fractured

there is a fracture a convergence that makes it impossible to decipher the dual nature of your slovenly soul are you just fraudulent so wrapped up in the lies you effortlessly spew or simply so freudian that you don’t see the simple truth as laid out by your mother’s sultry touch. the dreamhammer slams the […]

(un)lived

she would send me snapshots of heaven. i would pen missives from hell. there is a flow in this dichotomy as her halo appeared dulled my weeping wounds began scabbing later as i viewed the world from the bottom of another empty bottle i would remember those glimpses into the other side with the fondness […]

cathedral of hope

i woke to find part of me had gone missing over night. the problem is with so many missing parts how do you tell a new gap from the old. the ever dwindling cage of consciousness bones or impulses keeps the array of insidious worries doubts fears and misinterpretative dance numbers to damn near overflowing. […]

damned

they say both the few survivors and the lying bastards each, that the sight of the city burning the flames high in the sky as no building was spared. you can tell by the look the hidden hunger that flashes in their eyes the real from the pretenders. when they describe the oily smoke of […]

overdue thank you

i have been luckier than i have any right to have been by the people that have come into my life. i am a bad friend. there for you during mania gone for months in the spiral. but when that connection occurs no matter how long it lasts the imprint is forever. i think about […]

Hunger review and milestone

Chris Miller reviews Hunger A biased and glowing review from Author Chris Miller. And I was alerted that my debut was number 1! Holy cow. I’m beyond floored. Thank you to all who have shown me their support. Hunger on the Chisholm Trail, available now.

river’s wit

he spills lines of darkness infused with light. it is an art. the deft strokes that draw you in to the battered heart of the matter. then you get to know him. he is hilarious. kind. generous. and. kind of an asshole. that is his secret. a rapier like wit. you somehow find yourself enjoying […]

pc3’s scowl

he has a way surgical precise. he stares at you with an intensity that crushes. it is the scowl of legend. truly. then he talks. the illusion is shattered as you try to make sense of the slurry. you cock your head in confusion. he snaps the scowl back on. as if you are to […]

chris’s lament

one time i got kicked in the testicles. it was an explosion of intense pain. i felt instantly nauseous. i fell to my knees on the gravel ignoring the sharp stones against my boney knee caps. then i saw her shoes. even through the tears falling down my cheeks i couldn’t help but admire them.

one line

in the thrall of sleeping pills where the world is syrupy slow the will is sapped serenely but the events of the day leave the mind cloudy with excitement that won’t quite wash away the random screaming agonies. win some lose some remember the small victories even in the face of crushing defeat. it’s funny. […]

stargazing

this jagged edge is too much for me to navigate so i have decided to just sit for a spell let the raggedness of this world of pain settle into my weary bones. it isn’t the setbacks but the continuous line of them that tarnishes the spirit. i am a stargazer looking into paper bags […]

the void,whispers

i have no issue with my compulsion to pick scabs to draw with the bodily fluids of near despair. every day i shed bits of myself to sprinkle like dander across an otherwise pleasant day of nonsensical meanderings. but under the sudden onslaught of too many eyes. strange orbs that twitch towards me like those […]

Soon…

Been a busy morning for the Fool. My first novel is formatted, cover is done and it is coming to rain blood across the plains. I am freaking out a little. This is my first full novel. No hiding behind poetry and short tales. This is different. And this morning, one of my favorite authors […]

muster

broken air conditioning in texas apartments makes sleep nearly impossible when it is a stagnant ninety degrees waking every hour unable to get comfortable in pain burning up it all adds up to make going to a job that cut hours that makes survival no option while the stress of everything insignificant is a constant […]

repair

they say a clean break heals better when she left it was a spiral fracture a spinal crushing the only thing clean was the way she got away the way she told everyone it was my fault the way she made it seem as if she was never really here they don’t make casts to […]

coitus insectis

we made love like star crossed preying mantises. she lovingly ripped my head off after to seal our connection. we were two bumblebees locked in midair coitus. our sudden decompression leaving my abdomen embedded. she quite disliked my musings after in the post coital glow. her fiery gaze burnt into my rotting flesh.

