(well)done

he was an attendant at the local sex shop attendant meant he cleaned up the viewing booths after the customer was done refill the lotion dispenser fresh rolls of paper towels he was head custodian at the museum once upon a time he dusted dinosaurs precious jewels but the kid’s college didn’t pay for itself […]

bottles

he collected empty bottles methodically he scrubbed off the labels with a wire brush any paint on them he put them on every open space throughout his home every where you looked were empty vessels he could relate to that pure clean nothing inside if he really looked at them at himself he might see […]

happily miserable

misery loves company a group in which to partake to share spread itself find common soil to break down bedrock become sand happiness loves an escape always searching for a way out before it dissipates when happiness overstays it’s welcome it becomes misery and seeks company again two sides of the same coin life is […]

make love not punishment

allow me to reiterate, the simple lies you regurgitate, the self worth you seek to inflate, in time your truth will slowly disintegrate once upon a time i fell into the net you cast, an innocent beguiled and captured, ate all you fed me and hungered for more empty calories made me fat with no […]

real

falling it is falling in slow motion through infinite black there is a light growing farther away above a speck of white in the endless darkness it is a race between terror induced heart attack or complete mental breakdown all that is sure the faint dot of light is becoming a memory a falsehood all […]

waking

the biggest fear of life is waking from it’s dream or was it a nightmare only the dead can say and they’ve grown quiet so very quiet as of late

royalty

i am king ruling in a land of broken dreams my throne the discarded promises of lives wasted i have nothing but this scepter of need a crown of depression desolation as far as the eye can see but still on bended knee i offer it all to you my queen to banish the pain […]

New News on Notches

We have an official release date! My collection, Notches, will be released into the wild on March 1st! Clearly from the use of two exclamation points, I am super excited. I’ve been told pre-order goes live in a week or so but will update as soon as I know for sure. Remember that if you […]

surr(end)er

she is joy in the heart of a cyclone made of fiery ice defying logic defining love i am helpless in the gale force magnificence that is her but it feels right to surrender either it will be her or the storm in the end it doesn’t matter we all return to dust

(un)romantic

sipping wine and whiskey from paper cups as dinner burns in the oven the gentle refrains of the misfits playing softly white cardboard boxes of takeout from whatever place delivers a horror movie in the dark on the couch followed by a rousing night of my arms wrapped around you your head on my chest […]

vacc(i)ne

thinking of you is like a millipede racing down my spine your presence haunts my sleep like a spider scurrying across my face or a fly buzzing around my ear it’s a sickness this disease called love no inoculation seems to suffice try as they may the doctor’s vaccinations only made me more susceptible or […]

(just a)thought II

i love you more than i love me that’s the reason i am the best you will ever have but never will be enough in the end when all is said and done it is a ravine you will try and fill to no avail until you realize it isn’t worth it i am not […]

Rain II, a love story continued

Rain, a love story Do you remember how it started? I need you to remember how it began. It is raining. It always starts with the raining. Always. I run to the car as the first cold wet drops splat on my bald head. I press the button, hear the door unlock, jump in and […]

closing time

this manic word depot of mine sees visitors but few that ever stop fewer that care to speak it is a lonely place filled with the echoing taint of depression is it healthy giving form to despair shedding one’s soul into silence it is a near zero return upon emotional investment divesting the darkness in […]

(me)taphor(i)cal

her touch was the morning sun on hiroshima awash with radioactive afterglow she is my post nuclear eve splitting adam into isotopical decay my every cellular break down a dropped call a missed mixed message contextually sent undeliverable beyond her comprehensive disinterest

bent

i taped my love to a boomerang sent it flying off into the air in the hopes it would lead someone back to my heart turns out it was just a curved stick as it never came back now i just feel nothing

honest(y)

she asked me, are you afraid to die i sat and stared up at the clouds rolling across the sky for a long time and shrugged, not really you’re awfully brave, she said with a smile i couldn’t look her in the eyes, i just kept staring at the sky she watched me carefully i […]

