still the squirrels chitter

it’s late yet your threats of bodily harm still echo in my mind it isn’t often someone announces the pleasure they would take in stabbing me i just don’t really know how to handle it i hope you are well you’ll have to forgive me but i shall cower over here still the squirrels chitter […]

missing you

it was like a stack of pancakes drizzled with real maple syrup a pat of butter running down the side with the face of a sad clown in the nooks and crannies that made the whole thing taste like batteries thats what sitting alone on the couch missing you is like a wilted flower hanging […]

strands

she leaned forward to kiss me there was motion in her hair a spider scampered along her scalp through the forest of black strands she smiled she never harmed a soul just to be safe i refused the kiss and went on my way

gap

i find myself sitting perfectly ensconced in the gap between two stars in the nighttime of another fetid dreamsliver i imagine i appear as a wraith to any passerby as i tap my fingers on my thigh it wouldn’t make sense to them the light doesn’t actively ignore them and they cannot hear joey ramone […]

being a poet, pt I

being a poet is similar to having a heart attack on the toilet when your family discovers this factoid they leave it out of polite conversation oh yes, he was a writer or oh yes, his heart just gave out there is just no easy way to explain it

calf cramp

loving her was like a calf cramp at three in the morning long after it was over there was a fear of moving the wrong way only to reignite the pain

pavlov’s tongue

sweetness spills from between her legs like honey dripping from the comb a sheen of sweat gives her erect nipples a taste of salt she coats my tongue so perfectly i have a pavlovian twinge when she walks by

see you next fall

i wasn’t pushed down the elevator shaft i let myself fall sometimes the darkness is all that is there to comfort you sometimes it takes plummeting to a certain death to see the world for what it is the impending anxiety whispers softly it is all you can do to take that step

in a glass

she frowned like a flag draped over a coffin when she smiled her teeth looked like tombstones she had three sons two of which were spread out across the sands the third was twitchy and inherited her mouth when she died her teeth floated in a glass on the bedside table

in shame

one day the aquarium will be filled with plastic while the ocean is set aflame we will go to the museum wearing blinders averting our eyes from the dinosaurs in shame

afterimage

death is a park bench on another muggy morning as the sky erupts with the fire in your eyes all that is left of me is a puddle of regret congealing in the frigid wind of your absence you:above hiroshima me:the crater after we both know how that feels you freefalling me going about my […]

city mouse

the miles tick by nothing but trees along the roadside no buildings of concrete glass and steel i feel as lost in the countryside as i do surrounded by millions in the city

spun around

help is never as abundant as when you don’t need it but i will be damned if the second you do there isn’t just tumbleweeds rolling across the barren land worry comes in the quiet moments between crisis when everything seems to be okay for the first time in a long time to piss on […]

right now

right now as i lay in bed the fan blowing across my skin the windows blocked to keep the cantankerous sun peeking in at dawn the soft sheets under me the ceiling staring down oppressively the clouds thick from the tropical storm to the south the taste of cherries on my lips the howling dogs […]

old man hank laughing at the fool

hank had the race track to fall back on even if he had shit luck he had the redhead fried chicken debussy on the stereo wine in a glass a cigarette clenched between often angry lips he quit the post office to follow his dream of being a poet seems you could do that kind […]

matches

i always carry a book of matches with me in my back pocket in case the signal is given the riot begins the sins of the fathers lay the new way for the generations to come i always take notes on the world around me scribbled in lines of pedantic prose to remind myself of […]

laughing all the way to the crematorium

we used to play poker while drinking vodka stolen from our parents like we were big shots without a care in the world we would ride bikes shoplift lunch to eat while smoking cigarettes yelling at the old people that shook their fists in anger poor kids with no aspirations other than to not be […]

blinking out one by one

the moon gives no answers the stars died long before we saw their light yet every time i look up a sense of wonder fills me in all the burnt out glory one day the constellations will take new shape the north star will be a wives tale no one will believe us when they […]

