differing states
one day i made the decision to move to texas realizing one state of depression looks the same as any other from the bottom of the barrel one day i will leave texas and be depressed somewhere new
Tag: poetry
w(i)n
she never plays games with me but there are rules which are strictly enforced and i follow them to the letter in hopes her heart is the prize
(un)titled ache
does it ever stop hurting does the ache ever stop or does it stay jammed in the back of the throat forever and ever like the words i never said forever lodged behind the tears that never stop falling
(un)titled ode XIX
i repeat myself for the millionth time in an ode of love to her why does each repetition feel like a fresh declaration a new dedication when the words are still the same.
(un)titled sorrow VII
right at the edge of a break down feet dangling over this cliff barely keeping myself together there has to be an end to this falling in love is a form of suicide impossible without u and i as the sorrow strangles and engulfs me peering into the shadowed abyss
(un)titled sorrow VI
it is cold in here the emptiness seems to compound it wherever you are i hope it is peaceful warm happy that the sun shines down upon you the ravens of sorrow do not mar your view there is a murder of them circling overhead here untouched by the cold
eq(u)at(i)on
mathematically speaking i am less than the sum of my desires a fractured fraction failing common core aestetics divisive multiplied by the power of you i² x u²= i sobbing alone
(un)titled ode XVIII
she carved the outline of a door into my breastbone with her sharpened fingernail. i stared at it and her in a mixture of pain and confusion. she smiled and knocked upon the bloody door. it opened. my heart soared from my chest like an owl from a snowy perch. now it is free to […]
(un)titled sorrow V
i wonder if i am but a storm to you. destined to fall endlessly. and only be a minor inconvenience.
w(i)nter
winter is the soul of lost lovers the virginal snow like the shroud on a corpse
(un)titled truth
if his disabilities were physical maybe he could rise above them instead they drown him
after the kids leave i am left with the knowledge that
i shave my head so when the anxiety hits i cannot rip it out. my arms carry the scars of lighters and blades. my heart has your name carved into the dessicated muscle. some days feel like death on pause. as i desperately hit play. but the batteries have gone dead. lucky bastards.
(un)titled sorrow IV
fell asleep on the couch dreamt of you when i woke the room was empty been trying to fall back asleep since
duty
little spider on the toilet seat illicits quite the scream as she sees it in the middle of the night now she makes me check before she will go pee i am father i know no peace i protect
f(all)
autumn is the soul of a poet hanging from the branches of a gnarled bare tree
(un)titled sorrow III
feel trapped on this carousel. riding the narwhal with a rainbow horn. always right behind her. never gaining. the warped mirrors make it feel like falling behind while staying in the same place. just going up and down in circular logic. too much cotton candy and popcorn. not enough substance.
postmark
i sent a letter to poe, postmarked today in a small urn. i buried it in a shallow grave. just a note of thanks. i am mostly uncertain about the subtle nuances of bending time and space. hope he gets it. on the front i scribbled, e.a. poe throes of depression eighteen thirty six baltimore. […]
(un)titled image II
one day we will make love like a funeral procession under overcast skies with aching joints two skeletons in halloween costumes
writing prompt
https://wolffpoetry.com/writing-prompt-winner-november-24th-2018-centered-acrostic-poem-challenge/ so i saw this writing prompt challenge on Ms. Wolff’s wonderful site for a centered acrostic poem. i wasn’t really in it to win, just wanted to express my thanks to her for featuring me last month. but i did somehow. if you have been here before you know i am not one to […]
c(u)re
they wore long white coats carried clipboards syringes filled with murky green solutions to issues i didn’t know i had but no matter the treatments when i close my eyes i only see you. they cannot cure that i wouldn’t let them if they could.
black, like my heart
open invite to the universe come over for some coffee and cuddles coffee optional you’ll find the cuddles are piping hot i may be slightly bitter nothing your sweetness cannot remedy
(un)titled image
his face was like a weathered headstone there was once meaning etched there long ago now it was just a relic empty.devoid.blank. forgotten
(un)titled ode XVII
she whispers from across the sea across the cosmos across time and i listen.
