unfortune cookie

found a fortune cookie in the cupboard while searching for something to quell the savage rumbling i had been attempting to ignore been in bed all day reading couldn’t fathom a single reason to rise nor shine like a thick cloud layer over suburban splendor more aptly smog over an urban death zone just another […]


two weeks with my only tethers to this mortal coil, my progeny, my shattered soul made whole managed to make it home, the roiling mass of tentacles, the curling ball of sorrow like acid etching the back of my throat before collapsing in a heap it is quiet now no noise to muffle the frantic […]


crying into my shoulder as i attempt to make coffee, wanting to be alert for the misery that will keep sleep at bay the put me down of this everlasting misery more than the pick me up of this dark brown sludge, the black taint on my mind, this stabbing pain in my chest, this […]

deal, words

i found myself at the crossroads, was sleep walking on air, awoke at the crossroads, and the devil met me there he asked if i had any wishes, i told him fix my broken heart, he said he could fix it, it would only take the smallest part i asked what it was he wanted, […]

rain and kitties, words

it’s raining been a long day of writing between menial tasks a cat yowls outside miserable in the dampness poor little thing i’m so tired not sleeping thoughts whirling i miss my kitty ish she changed before she died she wasn’t the same never wanted cuddles just sort of did her own thing away from […]

training, words

i like to think of my failed suicide attempts as dress rehearsals or just planning stages not failures just getting the rhythm right the cuts the pills the misfires like jerking off before a big date get the bad ones out first so when the voices finally win when i reach my wits end i […]

cureforall, words

four aspirin, four pamprin washed down with dayquil and my first coke in years a cocktail recommended by a friend hope it works been a bad one today staring out the window as the purple creeps over the blue the moon rises an equinox warm spring blossoms green takes over from brown atmospheric pressure pounding […]

unnamed 2018, words

am i an illusion the memories of life before fade the person i was seems to be disappearing and the new form feels wrong the skin is too itchy my wings stretch but catch no wind i can no longer propel myself into the sky now when i catch dreams on which to feast they […]

trans-ition, a tale

I was sitting on the toilet, seat down, waiting for the wax to cool while bedazzling my leather thong when I had an epiphany. I said to myself, self it doesn’t get much better than this. Then I ripped the wax off and fought a scream. The price of being beautiful in this trying age […]

escape, words

i’m thinking about running away leaving just a duffle bag of fluff and my phone guadalajara perhaps, learn acoustic guitar, become a mariachi sneak across the boarder up north and become a lumberjack, or harvest syrup jump in a freighter and get lost in china, eat scorpions and only speak mandarin anywhere but here somewhere […]

far from right, words

punch drunk from this constant ache eight more aspirin and a nap the life of half existence is hard relief, release, instead regret, remorse so i down the pills close my eyes whisper my love to the kids, to another if i die in my sleep those are strong last words words only i could […]

fishing, words

“so, you actually are writing again” i didn’t quite care for her tone “yep” “since when” “august” she sat quietly trying to figure out how to ask if any of it was about her years ago she drunkenly confessed she thought the idea of someone writing about her was romantic then she threw up and […]

guano, words

figuring out life through echo location just screaming at the wall and hoping to find the way ignore the stares, those judging baleful glares thoroughly lost and unwilling to ask for help so no sudden movements if you please and thank you i’m fine

honestly enough, words

i sleep on the couch because the bed is too big it isn’t comfortable it is just the only place i can find solace i eat brown rice everyday because i don’t care it isn’t good it is just enough to make it through another day in hell i don’t live i survive i don’t […]

roar, words

can you hear me roar as it thunders across the plains calling out to you, need and want booming through the night i roar for you hunger and lonelieness, a plea for you to come to me to fill this need this driving force inside of me i want you to fill it the snarl […]

withdrawal, words

hands shaky, irritable, ants under my skin withdrawal my only addictions are women that are too good for me, profanity, and seeking things i shall never attain then why the onset signs of withdrawal not because she stopped talking to me, she being every single woman i have ever shown interest in unless they are […]

home a throne, words

been wrecklessly abandoned to rust on the side of life’s highway not allowed to solo ride the high occupany lane, taken to bringing a mannequin with me put under house arrest, a fate worse because at least with the dummy my mannequin is not left alone the castle i occupy, carefully sculpted from my body, […]

a gift, words

i bought myself a valentine’s day gift today it is a knife holder in the shape of my dessicated heart now when i cook the meals i do not taste i can pull a blade out and in sustenance find a small piece of absolution and when i regret the food i consumed and clean […]

Last Bow, words

i don’t believe in anything any longer not gods or goddesses, not magic, not miracles, not fate or destiny or predestiny there is no one there to answer the prayers, the begging, the hopes, the dreams i want to, i wish there was more to this barrage of elemental destruction, mental disrepair, broken spirit and […]

cupid, words

cupid missed me yet again this year though i am beginning to doubt the veracity of his bow and arrow maybe the cherub took a blow to the head, got his sights mixed up, or maybe he just took to drinking the last couple times he struck it didn’t fly straight and true maybe it […]