i woke up in the middle of the night in my own bed lost that feeling has not faded where have i gone what have i become battered and bruised no less trapped here than there. i ask is there any difference. am i real. or has the fool fooled himself with the foolish hope […]
i missed you little bird in the bush outside my window you let me know the sun is rising today will be a glorious day or possibly you are complaining about the weather the state of worms in a down turned economy the lack of affordable nesting of being alone i don’t care i missed […]
and i am back in texas a week of georgia peaches and in depth classes pertaining to the last thing i care to learn a week of hotel living and strangers that became a family of misfits a week of new friends, of jay the instructor barely able to contain his laughter as i disrupt […]
thundercat whispering into my ears as the plane rolls slowly down the tarmac far above the ground, a speck amongst the specks below, so as below surely it applies to those of us daring to replicate icarus with nary a feather strapped to the waxy pallors we all wear as the turbulent air pushes us […]
she asked for my earbud, curious as to what had me hopping in my seat she looked at me with wide eyes as the ramones filled her head we sat next to each other as i taught her the joys of punk rock and hip hop she is dressed like a witch and acts like […]
taxiing down the runway, flights filled with dream and hope friday travel, headed home, a week in quiet seclusion so many smiles, except the fool, headed home to his empty apartment he watches them holding hands down the corridor, my hand reaches to the quiet void by my side end of the road, end of […]
when it came to moving from illinois to texas, i didn’t let myself think, i packed, i moved, i said good bye to my previous life it was fast, it was done like ripping a bandage off but i remember the call it was as if i had begun vibrating on a new frequency lately […]
it’s raining in atlanta, finally warm but the steady drop of water lulls me into the false belief everything will be okay today poor sleep, checked out of the room, checked out mentally, physically inaccessible to the thoughts of the day ahead twelve hours until boarding the steel monstrosity, two and half to landing in […]
alone oatmeal sits in lumps in his bowl the room is so silent the migratory business men already flying home for the weekend their fill of terrible coffee and eggs from powder told all of their tales sold all of their wares lived the greatest lie they could for four days of econoclass kingdom now […]
she painted her toenails black because she knew that always got to me dragged her fingernails down my throat, just shy of drawing blood bit my earlobe, whispered her love gently into my ear knowing it would all make a growl come up from throat sitting on my lap, squirming in just the right way […]
we sat four strangers united by the pool, different tales, far from home the fool is loud, a jester with his belled hat forgotten in the room, his heart across the ocean, his home in her smile the one is loud but hurt, trying to figure out how to move on from heartbreak the other […]
he is a peach farmer from rural south carolina rugged voice, gnarled hands from working the ground for fifty years we sit and drink shitty coffee, talking of army worms destroying crops, tying bow ties, and just how fucked up the news is these days he began wearing bow ties because the lady at the […]
i never had a head for languages, english has always been hard enough for me i am barely fluent in my native tongue now my tongue can speak in wondrous ways, ones that require dexterity and speed but foreign languages escape me i find myself wanting to learn them all to spew my wasteful words […]
i’ve been winter for so long now, freezing with my lack of emotion i’ve forgotten the kiss of summer began to dread the healing of spring, resenting the sprouting blossoms of green greedy to keep all around me coated with ice reminiscing of autumnal decay no way to live in stasis, in perpetual mourning, fearing […]
she would sit idly run her fingers through my beard hum absently as she stared out the window watching the big drops splat on the thirsty ground am i your pet, to be scratched and nuzzled she gave a wry grin nodded still humming still watching still absently playing a puppy or a cat she […]
i sat still dormant over time reclaimed by the world i had sought to vanish from lush vegetation clung to my craggy slopes still i slumbered then unbidden i was awoken she came laid her hands on the sleepy soil i tried to ignore that infusion the gentle waves of wakefulness rippling across my mind […]
Listen to razor.m4a by MEnnenbach #np on #SoundCloud
did i tell you how i had fallen for you without ever seeing your face that your heart sang to mine across the distance like two old friends across a worn table in a cozy bar recounting their lives how one time you said something it was earnest and sweet my immediate response was to […]
salesmen and auditors, lonely and away from home free beer in the lobby from five to seven, nowhere to be, nothing to do the road is a quiet place wives and kids in other states so they migrate to the fool what exactly about his ugly face invites conversation, his demeanor which screams unapproachable invites […]