(just a) thought

they say depression despondency sorrow cause the sufferer to find solace wherever they can sometimes it manifests in taking long showers to feel warmth to make up for the lack of human contact i just ran the hot water out yet still didn’t want to get out seems like psychobabble to me just a thought

bad news

the mirror is shattered like the fool that views you look at me with love but baby i’m bad news the scholars and the madmen, the wretched and the ridiculed, beaten and abused by the ones that should have loved them most, this is not about them though, is it this about the fool himself, […]

pr(i)ce to pay

i sprinkle poison into my coffee as i have grown to crave the taste the gentle reminder of how fleeting this life can be organ failure is a small price to pay to feel alive again all endings begin when the culprit becomes the victim no matter the clever reason the lies spilled from behind […]

(m)or(e)

don’t fall in love with a poet in the end it is the words they love the need may be laid upon you for a time but that fades don’t let the words convince you there is more hidden beneath there isn’t what lies beneath is the cold darkness from which the words are drawn […]

equate

it doesn’t take a semi truck driving full force into the back of my brain for me to take a hint i get it i studied my use of semi like a semi colon establishes equals rank meaning you;i will never be a thing the you will always rank higher to both of us ie […]

museum trip

it all started to cascade like the churning waters of the white rapids when you were a kid that trip why is that in your head indistinct drawings of stick figures and strange beasts, the flickering light of torches wash across the cave wall, the sounds of something primal, stalking, low growling bounced around the […]

Hardly Fair, a preview

This is the prologue to my first novel. I have been hard (hardly) at work on the sequel. Thought it would be fun to share a little. Prologue – The Demon’s Stone Somewhere in the Iranian Desert “Are you in or not Gambler? Make a choice or forfeit the pot,” the strained voice across the […]

no reflection

she asked me what i see when i look at her i told her the truth my every wish and fantasy given form i asked what she saw when she looked at me she smiled i guess she answered a mirror over the years i must have gotten tarnished because she was still the same […]

(you)

you look so good with sin dripping from your bloody lips sex oozing from every pore a hemlock and lust popsicle on a summer afternoon i want to lick every inch of you the angelic disguise a mirage gore me with your horns leave me bleeding out begging for more

forever temporary

even in the freshly fallen snow i will never be able to make my mark on this world i write my signature in invisible ink all my love letters are biodegradable the only ode to forever i could pen would be with skywriting on a blustery day i am temporary in a world of granite […]

(n)ever

i’ll never be your dream come true but you will always be my fondest wish this is something i just have to accept

poetry

poetry will never be the answer it won’t bring her heart closer it is empty devoid poetry doesn’t feed the hungry it doesn’t hold it doesn’t wipe away the longing the need poetry is a dead end a razor edge an out of key symphony in a piss stained alley leading no where poetry is […]

castoreum (hunger strike)

i imagine this sung in a happy rhythm, even if it doesn’t make it better ambergris is whale vomit, but castoreum is secreted by beaver anal glands, perfume from the puke, artificial vanilla from the brown sludge flavors ice cream marshmallows are cow bones, as is j e l l o, while yellow number five […]

the lies i tell myself

i tattoo your visage upon my cornea so beauty infuses my day your name upon my tongue so every word i speak is love even then i am aware of the falsehood inherent in dream the falsehood that makes up my daily routine i love you don’t take it upon yourself to tell me how […]

confessional

i fight being impatient too scared to make the changes necessary they shred my intestinal distress with stress the burden of anxiety of every lie piled like fine china in an earthquake i used to wear mistruth fabrications like a second skin until i was bitten by the same set of fangs that i thought […]

avalanche of ash

i was looking for something i was sure i had written or possibly dreamed but i knew somewhere sometime i had scribbled something so i scrolled and scrolled through my own endless blatherings countless odes piteous screams unrecognizing the words looking at titles first verses searching through hundreds of pedantic pieces looking for the one […]