burn in hell

to hell with you your tarsoaked innuendo visceral leanings with indecent scripture covered in the grime of too many back alley dealings in the form of hypodermic wherewithal burn in hell with all the other quasi-humanoid fiends that suckle on the teat of tomorrow while ravaging the days gone in a pathetic gasp at commonality […]

ten eyes

she has too many eyes staring from her too small face as she glares at me across the pond hatefilled spite shoots from the too many orbs something slithers just beneath the surface of the water that lizard part of my brain screams to run but rooted feet pay no need to terror yet part […]

a spade, a ladle and too much time

he sits on the shore watching the waves roll in amazed at the pull of the moon on the oceanic tide he digs at the soft dirt with a spade shaped like a heart gripped tightly in his callused hands a small hole becomes a pit becomes a trench as he slowly moves down the […]

paralytic

her gaze was a paralytic poison across my feeble resistance cannot feel my still heartbeat as it spasms in my skull i am nothing without you but we both know i was nothing before you either just another statue in the emptiness of a fenced cemetery

a view of cypress

she cast her gaze upon the cypress the letter clutched tightly in her hand the setting sun drifting to sleep in lazy pink across the encroaching night sky somewhere out there he lies moribund surrounded by strange faces alone while a part of her is dying inside just as surely as the insect chorus plays […]

forlorn

does the tree dream of being cut down turned into paper for another insipid poet does the wildflower dream of being trampled by steamrollers to be made into a road does the dreamer dream of waking up to a world where nothing is like they dreamt i don’t know a half bottle of vodka an […]

direction(less)

call off the dogs frothing snarling beasts sheathe the blades hidden under pink tongues running through mudpuddles in mismatched socks as the bite of the whip finds fresh skin to furrow this labyrinth is one straight hall leading ever forward into the loss of direction as the magnetic compass spins furtively

creation(emptiness)

and behold the icy grasp of death burrowing further down into the soul of art of word of expression hear the death rattle of purity in every faded verse as insincerity lifts it’s bloody muzzle from the corpse of poetic nuance yet on the stillborn hands of shaky wordsmiths lay claim to title of bard […]

autumnal tanka

another refrain written in bittersweet ink of summer’s demise penned by quill of anxious doubt held tightly by fall’s firm grip

lovespurs

her ivory teeth gnawed the bones of past heartshatter with a ferocity that blurred insanity and obsession hollow crunches with marrow flavored lies filled the dingy room with the pungent odor of bitter lovespurs like a thick malaise

pressure

the pressure builds up inside like a steam pipe in a victorian manor a rupture in waiting inflating on a sense of doomy dismay

peace in our time

they keep their eyes closed for fear of going blind their ears blocked for fear of hearing truth yet let their tongues flap like flags in the breeze spilling opinion as if they understand what they refuse to comprehend and we let them lead with our shoulders hunched deaf dumb and blind with no willingness […]

golem

the sound of an anemic necrorhythm cast out from the dessicated remains of a leper’s soul draped in the cadaverous heartbeat of solemn drought the organ haunts the bloodspectre of reminscence the tock ticks as brass gears bind against the coppertinge of sweet regret a golem of bone staggers across the uneven heaving shadow of […]

the stars

she hung the stars carefully in the sky as ebony absorbed the azure an atypical zeitgeist brought on by an unerring sense of order in the chaos above

strength in a tired smile

you would think she was ready to flee with those heavily packed bags under her swollen eyes you would think she could stop the tears that danced in her vision like a perpetual mist yet she kept moving forward with the weight of the world dragging doggedly behind her every step say what you will […]

ride

ride me as if the world is frothing rapids and i am the last seaworthy vessel afloat let the bastards watch in envy as the riptides slowly pull them under

la luna distaccata

he stood naked in the tall grass firing shots at the moon while growling about unrequited love it was not nearly the stretch it should have been between my disbelief and my total understanding the brass fell hot to the ground while the goddamned moon just hung in the sky fat and aloof part of […]

either way

the church bells toll clear across the empty night assuring another day will dawn or the end of everything as we know it either way it is calming to know as one or the other befalls us it echos through the warm summer air