the sea is rocky today rivulets of salty spray against the starboard rail on, on, ever forward towards the eastern star the sharp crack of rifle fire plumes of black smoke splintered wood on, on, ever drifting, planks of wood on the waves dead zones without current aimlessly floating ambergris bobbing Her smile beckons to […]
she is my weakness yet she gives me strength i become a bundle of bare nerves intoxicated on Her every desire
silent chewing prepackaged, frozen and set into warming trays, juice from concentrate, coffee from the deepest darkest roasted pits of hell oatmeal dried cranberries, a dash of cinnamon, a hint of milk to return moisture maybe a sausage if the mind will stop comparing them to dessicated dog shit finally unburied from the last winter […]
derelict memories, rusted variables of venomous vestiges, skimming across the manic landscapes of the myriad liveries hoarse cries reverberating through unconscious lips her tongue slashed across the final semblance of sanity like knife with tetanus carving her every desire into muscle memories of disharmonic hymnals
transcendental self flagellation to the dulcet notes of agonized screams the slapping of bloody flesh, misanthropic fairy tales of pleasure brought through the severity of pain humming a happy tune along with the skeletal bluebird outside the window a wet, persistent cough echoes throughout the hall, rheumy with a view of madness, clammy skin and […]
our tale begins like any other two people, desperately unhappy, give up on anything more a tale as old as time really it started innocently enough a fool spilled his guts out to a seeming indifferent world after yet another failure a curious woman stumbles upon him, reads deeply into his words, discovers the hurting […]
this hotel bed is too big, without another in which to share it a cloud one that doesn’t feel right alone i will clutch my pillow, pretend it is Her, the fool lost in dream when i awake, with Her scent still in my mind, the phantom feel of Her lips, Her skin pressed close […]
fatalistic not nearly drunk enough for this sober living sitting in the waiting area reading statistics about plane crashes malfunctions deviancies in maintenance routines geese sucked into the engine researching mountains in the flight path weather variances i enjoy flying just feels roughly apropos the fool is happy bound to be turbulence beware of geese
close your eyes my love, can you feel my hands upon your skin, my breath upon your neck do you hear my voice, as i whisper into your hair, savoring the smell of you as we lie here my warmth soaking into you as you push back into me, as i envelop you in a […]
she opened her ring, slipped the powder into the steaming cup of coffee a smile on her lips she offers me the mug, unaware i watched her nefarious deed i smile and take it she watches in anticipation as i gently blow on the brown liquid, declining her offer of sugar or cream my eyes […]
time and time again, the desperation led me to believe in the worm you set to float in front of me you could sense my need muddying the waters as i thrashed so the line was cast, my lip was pierced, you held me up as i spasmed in the open air i couldn’t breathe […]
like a static image through an electronic microscope, delving deep into the secrets of the abyss between vibrating forms the view through a telescope, bringing the distant landscape into unsettling real and near focus, shrinking the distances it is possible to be right next to something eons away, yet to be right next to someone […]
the wind was fire on his skin like salt on open wounds. the sun was blinding lightning through his skull. blood welled up on the stones as he pounded fists fervently howled agony at the heavens. the gods ignored his screams today like they did every other. this was penance for untold sins. forgiveness was […]
i didn’t know what was missing where this unsatisfiable hunger came from this bottomless need until you it has been so empty so cold for so long darkness draped over everything lost in my own shadow now i fear the light
the sky is gray like a razor blade peeling layers away digging deeper leaving furrows in the freshly laid silt another riverbed of self destruction another vase of roses left to wilt close the blinds blinded to the truth blended into slush bland tasteless tactless the gray sky like a razor blade severed optic nerves […]
it’s silent a hush has fallen ambient noise turned to nothing as if someone hit mute on the universe then slowly a soft sound a gentle thump woosh thump woosh thump woosh the only thing that breaks the silence your heartbeat in my head a metronome keeping time rocking me to sleep i fall into […]
woke up on the wrong side of the bed, beneath it, to be precise the sound of goldfish singing echoing through the room, the glug glug symphony bringing a sense of calm sweeping over me i stepped outside to admire the day, pre-sunrise, the moon shining up into the oceans above me a school of […]
she walks across the room and my eyes were glued to her every step i love you the words fell out unbidden she smiles that smile that all smiles long to be a soft smile that belongs on her face that smile that belongs to me just as every bit of me belongs to her […]
have you seen me i’ve put my face on milk cartons across the country, stapled to telephone poles that serve no use in this modern wireless age lost in the poor reception of polluted airwaves, filled with digital signatures and trademarked registers have you seen me the sour faced fool with a chip on his […]
