agoraphobia is a fear of open places, trypophobia is a fear of holes, basophobia is the fear of falling

i don’t have to deal with them but i know they are real

i suffer from sedatephobia

the fear of silence

nothing screams as loudly as a quiet room

i will go days without speaking

not out of anthropophobia, the fear of people

more out of autophobia, the fear of abandonment when they hear my thoughts

possibly aphenphosmphobia the fear of intimacy which always leads to aytichphobia which is a fear of failure

because the intimacy turns to failure which turns to abandonment

maybe athazagoraphobia

the fear of being forgotten

so many phobias, so little time

so i have developed my flight response from agliophobia

my fear of pain

my chronophobia of the future spent alone because after being beaten so badly my gynophobia has taken over

i don’t fear women, not really

they just don’t seem to like me very much, michaelphobia i suppose

or the wrong ones really like me and the ones i pursue don’t have the time or want for my attentions

i don’t fear death, thanatophobia, not really it is just nature taking course

i have insomnia not somniphobia, though i wonder how far apart they lie

as i lay here in this pitch dark room surrounded by silence, in need of a talk

my fears become real, not intangible constructs of pseudo science but living breathing things

i am alone with my thoughts, with this terrible pressure, three points in conjunction

and i realize i will more than likely die alone

with naught but the silence to witness my passing

maybe i can turn my sedatephobia into sedatephilia

embrace her, learn to love her for her many splendored joys, caress her contours and make her reveal her hidden secrets

i have nothing but time

maybe i can make her mine