(un)titled he IX

he is her’s completely in every way, beholden besotted, bewildered by her every thought and word docile yet ferocious, capable of equal amounts immense love and loyalty or savage rage and fury he is

(un)titled ode VIII

do you ever think you shall love me i asked she smiled and said i shan’t so i moved on eventually found someone new that was when she decided she shall she asked me to give her the chance i’d offered before i didn’t smile i couldn’t i just softly whispered i can’t

mag(I)cian

i can pull a rabbit from a hat a dove from my pocket make three rings into one interlocked chain i can pull the table cloth off of the table and not disturb a dish saw a woman in half guess your card any card squeeze blood from a stone turn water into wine escape […]

autobiographical biopsy

pins and needles race down my deadened limbs anxiety acupuncture for the shattered soul massage my temples this temple unholy hell fire rains from the tolling brass bell brain stem haunted by demons named longing desire and remorse work the gordian knot out of past tense muscular dystopia hollow brittle bones echo broken hearted odes […]

(un)titled thought VI

thirty degrees in texas wind chill in the teens coffee and depression under a blanket steel gray soft and comfortable looking for a reason not to curl up and cry need an electoral college for will to go on because the popular vote says quit trying the electoral college was a way to balance out […]

melancholy minstrel

soon it will be morning another fitful time for dreaming to end every ending means a new beginning but i’m not ready for this time to end quite yet perhaps i fear a new beginning more than the pain of clinging to this ending the melancholy minstrel and his faintly forgotten fallacies

(un)titled ode VII

she crashed through my life like a lightning bolt as quickly as she came she was gone i could no more capture her essence as catch the wind in my feeble grasp then she was gone all that remained lichtenberg figures etched into my heart her signature clawed into my brain her scent burnt into […]

to Stan

your words and creations helped shape a better world left an indelible imprint you guided the hearts and minds you touched made us see nothing was impossible now you rest and the world itself is less colorful less dynamic with your passing so many iconic characters storylines tinged with hope so much joy thank you […]

(un)titled he VIII

he is tangibly intangible in contrast to viable constructs in an illusionary world radiantly irradiated by the solar rays that refract through ozone and bounce off of satellite hearts he is

happily (n)ever afters

i like fairy tales because against all facts to the contrary in the real world they have happy endings evil is vanquished true love prevails everyone lives happily ever after life is nothing like that though evil tends to triumph the valiant knight gets cancer the princess tends to run away with the bad guy […]

(un)titled ode VI

they argue the glass is half empty the glass is half full my glass lays broken on the floor shards pierce my knees as i scramble to clean the mess they could just pour their glasses together and be full

(un)titled thought III

as the world crumbles down around my head and so few positives exist i cling to a dream coming true an actual book i wrote is getting published i could have self published nearly did but that wasn’t my dream my dream was a publisher recognizing my works and they did a real publishing house […]

verbicide

take anything i say with a grain of salt as my words seem tasteless in my mouth my tongue is coated with coffee my mind with dull ache i shouldn’t operate heavy machinery or a quill when in this state but if the pen is mightier than the sword cannot think of a more fitting […]

blister

i read it isn’t about weathering the storm it is learning to dance in the rain so i strapped on my best rusty suit of armor let the lightning strike as it is wont to do stripped down to my boxers frolicked in the blizzard chased tornados with nothing but the best intentions i stared […]

(un)titled ode V

your teeth gnaw gnash your tongue laps at the fluids hunger consumes you my heart is a waterfall streaming pastel colours in an ever slowing stream feast upon my jagged wound before it turns to rot then you shall know feast from famine as my blood turns to honeyed wine on your greedy little tongue […]

(un)titled ode IV

she sought to exorcise my demons unaware that the evil is deeper than sin it goes into my bones it has been finger painted across my soul she wept tears of blood as the fires of purity flashed back in her face it singed her wings left her grounded due to my blackened love she […]

(in)som(n)ia

tired but the brain won’t quit exhausted head still thrumming at full speed visions of you like sugar plum fairies dancing whispering screaming even in near passing out conditions you keep me awake if i could hear you say those magic words all would be right instead i will hear them in my head as […]

wind

the wind howls your name and all i can do is stare outside and feel it’s need as well