i would write a poem of love for you but poems have endings and this does not, so in truth, every day shall be a continuation, a brand new ode with every fresh beginning, another chapter in the ongoing tale of impossibility a second, third, thousandth chance at defining the undefinable in which you embody […]
Official link below if you want to tune in. Chris Miller is a friend with immense talent as well. He’ll be leading off and I’ll be on around 1030CST. I like doing these things. I even did a test read of the section. I’ll probably stumble a bit, live reading and adrenaline get me. Panic […]
his bellows rattled the stone walls around me i feel the ball of string getting smaller as i try and navigate the darkened halls the bodies of the lost litter the ground crushed skulls crunch underfoot i didn’t deserve this minos and his petty punishments i’ll find my way out vengeance will be mine i […]
she lives in the future, but her presence is in the here and now, her soul is old, spread across me like this blanket covered in lions across my bed, warm and familiar with a hint of promises to come true it is soothing to be draped in the mist of the fresh morning, the […]
she sings on the branches of a once withered heart her song brings forth the sun a gentle melody that wakes the slumbering world oh nightingale oh nightingale the world is yours my love oh nightingale with plumage so pale your beauty outshines the horizon
she held me in the highest disregard, a popcorn shell lodged in her ivory teeth, a pebble in her shoe have you ever tried to grasp the sunlight, only to cause a shadow on the ground, depriving a flower of the light it needs to live to callously pluck tadpoles without giving them a chance […]
i slip in to the metaphorical because i don’t have the basis in reality to explain these quasars shooting through my brain i fall into philosophical because i cannot find the answers to the questions pounding holes inside my cavernous empty skull but i slide back to you because the light is so inviting, it’s […]
in three words she made certain my heart belonged to her it wasn’t promises of forever nor declarations of love it was so much simpler than that you are enough in those three words as if attaching wings to my heart i was hers
freedom isn’t free, it is an illusionary way of taming the herd we are only as free as the laws allow as long as we are draped with the restraints of laws, forced to pay taxes, and made to watch what we say for fear of punishment are any of us truly free animals are […]
lone tree with scarlet leaves in a verdant field of mesquite shrub i know the feel of both so well i wonder which am i
it’s a day for quiet contemplation and skull crushing pain an average day one where the birds are muted, the sky is bright, the wind blows foreign scents across the land it is a day for dreamers, lost in the heady notes of what will be it’s a day for subtle sublimation, returning to a […]
it is the tinge of sudden inexplicable need that colors my world splits the pure white beam of hopelessness into a prismatic wonderland shades i only saw in dream reflect across the ceiling changing the normal into amazement what do you see when you close your eyes, what visions sweep through your mind do you […]
Thursday night yours truly is going to premiere the prologue to my first novel, Hardly Fair from the fool’s own mouth. It is going to be fun. Hopefully. I still can’t stand to hear myself but the words are solid so tune in! Might even do a poem or two. Who knows what will happen […]
spiralling like a nautilus, falling into the mollusk’s mouth grinding down the throat of the turtle, floating on the solar winds disintegrating at the thought of your touch, falling slowly apart the invisible rays bombard us, stardust makes up our souls, we are slowly falling back into whence we came, you to return to being […]
it’s been two years and still the occasional long hair peeks it’s way off the collar of a shirt trapped in the depths of the closet the same hair that tickled my nose when she leaned in for a kiss the same hair in a ponytail she would ask to be pulled it’s odd how […]
if these hands could draw, sketch the visions dancing if these hands could paint, dappled colors of the horizon if this voice could sing, the harmonies of true love if these words could speak, the thoughts pure as sunlight but there is a disconnect, between brain and body a schism, that refutes refrains, redesigns, defies, […]
a pulsating traffic jam driven directly into the aorta no less consensual a hypodermic filled with angry bees shot directly into the trachea mainlining electricity from the junction box a lightning bolt epidural two meteors on a collision course with a cantaloupe hovering just on the edge of consciousness screaming underwater in bold type italics […]
the music plays softly your face against my chest as we sway in time to the band you are a dream to me one i never thought could come true let’s dance through the night feel my arms wrapped around you my lips on your forehead as you look up at me the rest of […]
no one looks happy at the laundromat, dour faces and spinning loads faces staring at phones, children running about bored, at least the ones without phones to stare at we all air our dirty laundry at some point, why not in a building dedicated to it let the cyclical cleansing begin the dirt and stains […]
nin closer comes on the stereo, windows go down, volume goes up i have always been partial to ministry but today this song resonates something primal inside of me lack of filter, filled with need, i sing it straight to you across the void it says everything i am thinking echos that growing out inside […]
