(un)titled dark
her image colors my every thought while her absence darkens my every day
Tag: poem
be careful what you wish
and there the fool lays finally home finally back in the one fortress of solitude after so long away the tortoise ripped from the shell to find a bucket to hide in from the rain. and there the fool lays unable to find a position to grasp onto sleep he so desperately seeks in the […]
storms
lightning in the sky flashing just over the wing of the plane stabbing across the sky in jagged arcs dancing as dallas comes into view the savage beauty of voltage flaring at the same height as the cityscape comes into view through the misty haze of heavy clouds i cannot see my apartment from up […]
two bleaks
two weeks culminating in a frantic five hours of testing of practicals of sitting in traffic of standing in security of waiting for the flight to board in three hours i will be farther from you in a place that is homeless without your presence two weeks culminating in depression in loneliness in heading to […]
last morning checkout
one headphone in i against i by bad brains playing loudly in my head careless whisper playing in the hotel lobby there feels like a certain fitting theme to this on the final day of training before flying back to dusty dallas a placid giraffe on my shirt slip on vans comfy basketball shorts for […]
bitter black memories
no matter how much money you make how many acres you own the pile of corpses left behind still catch the eye drill for oil for natural gas mine for ore for diamonds take take take take take all we leave behind is the corpse of the only thing sustaining us in the vast emptiness […]
second to last day
missing mitochondria make missing home a hypochondriac nightmare homesick homespun home made hopeless hellstrings leading back to tattered wellsprings of winsome wonder so tired of the same four walls that aren’t the same four walls of a bed and breakfast prison of someone else’s idea of comfort the mitochondria are missing in a pool of […]
hellevator
there was blood pooled at the edge of the elevator door i pressed the button hoping against hope a different car would answer as the lights flickered above the stench of copper buzzing of flies loud too loud filling my skull coating my tongue the bell sounds it is hell the hellevator i chuckle as […]
early morning crisis
oscillating between moments of serene fancy and fanciful sinking into the sloughing swamps of sorrow torn apart in the midst of creative inspiration and existential devastation to drown slowly damn the rivers the torpedos the ever melting ice shelf he sits at the beach hoping the oceans rise to sweep him away
subvocal silence
he was an unreticent disbeliever a vocal minority in the subvocal hymnals that made him null he swung by his neck in the hot summer breeze from the uplifting branches of the downcast trees let the crows feast as the crowds stand watching in horrified curiosity at another light snuffed by the grinding of gears […]
reflection/rejection
i find in my numbed movements i am far more likely to retract than react to deflect than accept i am a distraction with little emotional attraction just another faceless drone roaming the streets alone
week two day one
the lobby is dead this morning no line at breakfast no families just me and the russians and their loaf of bread everyone else went home the new crew hasn’t arrived four more mornings of this typical cyclical routine of drudgery it feels so lonely as they play soft rock saxophones echoing in the domed […]
hotel breakfast III
the pina colada songs plays as the table of russians toast an entire loaf of bread for the two of them a stooped old man in a long black robe surveys the room searching for something the sadness in his eyes tells me he will not find amidst the bacon and sausage laden plates while […]
a painting of lilies
there is a painting of lilies on the wall behind the toilet been on the road for a week spending the weekend in the hotel in the northern suburbs of atlanta for work training shuttle to class shuttle to the hotel shuttle to the store shuttle to the airport limo to the apartment shuffle to […]
res-q
rescue me from myself give me shelter from yon blowing storms collapsible like the pitter patter of softly falling tears on cracked linoleum wishes
heart search and seizure
the sanguine seas of bitter truthscorn dance languidly across the windows of divine misfortune raven feathers whipped into daggers like malignant scars flutter across barren wastelands of the heart a scourge of amniotic waves amidst the half-truth horrors impregnating themselves across fallow virtues reticent rejoinders bridge past insults to future imperfections like a carpenter beset […]
embassy in the morning
