withdrawal, words

hands shaky, irritable, ants under my skin

withdrawal

my only addictions are women that are too good for me, profanity, and seeking things i shall never attain

then why the onset signs of withdrawal

not because she stopped talking to me, she being every single woman i have ever shown interest in

unless they are in the exclusive ex club and then they like to stir up the coals of an old flame

i look better as you drive away from the car accident that was our love because objects in the mirror appear closer than they are

i feel on the verge of tears and strangling someone in one bated breath

like a full break down

withdrawal

from what

my only addictions are being half as clever as i think i am, being not as bad as i believe i am, and dreaming

which one did i quit cold turkey

still feel that familiar ball of self-loathing in the back of my throat

did i dream last night at all

everytime I get the urge for whatever this is i am craving i do ten more push ups

arms are burning this early in the day as i hit one hundred

may switch to sit ups

everyday is a good day to work the core

i would say it is withdrawal from you, but you cut me out before i could be addicted to you

as i spilled myself like the fifteenth shot too many you had already decided i was not the one

i appreciate the euthanasia you performed, even if perhaps a bit premature

but what do i know

soaked my chest in every weed killer i could get my hands on prevent anything from growing there again

and now this withdrawal has me so very angry and sad and restless and morose

at one time

an insatiable need for something undefined which makes it all the worse really

i could buy a pack of smokes, a couple shots, hell some heroin if that would scratch this itch

but it won’t

textbook withdrawal symptoms

just have to ride it out

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