emp(t)

the empty highways of a city on lockdown afraid of everything it feels like a holiday except for us poor bastards headed to work

another bitter worker’s lament

mostly everyone in the company i work for is working from home. they can do everything over the web. then there is us techs. we read the emails warning that it is for the best if everyone avoids everyone else for the next few weeks. as we, the lesser than, get sent out, much like […]

simple things

the most complex things are made up of the most simple things at the center of the core. yet sometimes the most simple things are overly convoluted by an inability to separate the two. as the basic human needs cannot be met without complex human interactions in the modern age. we barter our trades as […]

the survivors

it was day three of the plague enforced spring break the children with dirty faces and runny noses walked along the empty streets in desperate need for milk and toilet paper the parents sat alone in the dark staring at their phones as another and then another store was ransacked trash swirled in the empty […]

rodent

there was man with the face of a rodent not the actual face of a rodent but similar features to a rodent the mannerisms as well he pushed an ice cream cart up and down the street in the sweltering heat of the summer his nose twitching as he sang nonsense and the little bell […]

a continuing series of ever increasing oddities, part XIX

if a man cries in the forest alone under the baleful glare of the eye of an unfathomable creature manifested in the center of an unworldly spiralling storm does he make a noise does the sudden inexplicable knowledge that there is something more something larger than the menial life spent in mind numbing labor that […]

laid bare across the early morning haze

there is something magical in an overcast day where the sun stares down with a corona of malaise through the misty skies when the words flow like sweet nectar across the honeyed sick of anxiety and woes a time of insipid prose that coats the inside of the manic skull while tapping out meteoric metaphors […]

a continuing series of ever increasing oddities, part XVIII

the thirteen hooded figures choked out the chanting through blood flecked vocal cords from the cave overlooking the now flooded town exhaustion should have pulled each to their knees the painful rasping of their voices should have given out but as surely as a tortoise can fly or a tennis ball can feel freedom or […]

sometimes maybe

sometimes i am thinking so far into the future the present is a blur of external stimuli i tune out sometimes i get so transfixed on the problems of today i forget that the future holds promises as yet unfurled mostly i want to crawl into bed and sleep for roughly a decade wake up […]

a continuing series of ever increasing oddities, part XVI

she shuddered in her blanket coccon not unlike the butterfly earlier but she was not trying to break free no she was burrowing further in as the waves crashed against the buildings around her like rolling thunder down the litter strewn streets she found herself falling deeper and deeper into the spiralling malaise that threatened […]

hidden away

with the constant state of panic sweeping the globe it feels odd not being the only one with crippling anxiety hiding at home but at least for most everyone else it is a temporary thing to me it is the same as breathing this hidden away half baked poet become prototype for sheer terror

fields of saffron

the sun and the cracked ground are the same hazy shade of yellowish brown she stands in the sweltering heat wrapped from head to toe walking down tight rows she plucks the vivid purple flowers with tossing them into the ever filling basket the wind is a blast furnace pressing the loose fabrics tightly against […]

time spent on time

i spent the morning smashing all of the clocks in the house my pastime is staring into time past so keeping an up to date registry on the time i will not consider until it is long over seems prudent i keep the brass gears in a dish trying to fathom the secreta to putting […]

a continuing series of ever increasing oddities, part XV

there was a shifting a low howl that registered just under hearing just above recognition then a sudden surge as the absent minded water came rushing back with a longing for the shore so abrupt it crashed over the sea wall through the crowded streets leaving nothing but rubble in it’s frantic need to return […]

Pandemic with Mona

“I have tested positive for Corvid-19.” I watched her face as I spoke. “Covid-19. Just call it Corona.” She didn’t even bat an eye. “I think I heard the doctor correctly. It was muffled from the face mask. It seemed a bit extreme, if I’m being honest.” She just kept on tapping. “It is safer […]

settled

she settled on me when she decided that the car wreck that was her life could use another tragedy to spice things up she settled on me like the tons of snow from an avalanche launched down the side of the mountain after an errant sneeze she settled on the repetition of anger and lust […]

blurry

I was writing a summation about my take on the state of the world. Then after reading it realized it was more the plot to a horror novel. Then after that realization hit, I deleted it and wanted to curl up in bed for the next decade or two. Once the lines have blurred enough […]

genuine

he had spent so long faking his life when the doctor told him he was dying it was a relief all those years of pretending to be someone he was not liking people he could not stand doing things he hated but in that one instance he realized that even if his entire life was […]