1422
stop do you hear that for a second the world was still. it sounded like this
pb&j
the heavy shovel head cut me in twain my upper half sought solace my lower half sought hell all the while she sat eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich uninterested in the world.
(in)vite
we met a vampire he was quite shy unpretentious we took him for ice cream he didn’t try any but he stared with big round eyes as it dripped down our hands onto the table we went home and he followed but i guess we forgot to invite him in sometimes i still see him […]
(un)titled ode XVI
the room is on fire smoke fills my lungs eyes burn she is an inferno i so desperately want to be consumed
scraping
scraping up change from the couch to get laundry done robbing peter then paul and any other good natured soul to get some groceries gave up my vices for destituion considering prostitution if things don’t turn around begged the financial institute for a stay of repossession things are bad and getting worse daily the life […]
sa(in)ne
i can’t tell if my poetry is evolving or if i am going insane
rea(within)son
the loneliness can kill you until you remember you are free. if i wanted to i could marry joan of arc. or marilyn monroe. i could do anything i want. i could discover a new continent. a new species of tortoise. be the first man on the moon. anything. within reason.
st(or)ms, or (i miss you), or (she), or (my fault)
she was safety a shelter from the storms that rage inside of me she was church or more likely an asylum with her the demons feared her light the voices stopped the sun still shined hope sprang eternal but she grew tired of the waves of the sea the constant battering the hurricane that is […]
(un)titled ode XV
there is a thin line between sacred scarred and scared. that line runs on intensity thoughts of you make me dance upon it all day long
(un)titled sorrow II
hope is a feather in a pile of used hypodermic needles love is an unanswered prayer littering the trash bin of purgatory the sky was the blue of sadness painted above him with uncertain hands, the sun a marble of remorse reflected off the dirty windows of the closed strip club across the street, the […]
br(i)ttle
i have lost plasticity my ceramic heart my thin glass soul unable to sustain deformation without shattering so i sit at the edge of this precipice in gale force winds i am just brittle teetering numb
plunge
the cyclical cycle of madness has taken the plunge from manic mayhem to insatiable sorrow fixated on the ugliness time to take a siesta unplug cannot tell if this is the post creative refractory period or if this is the entering of my blue period keep your hands and legs inside the car prepare for […]
f(r)iends
it sometimes feels like this self imposed hell is training for the afterlife except in hell i will be surrounded by all those i have loved i’ve broken down so many times the functional times are off putting i would give you all that i am but we both know you deserve so much better […]
consc(i)ous
scientists have discovered people are aware of the moment they die they are aware of conversations after the time of death has been called hearing nurses talk people sob immobile fading but listening the bright light of final oxygenated blood fading from the cerebral cortex traveling into the infinite vortex gasping grasping fleeting still heart […]
(un)sure
i wrote this the bus was on fire, the occupants were not children, they were demons with the faces of children, the driver just laughed as everything went up in flames sometime today i don’t know what i was thinking this wasn’t an ode to you if it was i sure can’t find the connection […]
ex(i)st
today i looked in my wallet and saw my driver’s license saw the same goofy looking face staring back at me on an official piece of identification irregardless of public opinion i exist
(un)titled ode XXIV
i wrote a new poem earlier it was garbage except it was about me loving you and this one is just about me writing about writing about loving you like the earlier one i trashed was a premonition it isn’t as if i stopped loving you i just stopped enjoying it being the only thing […]
common
the skin suit is weak failing every second he hopes maybe the words will live on all the greats died at least they will have that in common
(mess)age read
sometimes when the loneliness is too strong i text myself just something simple wondering where i am how things are going i never text back i am too busy being miserable
l(i)ving
there are rules to the game but no one ever wrote them down so instead we fumble about hoping we are playing it right keeping scores that are arbitrary at best i think i am losing but you seem to be doing great
(un)requited
feeling haunted by the ghosts of first kisses they hover at the edge of my lips whispering of times long dead shh can you hear them no they are mine alone my personal unrequited lullabye
deeply(shallow)
the river bed never sleeps yet settles for eroding the banks. that feels deeper than the shallows of my mind allows. as i sit and ponder the broken promises resting in the inky black.