americana in c-minor

he spat out the kind of meth fueled truck stop pimp garbage a stripper would have tattooed in misspelled cursive across stretch marks beneath sagging breasts. a sort of stoned laureate lothario to the winos and hipster types that never leave home without a flask. he never had any sort of fortune to speak of […]

r crumb scribbles

do you ever blink your eyes because everything takes on the cast of an r crumb comic for just a brief instant upon waking feel like the floor is a vortex pulling you into a hellscape search for the american dream while hunter shoots a revolver. some days i feel like a discarded screw top […]

meat

when the light fades vanishes the body is just another slab of meat ready for processing thrown down surgical steel ramps to be pulverized by the greasy hammers of industrial justice sawed ground scooped down the chute to be mixed into a former human slurry sold to fast food chains as compassionate meat form pressed […]

in/up

my favorite color is complete darkness. my favorite sound is utter silence. it is just another in long series of failings i have managed to cultivate in the dirt beneath my fingernails. so when i descend into another spiral of madness unwilling to face the light of another vacant day. pretend i am pursuing my […]

pillow

most everyone is a stain a mold ingratiating themselves into the fabric of life. but you’re okay. could be worse. now if you will excuse me. i am going to scream into a pillow.

poor performance

afflicted to this addiction addicted to this restriction in my rasping blood flecked airways my inspiration tends to be more from desperation than an inclination to follow my dreams it isn’t that i don’t want more to be well to move on to succeed it is that past performance is indicative of future returns or […]

grocery store confessional

There is this story, I heard it Once when I was a kid. There was a girl. Now I don’t remember the particulars not clearly at least but I remember the feeling of the story. Another bullshit parable teaching another bullshit rule with the underlying message of try and not be an asshole. Something something […]

progress

you may wonder why everything is always in lowercase. it’s harder to scream. but you would be surprised at just how fucking easy it is to cry in lowercase. trust me. i am a professional. not sure at what exactly. call me, a work in progress.

old.

i see the white hairs in my beard the once lonesome outlier now pushing forward i don’t remember getting old i don’t feel old despite the white hairs the cheater glasses the constant aches the brain seems sharp is it shit i don’t know fuck fuck it’s late i woke up upside down on the […]

8lb sledge

i know i am cranky when the birds screaming outside pisses me off all i want is silence or maybe some ryo playing softly undisturbed the birds did not cause this headache i am not irrational not that irrational but every trill every whistle is a finishing nail in my eyeballs with an eight pound […]

winsome

she had a winsome smile from across the parking lot or so i assumed there was behind her mask i couldn’t say for sure but the way her eyes sparkled when i waved made me think so it is the reality i have chosen and it makes the day seem less dour

mediocracy

set adrift on the sea of mediocrity the status quo now a mediocracy critical yet incapable of criticism didactic the phantom swishing of a prehensile tail lost in another time squeaking along the broken bands of time calamitous collateral damages done without a wayward glance backwards

error code

the sky is gray the world outside is hollow just another facade painted along the roadside to give the impression that there is meaning to any of this antagonizing sorrow. in my mind you and i play in the water you and i me and you mean something more than passing fancy. the sky is […]

smears

she stares at me from across the dark parking lot with a blank expression compounded with the yellowish flood light casting long shadows across her face black seems to pour down her cheeks as she stretches on gnarled hand out across the void of night between us my heart stutters in my chest as my […]

orgy

if not for the irregular thump of the ceiling fan the world is so still for a long moment i am alert the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end a chorus of cats fucking somewhere in the bushes startles the world to life again but not really it is all subdued […]