dreamspike

close your eyes little one forget the misery that slides across your heart she wore a ribbon in her hair that wiggled through the air like a snake with her every step across the field, her smile threatened to break her face in half, her eyes glittering little stars of the purest blue, taking in […]

simulated

the sun came out today but as it shines down on the land i find myself not in the mood for sunshine or bird song the highways are filled to bursting with carbon copy cutouts of the same basic body style in angry lines with metal cups of coffee clenched in manicured fingers like a […]

a continuing series of ever increasing oddities, part X

the winds screech the banshee wail of impending doom the tempest writhing in cumulus tentacles across the emerald sky a milk crate precariously perched upon an old lawn table with one short leg rattles closed to the edge with subtle shifting plasticmania a new gust batters the teetering table to thrust it skyward the least […]

curled up with a dead poet

there is this feeling as i try and process the latest collection of bukowski poems of heart rending sorrow that one day the ever slimming pile of (un)released poetry will be the last anguish it feels like he typed each on my aorta tangled my consciousness in the simplicity of words flowing in that broken […]

a continuing series of ever increasing oddities, part IX

the cocoon hung fat on the sagging branch a slight wriggling barely perceptible at first then the struggle intensifies the branch bobs under the shifting weight minutes pass a halflifetime trapped in constraint slowly frantically it begins to burst free by nanometers squirming through the lazarus exaltation or (re)birth a brightly colored burst in the […]

a continuing series of ever increasing oddities, part VIII

the sea loving kisses the shore with gentle lips flashes of light far out over the blue gray waves then with a loud sucking sound the water is simply gone fish dance in suffocating motion on the newly revealed sand the lighthouse suddenly land locked in the vanishing tides the light keeper stares out with […]

a continuing series of ever increasing oddities, part VII

thirteen robed figures stand motionless in the mouth of the cave torch flames dance casting shadows to blend with the darkness in the bellowing stone mouth tectonically formed with no rhyme nor reason on the face of the mountain lightning arcs through the ominous black skies at high noon a tome fashioned from stretched human […]

a continuing series of ever increasing oddities, part VI

the bells toll from the musty tower in the center of town the brass behemoths sending a resounding wave of dischordiant warning echoing through the empty streets a small child lays huddled beneath his bed shaking in fear as the alarms clang in a thunderous chorus the congregation gathers in the marble ossuary of accumulated […]

a continuing series of ever increasing oddities, part V

the way the leaves blow across the forest floor in a dazzling display of non-sequitur free dance a bear cub plays in the blowing detritus of summer’s sweet kiss good night a subtle shift in the ground alerts mother bear something is amiss then the land shakes a violent upheaval in the midst of a […]

a continuing series of ever increasing oddities, part III

the sunshine feels oily across the surface retention of the razorblade soul the venom laden fangs of the serpent sink deeply into the vestiges of random insight the scentless stench of brash indifference flickers like gems scattered across the smallpox blankets carelessly given as gifts from nature herself to the bipedal infection slowly killing the […]

a continuing series of ever increasing oddities, part I

she sat on the shell of an extraordinarily large tortoise suspended high above the city the people smaller than ants beneath her proved to be the source of much laughter she daydreamed of the simple lives of those so blissfully ignorant to her plight above the tortoise cared little for the world below and less […]

awake

he didn’t bound out of bed exuberant with the sounding alarm soothed by the chorus of birds trilling the glory of the morning sun ready to face the new day he rolled painfully to the edge of the matress let himself drop to the floor with gravity doing the bulk of the heavy lifting scowling […]

overcast city

the city is overcast it smells like wet dog and burning rubber as the meth addicts walk along the small strips between the buildings searching for something in the brown grass the man shakes screams into the quiet morning with something just left of mindless rage as he kicks tufts of dead sod into the […]

loneliness in the swarm of flesh

i was sitting on the bench the same bench i always find myself sitting on when the sleep won’t come but the tired lays across my lap like a fuzzy blanket there was a star twinkling above that seems to pulse and blink along with the pieces of coherence that sifted through the collander of […]

coming home

the lines of filth run down the inside of the glass to pool on the threadbare carpet in viscous sodden rorschach images of corose beetles eating the flesh clean off the skeleton of hope left discarded with the rest of the good feelings thjs vacuum sealed planet of piss poor expectations launched into the void […]

validation

every smile validates the cold frost that dapples the windows leading to the soulbarren desert of just desserts from whence the tawdry expectation of inexplicable palpation seeks home in biting whorls of detrimental defiance the time clock validates the grand entrance into the vestibules of night