(c)over
i saw the cover for my collection today it made it all real notches by m ennenbach my melancholy whimsies
(un)titled sorrow
i am so alone it could be worse at least that is what they say. fuck them though they aren’t sitting here crying with me i don’t think it could be worse. but who am i just a lonely fool with words for company
one dance
the music plays as i stand to the side and watch as the couples smile and twirl to the beat one day i shall hold you close stare into your beautiful eyes and the room will stare at us though i won’t know it blissfully unaware i only have eyes for you
(un)titled ode XXIII
i found myself fascinated with her clavicle with the gentle raised bumps of her spine in their graceful arc there is not an inch of her not a blemish nor scar that isn’t as if painted by matisse sculpted by michelangelo written by neruda composed by tchaikovsky my fingers dance upon her like baryshnikov my […]
gl(u)e
she asked what made me so broken makes me feel as if i could have it all and i held up my hands coated with decades of dried glue and shards of glass i can’t seem to put it back together again no matter how i try so now i just watch the light refract […]
(un)titled thought XXIX
are you real really real or did i dream you up am i real really real or an illusion in a funhouse mirror if i hold my breath and squeeze my eyes shut tightly i can hear the ocean thwump tiss thwump tiss if i hold my breath and think really hard really really hard […]
(un)titled ode XXII
i wish i knew your favorite animal the one you love the most the one you would keep as a pet if i knew which animal that was i would study in tibet behind enemy lines go against the chinese government learn the secrets of reincarnation of karmic return then i would commit crimes just […]
(un)titled ode XXI
the blank page stares at me on it all i can see is you another ode to this woman that haunts my mind and soul if i close my eyes you are in my arms i gently kiss the top of your head murmur my love when i open them again the page is filled […]
blackened friday
wrote this for black friday last year and a friend reminded me about it today so we can consider it a cyber monday deal at the manic word depot the walls are closing in on me this morning made the sacred pilgrimage to the Mart of Wal, the quest to find bread and milk a […]
a long way to go for little reward
i sat on the shore of the lake tossing pellets to the passing fowl an older gentleman sat near watching you look sad. he said i nodded need to chat. i asked if he ever wished he could do it all over again make better choices that would just make two more of them. i […]
(un)titled thought XXVIII
at some point in the middle of the night i woke up and wrote the word longing on a piece of paper by the bed and drew a series of hearts at least i think they are hearts without the aorta in place it is hard to tell maybe the pen was running low on […]
(un)titled ode XX
woke up after a long night of dreaming the sunlight through the blinds combined with the empty bed told me it was also another lonely night but the dreams were nice you were there again you looked as beautiful as i always imagine so it wasn’t a complete waste
(un)titled ode XIX
her lips across my throat like a razor her teeth come away crimson this is love by means of suicide
(un)titled ode XVIII
she glides across the room like a raven in flight my eyes are drawn to her every move she is beauty she is death i dream she is mine
pomegranate
early this morning i woke from a dream of pomegranate stained kisses last night before bed i spoke with my publisher about possibly using a pomegranate as the cover art for my collection when i woke from the dream i read a poem from one of my favorites she mentioned a pomegranate i fell back […]
(un)titled ode XVII
i know three things next to you the stars are the most beautiful thing i have ever seen and counting is not my strong suit but my appreciation for beauty is unmatched
sk(i)p
i need to fall in love with my own voice because i feel like a broken record. all the things i want would be better sought from within but i’m broken. so i listen to myself on repeat thinking the skip and the hiss have meaning they don’t.
