i fight being
impatient
too scared
to make
the changes
necessary
they shred
my intestinal distress
with stress
the burden of anxiety
of every lie piled
like fine china
in an earthquake
i used to wear
mistruth
fabrications
like a second skin
until i was bitten
by the same set of fangs
that i thought
were mine alone
like believing
that someone
would ever
could ever
love me
as much as i love them
knowing
that i am not worth half
of the investment
of intimacy
as it sit
on this bench
in the cold
composing odes
to talk around
my love for you
lips quivering
as guts clench
they think
i cannot see
their stares
as they jog
along the path
in front of me
the bewilderment
as i sound out
the words
i have shed
like fat droplets of blood
onto the screen
seeking the hidden currents
to make them flow
to your lovely ears
how i would
nibble those lobes
as my words
saturate
your frontal lobe
my scent
fills your nose
my fingertips
brushing lightly
to make you shiver
as chills
sweep through you