leap day for the nude traveler seeking home

like a ken doll melting in the sun he sat waiting for his flight back to texas poignantly staring at the pacific ocean pointedly ignoring the laughter he ventures into the sky the lone nude traveler waits. the statistic revile leads to an extra day the basic human need to force the universe into the […]

sleepless

she said to me you’re gonna regret this in the morning i kept my mouth shut as i was already regretting it at that exact moment but it didn’t really matter as i am an insomniac so morning never quite comes she asked me causally how do you sleep at night knowing all of the […]

stories

he sees stories in every new vista yet only has so much time to scribble them it doesn’t matter though as no one seems to ever read the things he spills across the page yet on he writes imagining he is leaving a legacy to be found one day long after he has died

there are things

there are things that i wish i remember but i couldn’t say exactly what i will just have to settle for the smell of flowers that occasionally taunts my shredded mind it could be worse sometimes things are forgotten sometimes they claw your brain i will take the subtle hints over the vacuous spaces that […]

between life and thought

the wind howls down through the empty streets whipping up the trash of another failed attempt at civilized domination gone the way of the dinosaurs into the land of tar soaked bones lost to the annals of history a lone silhouette stands in the tower at the center of the fallen bricks that once made […]

dusk

she stared at herself in the mirror not recognizing the lined face that looked back dusk had fallen over her afternoon beauty leaving shadows playing where smooth perfection had once ruled it had been so easy a smile opened doors a shake of the hips dropped jaws to the floor a general change pulled the […]

bones

she was made of calcified dream left to rot beneath the soggy mud of hope unfulfilled a skeleton of whimsical desires stripped bare with organs of failed potential slowly reverting back to the basic elemental dysfunction the chaos will strangled by the roots of hypertension rotting in the spatial insecurities of lazy misanthropic reality her […]

here we are again

almost made it the whole day without more of my intimate whining in shaky metaphor ignored the words in a petulant attempt to prove my superiority yet here we sit in a bare bones diatribe against the goddamned never ending hollow ache that is more a part of me while my mind is more apart […]

pull

one strand of gossamer spider web gently hovering over the sidewalk a shimmering thread dancing on the wind the only thing missing was a rusted hook to draw me in the spectacle of a lure glinting to pull me down down down beneath the placid surface of the sea

inward

there are days where the need to crawl deeper inward to force the entirety of my wayward third eye to ignore the world of rabid regurgitation is the only emotion to pierce the veil of my insipid ignorance today is one of those the only comforting thought is to lock myself in the bare comfort […]

self (aware)

sometimes i feel self awareness so intimately like sandpaper across bare skin but with the small in scope veneer of the velveteen depression that seeps over everything an ashen maple syrup that leaves everything wanting so the irony of my profession being fixing things as a semi-autonomous flesh bag filled with the shattered stained glass […]

17

it has been seventeen years since you left sixteen birthdays with the candles left unextinguished the world has never been the same frankly neither have i they say it gets easier but so far the closer your birthday gets the worse i feel the sense of missing you just grows more fierce i love you […]

drizzle

i like chilly rainy nights for some reason the words like to play on the falling drops there is a song if you listen closely between the inevitable spatters a symphony with impossible notes nestled within a place of comfort sanctuary in the sullen drizzle a place for monsters to dance between the drops.

(en)visions

i have never been big on possessions except the demonic type they enter my willing vessel as i toss and turn through the night bereft of peace left to the insidious thoughts the ceaseless pain the loneliness of a queen mattress with only a fool to occupy the expanses of wasted time so the brimstone […]

lost and fondled

the bleak feeling has made me retreat so far that i have turned inside out internalized so fiercely that the internal organs have extroverted to relieve themselves from the pressure my heart compressed to diamond as the seething need to belong makes ownership another tricky gambit in the lost and fondled my daily attire the […]

sailed

it’s raining yet the sun still tries to shine through the scattered gray skies the aches that pulsate through the vessel are nothing new reminders of the fragility inherent three more hours sleep would more than likely make things better but that ship has long since sailed

sifting

sifting through the remnants of the day in search of that last silver nugget of hope in the ashes of yesterday

driftwood daydream on the river styx

i am lost in this hellish mindscape of conflicting demotion, inflicted commotion, reflected exclusion, dejected reclusion. i am none of the things i need. all of the things despicable. locked in step with the headsman. watching the light glint off the wicked curve of the blade as the crowd throws rotten effigies of the man […]

last bullet

The leaves were the color of a freshly newborn child, that purplish red of a soon to be bruise. The sunlight filtered down and dappled the ground. A slight breeze tried to blow from the north but sputtered before really doing much. And I sat with my back against the tree, wondering how it all […]

