i woke before the sun
and spat all of my sad
little lost boy dreams
into the insipid aether
crushed my hopes up
with every unanswered prayer
and tossed them all
directly into the lake

i watched them poison
the waters as the fish
floated to the top
pale bellies reflecting
the light of an
all too indifferent sun

i am so goddamned tired
of always being so
goddamned tired and i wonder
if that will be the epitaph
on my granite headstone
or just the opening verse
of my letter explaining
the sheer beauty in suicide

i woke before the sun
and when it finally rose
the indifference as it
shines on a world of woe
made me long to crawl back
into bed to sleep and dream
where her smile lights the day
burning away the depression
that chokes my every breath