in another world lying in bed with music wasting all the day let me sing softly to you my heart belongs in your hands in another time my hand stroking your long hair your hand on my chest the sweet warmth of your body pressed so tightly against mine drifting into you the place i […]
i am lost how many pills did i dry swallow on an empty stomach while searching the room for you what day is it too many without you my head is fuzzy my brain is stuck in a loop of destitution another soundless scream written from the bowels of loneliness trapped in this repetitive prison […]
as sleep takes me, dream calls to me, a vision dances in my head, ephemeral mists sway fade away, fade away the day is just a reflection of nights cold embrace fade away, fade away fall through the pinhole in the construction paper sky fear constricts as sleep calls, dream calls with rusty chains, the […]
take my eyes, just know you accept her smile burnt into your mind take my heart, the arrhythmia taps out her name in a constant need take my soul, a lodestone that pulls in whatever direction her heart lies just burn me into ash and spread them across the ocean, let them eventually wash up […]
as he walked across the broken glass strewn all over the floor he realized it was the sound as much as the cutting that got to him like a car on a gravel road crunching shifting with every pained step the song sang softly into his ears kept him going on ever onward from one […]
i fell for you faster than the time between unclasping your bra to it hitting the floor my teeth like those of the long zipper down your skirt my breath the silken scarf around your throat my words wrapped to bind your wrists together against the headboard my intentions running up your thigh my dreams […]
the distance between screams the man i am now from who i was to who i may still become so many times i lied that i ran out of words that didn’t sing true excuses fell apart like dream in the first moments of waking now i navigate the distance between seeking the path that […]
i want to lose myself in your eyes let all the broken fall away and find the solace of your perfection it would be so easy to do most of the day is spent dreaming it, the rest wishing it were here and now what would you do if i told you that i love […]
whisper lies into my greedy ears, i will swallow them whole this hunger for anything is tantamount tell me your secrets, let me spin the finest silk of your slippery truths i will be your vault as long you remember not to feed me when the moon is full your sovereign source of stability ignore […]
ramshackle house of horrors, haunted meat suit filled with pain, logistical nightmare given shape of insular sullen sorrow today’s a day to run away dancing around the mulberry bush, the rabid monkey chased the foolish poet, on his back it sprang, he screamed out in pain pop goes the blood vessel
when i die don’t look to my words for answers, don’t seek hidden secrets in the reams of inconsequential odes to her grab my ipod, a gift from my daughter years ago dust it off, hope it keeps a charge, pop in the earphones and listen there you will find me, the real me, not […]
The mountain rumbled. The Gods spoke through rocky spire. We asked what their will was and it rumbled more. The priests said all was well. I sent a sacred ox to Zeus anyway. That was last night. Today I awoke to the mountain belching black smoke. Lord Apollo and his fiery chariot were nowhere to […]
she is the razor across my wrist, the spike on the monitor, the hemlock coated kiss that brings about my merciful end together we are kerosene and flame, the thin ice cracking beneath unsteady steps, the first hesitant shifting of an avalanche i am the retreating tide, she is the tsunami, the eye of my […]
she crashed into me head first time froze as pieces of her passed through me incorporeal bits of one another, phantasms blending and morphing until the parts that exited were no longer the same as the ones that began a bleeding over then suddenly she was imprinted on my every cell i would never be […]
it began with a snake a serpent coiled in the shape of a heart, lying still in her cold chest when i went to massage her chilled skin in an effort to return a semblance of life to her blue lips that’s when it struck the venom coursing through my veins pain and sheer pleasure […]
small towns in texas are like time warps into another age howdy and y’all, big hair on the ladies, big mustaches on the men pickup trucks and farmers sitting in gas stations talking about fertilizer and breach births everyone knows the sheriff as he does his daily rounds syrupy thick accents and raised eye brows […]
she stood with a smirk that read danger and gleam in her eyes that said it was too late so you’re the poet i nodded unsure of her intent do you write to get women i shook my head as confusion settled in she was lovely a petite lady with eyes of fire and lips […]
the sun filled the world with vibrance, a light wind from the east, apparent by the old fashioned weather vane, gently kissed the land and it felt so goddamned disrespectful the day is perfect, seventy degrees without a cloud in the sky and i sit in the car watching the tractor dig into the hard […]