yokai (a poem in (un)poetic)

she wore an ankle length kimono as she walked barefoot through the lush grass of her yard, porcelain beauty in lunar rays broken by cloud the silky robe is adorned with a phoenix bursting forth from ash into a cherry blossom colored sky, pinks and reds like a watercolor trailing her steps her movements were […]

mirror lenses

the feeling persists the lack of belief in self existence pupils become mirrors to reflect what we wish to see in front of us projected into us we seek in others what we wish grew wild within then reject the briars in a flux of insular need wrapped in weeds until all is strangled left […]

saint

the saint known only as V was a cruel conniving bastard he would lure lost souls into his home with the promise of sweet confections flowers chocolates bits of poetry were weapons in his hands he used them to fulfill his twisted desires his lackey the fat cherub would unleash with his bow upon the […]

flooded

the roads are flooded across the city as the cold rains fall he is headed to the cemetery there are a million other places he would rather be not least back in bed pretending none of this exists yet he drives through muddy rivers that were dry yesterday headed to a cemetery wondering if the […]

Mid-February update

Hello dear readers The Manic Word Depot has been quieter than normal as the Lead Maniac is writing like mad. I tend to casually write whatever I feel like, bouncing between stories until one sticks if there are no deadlines to meet. I find I like a good deadline to keep me focused. It doesn’t […]

wherever and now

the transient effect of random incoherence is the same as falling through the shadows to find the closest point between wherever and now a reiterance of irrelevance left to stew in the bog of rendered fats regurgitated organ failures and reticent reminders

lightning(razor kiss)

i was standing in a thunderstorm, watching the lightning play across the sky, the purple after images burned into my retinas rain running down my head and into my eyes, the crash of thunder palpable, my heart racing with every flash of voltage the smell of ozone burning mixed with that fresh rain scent, masking […]

sprung in falsehood

the birds have reawoken from the winter blast that reset the world into a frozen representation of non-essential steps to rationalizing the insipid in the insufferable sufferings they sing outside with the milquetoast blatherings of feathered insanity trilling the turgid death chants of former thunder lizard glories a keening on the blooming verdancy of vapid […]

vertigo go blues

i found myself falling it was inexplicable but there i was the wind screaming in my ears eyes watering arms akimbo falling through the rapidly darkening skies towards a land that was unfamiliar i couldn’t say how i got there not through the screams at least i am not confidant this is a dream as […]

raccoons

i would like to live in a world where raccoons are the gangsters they look like they should be i don’t care if emus remain screw them

importan’t

some days she would rest her head on the flat pillow staring at the ceiling for a sign that whatever this is is something more than what it appears to be most days ended much the same much the shame for a rapidly deteriorating self image but every once in a while she could drag […]

music

she tied the cords around my throat played my vocal chords like a violinist in the first chair of the orchestra of the damned sending my own words reverberating through the desolate emptiness of my personal concert hall playing my fears and passions like an auteur leaving nothing but blood flecked lips curled into a […]

fisticuffs

it isn’t that he wanted to fight but the thought of exchanging fisticuffs made the doldrums of the day seem less inconsequential in some mesmerising way so he spat blood with fragments of tooth onto the rain slicked sidewalk with a wary smile that showed somewhat a physical manifestation of the inner agony was a […]

artfully

i don’t wish death upon anyone i visualize it with painstaking care then i pour it into words across the paper how the blood beads up in the initial slice the affect heightened blood pressure has the gentle arc of arterial spray no i would never wish death upon someone but I will revel in […]

cynical

the air is cynically sublime in the way it sucks the will to live from gasping lungs the sky is petulant in shades of gray the lazy rays of light marionette strings on an uncaring land the carcass of hope has been hollowed out to fit a family of five comfortably in the filthy residue […]

soft

it isn’t growing soft as the years continue the tally the odometer reaches towards the upper limits of spatial awareness when i was a kid i got a bicycle and we put a thousand miles on it over the stretch of one summer filled with reckless abandon now as i get old and the distance […]

memory of loss

the salt of the ocean is the only memory i still have not the waves nor the shore just the salt as it crusted upon the rocks all the important memories have gone to still frames of black and white while i lose myself in the gray falling farther from the colors losing vibrancy in […]

eight letters

Tomorrow is eight letters that reek of impending doom. The air is ripe with fuckery. The apocalypse looms between the bulbous eyes of the pockmarked squirrel attending the closing act of the syphilitic going out of business sale at the whorehouse of invalid bears. The apple is ripe with maggots swimming in the pulpy brown […]

