the fear

the fear that i have cut myself so many times tearing off rancid bits and screaming in to the aether in lowercase has left me too scarred to strike a vein all that will remain of the foolish stain will be a dessicated corpse with an empty birdcage where his heart once hung itself. no […]

elect(rocution)

tension fills the air the streets are empty save for a few brave souls willing to face the day in their eyes fear lies deeply rooted no matter who wins the general feeling is we have all lost so much already pandemically paralyzed trapped masked kennelled afraid of where the road goes next as all […]

the void,whispers

i have no issue with my compulsion to pick scabs to draw with the bodily fluids of near despair. every day i shed bits of myself to sprinkle like dander across an otherwise pleasant day of nonsensical meanderings. but under the sudden onslaught of too many eyes. strange orbs that twitch towards me like those […]

tonguebile

words slash from tongues like blades flaying the skin from innocent fools traipsing along the road to ruin peeled with angry intent like the flesh of rotting fruit in a dish on the table of incontinence the hoarse cries of those who lost their voices wailing for salvation on the precipice of sundered hope begone […]

hall of mirrors

the constant pounding the ringing the chorus of demons singing screaming dreaming this illusionary sense of peace of pieces of shattered mirror inserted just inside my cornea to reflect the misdeeds of missing deeds to lands of milk and honeyed lies her thighs her eyes the flies so thick on the unconcealed blood spread across […]

who are you

this skin feels like it belongs to another itchy off putting a costume rendition of another being carefully placed over an all consuming ball of doubt this face stares back through shattered glass to reflect a thousand broken images ranging through a rainbow of insipid lies in the guise of emotional incongruence i speak his […]

five too many

of the four hells birth:childhood:adult:death none trickles with fear quite as adeptly as the realization space is not around us but consumes us from within mulberries fresh with writhing maggots hang fat on the dessicated branch of truth yet the kid plays his guitar on the radio with no concept of the weeping mother with […]

wolves

he couldn’t tell if the world was outside his door or if it was a wolf lurking in the night he figured out the secret to the maze was to run headlong into every wall to make his own trail to the center of the illusion he didn’t know if the howling was the wind […]

got a light

the wind suddenly died down it had been a howling hell beast for the last couple hours now that it stopped it was eerie how quiet everything went silent i have seen enough horror movies to know this is probably a portent of something horrible so i casually got up and reached to lock the […]

watching

i felt the eyes upon me as i walked like a prickle on the back of my neck making the hairs stand i could sense something with a tremendous hunger staring me down it was all i could do not to release my bladder and run screaming but i maintained my outward calm like a […]

flashes

flashes of light, blinding, disconcerting they run in the shadows the tapping of claws across the floor don’t be scared shh your panic draws them the scent of fear in the air an intoxicating musk what was that probably nothing the lights messing with your pupils making it hard to focus it sounds closer closer […]

scratching

there is a scratching right outside my door grating across the wooden frame as i drift to sleep i hear it growing louder frantic desperate i lay still holding my breath hoping it goes away hoping it is a dream fantasy over active imagination it’s happened three nights in a row this constant noise this […]

More News

https://www.theboldmom.com/notches-by-m-ennenbach/ The wonderful TheBoldMom just posted about Notches being up for digital copy pre-orders. She runs an awesome site and cares about pushing literature. Getting Personal with Mike Ennenbach This is an interview I did with Becky, the co-host of Deadmans Tome podcast. I will also be on the podcast again March 6th. This time more […]

manadillo

the weight of the world crushes down, anxiousness ebbs from the core of my being, compressing, collapsing, a man sized crater all that remains i yearn to become an armadillo halfway there as is a leprous thing, tainting all that come near, eyes glowing in the night, reflecting a light not inherent inside curling into […]

confessional

i fight being impatient too scared to make the changes necessary they shred my intestinal distress with stress the burden of anxiety of every lie piled like fine china in an earthquake i used to wear mistruth fabrications like a second skin until i was bitten by the same set of fangs that i thought […]

