coffee flavored kisses

i lay waiting for the birds to wake up a signal of sorts that i have stared up into nothingness for the human alotted time the first three notes trumpeted on repeat tell me it is nearly six how many times have i frantically sent my love waiting for the birds to release me from […]

too many eyes make for insomnial mornings

spent three hours trying to find the sleep that came so easily at the beginning of the night tossing and turning spiralling downward through the things i yearn to simply forget the three am fugue of sins that now drape themselves over my innocuous hell i told the ceiling every secret the hidden truth others […]

noth(i)ng but cracks

carve these eyes from my grinning skull cut off my nose to spite my face take a pound or ten of flesh to satiate the sickness burning you up from within. i cannot be your dream but i can give you everything i am until it arrives. i am nothing if not willing because i […]

sick and whining; a poet is

i feel radiant in shades of gray drawn so petulant in fragmented meh my insides feel rusted and clogged my unsides reel in staggering instances of grave despair church bells ring signalling the end of selfish lividity i scream until blood flecks my spittle into the howling winds raging forth so impetuously unimportant hell has […]

insipid

occasionallysleep escapes myclumsy fingersnow i fumble abouthalf asleep andhalf pissed offwaiting to seeif the sun willrise or if thiscold that settledin my heartquiverwill ever ceaseas i sit hackingand wheezing andlonging to dreamof her.

stone

exhaustedbut unableto calmthe hornetsin my chest wishing fora basiliskto turn meto stonenaybe then, rest

sleep

pull the stuffingfrom the pillowstoss the comforterinto the firefor there shallbe no sleepin this denof sloven truth

and still eternity whispers

i feel cold bone weary in need of a long quiet rest the world weighs more today than i can manage even with broad shoulders callused hands i feel the urge to curl up ignore the flames crackling as it all turns to ash i feel cold bone weary but today i ignore the call

dreamkisses

as exhaustion sweeps through my weary mind the darkness pulls me deeper into its embrace you ripple through my mind with sparks of electricity teasing my quickening pulse as i long to fall asleep clutching you instead of this pillow that soaks in the dreamkisses meant for your lips alone

no cure

in the quiet hours after the world has fallen asleep the whispers fill my head as i desperately drift towards slumber that never fully embraces me back same with the universe itself it only gives limp half attempts at comforting embraces just enough to know it is forced unmeant nonreciprocal incidental brushings against rather than […]

woke

i woke with a longing for you to pour your golden light down my throat as if molten lead to coat my chest in your ethereal magic joy i woke with an urge to use an exactoblade to rearrange my fingerprints so i could adopt a new identity better suited to life i woke with […]

mourning morning

as sleep drips from my brain honey to trickle down my nervousness in waves of sweet surrender the remain of dreamgrit in the morning dark that i cannot scrub from the corner of my unfocused eyes i await the sun to burn the sins of yesterday from my tattered soulflag as it hangs at half […]

shattered again

i follow the eight five three rule of sleep since the end of all i held dear eight hours in bed five staring at the ceiling replaying a greatest hits package that ends in tears three hours of broken sleep punctuated by waking with her name on my lips rinse and repeat every night for […]

virtuous

been laying in the lush foilage nestled against the dry ground as the insects feast upon the supple flesh of good intention leaving nothing but a husk that once resembled a man of virtue

sleepy

he woke up with a headache as the rains fell outside he realized there was no point in the day nor most of the others as well so he readjusted the pillows scratched himself then went back to sleep. there is always tomorrow. most likely.

one line

in the thrall of sleeping pills where the world is syrupy slow the will is sapped serenely but the events of the day leave the mind cloudy with excitement that won’t quite wash away the random screaming agonies. win some lose some remember the small victories even in the face of crushing defeat. it’s funny. […]

pillow

most everyone is a stain a mold ingratiating themselves into the fabric of life. but you’re okay. could be worse. now if you will excuse me. i am going to scream into a pillow.

smears

she stares at me from across the dark parking lot with a blank expression compounded with the yellowish flood light casting long shadows across her face black seems to pour down her cheeks as she stretches on gnarled hand out across the void of night between us my heart stutters in my chest as my […]

tired

some days there just isn’t anything but that deep bone tired every thing else is too much i feel like a wrinkled bag blowing in the desert wind between dunes that are interchangeable lost and too god damned tired to do anything but let that fetid air push me wherever it will

sailed

it’s raining yet the sun still tries to shine through the scattered gray skies the aches that pulsate through the vessel are nothing new reminders of the fragility inherent three more hours sleep would more than likely make things better but that ship has long since sailed

outside the fire

my guts are knotted like the tangled skein as clothos runs the rusty scissors to trim the errant thread from the tapestry of fate i feel her fingers across parchment thin skin to gently fondle the mass of tumors filling every crevice of this humanshaped sac deprived of stimuli wrested from sleep to shudder silently […]

hibernate

highs and lows of inclement weather sending the cellular biome into a state of disrepair of despair wrangling wild witticisms into a full slate of winsome goodbyes as the urge to sleep until summer wins out

too tired to hope

damn the laws of nature that keep the waterfall from flowing back up the craggy spires of time damn the laws of physics that make it impossible to understand the bumblebee’s majestic flight damn the stars damn the sky damn the infinite cosmos with it’s immensity in the face of reality ever expanding with the […]