craft of the titans

the paper maché pegasus standing with wings unfurled in the sunny spring afternoon drifting lazily through the curtained window watching over the land with a faint smile drawn upon it’s college rule notebook skin somewhere a pipe cleaner perseus journeys into the perilous styrofoam caverns in which the fates stand around a cauldron with a […]

third

i may not be the poet laureate of texas but i am the third most famous poet in my apartment complex the title goes to the little asshole that put a collaborate and listen sticker on the stop sign the runner up is the guy that scratched a dirty limerick into the paint above the […]

huffing ether

i dreamed in it i was a beetle floating upside down in a whiskey bottle huffing ether while reading kafka in a quarantine during a global pandemic in torn boxers without cable ignoring the news the gas fires the walking dead the milling masses aimlessly pacing back and forth on threadbare carpet in run down […]

smothering

i know by the streak of fire lancing through my arm as my clumsy body rolls over to spring my mind to wakeful exasperation it will take time to fall asleep huddled against the wall of pillows that make the empty bed seem alive even as the deafening hush speaks volumes in the tenacious silence […]

another sip

and lo the fool sipped from a battered clay mug the most exquisite cocktail of neurochemicals with a fragrant bouquet of intoxicating sorrow layered depression he had had his fill long long ago yet damned idiot he is he lifts the mug for another sip

art(i)st needed

looking for a ghost writer to scribble my autobiography in audible alliteration someone to sculpt me out of butter based on my profile as seen fired from the barrel of a gun i realize i am less poet than performance artist casually picking scabs while a rapt audience of none watches on these are not […]

19 years on (hey ho, let’s go)

the dyed black hair, gangly limbs, dancing adam’s apple as snotty odes to teenage rebellion are spit over the distorted guitars and screaming kids in tattered clothes denim jacket and worn out chucks, identical bowl cuts, four chords and catchy hooks you told me judy is a runt in a way that i knew her […]

to River Dixon, a rambling response

the air feels heavy, heavier than the accumulated molecules, a hint of rain to wet the dry ground of desert vistas a torrential storm to be greedily drank by the dessicated browns of once flourishing green the pitter patter of mechanical steps sounds softly through the heady song of confusion, obtrusion, intrusion and whispered delusion […]

cerberus

three snarling maws drip flame to the rough stone floor from just inside the obsidian cave at the rear of the gigantic cavern six red eyes glare out malice emanating in waves to bathe the area in knee trembling fear in the unblinking stare a low rumble shakes the stalactites a shower of stone dust […]

voice

my poetry is meant to be sang softly to a beat you will never quite be able to hear it sounds like the diamond rains on pluto falling into quicksilver a faint whistle echoing through the hollow dwarf planet a stiletto heel clicking across the plastic hull of a star gazer as it circles in […]

doot

my fist hurts from cracking bricks during yet another we are sorry our princess is not at this castle trip through the inevitable failure of an unpoetic fool seeking to ply his trade in words when stomping goombas is all he ever truly knew doo doo doot do doo doot doot

dreams, wishes, hopes

i wished a gnarled wish dreamt a broken dream let my hopes become unfurled against a backdrop of nightmares somewhere in this pit of infernal sobs between the hoarse screams of the damned the skittering legs of unseen monsters lurking just within the shadows i found myself tucked away in the webs of misery that […]

tilt a whirl

the four sides of this cage have become sinuous constricting restricting distracting as the feeling of self destructing reaches a fevered climax the never ending haze of sleep deprivation and constant pain makes the world feel like a tilt a whirl car operated by a chimp on amphetamines

you don’t pick your death

she staggered down the broken pavement leaving bloody footprints to mark the trail leading back towards the scene of her undoing a wild gleam in her eyes spoke of things best left unspoken she needed a stiff drink a three hour shower possibly a nice soft mattress to pass out upon once it was all […]