1295

what we see is colored by perspective what we hear is tainted by opinion he sat on the bench watching the world, while seeing none of it, his mind was far away from where his eyes stared, lost in the sands of yesterday the first time she walked past him his heart skipped a beat, […]

first times

have i grown jaded everything reeking of familiarity longing for a first time again the first time i kissed a girl the world exploded into fireworks racing down my spine the first time i experienced death holding his hand as the last breath rattled out of his chest gaunt and weak the first time i […]

s(mile)

she stared into my eyes and smiled it was a smile that all smiles strive to attain it was a sliver of sunshine it curved like the pommel of a throwing axe it curved in a way that fit perfectly into the gaps of me it curved with a promise of blue skies of forever […]

l(i)ar

it is all going to be okay, he whispers though he knows he lies he doesn’t have to believe he just has to keep going

van gogh’s other ear

i will never make truly beautiful art women won’t sigh their hearts won’t skip a beat their breath catch in their throats at my words i’ll never be matisse rembrandt whitman braugtigan neruda or bukowski my name will never be uttered in hushed tones but still i write destined to be forgotten van gogh’s other […]

sp(a)ce

it is the spaces between the distance between the nucleus to the electron orbits the gap defines the beauty within and with out the imperfections define perfection it is the space between the stars that makes the night sky so gorgeous the river carves through the rock and makes the scenic valley the distance between […]

1289

if you dig through the ashes sift ever deeper into the embers of who i used to be it is less than you would hope or imagine mix my blood my sweat my remaining tears into the ash paint a masterpiece to remember me by then let the ash blow into the wind i was […]

so you can soar

come to me rest your weary head upon my shoulder let your tears soak into me infuse me i shall take all of your pain your sorrow fold it into the fabric of my being allow you to fly once more you are not meant for this it is why i am here so you […]

rabbit foot

horseshoe hung over the door four leaf clover in my pocket pinch of salt over the left shoulder thirteen branded on my leg they say a rabbit’s foot brings you luck but they never talk about the poor bunny who lost a paw aimlessly hopping under ladders accidentally breaking mirrors she was my lucky rabbit’s […]

(un)titled he VII

he is awkwardly pantomiming the motions of day to day existence with no comprehension of living and existing tap-dancing on landmines in a foolhardy attempt to feel anything even if it is just pain he is

lies

it isn’t the lies we tell others that damn us it’s the ones we tell ourselves that lead to ruin

hollow

these hands belong to a different person these scars from another life but these thoughts this self hatred these doubts they remain mine smoke hangs heavy on the breeze, red and white lights flash as home burns, my home, my things just ash on the breeze, my memories faulty, my dreams in flame the drink […]

moved

i shall not be moved my roots extend too deeply the tides shall not sweep me away but i shall not be moved my love for you shifts the soil beneath leaves my footing unsure but i shall not be moved you’ll have to come to me my insides have grown hooks and barbs blackened […]

i am

was it a dream this acrimonious excuse tantrums in tandem i am the eye of the storm no more shall feeble hands grasp at sullen whispers i am daybreak these haunting glimpses into eternity’s dead eyed stare come hither and taste the blood from thine own copious lies for i am your end for i […]

she swirls

she swirls in a long black dress through the rain sending droplets in her wake her bare feet glide upon the water ripples spread out a web of waves pulling me in her every step a masterpiece her body saying the words no lip nor tongue could ever utter spellbound drawn ever deeper into her […]

you were right, happy now

i never imagined that it would end up like this if you had asked me ten years ago what the end would be like i would have said raining blood polar ice caps melting flooding everywhere nuclear war plague of locusts mole men from the center of the hollow world it just seemed like a […]

( )

lately everything has been (un)titled (un)able to string more than a few words toget(her) my center was (mis)taken equilibrium (mis)taken for granted everything not nailed down (mis)taken for scrap my he(art) the part of me tarnished and drained (un)able to force out love’s standard refrain my soul the p(art) of me put up for sell […]

(for)sale

i feel less like a person when i consider putting myself back out into the world looking for love and more like an ad for a used automobile good work vehicle still has most of the original parts local use only high mileage somewhat dependable not the best looking some minor damage but gets the […]