[(un)titled]

hack away on lungshit dayspasm take comfort in the absent rays of ultraviolent light filtered through tenebrae huddle deeper into the shadow of forgotten shame

obsidian gaze

in the congealing bloodblack of evening the wretched roost in rapture a squawk of pain erupts like a geyser of flame from the slit throat of the rooster day is not certain in the spiralling maw of hunger beset by the gaping orb of madness a fox in the henhouse of idiosyncratic indecency mislabled joy […]

from stray dreams of demons

has thou pierced the veil of light soluble vision permeating the perennial vestige of sinladen disbelief the fair maiden throws scraps for the knights to battle over like a handkerchief drenched in perfume a beam of light like a spear thrust into the breast of man from on high with devilish intent the stench of […]

scant

the rabid beasts dance intricate waltzes across the fleshy floor of insomniac brainspatter greengray pus pours like the angry tears of virgin whores to stain the pristine pillowcases of one last fling in tartarus scant the whispered sighs of last goodbyes that haunt the cathedral of her heartprison

sirens mean nothing to the willfully deaf

she penned her intials onto the anchor fastened around my neck wondering why her sudden absence dragged me under with blue lips and wrinkled fingers. we both knew she would be the death of me or of some facet at least but the joy she got in that knowledge should have been a warning. maybe […]

haze

she wrapped chains around my torso forged in the flames of hell to bring forth the lights of heaven tossed me down the well long dried up due to drought conditions in the arid wilderness i must be hellbound because the wings on my back were blackened by promises of love ever lasting that i […]

lost

lost in thought in traffic on the winding streets of another insignificant town in another sprawling metroplex surrounded by others just as lost as me

9.12

running through the briars as the world burns to a cinder two steps behind of lust of rage of anger of desire the needle pierces the cornea of cataract collusion the blind men point in various directions leading down paths fraught with peril still running as the flames lick bare heels the plants scream unheard

bartering for berries

seething, she draws the knife from the small of her back and prowls across the rooftop like a crazed cat on a mission to cause havok, all the while smiling with sharpened teeth like the mouth of a shark with nose full of blood and jet black marbles for eyes a catatonic ambulance driver with […]

of spotlights and line dancing

i exist in the shadow your spotlight of beauty casts down upon another dreary day in purgatory a shimmering effervescent sheen on the cardiac arrested development of spatial anthems in binary ten thousand kazoos paying an homage to pioneers of black metal while pantomiming line dances for the blind everywhere you step the world glistens […]

the last tree

the last tree in the city stands defiant in the embrace of concrete and poisonous smog a lone green beacon in a desolation of gray arms raised on high to a burning orb that expands exponentially in a nuclear embrace of insatiable hunger

of sorrow’s virgin lips (sorrows pt IV)

a rivulet of blood down the pale earlobe doth run a sinuous stream of hemoglobin lush in copper scented wishfulness to pool on the collar of inadvertent misery her eyes meet mine across time across space yet no recognition frames the vacant stares artificial gravity beguiles the broken another inkstained demagogue draped in lacey reminders […]

solemn wind (sorrows pt III)

there is a breeze unfelt by human skin unkempt by nature’s law it sings of storms unfulfilled whispering dreamily through the nettles of another sullen sunset sun baked earth sighs contentedly into the morning light unheard by human ear untamed by breathless devotion lost in the breeze

where ravens sing (sorrows pt II)

there is a cyst on the ganglia of dreamspit’s wasted youth dally forth on nightterror dally forth as the womb of soft goodbye dematerializes into heartdust dally forth on straightrazor dally forth a bucket of freshly plucked painfruit precariously sways onward deathsteed dally forth onward, on to dusk where ravens sing for pittance