cha(i)nge

the songs of the words has changed again this time i care not for the hymnal skating the thawing rink of desolation surrender seems inevitable angst is a candle burning the rope holding damocles sword this causeway of pits and pendulums growing ever closer ever whispering ever screaming silently into the emptiness of night fear […]

l(os)t

have you ever stared into your reflection and only seen madness the face that faces out at you a concoction misshapen snarling caricature and you try put in the effort to smile but the simple act has lost all meaning the muscles twitch spasm writhe like a mass of electric eels or tentacles just beneath […]

fear(alone)

instead of being alone perhaps out of fear of it i was willing to change aspects of myself to better suit or maybe camouflage the parts i despise but is it better to be with someone in another guise than to be alone as myself that is the quandry no one has all the answers […]

whatever it is

he starts the car, turns the stereo up too loud for the early morning, puts it into gear and heads down the road with no destination consciously in mind one day he will find that which he searches for, even if he doesn’t know quite what that is, the specificity is secondary to the road […]

with fins circling in the distance

i dreamt and in that dream i dreamt we were on the beach in front of crystal blue water and on that beach in front of crystal blue water we fed each other dates and pointed at the fins moving about in the distance stomachs full of dates and pointing at the fins moving about […]

lunar lunacy

the moon was lined up perfectly between the buildings that rise into the sky beside me reflecting off of the tapping buildings in either side it cast three pale orbs i stared at it and felt the as if entire world was off three moons affecting the tides pushing down on me while calling out […]

loss for words

when they said the phone was for me i felt the cold hand of dread tickle down my spine no one ever called for me at work and if they did they certainly never asked by real name the last time it happened it was the police they wanted to ask questions about a destroyed […]

dream catcher

she bought me a dream catcher to hang over the bed the bed she laid in with me it was her going away present to me i didn’t know she was taking a trip so i hung it over the head board right above where she used to grab and shake it until it seemed […]

red cars

every car in the road was red at first i didn’t notice did i wake up this morning or is this a simulation am i in bed curled up next to her sleeping peacefully sated after a night of lovemaking and writing not on site at a job i hate already coated in sweat why […]

let’s play a game

hey what are you asleep i think so let’s play a game at first i thought the game was about how long you can hold your breath don’t breathe don’t make a sound seeing spots and feeling dizzy the room is filled with poison my cheeks are ballooned up with stale gas then it dawned […]

devolve

we live in an era of de-evolution for every great stride forward with technology our dependency upon it grows,without even noticing we are losing basic functions need directions, use your phone, need instructions, internet, feeling sick it’s cancer, it’s always cancer using a map, the dewey decimal system, experiencing life there is an app for […]

Nyx

as told to me by Orpheus after a night of wine and song all praise be to almighty Nyx, for she is the beautiful goddess of night, one of the first of the many gods to take form from the fabric of being listen to her augeries, chanted and sprung to life in her adyton […]

phobos, words

agoraphobia is a fear of open places, trypophobia is a fear of holes, basophobia is the fear of falling i don’t have to deal with them but i know they are real i suffer from sedatephobia the fear of silence nothing screams as loudly as a quiet room i will go days without speaking not […]

beach, words

we were lying on the beach watching the waves roll in the sun had already done a number on us despite the number of times i got rub your back, your legs, under the blanket can never be too safe you giggled when i said that never said stop as the gulls circled above and […]

bed, words

bloody fingerprints on the window pane copper fills the air i can smell decay on the light breeze panic sets in but paralysis has taken hold of my body only my eyes can move cannot breathe see a glint of moonlight on metal feel the coolness of steel upon my throat i cannot scream pins […]

walls, words

can anybody hear me am i silently screaming into the void sound proof dampeners placed on my vocal chords it is futile bashing my fists against the walls, bloody knuckles and broken bones frustrated over a lack of understanding running in place, not making progress going nowhere at full speed i see the red dot […]

Winkle and the Six Year Silence, a tale

My life has been a series of misadventures and misunderstandings. If there is a way for things to become fucked up and wrong I witnessed it from the very first breath. I seemed to always find myself in the middle of a cyclone of unfortunate happenings. I was born different. From my first moments it […]