the birds in the bush are stuck in a loop, a glitch in the program that runs the simulation normally they trill a happy little song, this morning it sounds like a skipping record i look for other signs the world is devolving, stay away from the news though, too depressing the world won’t end […]
i felt the eyes upon me as i walked like a prickle on the back of my neck making the hairs stand i could sense something with a tremendous hunger staring me down it was all i could do not to release my bladder and run screaming but i maintained my outward calm like a […]
flashes of light, blinding, disconcerting they run in the shadows the tapping of claws across the floor don’t be scared shh your panic draws them the scent of fear in the air an intoxicating musk what was that probably nothing the lights messing with your pupils making it hard to focus it sounds closer closer […]
all we are is bags of hollow bones and lost dreams, barely sentient animals filled with the emptiness between cells trickling electricity, slowly falling apart yet beautiful there is something magical in the freak show of life, the happy coincidence of humans being hollow bones and fluidity, held together by butcher parchment and rubbery bits […]
he stood on the porch as the last rays of sunlight crept beneath gentle curve of the horizon he didn’t see any of it his eyes were focused elsewhere, on a different vista, on another vision of beauty when he was a boy the encroaching night was to be feared, to be reviled with night […]
(erase) me, (delete) me from your mind, sleep without my presence, this obnoxious dream i personify nails across a chalkboard, scissors down your spine, a spider dancing on your forehead did you know that it was love at first light, infatuation by candle, desire in the glow of the moon (release) me, (take) me, like […]
i am darkness seeping from the hidden stars, warlock, black cat with emerald eyes peering into the shadowed soul my blood drips across the soil, poppies sprout from the crimson rain, their milk bringing visions of madness to all she is the spot of purity in the oil of my soul, the glimmering light of […]
it all crumble the false resolve the hope the smile plastered on so they didn’t know anything was wrong all week now they are gone faking it isn’t an option any longer i have held the wolves baying at the door off for as long as possible but that time is done can’t recall the […]
graffiti, every written ode to her was just spray paint in a public urinal, ignored after awhile, grown to become just another eyesore in the day to day i became just a panhandler at the street corner begging for the small change glances she have to every other grubby loser with a cleverly written sign […]
tell me sweet little lies all day, i will believe them, innocuous little tales of fancy but don’t build up false hope, make a teetering tower of glass dreams around me i can sift through the facades of a hundred falsehoods, i cannot take another foolish hope gone bad use your slippery tongue to knit […]
they called him the Scaleless Demon his relentless quest to kill their entire kind was well known across the entire isle they were hunted slain no parley no reasons given just endless slaughter they were trapped the waters were a certain death as much as him as the last was murdered the island cleansed the […]
is it possible to be a self hating narcissist to dislike the reflection yet still reflect the behaviors of one who does if you can see the signs acknowledge their existence is it still possible to throw yourself over the side of the boat in the pursuit of yourself it isn’t a question of evil […]
it’s pure agony i am at my breaking point relief is hopeless cannot recall lacking pain it has infused my being my broken figure torn asunder by torment left huddled in bed unable to fall asleep no end to relentless ache
i wish you were here wrapped in my cocoon of need my arms around you my lips on your gentle neck your warmth keeping me sustained
the me i was moments ago died to allow me to be the person i am now i worry he died in vain did he take the coward’s way out to avoid the pain of life as this version fades in the dull ache as well i feel envious if there were a way to […]
we are all just lies electrical impulses behind glass doll eyes temporarily lost to forever daydreams locked into meaningful never do you yearn to dance among the stars that burned out long before your birth to savor the taste of true romance a flavor that is more like a curse i have broken my vows […]
i see my book on the shelf, feel the emptiness in my chest, the triple sixes branded on my throat every journey around the sun another notch on the wall, another sliver of myself gone sold my soul for a chance at light, eternity for a glimpse of you, left it all at the fork […]
in his mind he composes a dissertation on the many reasons his heart dances with the mere thought of her he scribbles odes of need and desire into the electron void, hoping one will catch her eye and convince her of his value falling, falling, into the forever of her gaze, a speck of dust […]
lenticular dismay strikes another beholden viewer, rancor and filed down to the bare nerve endings of another life wasted land fill in the blanks of trash heaped to overflowing prose into the aether that only seems to grow between us whispered words of wonder, whimsy, weighted with wistfully worrisome writs it’s all a game, with […]
blessed be by the sisters of perpetual misery, raked across the flames of sin by ravenous demons left to flutter like a tattered rag in the howling winds of eternity