on embers of serendipity (sorrows pt I)

she daintily crushed my hopes out like a cigarette butt they smoldered slightly wisps of burning dream dancing on the breeze innocuously drifting across the barren desert of the soul i smiled sadly as she walked away hips swaying pendulously the cry of tomorrow faded into today as she vanished from view on embers of […]

kisses

she slowly peeled the skin off of her face until bare muscle shined wetly in the moonlight with a grin she let the rain run freely in a pink froth down her bare chest it was more than my wallet or sanity could afford but in the darkness she blows me blood specked kisses

five too many

of the four hells birth:childhood:adult:death none trickles with fear quite as adeptly as the realization space is not around us but consumes us from within mulberries fresh with writhing maggots hang fat on the dessicated branch of truth yet the kid plays his guitar on the radio with no concept of the weeping mother with […]

a tragedy of whimsy

lightning curls it’s forked tongue around grayclouds of misfortune’s sigh a death by small cuts; as i casually spit into the open sore of memory with callused lobes scarred by coathanger whimsy; sing to me of sweetness while bile clogs the throat of joy; a lovesong driven like a nail into the soft belly of […]

of anguished lullabys

in vincent’s madness he severed his ear in mine i offered my soul he let his sorrow dapple the canvas i left the best part of me staining the sheets by brush, by pen for artful disregard of anguished lullabys

9.9.19

plastic bags and maxi pads and the sound of heart strings being severed. howls of the wolf and the opposite of truth now is not the time for being clever. dancing prancing gallivanting to a song so soft it is silken. while fever dreams and radioactive beams cause pulse rates to quicken. to thicken. an […]

ashen

revel in the misery of former dotted vistas now reduced to ashy monoliths of inconsequence softly scale the scabbed over wounds of salient sentience in search for sanity in sequential sonnets unravel the tangled nests of neolithic nonbelief while capturing the clumsy grace of hope ripped asunder onward ho in search of the last bastion […]

cries

under the roots of trees of verbosity dipping low into the worldblood to stain the seas of empty dream her fingers trail off the side of the boat into the rusty hued waters in her wake the cries of ravens echo off the empty sky to send shivers into the aether of loss

darkness

she said, you are more than the sum of you darkness i smiled in the shadows we danced nude among the absence, revelling in the feel of the cold upon our bodies her sin dripped like honey as her lips traced the devil deep in my hunger her limbs shook in the throes of pleasure […]

on writing

it’s dark in here but as the spark strikes the fuse flares into action a white star racing across the floor under the chair up over the coffee table leaving an afterglow of char on the carpet i lean forward seeing the pile of dynamite resting haphazardly against the door time slows as the small […]

haunted by summer

the sunlight is broken into bitter rays of blinding heat thrust forth by an angry sun that seeks to fry the world into shriveled strips of blackened waste a jilted lover staring down from the clouds all winter long the cries for her embrace were lamented by shivering masses yearning to be warm yet as […]

faces

he sits fully dressed ready to conquer the outside world yet in a fog of unwillingness to face the day routinely following a routine of self doubt anxiety utter gobshite dancing in his mind he needs the groceries he has put off getting for days yet the world is so big filled with others so […]

she does

she works twelve hours a day comes home to work until she finally can pass out for the night she is every woman every mother every sister every wife taken for granted taken advantage of taken then forgotten yet still she smiles the strength it takes to pull the corners of her mouth up is […]

hurricane hysteria hiatus (for Kenzie)

a return to normal meth addicted crocs the mysterious florida man lighting trailer parks on fire attempted assault in a unicorn onesie while running naked from the police drunk and disorderly the order of the day it takes a hurricane hysteria hiatus to remind you of the insanity inherent in peninsular life storm doors lizard […]

heron

my mind gets away from me at times too many thoughts fears anxieties race full throttle when it gets to be too much i feel myself crumbling under the weight of my own doubts i see a heron today as i was driving my head screaming i looked up saw it gliding effortlessly across the […]