mechanism

a mechanical hiss permeates the darkness the sullen drip of liquid lazily plopping into a stagnant pool punctuates this rasping breathing of the machine fungus is the only thing that thrives in this abomination of living conditions the spores cling to the porous mortar between blackened cinder blocks the lone light swings with a polluted […]

waffle cone

the sun pounded down on the city like an iron fist in a velvet glove the sounds of the ice cream truck crawled ever closer as the children scrambled for cash he sits behind the wheel of his mobile freezer with blank anguish drawn in neon across his lined face the heat of the day […]

times

there are times when i close my eyes let the world fade away that i can hear the crackle of tobacco smell the earthy tones of freshly poured liquor my lips feel the phantom brush of hers my tongue numbed by whiskey my hands on the small of her back wishing to slide along her […]

tired

some days there just isn’t anything but that deep bone tired every thing else is too much i feel like a wrinkled bag blowing in the desert wind between dunes that are interchangeable lost and too god damned tired to do anything but let that fetid air push me wherever it will

crow noir

the old crow watches patient head cocked the light playing off of it’s ebony feathers in shimmering spectral shades of purple and green there is an understanding in those black orbs an intelligence that is lost in the auspicious unmoving form it speaks volumes in the unnerving silence hinting at a debt owed a life […]

a continuing series of ever increasing oddities, part XXVII

when faced with the unexplainable such as say an unblinking ocular exception or a downfall of blood science is shelved for a case of the old fashioned religious zealotry with good reason it becomes difficult to convey the impact of suddenly discovering everything you thought you knew was miniscule in the face of eternity but […]

g.a.o.o.

all we are is imagination in a meat suit a cluster of nerves that have attached to a mobile body interpreting chemicals and lights into a series of ideas we call reality what is reality to electrical impulses electricity has one desire to go home well my incorporeal mind has determined she is home yet […]

long thought deadened

my overwhelming curiosity battles my natural instincts to stay hidden in my cave this has always been the case my best friends knew that I would vanish for weeks at a time to try to get my head straight or ride the wave of inexplicable sorrow the constant struggle of the introverted extrovert today the […]

microwaves

the workers stand in front of the microwaves that have been wrapped in caution tape confusion as they hold their cold meals staring with blank faces as the manager explains that it is new policy to prevent people loitering in close proximity the little things that have vanished in the face of essential yet somehow […]

magnolias

the heavy waxy leaves of the magnolia trees hang low over the empty sidewalks staring out over a city that has been so busy for so long now left quiet only missing the tumbleweed blowing across the dusty streets to finish the ghost town facade a haze of pollen glints in the air like yellow […]

left de(composed)

beethoven’s ninth plays softly in the room as the moon sits lazily in the sky outside on one of those in between kind of evenings that melt away into the many unremarkable events broken by a few magical moments that make the slog semi-worth it at times my mind wanders to her chestnut hair that […]

vacuous reaches

the tacit lack of recoil meant the killing blow was not felt as it left tongue to pierce the inner ear of civility the gravity of the situation was not lost in the zero gravity of the vacuous reaches of her needing space

dust devil of good intentions

the empty faces half covered with darting fearful glances the walking dead just not quite aware yet roaming the decimated aisles where canned goods once sat he drives down the once busy road seeing the sign that states the next four turns go to the mall but no one is going to the mall just […]

slivers of mirror

the only girl he ever loved was born with slivers of mirror for teeth when she smiled it cast a blinding glare across faces filled with horrific wonder at the many scattered reflections of the folly of fools in love as the trees turned green and the bombs rained down from the many circling planes […]

dangling

dangling the view from the edge of the cliff is divine as fingers scramble to find purchase on the tufts of brown grass a fool’s game feeling the earth give with every frantic grasp to let go to just freefall into the gaping mouth of the abyss below better than dangling at least in midfall […]

