she asked
why i was sitting
at the bar
alone
her smile said
she was just as lonely
the rest of the crowd
of drunks
made me look good
in comparison
so you can imagine
the shady patronage
scarred goons
drinking
to forget

i told her the truth

i was hoping
to get a little closer to myself
that the drink
made the words
seem less off putting
that a drunk
can scream to the skies
that he is in love
with a woman
that wants
nothing to do with him
and the world
just shakes
it’s collective head in disgust
but
a sober man
can’t be hopelessly in love
without seeming to be
the pitiable fool

she smiled
said i could be
mister right
but we both knew
she meant right now
while the lights were dim
the alcohol flowed
the music was loud
and
she
was desperate

rubbing her legs together
like a cricket
running a finger
down my stubbled cheek
trying to see
if there was more
behind my cloudy eyes
we both knew
there was less
so she plied her craft
by gripping my knee
then
running that same finger
along my inner thigh
until i grabbed her wrist
shaking my head
no

she didn’t care
that i wasn’t that guy any longer
that this dance ended
with one of us
being let down
the other
being put down
neither quite happy
with the way
it turns out

sure the sex would be good
my fingers
could turn magic tricks
make her forget
being lonely
i was sure
for ten or fifteen minutes
we could both pretend
the world
wasn’t so empty
so devoid of meaning
but what after
just awkward excuses
pretense at making calls
neither would actually dial
texts never sent
wondering if it was the other
or just ourselves

she made a pouty face
swished her hips
to let me know
what i was missing
and left

i am definitely
mister wrong
while she
she was
miss take