the last cigarette machine in dallas

the last cigarette machine in dallas left to rust in the back of a nautical themed bar on the edge of deep ellum a marlin with a tennis ball affixed to it’s sword point hangs down over the table a remnant of an assumed tragic accident laughter fills the near empty room of geriatrics sipping […]

destitute

resistant to change irrelevant in the grand scheme the vestibule for the venting fool lies on the river’s edge ranting to the ravens that circle overhead the poor man’s poor man sits destitute once again

old flame

she was an old flame by that i mean seeing her tasted of ashes on my tongue as i sidestepped the charred circle of stone on the floor between myself and freedom she was an old flame now just the blackened bits of someone i used to know coal to stoke another fire indistinct like […]

absent space

fever sweats beneath crushing despair of disrepair in the cybernetic dystopia of heartache missing signals shot from satellite dishes of rusty regrets into the absent longing lying between the stars

shambles

the fleshsuit lies slumped on the couch thin lines of spittle trail from flaccid lips the stench of hopeshatter fills the room in a heavy malaise lazy hazy crippled inside heartblood pools of love denied vacant stares face ever up a fat horsefly rests upon retinal dismay no twitch a lack of bodyshiver in the […]

disembogue

disembogue the tangled limbs of tree branches fighting for a glimpse at the sky the canopy is fraught with struggle in imperceptible motion crimson wax drips down the perfumed envelope of unexpounded detritus to pool around the signet stamp of disapproval made with shaking hand a prayer a whisper to disembogue the fettered to unfettered […]

vacuum

live in a vacuum need to vacuum the crumbs of a better life litter the carpet the lack of ambition of air an embolism of doubt of need the room is cluttered with memories the dirt devil sits listening to the angel on his shoulder but the words come out soundlessly in the space between […]

mannequin mannerisms

i move in the seconds the aperture closes so to anyone viewing i stay rooted in the same place no trace of motion left to befuddle the brains of scientists centuries from now i only smile in the dark after the flash goes off no hints of what lurks behind the vacant eyes staring back […]

mornings

the sunlight sneaks through the blinds plays in columns through the smokey haze bars of white trying to disinfect the darkness he grumbles under his breath rocks himself into a sitting position gets up on wobbly knees still feeling the affect of too much too much the night before the light seems to burn it’s […]

create

i make a poor carpenter as wood rots beneath pestilent digits unfit for labor i make a poor architect as burning bridges comes second nature a poor sculptor unable to bring the clay to life like a greek god in mythology no sense of color so paints are just so many jars of incompetence with […]

summit

i am pedalling uphill as the slope inclines with every strained cycle of the gears worn down from pushing onward from pushing upward gravity pulls me like the grip of an overprotective parent i am aware there is no going back but moving forward is a struggle against exhaustion against will mind over matter just […]

Hunger on the Chisholm Trail, coming soon

Back in March I was headed home from training in Atlanta, much the same as last night. I got a message from PC3, one of the owners of Death’s Head Press. He wondered if I would be interested in writing a horror western for a series of novellas. I froze. Immediately, I said no because […]

be careful what you wish

and there the fool lays finally home finally back in the one fortress of solitude after so long away the tortoise ripped from the shell to find a bucket to hide in from the rain. and there the fool lays unable to find a position to grasp onto sleep he so desperately seeks in the […]

storms

lightning in the sky flashing just over the wing of the plane stabbing across the sky in jagged arcs dancing as dallas comes into view the savage beauty of voltage flaring at the same height as the cityscape comes into view through the misty haze of heavy clouds i cannot see my apartment from up […]

two bleaks

two weeks culminating in a frantic five hours of testing of practicals of sitting in traffic of standing in security of waiting for the flight to board in three hours i will be farther from you in a place that is homeless without your presence two weeks culminating in depression in loneliness in heading to […]