The other shoe tends to drop

Hello dear readers The world is shaky at best right now. This morning I was informed our hours would be cut at work. As someone barely making it check to check, this is something I can not survive. And I’m not the only one struggling. I don’t know what I am going to do to […]

icy daggers

the words fell from her lips like icy little blades designed to freeze and flay the very soul i hope you die she immediately wished she could pull them back that she could send her tongue out like a lasso to latch onto them and swallow them to dissolve in the roiling acids that filled […]

pandora

pandora sat quietly staring at the clay vessel in front of her in her solitary room at the foot of mount olympus she never asked to be given breath by the gods to find herself plucked from the sea foam and clay a world of wonders greeted her outside yet she was obsessed with the […]

cherry blossoms

he dashes through the floating cherry blossoms as they dance on the light breeze through the evening air the moon hangs fat and bright above as the silent strikes like a cobra in the tall grass lash out in rapid succession the trilling of the heron sings in the darkness beyond the flickering light of […]

sidewinder

the sands seem sinuous as the sunlight stabs unsightly daggers into the eyes of all who are stricken by the unfiltered photons when i was a kid i liked to study snakes the sidewinder with the strange way it slithers across the stinging sands was always my favorite simply because of the oddness of it […]

gribbit

Peter felt sleepy. The fear had slowly ebbed away from his heavy limbs. The days events drawing quietly away to dissipate like the early morning mist over the trees. The trip to the jungle. The savages attacking. Being tied up and put into the giant pot. Watching them laugh as he squirmed against the rough […]

beyond words

the rollercoaster seems to be one straight plummet into the bowels of candy coated nightmares in a cistern of excrement splattered reenactments of soap opera starlets and genocidal dictators playing polo on the dessicated corpse of summer’s last good bye. i am listlessly searching for an exit from this long corridor my mind insists is […]

dreamt

i used to just dream about simple things like watching the sunset over the water of an ocean i have never seen in a land i didn’t know existed now i find myself wondering what it would feel like to wrap my arms around you to smell your perfume as my lips gently kiss your […]

dreamstench

the days when depression grips tightly in that lovers embrace of tragedy beguiling the effervescent waves of wildflowers and pomegranate daydreaming when she clutches the back of your neck with sharp talons breaking flesh in crescent moon shaped reminders of how there is so very little that remains in this world that can match her […]

two travelers and bad word play

his father’s name was sam a poor dirt farmer from a long line of dirt farmers he grew up watching as his father get older as the world spun around them without notice he dreamt of more than stinging grit in the wind bill collectors and sore muscles he would travel the world see the […]

worse

it is an eldritch algorithm that insinuates itself deeply into the undercurrent of insidiously frenzied need to pull the gasping mouths beneath the surface of the toxic pools of self asserted necessity gently entwined into the harsh light that shines upon the ever growing cracks in the facade of ritualistic joy we live love and […]

of sins and sunlight

The wind was fire on his skin, pouring salt across open wounds. The sun sent blinding forks of lightning through his skull. Blood welled on the stones as he pounded his fists fervently while howling agony at the heavens. The gods ignored his screams today. Just as they did every other day. This was his […]

rough sketch of the cover

the rough pencil lines bring the words to life as they spill across the page like graphite rivulets of hot blood let loose from the series of worms that writhe just beneath the skin under the harsh light of summer’s fury pounding the cracked earth an encapsulation of the intent given form from the nebulous […]

abysmal silence

when she spoke it was like a radio tuned to static her eyes flickered as if she tried to tune to a frequency decipherable to the strange creatures braying before her she had a pretty smile that sparkled in her eyes when the weight of the world was turned towards another poor soul to sputter […]

plaguerism

at the laundromat during the plague the normally indifferent faces left as eyes floating in an indistinct void over paper masks as the dirt of the week is slowly spun from the soiled cloths that somehow keep this emperor roaming the hallways of his own mind in glorious nude misunderstatement of the differences between viral […]

holding the future like a blade against the throat of today

she was a psychic using the future as a blade to carefully slice apart the present tense muscles of past indiscretions indiscriminately being forgotten intimately being dismantled this mantle of soothe sayer waving her hands over a crystal ball to see the spirits of the living dead all while holding the future like a blade […]