for edgar

All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream. – Edgar Allen Poe stumbling alone on this muddy path, the pregnant moon the only light, heart racing and labored burning breath i saw something i should not have, a creature feasting, bloody mouth and ragged claws, the personification of death my […]

caramel

her depression tastes like caramel on her lips salted by the stray tear on her cheek when she is sad all i want is to hold her close squeeze until that sorrow infuses me instead yet i taste the caramel on her lips the sticky mess of intangible agony that is her depression longing for […]

silence in the refrain

i moved from illinois to the deepest of deep south away from snow away from bars from all i knew about far from the vacant eyes of lovers gone astray wagging tongues of slander from dear friends i ran away traded one empty for another but never ever did i realize it would turn out […]

angel with dirty feet

she was an angel with dirty feet from a lifetime of walking when she should have soared i longed to touch her wings but i was icarus she the sun so i fell and fell while she shined gloriously in the sky reflected back in my eyes

miss take

she asked why i was sitting at the bar alone her smile said she was just as lonely the rest of the crowd of drunks made me look good in comparison so you can imagine the shady patronage scarred goons drinking to forget i told her the truth i was hoping to get a little […]

hushed darkness

pt I she dances on moonbeams flies upon the thermals like a sparrow dives through the aether like a dream given form pt II the road was laid brick by brick cemented together by blood and lies unevenly paved paid for by tears none who walk alone on this empty road can hope for more […]

another one (drowning)

sinus pressure cluster headache brain infection mental infraction dove into the greenish swirl pain reliever slash sleep enforcer slash truth inducer slash thought refuser now i sit weak and weary wishing i could just think clearly dreams of you run through the fog clock hands twitching broken gear and cog(tickticktick) i am drowning in a […]

dusty

he told me stories about living in a border town sitting in the harsh sun sipping cervezas watching the dark skinned beauties in their multicolored skirts as they walked down the dusty streets around him he made one hundred dollars a month lived like a king arranging trips to send mota across the border hidden […]

unless you asked

i would never hurt you unless you asked then only as much as you desire but if you were a book i would break your spine with the number of times i would read you cover to cover highlighting your secret passages with shaking hands folding the corners of pages for quick access to the […]

cat’s tongue

i would trace my tongue along your every self perceived flaw until you saw they just enhance your perfection calluses would form from kissing away your callous self image until my tongue grew rough as a cat’s still you do not see how beautiful you are when my eyes catch the softest glimmer of your […]

red

the sky turns crimson as an arrow hit the sun shadows turn liquid blood drips across the ozone oceans rage, all becomes red panic strikes below flora wilts in on itself oxygen turns stale photosynthesis no more black mold ingratiation peace fades chaos rules this new reality holds the world goes insane filtered through vermillion […]

carving

i carved the blade from my own rib for her to use sharpened it against the stony disinterest she previously wielded like a blademaster presented it to her hilt first bared my soul so she had no chance of missing yet my eyes still widened in shock as she casually carved her initials then walked […]

fade(away)

let me get lost in you fall deeply into your eyes lose track of minutes to hours to days to weeks let me lose the part of myself that keeps me apart from myself that keeps me apart from you i wish to be lost what better way than to let myself become lost within […]

calcified in you

when i die i want you to take my heart and calcify it then wrap it in every poem i wrote about my feelings for you let it drink in the love i spilled the words drenched in you your beauty of wildflowers in your hair your blood like wine stains upon my lips let […]

to be with you

threading the needle it seems between romantic or misguided every word of it is true still even if this love is unrequited sworn to you my sheer goddess i shall be your personal poet your vengeance and your blade give me one chance to show it i would cut my heart out for you if […]

(un)titled ode to she

she blossoms like a flower in the dead of the night a vision of sublime beauty intoxicating on a subliminal wavelength laying root inside your brain until she is all that remains latching to your reward center your opioid receptors then she is all you need

headache but the truth pains me more

my head hurts just a double bass pounding in my temples with a circular saw behind my eyes so excuse me while i sit in the dark stare up at the ceiling thinking about you knowing you won’t read this if you do i doubt you will know it is you that is the you […]

