book
i wish i had you to hold. instead. i have a book. i imagine my fingers would do better. along your spine.
Author: m ennenbach
love's willing fool
(un)titled ode XXVIII
she dances like sunrise i am the darkened sky for a moment we are neon pink starbursts entangled upon one another for the world to see
eucalyptus
i once had a job filling the condom and tampon dispensers in bathrooms of bars. it was not as glamorous as it sounds. so believe me when i say, i know a thing or two about a thing or two. i am not just a pretty face that writes poetry. and this has nothing to […]
what happens when i try and force a poem but the universe has other ideas
sitting at the park drinking coffee from a paper cup thinking about the pretty girl that asked me to write a poem about her as i stare at the water trying to figure out what i should write about her i had an idea as i grabbed my phone to scribble it down a squirrel […]
starl(i)ght
my happiness is the light of a star by the time you see it it has been dead millions of years
w(i)sps
do you remember the cold october night holding hands as we sang along to pennywise speeding drunkenly down the highway screaming fuck authority like we were kids again how all i wanted was to be your romeo as you were surely my juliet but that juliet had other plans other than a faked death to […]
(un)titled sorrow X
i feel fancy in a vest and bowtie sitting alone wishing it all would end
(un)titled ode XXVII
she is a comet that races through my mind when it is too quiet a blinding blaze that suffuses me with heavenly radiance when it is too loud which it often is she is a comforter draped across my mind to muffle the voices of doubt and shame
drowning in honey
i don’t trust my mouth or words when the feelings of love begin to take over my brain i will find myself standing outside grinning like a fool at the heavy gray clouds a neighbor will wave and i will smile and shout “she wears magic in her smile like a normal person wears shoes […]
(un)titled image IV
i saw her sitting alone on the bench the wind whipping her hair her dress her floppy hat it brought to mind the koi fish fighting for pellets in the pond at the zoo the bodies flopping on one another in gluttonous frenzy mouths sucking at nothing a mindless sort of spasming
waking
i remember waking up and her mumbling she loves me as i crept from bed now i wake up alone but my day doesn’t begin with a lie it is the little things
we(i)ght
thirty pounds ago my shadow seemed more like a balloon twenty pounds ago my pants fit like they should ten pounds ago i began questioning what i was still doing now i just don’t have the money for food but i look good
(un)titled poet
he was a poet right up until he slipped cracked his head on the toilet bowl now he is just another ghost haunting and haunted in equal measure
ends
it might have been the end of the world or the end of the road or the end of the block who can tell when the wildflowers fill your head her voice fills your skull and nothing else matters at all
1day
every tooth in my mouth is a tombstone to every time the words i love you passed over my fool tongue in error one day i will be less of a fool
unnecessary
i have forgotten how to write poetry the words won’t come just flashes of things feathery soft bits of fluff sharp little teeth tearing sinking into brown eyes i have given up on poetry it’s like love unnecessary
bereft
the overcast skies above me her warm flesh beneath it is a dream i know it but i don’t want to wake rejoin this life of empty hope of failing need of loving in vain yet here i sit sickened and bereft
fa(i)thless
it isn’t a biblical life of suffering i live i am more cocaine and unable than hero my lack of faith is a faith in itself so i will cast lots and play the humble poet crucifying myself in an effort to be less of a hassle for you
sunday tanka
woke up tired and mad napped myself into morose if i keep sleeping will i find myself happy or just slip back into mad
microns
she makes me feel like the line between forever and never is as razor thin as the one between lover and over i straddle each with the grace of a drunken monk
(un)titled thought XXXV
i spent so long staring into the night when the sky brightened morning felt like the end of the world
bea(u)tiful funeral
watching her put on make up with the practiced hand of a mortician seems either way it spells death inside my mind a beautiful funeral
ch(u)rch
she laughed at me when i told her she was my fetish she admired my strength my will my glorious anger my limitless sorrow but she never understood my worship of all things her or what it did to me when she snuffed the candle and took her light away so when she called again […]
s(i)mile
it’s cold and wet like a dog’s nose empty like my mother’s eyes so i paint on a smile like a clown pretending it will be okay
consp(i)racy
i collect the dark thoughts like raven feathers as they are born within my mind i nearly have the whole set when i do i will scatter them about my feet like a secondary shadow. then i shall alight upon my new shadow, high above the depths of this hell, and gaze down in hopes […]
(un)titled thought XXXIV
like an idiot i decided to go for a walk in the cold rain it was miserable i was miserable the whole thing was a mistake when it was over i sat staring out the window wishing it showed a different world bound to this cold earth with no tangible means of escape is a […]
(un)titled me
i am not good with titles or life or being open i am howsoever good at falling madly in love and even better at making it all fall apart
m(i)staken
i fear you heard me tell you i love you. what i meant to say was sure has rained a lot lately let me be your umbrella.