(un)titled he VI

he is wandering in a perpetual state of confusion, hearing voices whispering all the things he has failed flying to the peaks of mania with a million ideas and falling to the depths of depression while abandoning them he is

cardio

i ran for miles to tell her that i love her she ran for miles in desperation to avoid it in the end her heart was healthier mine on the other hand never quite recovered cupid’s arrow pierced my aorta as she took cover i lay bleeding internally and she kept running

(un)titled ode III

the sun is down the sky has rolled out the blanket of velvety black yet here i sit immune unseeing the clouds sit thick air is heavy with potential storms my mind is locked on you what i would do wouldn’t give to sit and laugh with you but i am tongue tied bound and […]

but still

i have good memories of the us that used to live but there are enough bad ones to make them taste sour so i keep the good ones locked away who needs them tainting the day

(un)titled ode II

she sizzles like bacon in a cast iron pan she sputters and spits be careful not to get burnt mostly she doesn’t mean it sometimes the words escape on their own you will know when she does instead of spattering little drops that sting tiny annoyances she will freeze your world solid chattering teeth the […]

(un)titled ode

her smile was like moonlight glinting off of a razor’s edge her fingers like a hangman’s noose around his throat her kisses felt like a sucking chest wound on a winter’s morning she was death he loved her

l(os)t

have you ever stared into your reflection and only seen madness the face that faces out at you a concoction misshapen snarling caricature and you try put in the effort to smile but the simple act has lost all meaning the muscles twitch spasm writhe like a mass of electric eels or tentacles just beneath […]

lessons in hell

learning how to be alone was one lesson in it’s own selfish hell to teach oneself learning to accept it as the new normal was an entirely different hell all together it’s funny in the saddest sobbing laugh because it eases the ache way hell is a decidedly human conceit one dabbed behind the ears […]

twnty tw

abcdfghijkmnpqrstuwxyz i find i us crtain ttrs t much mayb in a dsparat hp thy wi fnd m i’m ging t ignr thm as far as i can s thy ar illusins hps and drams

(un)titled he V

he is lost in a forest of disillusionment where every fallen leaf is a dream still born at his feet searching for the her that exists in his heart and mind not knowing she is poisoned by the places she inhabits he is

event(ually)

it all comes crashing down eventually we build our foundations on sandy soil it only takes one good storm then the walls shift any change inclement patterns develop next thing you know you are on your hands and knees sifting through the remanants wondering where it all went wrong it’s raining here

there was nothing

in the mirror when i woke up this morning i looked twice but my reflection didn’t come into the room luckily i know what i look like so i knew i wasn’t missing much later as i drank coffee i saw him again i liked it better when he was missing

1267

i wrote this poem while sitting in the shadow your absence casts upon the ground if it lacks substance that’s okay the world does too without you in it

inner working

my skin is a road map through pain marked by scars that slowly trace their way through a lifetime of lessons forgotten my blood is kerosene rendered inert under pressure every breath a catalyst designed and intended to ignite my soul an oil spattered stain glass portrait of stained shards pointedly turned within grating with […]

lamentation of a restless soul

need me a dusty trail the stars above guide me to a new tomorrow far from home out on this plain away from pain and sorrow all alone is where i’ll roam to find my heart’s desire at night i’ll sit rest a bit beside the cozy fire the wind she sings that gentle breeze […]

yet another one about love and yearning

i miss it some days more than others the crackle like electrictiy sparking to life a neon tube the thrum of power intangible yet making the hairs on your arm stand it isn’t just because i am alone that i miss it hell i’ve been in the death throes of loves last days and been […]

a lot bloodier

i’ve noticed when the words fall out in the novel the poetry seems more concise i guess i still vomit all over the page but my verbosity my natural tendency seems sharper those days maybe i am just sick of reading myself too much time in my own head seems unhealthy but being in someone […]

but

her heart was sweet like freshly picked flowers but her eyes were open like a freshly dug grave it was hard to reconcile the two but that didn’t stop me from trying so i wasn’t particularly astonished when it didn’t quite work

hell(o)+(good)bye

i’ve always been good at hellos the problem is the ones i’ve loved were always better at good byes maybe if i were slightly worse at beginnings there wouldn’t have been so many catastrophic endings but the heart does what the heart wants and sometimes two different hearts have vastly different desires

there are days

i feel as useful as a rowboat in the desert there are others when i feel perfectly content to be utterly useless i just cannot tell the difference some days between the two i tend to write on either let’s call it a draw

