a simple test

turn your head towards the wall and tip your head back, lower your mask so that your nose only is exposed i do as i am requested the tightness in my chest mixed with the fear from countless friends descriptions of the procedure there is no warning no this may sting or gentle squeeze of […]

vacuum of hope

the red hot hooks tear easily into the soft flesh of abdominal digression chained to the fetid earth facedown to muffle the screams as the loose soil fills the airways where vacant screams once lived a series of long rusty nails pounded lovingly into the skull to release the demons who feel naught but anxiety […]

pregnant

i woke not to pee or roll over not from dream or pain my mouth was full of saliva i lay half dazed swallowing too much spit only for my mouth to immediately fill i have worn this skin suit long enough to realize when it is not operating optimally the oversalivation was a precursor […]

a nap

drowning on dry land lungs filled with fluid thick and viscous suffocating every breath that wheezes it’s way in or out it is bound to get better or not a nap that might do the trick

cooking

afloat on a pat of butter in a pan over high heat wondering why my arm hairs are getting singed perhaps i will dissolve into the dismissal of my own misunderstandings my former obsession depression sinks her fangs into my neck again to speed the cooking time reminding me she was always the one with […]

fever(ish)

huddled in a ball with my little stuffed cow it’s bedtime but neither of us feels like sleeping the ceiling seems so far away the wall is uninviting my eyes feel dry as my head is stuffed with steel wool so tired i cannot sleep so hot i feel like i am freezing come closer […]

(un)titled thought XLVII

i have been sick for days but it feels like months and my mouth seems to run on it’s own with no thought to what my brain keeps yelling like an automated car or a chainsaw in a horror movie once it fires up i just clench and await the blood that will inevitably come […]

fevered appeals

i cannot see, this fallacy, this faded sea, this infancy sadness, madness, sorrowful morose, singular, modular, scented malaise shake the plastic eight ball and show me my future, all of my answers hidden in the murky blue depths all signs point to the emptiness the uncertain certainty of cerulean cynicism sinking softly into saline daydreams […]

that’ll show them

oh the constipated horror of it all this half digested mess in my mind these sloppy words that won’t come out and play no matter how i coax them with tales of wine and women and song no these bastards are unwilling to come down from the rafters where they roost upside down like great […]

881

tightness in my chest my lips feel numb my left arm is tingling dizzy sweating can’t catch my breath am i live writing a poem about having a heart attack or is this stress induced barely slept kept waking acid reflux all night long i just want to lay down and sleep but another nine […]