(un)titled need
i don’t want you to make love to me like two star crossed lovers i want you to take me as if i was the only drink of water in an ocean of sand
not much
i don’t have much but i can compare you to the sunrise breaking over the eastern seas or always tell you that you are my favorite shade of anything yet nothing is comparable to you my love
(non)sens(i)cal
she reminded me of a penguin on an escalator i have no idea where that was going but now you can see the penguin on the escalator as well and that is what she reminded me of
(un)titled image III
she was the prettiest girl in her little town she had the world by the balls now she is angry and chain smokes while the same world passes her by sometimes she clenches her fist just to remember the feel
(un)titled ode XXVI
she is the ocean i am the shore she washes over me i lose the jagged pieces they break off and sink into her depths in losing those bits we both become whole
“King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard – Bone”
manic mike’s hurting cluster bombs in my brain stem the acoustic sounds of my favorite aussies all that seems to soothe my head (sorry frenzal rhomb and the living end)
(un)requited II
did you notice how i couldn’t meet your eyes without blushing or how my voice catches when you say my name no probably not you do not know the way i feel and if you did you would spare my feelings and ignore it
man(i)c
the best part about being mentally unstable is the manic episodes the rest pretty much blows but when you can harness it it isn’t so bad
br(i)nk
outside the window in the cool autumn rain they seem to stand just on the other side of tempered glass revving the engines of the unnecessary lawn implements just pulling the throttle in the living room six fans dehumidifier roar like a swarm of angry locusts in a holding pattern my own personal white noise […]
mov(i)e
if this is the movie of my life i hope a plucky young starlet shows up soon and teaches me the meaning of christmas or that the power was inside me the entire time not quite ready for the credits just yet
(un)titled thought XXXIII
this one is scribbled as i prepare coffee for the morning the coffee seems very necessary not sure about this though it will be nice to wake to the caffeinated brown these words maybe sometimes what doesn’t make sense at midnight comes clear at midday
call
hark/ the ravens call/ yet still/ i sleep did they/ truly/ call/ at all ?
(un)titled if
if i ever make it big i am getting a pet llama i say pet but we will really be pals i am going to name him aloysious lleonard ennenbach the third
(un)titled ode XXV
i would be the ring upon your finger the gems around your neck for you are the words within my skull the beating of my heart alas fair lass nature made you dazzling without my feeble touch and made me quite lesser without yours
(un)titled thought XXXII
i am just about done. if i am quiet i apologise. but i cannot do this parody any more.
(un)titled bottom
as it falls apart i thought how much worse can it get that is when the hot water heater tank cracked open
(un)titled thought XXXI
she told me it would get better someday we both know she lies but i appreciate it all the same
abandon
my poem about men being monsters and women laying eggs got me a seven day ban on facebook i saw that and wondered why the day would begin this way then i got an email from my daughter an email i wondered ah they shut my phone off again depression loves little itching my negative […]
j(u)st one
one hello can be worth a dozen goodbyes but one goodbye may be something you never recover from
arduous
talking can be as arduous as watching a tortoise eat a head of lettuce the pace will drive me insane frivolity in exchange of sincerity i would much rather kiss your neck or nibble your collar bone
(un)titled sorrow IX
when i found her i gave up a part of me unfortunately she never gave me a part of her back so i just lost something valuable and gained a measure of sorrow
(un)titled ode XXIV
there is a beauty in the wretched. in the damned. and there is a beauty in you my love. that i will never fully grasp in these sloppy odes.