strength in a tired smile

you would think she was ready to flee with those heavily packed bags under her swollen eyes you would think she could stop the tears that danced in her vision like a perpetual mist yet she kept moving forward with the weight of the world dragging doggedly behind her every step say what you will […]

half awake

the king size bed feels even emptier for the excess of pillows the hallways echo from vacationing families yet the walls just stand in silence i have a view of the pool from the room but pulled the shades closed unwilling to imagine a time when this could be a pleasurable excursion two hour flight […]

sleeplessness

simplicity is an iron wrought anklet drug behind the dingy floating on the storm tossed oceans of melancholia sleep deprivation draws the ravens to circle, black eyes search for sun bleached bones in the desert sands of loneliness three uninterrupted hours of dream in exchange for the listless meanderings of a fool filled with anxious […]

shadows

the shadows play across the ceiling as i spend night whatever in a row unable to sleep even as my vision grows blurry this pounding in my skull is a nonrefundable debt to the universe for services not yet rendered have you ever felt like maybe it was the end of the world and that […]

(no more)chasing

it has rained for two days straight it seems to have been enough to finally rinse your scent from my nose no more baying after you chasing after what doesn’t want to be caught the hunt is over might as well try and catch ghosts as pursue something that was never there except in dreams

dripping

drip drip it was a strange noise that woke me far too early a rather ringing sort of drip drip i tried to ignore it so tired always so tired drip drip so i stumbled from dream into underwater kitchen felt the water hit my head from the light above goddess knows i may have […]

(in)som(n)ia

tired but the brain won’t quit exhausted head still thrumming at full speed visions of you like sugar plum fairies dancing whispering screaming even in near passing out conditions you keep me awake if i could hear you say those magic words all would be right instead i will hear them in my head as […]

in the mo(u)rning

all i have left is the empty bottle of pills and a need for sleep i’m so tired of being alone in pain suffering silently it is no pain that is unique to me we all feel the crushing sorrow of alienation we all cry but as i look at the remains of the house […]

insomniac simpleton

and still i’m awake twenty hours later and sleep won’t find me i curse the walls for their silence the ceiling for it’s allure the world for it’s indifference my mind for it’s ceaseless rambles tried begging and pleading backwards counting and offset breathing how do i shut this off this mental replay seeking fanciful […]

where the fool feels weary and sore

the poet illiterate is in a weird place his words keep singing but his feet don’t feel like dancing to the guilty rhythm the bare nerve endings and the onslaught of salty mist is unbearable he needs more and not more of the nothing he has grown accustomed too he tires of the same unfulfilled […]

drive

there is a black hole in my center a ravenous hunger a need that nothing i can find will satiate it’s always been there this desire a bottomless pit of want no drug nor drink can fill this churning haunting thing nothing can stay this itch in the back of my mind this emptiness of […]

955

the words these goddamned odes to the only lady that sees me for me the grand dame depression every morning my eyes open and she whispers hello and holds me close and i hate her so much but she’s all i have the world is so empty and every time i see a light it […]

one last (re)quest

i was barefoot walking through a garden of carnivorous plants their pollen was intoxicating and i barely felt the stinging bites as they slowly consumed me piles of sun bleached bones barely a tendon withered and dried remained on i traverse inexorably drawn deeper in until the sun is blocked by the canopy of leaves […]

doesn’t matter to me either

and i just stood in the shower the water washing the sweat and dirt from my tired body my head against the cool tile of the wall bah doesn’t matter to the kittens stalking prey in the talk grass outside doesn’t matter to me either my mind near shutting off as the streams bombarded my […]

come in and lie down

they built suicide pods that look like tanning beds for all the advances in medication the one treatment they always tend to forget is for the incorrigible symptom of living pay the fee press the button go to sleep commerce boiled down to it’s finest point you get what you pay for even if it […]

day breaks night’s face

the sky is bruised as the sun forces itself upon the sleeping world angrily making the air thick with hostility somehow stripping moisture while saturating it with perspiration from all living things just a haze a nimbus around my vision focusing on all the wrong things and in my periphery i see shimmering bodies that […]

sleepless shanty

heavy eyelids empty words echoing do i sleep or write another pensive ode does it matter in the long run what’s another night of fitful sleep another stop start smattering of words i don’t deserve either but i feel like i need both some days i feel like a pirate displaced from my proper time […]

only in dreams do dreams come true

dreamt a dream where a dream came true and as the dream came true a former flame did her best to burn it down when the alarm went off i fought responsibility to stay and see where it would go but then woke up less than awake with this aching ache now i want to […]

a week of todays

i’m still in bed the fan blowing on me and the need to get up and relieve my bladder at war with the dread of starting another day considering a catheter maybe a bucket but the damned bag would need changed or bucket need emptied and if I can barely make the effort to stand […]

so very tired

it all falls apart eventually the entropic laws of the universe how many words can one pour out into a universe that doesn’t notice them at all how many dreams have to not materialize how many hopes can be dashed upon the rocks of the shore how many before you hang your pen up and […]

hidden in plain site

juxtapose the missionaries passionate throes the crux of the matter the flux of the bladder madder and madder he chased after the hatter common causality coincides congruently catastrophically allow me to demonstrate the proper way to asphyxiate wait a psychic shockwave originating on a farm in central montana a flock of blue jays fly into […]