seems to be a full time job manufacturing emotional breakdowns a flurry of pleas to be seen to be heard seems to be exhausting this constant need for validation seems to me i don’t understand the machinations the prerequisites of self delusion in taking pity as a placebo to fill the spaces in a fictitious […]


there are days i’ve lived that i do not think were ever meant for me whole chunks of my existence that seemed predestined for another yet somehow i slipped in by mistake a tragic case of the right body with the wrong soul so if you look at me and see someone else it’s me […]


it was an arrangement of arraignments arranged in random order sighted in the eye of a ridiculous reticule of ridicule and remorse it was absolutely normal in an errantly abnormal sense laid out according to litigious lies lying as laying laying while lying it possibly made sense as dollars make cents in abstractly abhorrent change

who are you

this skin feels like it belongs to another itchy off putting a costume rendition of another being carefully placed over an all consuming ball of doubt this face stares back through shattered glass to reflect a thousand broken images ranging through a rainbow of insipid lies in the guise of emotional incongruence i speak his […]


like swimming in an oil slick, coated in the viscosity of every errant thought, unable to find purchase on the smooth cut stone of wonder like diving into the fire itself, the sins of tomorrow ignite like fireflies dancing down every ganglia, frying like bacon spitting into the breeze again it’s like that, freezing in […]


i heard felt more than saw the explosions around me it was sensory overload one minute it is fine normal the next chaos sub sonic waves knocked me back screams echoing as slowly movement returned i blinked away spots white light and colors swam lazily into focus i knew something had happened but for the […]

actually uttered words

man in all black with soul patch to woman in all black (without soul patch) I’ve been told I have the hands of a philosopher hemlock stained? covered in ink? bruised from the the tortures of the church? my mind struggled to understand

nude refra(i)n

i keep the blinds closed as i struggle to remain clothed it is too damned hot to be dressed too damned cold for nudity so i choose to follow the path life has chosen for me a donkey carrot/stick/combination for the ages anonymity impersonality alternating between too many blankets(statements or otherwise)too much flesh(floppy bits and […]


lethologica and fregoli delusion settle in every face is the same no names endless crowds of strangers in a room full of friends i’ve said certain words so many times semantic satiation has set in the neural pathways have been burned from my mind so if i look you in the eyes and have no […]


she was shriveled once so strong and imposing one look and you stood straighter and minded your manners now she was half the size a quarter of the weight all loose skin and wires the room smelled like shit from the bag half hanging off the bed a clear tube with brown piss oozing into […]


feel like i am plagarizing myself lately the same bittersweet regrets and wants filling every pensive ode it is short term amnesia waking up and forgetting these desires have always been there i’ve fallen so many times it is more relaxing mid-plummet than trying to stand on wobbly legs so many misses i’ve lost sight […]

the set up to something nefarious, probably

out of the blue i got a text asking how i am who’s this i stared at the number not recognizing it at all it’s funny that as a kid i knew all my friends numbers by heart i could call any of them or family dad’s job it was a no brainer all those […]

lost in mistranslation

maybe english isn’t really my native tongue i speaks bits of other languages, a mutt of linguistical gymnastics, not enough to be fluent but just the right amount to offend perhaps i haven’t found my true language in the ocean of words that lazily laps the beaches of my mind what if the doctors implanted […]

quam minimum credula postero

as a kid they taught us carpe diem seize the day did you shout it in your head i do when i read it a simple phrase, but one of empowerment as i grew up i saw it used all over reach for your dreams, grab the bull by the horns seize the day ever […]


sitting silently staring at the window hoping to see her smiling face azure eyes my phone rang i answered stock elevator music in the background a female voice spoke to me in mandarin of which i am less than fluent but as she spoke i began to understand the initial urge to hang up vanished […]

meds, words

on some serious anti-sobriety medication have a subscription with this dude i know he prescribes i imbibe assimilate flower i enjoy the drive to an illicit exchange it elicits an invocation summons a djinn of time erasure one drive and a week is gone just ligature marks and the faint recollection of longing bushido code […]

snap, words

she sat staring holes through me from the back of the room her purse on her lap cigarette in her mouth eyes squinting from the smoke hands folded on top of her hand bag just staring “if you have something to say just fucking say it.” the cigarette flares red as she takes a long […]

burst, words

static fills the air the hair on my arms stands up a hum fills the room ossicles vibrate and form a bridge to the oval window like when the cicadas are out in force and it pervades everything all shakes on cue all shakes on cue i’m starting to think my imaginary friend is real […]

spark, words

can an old flame long dormant ever spark again will it ever reach the inferno it once was or is it destined to just be an ember until it eventually turns to a hard black cluster on the right ventricle it stops just enough blood flow to cause lethargy but not nearly enough to kill […]

museum trip, words

it all started to cascade like the churning waters of the white rapids when you were a kid that trip why is that in your head indistinct drawings of stick figures and strange beasts, the flickering light of torches wash across the cave wall, the sounds of something primal, stalking, low growling bounced around the […]