postmark IV
i sent a letter to my father today. wrote it on the back of a pack of marlboros and placed it in an empty can of beer. just a note of thanks. i have given time and space a lot of thought. i scribbled carefully, john ennenbach father streator illinois two thousand and three. i […]
cr(i)minal
the question he begged the court to answer was simple all of his crimes were self inflicted he was the victim by his own hand so clearly death was only fair the jury of his fears watched solemnly from the mirror no hint on their similar faces
(spring)
spring is the soul of a child the world around awakens to a sense of immortality
(un)titled sorrow VIII
it weighs heavily today a stone wheel slowly grinding me from man to meat from flesh to failing sitting in my skull tap tapping away the many flaws from cracks to crevices bending hope to hopeless obliterates as it alliterates casting dream to dreary i soak in the piss warm waters of wavering wistful wants […]
jumble
tired of being cold alone trapped in this cycle of desire and painfully throbbing desire incapable of finding the secret combination of letters to unlock the puzzle conundrum riddle here is what i have found so far eppvhoialssne the hint says two words without meaning to the poet illiterate
postmark III
i sent a letter to hunter, postmarked today. i folded it up and put it in a pack of dunhills. just a note of thanks. i have given up on bending time and space. but i hope he gets it. i carefully typed on the label hunter s thompson father of gonzo snowy owl creek […]
(un)titled ode XXIII
she is that small window from june 20th to june 21st when spring transitions to summer is there any wonder that the world adores her so
tr(u)ths
when i am dead and long forgotten certain truths will remain i loved (though she never knew it) i lived (though it wasn’t with her) i cried (for the longing i feel for her) and this singular moment right here we shared you and i maybe not at the exact same time but it was […]
(un)titled ode XXII
the world is a treadmill i run and run yet no matter how fast my legs pump how hard my shoes slap the earth beneath i cannot escape how much my every heart beat beats for you
old fri(end)s
she asked me if i fear death i smiled no i said i do it a little every day we are old friends
(un)titled ode XXI
the tissue of my heart has crystalized a rigid structure formed of former flesh her lips are the chisel her eyes the hammer i am dust in her presence my soul is sand between her delicate fingers spilling to the ground under her feet
the case of a confusing world i do not understand
when i have to leave my cave. i have a routine. keys wallet phone pat pockets twice. when i go to sleep. i have a routine. stare at ceiling love to kids love to her. everything else is a mystery. i cannot hope to understand
postmark II
i sent a letter to bukowski, postmarked today. i placed it in an empty wine bottle and set it next to a racing forum on the corner. just a note of thanks. i still haven’t worked out time travel and such. but i hope he gets it. i scribbled on the label charles bukowski struggling […]
format
it is haiku time not sure why, just had an urge now it is over. here is a bonus to explain the last haiku out of syllables. maybe a tanka will give me the chance to say why i chose haiku i like the rigid format i really just wanted to never mind. i love […]
(un)titled thought XXX
men are monsters but easy to figure out sex and attention occasionally woman are scarier they are lovely smell good sweet nurturing and seek to burrow into your heart and lay eggs
(un)titled image II
i saw a photo of two women happily gazing into an oven from the fifties. there was no context or words. whatever it was in there must have been glorious judging by their expressions. it could have been anything. or just an advertisement for ovens. i will never know. but in my head it was […]
(un)titled ode XX
her lips are as red as blood on porcelain her eyes stab me like daggers i cannot stop imagining how good she would taste on my tongue and lips her expression says fuck you mine says i am yours in return
sorr(y)
the anxiety is insufferable lately when i was writing the book i could lose myself and feel a sense of progress purpose now as i begin a new one my confidence is shattered again second guessing my second guesses spinning tires churning out poems for fear of anything else everything else i am sorry everyone […]
differing states
one day i made the decision to move to texas realizing one state of depression looks the same as any other from the bottom of the barrel one day i will leave texas and be depressed somewhere new
w(i)n
she never plays games with me but there are rules which are strictly enforced and i follow them to the letter in hopes her heart is the prize
(un)titled ache
does it ever stop hurting does the ache ever stop or does it stay jammed in the back of the throat forever and ever like the words i never said forever lodged behind the tears that never stop falling
(un)titled ode XIX
i repeat myself for the millionth time in an ode of love to her why does each repetition feel like a fresh declaration a new dedication when the words are still the same.