titular denials

she was a nocturnal transmission to my satellite cortex just another dash of white noise to pollute the airwaves of the missed connection in my hypothalamus my antenna snapped low to the frontal lobe leaves much to be said for my reception this defective detective that smokes a pipe in my general malaise there were […]

ashen tongue

she wore concrete stilletos a razor wire brassiere the thin line of her thong a fuse my gaze set aflame as she strutted across the room with heavy steps dripping lust hungry eyes follow the trail of ash as it traces along the curves of her gorgeous frame knowing the gray will soon be all […]

most likely

two weeks ago we hit critical need for laundry and groceries as a true pro i was able to manage with a three dollar load of work essentials allowing for post shower nude lounging to balance it out i could easily blame it on not having the cash but i had put ten bucks in […]

random squelches II

I spent the night at a cemetery last night. It was cold and the wind was whipping up dead leaves into mini-tornadoes all around me. I found it hard to complain though, I was here by choice, while the bulk of the other occupants were not given one. Here, I could sit on the hard […]

random squelches

Josef knew 3 things. Unicorns told the dirtiest jokes. Elves were all sorts of stupid. And satyrs were always thinking of sex. That was why he was so surprised to find himself demonstrating the punchline to the unicorn’s joke to the satyr using the elf as a prop. Hindsight would show this to be a […]

half in and out

the traffic is at a standstill like rows of angry crabs waiting re-entry into the ocean big claws snapping while the little claw taps the asphalt chittering back and forth as they face perpendicular to the highway a terrapin convention to the north as they crawl upon the high-rise ramps like the world’s worst rollercoaster […]

same no matter the floor

no matter how many stories into the sky the elevator takes you or marble floors granite counters gold embossed toilets there will still be a stagnant fetid puddle of piss on the floor to navigate no matter how many millions of dollars that are made in the adjoining offices someone is wrecking the restroom the […]

remora

have you ever had to choose between medicine and food then realize you cannot afford either in a civilized age filled with supposedly civilized people on a somewhat civilized planet the poverty rate is in an inverse proportion to the to the ones that control the bulk of the wealth but that is just how […]

hellspike

some days there are no words to explain the constant state of panic that colors the world a hellspike driven deeply into the sternum keeps the light of anything resembling joy at bay

survivor

there is no greater beauty than in the eyes of utmost tragedy the shattering lends prismatic interpretation of insular pain that is why holding tightly to the broken tends to cut both standing in the eye of the maelstrom as shards of awareness spin at the pinnacle of rock bottom lies a harsh truth unpossible […]

corpse(flower)

she was a corpse flower with tendrils that swept across the everdusk of my wilted sorrow the sticky pollen coated everything in the open air market of this strange secondhand soul she never feared burning down the haphazardly stacked tinder bundles of hopeful adoration now the world is covered in ash as the sickly sweet […]

lost in spaces

it was less dine and dash then done and dense the dangling particular of participles and pageantry deny the peevish the peckish dinner of pasteurized dentata i egress i regress i degress into a spot of trouble trailing turbulent times as gestation receeds the tumultuous trials of triangular longing leaving trembling tumors to trespass the […]

incidental contact

the world is a string of ones and zeros laid out in seemingly random disarray across the optical dismay of another synthetic symbiosis synthesize intuition from the chemical dump left in brain pan of flickering lights flashing synapses reiterate the alignment of this false sense of reality into a cypher of semi-autonomous hive minded reflections […]

amnesiac wonder

the office is a regurgitation of seventies motif with avocado greens burnt orange and dark chocolate brown the walls have a strange cube pattern it feels as if i have fallen into the overlook hotel in the middle of texas outside the window the blustery dallas skyline looks angry with dark gray clouds threatening to […]

krakatoan scar

i get a little moribund when the air is cold and the rain won’t stop fucking falling i get a little antisocial when the words choke me yet all i do is stare at the blank screen there’s this krakatoan scar across the insides of my eyelids like an afterimage of her smile you can […]

drowning on solid ground

the world seems so confusing when the fog hangs heavy over the once clear vistas yet still the maps lead us towards our destinations as if there is nothing to fear hidden around us so still i drive down once familiar roads towards a place i would rather not travel to working towards an end […]

rat dreams

the thunder rattles the calcified bits of dead dream in the long silent solace of who i once was the rains pummel the windows of the squalor while reality rolls in the collected trash of another failed attempt at life beyond the daily allotment of means dribbled across the failings of my icarus like fanciful […]