Super Dick, Issue One

Issue One, The Beginning Begins at the End but the End is just the Beginning! “The city is in chaos and the question upon everyone’s mind is this, Where is The Flying Squirrel? The masked hero has been the unsung protector of Cerulean City for the past ten years. His exploits and his tireless pursuit […]

charcoal sketches

i have started sketching using charcoals for heavy shading the kind that leaves your fingers blackened smudges on your cheeks like a chimney sweep after a long shift a coal miner after sixteen tons each new piece of art using the charred remains of former loves of former lives of former frames of mind to […]

(un)titled tanka II

the words grow quiet or at least i won’t seek them as a waste of time there seems little reason to no one cares if they do speak if i stop writing will the world even notice or sigh in relief as i stop polluting it with odes and refrains of love

(un)requited V

she loved me despite myself she was quite proud of that always pointing out the despite she loved me for who she thought i could become not who i was but future me she loved me for my words the ones that flowed onto the page just for her but when it came to me […]

(un)titled i VI

i speak with the voice of the voiceless heard by deafened ears seen by the blind my portrait painted by quadriplegic artists in comatose reality i am a lession covered leper in the broken heart club the zero sum investment the toothless lion pariah of the pack sinking like a stone into the poisoned waters […]

pearl diving

sitting with my feet up craving whiskey in an effort to stop other cravings the neighbor upstairs just got home his slight frame beguiles his inability to step lightly a knock on the door i refuse to answer it is her the ex her if she can refuse a hint i can refuse her knocking […]

never could

i woke this morning with the dream remains of your kiss upon my lips wispy and tasting of yesterdays long gone cold your name still sat upon my tongue the feel of your fingers entwined with mine lingered like a ghost i cannot escape even if i chose to your memory draped across my skin […]

corazón de oro (my muse)

freshly cut flowers standing in a vase the sounds of vivaldi dancing softly on the air her light steps upon bare feet gliding across the room. flores recién cortadas de pie en un jarrón los sonidos de vivaldi bailando suavemente en el aire sus pasos ligeros con los pies descalzos deslizamiento través de la habitación. […]

dunning-kruger as relating to the fool

my poetry my search for love are actualizations of the dunning-kruger effect my lack of understanding fuels my belief that i can succeed my ignorance breeds confidence i rub lemon juice upon my flaws assuming it makes them invisible all it takes is a simple smile to make me forget the glaring failings the greatest […]

light plays in shadow

pt 1 she stands in front of the window golden light frames her naked body uncaring if a car drives by hits the pole out front again dust motes float in the air as if she stands in a sea of airborne glitter it isn’t clear yet if the sign outside referring to deadly curves […]

if you asked

i don’t wish your lover would die but if he had an accident i wouldn’t be overwrought with sorrow i would never raise a fist in anger but if he truly made a mess i would be on a plane to you by tomorrow call it jealousy or just need but before bed i pray […]

deep down at the bottom

blame my impatience in my utter disdain for the person i was to the one that i am to who i want to be in the not so distant future how do i wait for the next evolution when every bitter tear falling is tainted by lies i desperately need to believe it isn’t as […]

a raven and a roof

the roof on the church had partially collapsed i can only assume it was from the weight of unanswered prayers i have never found myself understanding so profoundly a sentiment more as i sit alone in the cold as if to give an answer a raven took wing launching itself like an ebon dart against […]

tiny anchors

she folded me like a letter she no longer needs to read stuffed me into the back of the drawer with the musty reminders of days gone by i told myself she was saving me for a day when things had changed when i would be important or at least not quite so bittersweet when […]

fell for falling

her love gave me the bends decompression sickness from an escape from the overwhelming pressure of daily life i surfaced from the pit of depression too quickly to see she was a mirage instead of the oasis i first mistook her for i fell for her by falling for what i thought i wanted by […]

out of tune

she smiled like a piano i tried all eighty eight keys but none fit the lock on her heart i tugged the strings all i got was bloodied fingers and the sounds of my own fading soliloquy

a poor fisherman i make

there are plenty of fish in the ocean but where i live is landlocked the only net i seem to cast is poorly made any potential catch swims freely through they told me if you teach a man to fish he eats forever but with jutting ribs and aching belly i sit on the cusp […]