(un)titled sorrow VII
right at the edge of a break down feet dangling over this cliff barely keeping myself together there has to be an end to this falling in love is a form of suicide impossible without u and i as the sorrow strangles and engulfs me peering into the shadowed abyss
(un)titled sorrow VI
it is cold in here the emptiness seems to compound it wherever you are i hope it is peaceful warm happy that the sun shines down upon you the ravens of sorrow do not mar your view there is a murder of them circling overhead here untouched by the cold
eq(u)at(i)on
mathematically speaking i am less than the sum of my desires a fractured fraction failing common core aestetics divisive multiplied by the power of you i² x u²= i sobbing alone
(un)titled ode XVIII
she carved the outline of a door into my breastbone with her sharpened fingernail. i stared at it and her in a mixture of pain and confusion. she smiled and knocked upon the bloody door. it opened. my heart soared from my chest like an owl from a snowy perch. now it is free to […]
(un)titled sorrow V
i wonder if i am but a storm to you. destined to fall endlessly. and only be a minor inconvenience.
w(i)nter
winter is the soul of lost lovers the virginal snow like the shroud on a corpse
(un)titled truth
if his disabilities were physical maybe he could rise above them instead they drown him
after the kids leave i am left with the knowledge that
i shave my head so when the anxiety hits i cannot rip it out. my arms carry the scars of lighters and blades. my heart has your name carved into the dessicated muscle. some days feel like death on pause. as i desperately hit play. but the batteries have gone dead. lucky bastards.
(un)titled sorrow IV
fell asleep on the couch dreamt of you when i woke the room was empty been trying to fall back asleep since
duty
little spider on the toilet seat illicits quite the scream as she sees it in the middle of the night now she makes me check before she will go pee i am father i know no peace i protect
f(all)
autumn is the soul of a poet hanging from the branches of a gnarled bare tree
(un)titled sorrow III
feel trapped on this carousel. riding the narwhal with a rainbow horn. always right behind her. never gaining. the warped mirrors make it feel like falling behind while staying in the same place. just going up and down in circular logic. too much cotton candy and popcorn. not enough substance.
postmark
i sent a letter to poe, postmarked today in a small urn. i buried it in a shallow grave. just a note of thanks. i am mostly uncertain about the subtle nuances of bending time and space. hope he gets it. on the front i scribbled, e.a. poe throes of depression eighteen thirty six baltimore. […]
(un)titled image II
one day we will make love like a funeral procession under overcast skies with aching joints two skeletons in halloween costumes
writing prompt
https://wolffpoetry.com/writing-prompt-winner-november-24th-2018-centered-acrostic-poem-challenge/ so i saw this writing prompt challenge on Ms. Wolff’s wonderful site for a centered acrostic poem. i wasn’t really in it to win, just wanted to express my thanks to her for featuring me last month. but i did somehow. if you have been here before you know i am not one to […]
c(u)re
they wore long white coats carried clipboards syringes filled with murky green solutions to issues i didn’t know i had but no matter the treatments when i close my eyes i only see you. they cannot cure that i wouldn’t let them if they could.
black, like my heart
open invite to the universe come over for some coffee and cuddles coffee optional you’ll find the cuddles are piping hot i may be slightly bitter nothing your sweetness cannot remedy
(un)titled image
his face was like a weathered headstone there was once meaning etched there long ago now it was just a relic empty.devoid.blank. forgotten
(un)titled ode XVII
she whispers from across the sea across the cosmos across time and i listen.
1422
stop do you hear that for a second the world was still. it sounded like this
pb&j
the heavy shovel head cut me in twain my upper half sought solace my lower half sought hell all the while she sat eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich uninterested in the world.
(in)vite
we met a vampire he was quite shy unpretentious we took him for ice cream he didn’t try any but he stared with big round eyes as it dripped down our hands onto the table we went home and he followed but i guess we forgot to invite him in sometimes i still see him […]
(un)titled ode XVI
the room is on fire smoke fills my lungs eyes burn she is an inferno i so desperately want to be consumed
scraping
scraping up change from the couch to get laundry done robbing peter then paul and any other good natured soul to get some groceries gave up my vices for destituion considering prostitution if things don’t turn around begged the financial institute for a stay of repossession things are bad and getting worse daily the life […]
sa(in)ne
i can’t tell if my poetry is evolving or if i am going insane
rea(within)son
the loneliness can kill you until you remember you are free. if i wanted to i could marry joan of arc. or marilyn monroe. i could do anything i want. i could discover a new continent. a new species of tortoise. be the first man on the moon. anything. within reason.
st(or)ms, or (i miss you), or (she), or (my fault)
she was safety a shelter from the storms that rage inside of me she was church or more likely an asylum with her the demons feared her light the voices stopped the sun still shined hope sprang eternal but she grew tired of the waves of the sea the constant battering the hurricane that is […]
(un)titled ode XV
there is a thin line between sacred scarred and scared. that line runs on intensity thoughts of you make me dance upon it all day long
Mike's Manic Word Depot 