last morning checkout

one headphone in i against i by bad brains playing loudly in my head careless whisper playing in the hotel lobby there feels like a certain fitting theme to this on the final day of training before flying back to dusty dallas a placid giraffe on my shirt slip on vans comfy basketball shorts for […]

bitter black memories

no matter how much money you make how many acres you own the pile of corpses left behind still catch the eye drill for oil for natural gas mine for ore for diamonds take take take take take all we leave behind is the corpse of the only thing sustaining us in the vast emptiness […]

second to last day

missing mitochondria make missing home a hypochondriac nightmare homesick homespun home made hopeless hellstrings leading back to tattered wellsprings of winsome wonder so tired of the same four walls that aren’t the same four walls of a bed and breakfast prison of someone else’s idea of comfort the mitochondria are missing in a pool of […]

hellevator

there was blood pooled at the edge of the elevator door i pressed the button hoping against hope a different car would answer as the lights flickered above the stench of copper buzzing of flies loud too loud filling my skull coating my tongue the bell sounds it is hell the hellevator i chuckle as […]

early morning crisis

oscillating between moments of serene fancy and fanciful sinking into the sloughing swamps of sorrow torn apart in the midst of creative inspiration and existential devastation to drown slowly damn the rivers the torpedos the ever melting ice shelf he sits at the beach hoping the oceans rise to sweep him away

subvocal silence

he was an unreticent disbeliever a vocal minority in the subvocal hymnals that made him null he swung by his neck in the hot summer breeze from the uplifting branches of the downcast trees let the crows feast as the crowds stand watching in horrified curiosity at another light snuffed by the grinding of gears […]

reflection/rejection

i find in my numbed movements i am far more likely to retract than react to deflect than accept i am a distraction with little emotional attraction just another faceless drone roaming the streets alone

week two day one

the lobby is dead this morning no line at breakfast no families just me and the russians and their loaf of bread everyone else went home the new crew hasn’t arrived four more mornings of this typical cyclical routine of drudgery it feels so lonely as they play soft rock saxophones echoing in the domed […]

hotel breakfast III

the pina colada songs plays as the table of russians toast an entire loaf of bread for the two of them a stooped old man in a long black robe surveys the room searching for something the sadness in his eyes tells me he will not find amidst the bacon and sausage laden plates while […]

a painting of lilies

there is a painting of lilies on the wall behind the toilet been on the road for a week spending the weekend in the hotel in the northern suburbs of atlanta for work training shuttle to class shuttle to the hotel shuttle to the store shuttle to the airport limo to the apartment shuffle to […]

res-q

rescue me from myself give me shelter from yon blowing storms collapsible like the pitter patter of softly falling tears on cracked linoleum wishes

heart search and seizure

the sanguine seas of bitter truthscorn dance languidly across the windows of divine misfortune raven feathers whipped into daggers like malignant scars flutter across barren wastelands of the heart a scourge of amniotic waves amidst the half-truth horrors impregnating themselves across fallow virtues reticent rejoinders bridge past insults to future imperfections like a carpenter beset […]

embassy in the morning

we switched hotels due to errant alarms disturbing rest from faulty wiring only for the faulty wiring in my brain to be highlighted by the sudden change in scenery the ramshackle everyday people replaced by a higher class of lowlife as i sit angrily tapping the screen of another pointless piece of prose written in […]

funeral parade

like a funeral shroud has been draped over happiness the light snuffed the moth burned to a cinder in fleeting hopes of home surrounded by faces that seem indistinct undefined all i feel is a pebble in my shoe i cannot shake loose the depression lays her itchy love across my weary mind it seems […]

sun shade

the window of the van is bleary the sun is blurry the world is a just another inconsistent meandering that makes me question if any of it is real if any of it is worth it if all the inconsequential thoughts that make up the firing synapses mean anything at all

waves

he stands still as his insides rock on the waves of exhaustion the more they try to teach the less able he is to absorb it so he does what he can the breaker against the waves