(un)titled ode XXXVII

my dearest though i have never gotten a chance to whisper sweetly into your ear brush my lips across your neck or your throat know that the sun’s rays as they shine upon your skin is a reflection of my love for you every breeze carries the whispered words of devotion from my heart to […]

(un)titled thought LIX

he was an ink blot on the ocean a rorscharch of childhood trauma nebulous tremors anecdotal memories a butterfly with poisoned fangs murderous intent in loving eyes a plastic mask devoid of hope these things are what he was but the question he asked himself in the quiet dark what was he

(un)titled ode XXXVI

she is beautiful like an aria like a field of lilies like a sunrise over the sea she is intangible like lilacs on the breeze like sea foam like the thrum of lightning right before it strikes she is dream fantasy given form divinity given shape love made palpable washing over bare nerves

cold rain

it’s raining it’s cold i wish i were with you even if it were in the rainy cold i can think of a few things we could do to keep our minds off of the weather we could read to each other or watch a scary movie i could watch you out of the corner […]

wrong blood type

she has two small puncture wounds on her neck no reflection in the mirror we only meet at night i have never seen her eat i would be suspicious but it is just nice to be wanted to be paid attention to to feel as if i exist or it was last night i told […]

worse indeed

i wonder if things would have turned out different if i hadn’t been such a sad sack of shit my entire life the whiskey the women the singing the words dating out of my league only acceptable when you factor in the talented tongue also the charming way i spoke how did i fool so […]

pencil sketchings of the ocean

i am just animated carbon and water an ocean given human shape an unsharpened pencil incapable of making beauty you on the other hand are the most spectacularly beautiful thing i have ever seen in hindsight i am the dead sea and you are the bountiful ocean if i ever find a way to sharpen […]

dogs and horses

you cannot teach an old dog new tricks you can lead a horse to water but you cannot make it drink you can close yourself off from the world but you cannot stop the need and you have proven time and again you can take my heart and crush it but you cannot love me […]

(un)titled ode XXXV

every time she smiles a star let’s itself fall from the sky in jealousy when she cries an angel hangs itself from the heavy bough of the cherry tree and when she looks at me my stomach tumbles my hands grow sweaty the world seems brighter

never weres

my mind is a photo album of all the perfect days my dreams are the photo negatives the views beyond the page now they seem crossed as all i have is imprecise rememberings of another time another place the candle burnt away waxy reminiscence now the latest to deem me insignificant other joins the menagerie […]

(un)able

she swears up and down what she feels is love but she has never seen him, never held him, never smelled him, never felt him, never been there when he needed her she is the mist of the sea and he is the shore, tangentially connected at best, everytime they meet, interact, he loses something […]

third and fourth

when she left it felt like lying in a snow bank like lying to everyone it was going to be okay like the pieces of my being were left lying in the broiler as i turned up the heat in hopes they would ooze back together again if absence makes the heart grow fonder silence […]

Annoucement: Issue #1: The Ache of the Pen is Available for Download

https://wolffpoetry.com/annoucement-issue-1-the-ache-of-the-pen-is-available-for-download/ The first case of yours truly being published as a poet. Thanks to Linda for this chance. Grab a copy or twelve. Tell your friends. Have them tell their friends. I can only assume everyone involved is amazing. Follow the link and remember to purchase the chapbook when it comes out. Hell, buy me […]

be(a)st

i had hoped by staying in my cell the transformation would not occur wrapped in chains of pure silver away from prying eyes temptations of the sweetest variety alone with the beast that lies within pain is momentary but the memory iself that lasts your entire life i could never rectify the two halves of […]