(un)titled thought XXVII
if it wasn’t behind me long gone if i were to ever have more children i would name a daughter dolphin star call her my phinny star if he were a boy i would go with kraken cthulhu after cuddles i would scream release the kraken probably for the best for all parties that time […]
(un)titled thought XXVI
the neighbor’s dog barks and scratches at the door from when they leave until they return i feel the same wishing you would come knocking and relieve me of this hell i just need a collar with a bell
stylistic conceit
one day i hope to see myself as you see me on that day the lower case i will become nothing more than stylistic conceit one day perhaps
(i)
i shed my skin like a snake, leaving man sized balloons in my wake, faces left in mid scream from the pain of forced molting my muscles contort as bones shatter and joints pop from sockets, my mouth cracks wide as the muzzle if the beast comes forth i am no longer the man you […]
(un)titled thought XXV
it’s on the tip of my tongue i am fairly sure it is important but i’ll be damned if i know what it is feels like this isn’t the first time i have forgotten it so i am going to say it is it’s own damn fault for being so forgettable
rusted
some days i lay out in the sun to warm up my robot parts sometimes it rains then i just rust out on the lawn i don’t do it on purpose it is just hard to remember to care some days when all i want is to sit and stare into your eyes and remember […]
(un)titled thought XXIV
i sometimes wonder if this is all an elaborate ruse a mirage then i wonder why anyone would go through the effort to build such a vacant world just for me to suffer alone in
a pickle
i know a secret i fear i have said too much now you know a secret as well i won’t tell if you promise not to
fall(ing)(a)part
she wears an arboreal cloak leaving bits of red and yellow in her wake littering the ground with memories of laughter in the sun she turns the lights off early maybe to hide the fact she will soon be nude awaiting her fresh white blanket under fluffy gray remorse
ell
today shall be a day of writing he whispered to himself and he awoke to an abstract h so he lay in bed writhing as three bombs explode inside his head this is not the start he sought he thought as the abstract h held sway if it is truly mind over matter what matter […]
(un)titled thought XXIII
it’s funny a lack of beauty can inspire poetry a surplus of beauty can quench the words as if surrounding yourself with beauty kills the desire for it luckily for me i am usually all alone
(un)titled art
she painted across my skin with a myriad of styles lashing autumnal anger whithering winter sullen spring and seductive summers i was her canvas her flurry of emotional instabilites her brushes deep purple bruising ragged bite marks clawing her way through the fleshy bits until not an inch was left unsoiled she left me a […]
fourohfour
this application incarceration tinder setting myself on fire lime wire downloading viruses directly into my mania frame can’t explain can’t contain won’t refrain woeful disdain ones and zeros fluctuate punctuate deteriorate commiserate inundate antiviral mediation feel the bass roll across your skin goosebumps flicking tongues probing fingers phantom limbs growing numb kingdom come banish the […]
(so)ftly
kurt sings softly he swears he don’t have a gun another lie woven into the air how many softly sung falsehoods have worked their way into my ear of love of life of hopeless hope only to die unfulfilled
junkie
your love is a drug my veins are collapsing i knew this would happen the endorphin overdose has me shaking transferring manic neurosis for sexual subservience in an effort to sate this addiction one look a shot along my ocular nerve humming straight to my brain leaves me stumbling punch drunk searching for more one […]
(un)titled thought XXII
if you had told him when he was fifteen that one day it would be like this he would have shaken his head and walked away if you told him tomorrow it would get better he’d just look away in sorrow
edges
have you ever seen the edge of the void and wondered what it would feel like to fall for eternity he asked he could tell by her vacant expression and body language everything her lips didn’t say he quickly changed the subject
(un)titled thought XXI
i would give you something beautiful something that reflects the you i see but all i have is words emotions thoughts they seem to not amount to much hardly worthy of you
(un)titled ode XVI
i have whispered your name so many times my tongue has formed a callus my heart has quickened at the simple thought of you it is as if my brain torments it callously one grows numb the other goes insane as if i have a choice