every other

sunday night is the worst night of my life i drop them off return to silence forget what happiness means takes two weeks to adjust to sorrow and silence then i get them again relish the love until every other sunday night strikes again

locket

near empty just a few seeds rattling about inside salted earth beneath toxic clouds above feels like lately all there is left is waiting for the crows to pick away what’s left still got life to live but it is fleeting still got dreams but they are fading an image of you distorted over time […]

knowledge

the crowd gasps applauds but the magician knows the truth behind the tricks sees through the illusion cannot recall the feeling of being amazed jaded in the knowledge so much he has forgotten how to live in the moment and just let go

just south

right at the edge of human limits of belief just beyond sanity normalcy somewhere just south of crazy that is where poetry creation love resides i’m so tired of regular life wanna go insane together

shhh

you’ve said it all no need to mutter more words into the ceaselessly uncaring void now look at you talking to yourself but if you’re honest that is what this always was

a drive

let’s go for a drive i’ll turn the ramones up loud we can blitzkrieg bop down the highway holding hands as joey serenades us into the sunset simple chord progression while we sing along driving until we run out gas we’ll lose ourselves on the open road

1251

at one time i felt important not essential but like maybe i mattered the reality was it was a misplaced misread misinterpreted mistaken feeling in the end i really wasn’t the sunshine fell like rain, but each ray somehow missed him, a perpetual shadow forming around like a cocoon, the warmth of the day missing […]

(un)titled he III

he is trying his damnedest yet always snatching defeat from the snapping jaws of victory a lightning rod standing in the center of the storm drawing every strike to him to protect those he loves he is

(mis)take

i find that sometimes starting the day off with a mistake really puts the whole thing in perspective if it begins with a mistake it really can only get better or worse sort of depends on the mistake but generally i prefer to screw it all up first thing at least you have something to […]

“Ty Segall – I’m A Man”

to my dear sick friend who’s feeling down with the flu soon you’ll feel better there ain’t nothing worse but music can soothe sickness or make you forget hopefully this helps or at least it makes you smile also a haiku

silken

spider webs floating on the breeze tangled silk blowing everywhere can you feel the strands wrap around your face invisible legs scurry all across your skin the breeze is still blowing webs stuck about my beard spiders work is ruined laying eggs across my face

relive vs repeat

if you asked me to make the same mistakes relive the past knowing the outcome i wouldn’t change a thing as monumental as the failures were i did some amazing things made love to beautiful women laughed in wonderful places made memories that pierce the pain so if you asked me to do it all […]

sea of shadows

he wonders as he reads other’s words on love desire need they draw the pictures of the dream lover they seek he sees in this that loneliness is the only lover he shall have they write of running fingers through his hair(he has none) of penetrating blue eyed gaze(his are hazel, brown and green) looking […]

grave(digger)

i held her like a gravedigger clutching a shovel she was rigid and i knew she would leave blisters even on my calloused hands still i held her like a gravedigger clutching a shovel to dig his own grave and i knew deep down six feet part of me would die from holding her but […]

shells

even a hermit crab eventually has to leave his shell in search of a new one a mad dash from one discarded home to another i feel it’s pain my heart was her shell once upon a time now it is just another facade waiting for the tide to sweep it away if you hold […]

old joke

there’s nothing quite as sad as seeing a grown man crying alone on his birthday except i suppose being that man it’s like that old joke something something he will probably die alone

(un)titled he II

he is the sum of all his failures molded into a broken caricature of a functional being a panoramic display of anxiety and misplaced anger blurred into a malaise of discomfort he is

(un)titled he

he is trembling in fear and trepidation as another shattered dream crumbles at his feet drowning as thoughts pour from his open mouth like bats at sunset from a cave he is

some days it seems

it is inevitable living is just a series of ever failing chemical reactions guided by preprogrammed genetic need determined by societal opinion subject to laws of entropy hurtling towards the end rendering all moot but i like coffee and watching the birds flit between the branches so it is not all bad sometimes

rubber duckies

i stay up all night unable to sleep then i use the sun as my pillow miss out on the whole day what in the world happened to me it used to be drinks and drugs and ladies and fun now it is a bunch of melted rubber duckies oozing down the drain