March end with the Fool

Hey there Dear Readers Been an odd month so far. The world is locked down. The panic is rising. Let’s take a deep breath and find out centers. In with the good, out through the mask. As March winds down I realized, at this very moment(ish), the cover for my Western Horror tale is being […]

answers

maybe every wish has been over a meteor falling from grace and never the shooting star i had hoped for maybe every prayer was uttered in the wrong language to be picked up by the holy antennae of the gods every dream was just a regurgitation of the days events mangled and made palatable by […]

snail

when the pain gets to be too much the anxiety whispers the depression pressures until my inner organs turn to diamond i retreat into my shell feeling less like a hermit crab than a snail as the world speeds past yet i cannot seem to get my bearings the spiral of my mobile command center […]

dropping pennies

he lives by the airport he likes the noise having grown up by the train tracks making a gentle rumble was more comforting than distracting some days he would sit constipated by the words that taunted his every day with their incessant murmuring then running away on those days he would sit at the window […]

a plea for rain

it seemed to rain everyday for a month the entire time the dull gray skies seemed a reflection of my soul now the sun shines through the crystal blue and in this naked exposure i find myself longing for the rains i am as tumultuous as those thunderheads that hung morosely over the uncaring concrete […]

the call

he stares out the window at the birds flying free swooping merrily through the bright azure skies a chubby squirrel stares at him with its head cocked possibly wondering why the hairless is trapped in a box the conference call had been going for roughly two hours longer than was positively possibly necessary yet no […]

lesser than

i have a diabetic sweet tooth craving everything that will only lead to my undoing i have a blind spot for trouble that leads to stumbling in the darkness for the edge of the cliff i have a an inconvenient grasp on the truth when it points towards fallacies that seem ideal i have a […]

mourning routine

the low bassline rumbles across the floor to find purchase in my now tapping toes the guitar kicks in as the cymbals shiver with vibration she sits on couch with her legs demurely crossed ignoring the fact that sunlight streams across her erect nipples as she pretends to read all pretense lost as she sets […]

of pomegranate kisses and fires left unchecked

her pomegranate stained lips leave a trail of bloody kisses down the rigidity of all i try to suppress the world is silent except for her breathing a symphonic array from her lungs combined with my need to launch the entire room into chaos of action as my hands play down her bare legs still […]

hoof it

the words escape me trapped in a whirlwind of my own butter discontented sighs to traipse across the room a will o’wisp of bad intentions irresponsible irreprehensible irreparable an abomination an abdominal snow man a flaky crust of subservitude to a cause and affectionately spooked recurring theme i don’t know what’s happening but i don’t […]

a continuing series of ever increasing oddities, part XXI

there is a river that runs far underground that has never seen the light of day fed by one underground aquifer to travel through a honeycomb of caverns and spill into another pale creatures uncatalogued by ever inquisitive scientists live and die in this unlit land it is mindless in its flow in the molecular […]

springtime for isolation

tomorrow is the vernal equinox as the sun passes the celestial equator to the northern hemisphere far below the two hemispheres of the self isolated brain begin the slow divergence into two autonomously functioning sickly gray matter simulated masses realms of total fear when fitzgerald or heminway were isolated during the spanish flu they guzzled […]

(un)poetic, free for a limited time

Hello dear readers So the world is in a panic and everyone is being told to stay indoors. Myself and the wonderful people at Potter’s Grove Press know that can be long hours of staring at the walls. Why not read my first poetry collection to wile away the time? For free! That’s right. Until […]

current dismissals

i feel like one of the last icebergs floating in the warm waters of mental breaking slowly shrinking into the abyss of ever drowning this is home this is heaven this is hell this is home this is here this is now this is the end of the beginning the begining of the end don’t […]