home(alone)
i called back home today just to hear the sounds of being innocent again got a busy signal and the unending pain of longing illinois feels like a daydream fleeting memories and forgotten roads that used to be as ingrained as the scars upon my hands now faint white lines crisscrossing my brain and heart
(un)convincing
i wonder if when i reach chapter twenty and the epilogue if i will title my poetry more often than i have lately it began as a way to write about her without expressly saying they were about her her then it snowballed into everything was another (un)titled thought i would send out to the […]
(un)titled ode XV
sometimes i wonder what would happen if i stopped thinking i love you and just said it then that little voice screams in the back of my head that i would lose the small piece of you i have so i stay quiet but know i think it or we can both pretend i do […]
(un)titled thought XX
she waved smiled and said hello clearly the look on my face spoke volumes it was half an hour later i realized who she was i felt like an asshole i am nearly positive i wasn’t alone in that assessment as bad as i am with names i am just as bad with faces
(un)titled thought XIX
all he saw was a crooked smile and it was all he needed to see
luck
there is a sniper on the ridge taking pot shots as i do my evening stroll plumes of earth rise from a few feet to my side one of these days she’ll get off that lucky shot depending on the day i cannot tell which of us will be luckiest when she finally does until […]
drive
the highway is filled with the fumes of dinosaur corpses and saturated fats every mile haunted by the ghosts of every molten memory misery is the co-pilot windshield wipers smear the entrails of the past hammer down the accelerator as the present blurs into fleeting gasps the future is a burning orb on the horizon […]
wh(i)spers
he makes all sorts of secret promises to himself in the dark he will be better he will be stronger he will not be broken not again in the light though cracks begin to appear in those softly whispered promises his resolve cracks as well he falls into the same routine the same cycle the […]
(un)titled ode XIV
telling myself to not love her is like eating soup with a fork it is fucking stupid pointless a waste of time and energy so instead you tip the bowl to your mouth and hope to drown
death defying
hope is a trapeze but someone sawed through the bar love is a tightrope that has been electrified neither come with instructions and the audience wants you to fail because they know a secret the net is made from razor wire suspended over a tank of piranhas
(un)titled ode XIII
she smelled of wildflowers and hellfire her head adorned with a briar crown her every word scarred upon her lips branded upon her skin it was impossible to not fall madly in love with her untamed spirit he was just the latest fool to try
organ donor regrets
i am an organ donor but i am having second thoughts they say the ones who receive the organs sometimes have flashes of the donor’s feelings and thoughts can i risk that does saving a life and inflicting pain still equal a gift take my eyes and see the image of her burnt into the […]
destiny
this isn’t where he thought he’d end up, this isn’t where he hoped to be, the fortune teller said she saw him free like the breeze but he never expected to be a macabre law ornament she read his palm, his life line lost at sea, his love line a hyphenated long since erased, he’d […]
(un)titled thought XVIII
he writes more about writing than he writes about life because he can lose himself in the words when he writes about life he just realizes all that he lost
set piece
there are times the very last place i want to be is trapped in my own skin like a character in my own shitty novel i will give the author credit he really doubles down on the sadness
(un)titled thought XVII
there is a streak of bird shit on my windshield it looks like modern art two thoughts occur to me one the bird has talent two it may be sick either way i feel like my art is lacking
(un)titled thought XVI
sometimes i will write poems for first thing in the morning as you read them i have already forgotten them you start your day with my final thoughts of the night before i feel like a time traveler sending missives to future you sorry for the confusion i was a different person then or now […]
nolite loqui latine
my sanity left this afternoon it scribbled a note said it needed a break i have spent the rest of the day talking to the toaster but he only speaks latin
(un)titled thought XV
he spent so long drained the emotions he ignored crystalized inside of him and inside this cave filled with dazzling jewels a light shines only for her
Mike's Manic Word Depot 