we switched hotels due to errant alarms disturbing rest from faulty wiring only for the faulty wiring in my brain to be highlighted by the sudden change in scenery the ramshackle everyday people replaced by a higher class of lowlife as i sit angrily tapping the screen of another pointless piece of prose written in […]
funeral parade
like a funeral shroud has been draped over happiness the light snuffed the moth burned to a cinder in fleeting hopes of home surrounded by faces that seem indistinct undefined all i feel is a pebble in my shoe i cannot shake loose the depression lays her itchy love across my weary mind it seems […]
sun shade
the window of the van is bleary the sun is blurry the world is a just another inconsistent meandering that makes me question if any of it is real if any of it is worth it if all the inconsequential thoughts that make up the firing synapses mean anything at all
waves
he stands still as his insides rock on the waves of exhaustion the more they try to teach the less able he is to absorb it so he does what he can the breaker against the waves
one a.m. fire drill
jagged glass across the inner ear scraping lines of gray matter with claws extended flashing lights impending doom the fire alarm is broken like my sleep the hotel is a cacophony of all the sins i have cast like lines of barbed wire down my soul
hear advisory
sitting at the boomerang shaped bar eating oatmeal and staring at the news there is a heat advisory in effect for the greater atlanta area today i find myself surrounded by germans the dry air in the hotel has everyone breathing heavily with constant clearing of throats dark coffee with half and half in little […]
second night at homewood
there is something about a freezing hotel room that kicks the brain into a strange percolation of thoughts impossible to have at home these quasars start to blossom behind the delicate mask of trying to fit into being a human being whole being far from where you wish you were so you spiral as the […]
jangly
he unashamedly struts with his fanny pack zipper jangling across the open lobby coffee clutched thinning hair jelled to a clutch of barren tree limbs smile that says to the world he knows but he doesn’t care
half awake
the king size bed feels even emptier for the excess of pillows the hallways echo from vacationing families yet the walls just stand in silence i have a view of the pool from the room but pulled the shades closed unwilling to imagine a time when this could be a pleasurable excursion two hour flight […]
early morning at homewood
the hotel lobby is filled with grumpy faces surveying the powdered eggs too dark coffee over watery oatmeal with the same disdain they must have for a piece of dog shit on the too hot for too early sidewalk no talking no smiles just sullen disapproval monday morning in a strange town with nothing to […]
terminally waiting
chaos churning as everyone seems either uptight or talking too loudly into phones this terminal feels terminal everything feels as if it teeters on a crux in the midst of accidental fatalities fatalistically fanning the flames of fearful reproach i am petulant in the face of fate flicking her fickle middle finger in my face […]
the box
when she left she emptied every bit of her clothes from her side of the closet he returned home from work to find half of apartment unvacated her side of the bed was pillowless her photos off the walls her lotions makeups soaps shampoos gone he dreaded opening the closet knowing it would be half […]
lost in truth
he bounces into the room with that manic energy of someone fresh off of rehab and still high on the the idea that the path to finding oneself is attainable it’s the third time he has done this the third time he has found his truth the third time he cast aside the blinders on […]
morning smile
beneath the heavy make up her skull grins up at me surrounded by silken cushions in the laquered wooden box that is now her home soon to be interred in the lonely soil once she smiled with the freshness of morning glinting in her eyes now those same eyes are taped closed in perpetual night […]
amber regret
the glass of amber whiskey reflects the flickering candle with the promise of dulling the ache of filling the emptiness of quieting the doubts he stares out the window at the traffic on the road bitter at his lack of destination remorseful in his inaction alone the clothes tumble in the washing machine the horns […]
flashes
these brief moments of lucidity flashes of normality calm waters in the churning rapids of insanity these times are scarier by far when you see the landscape for what it is see through the rough and tumble fantasy
rings
she walks majestically down the street unaware of her natural gravitational pull i float along the periphery like so much space dust making up one of the many that surround her just random debris until the light she radiates hits just at the right angle then suddenly she is orbited by rings as beautiful as […]
arteries
the night was filled with visions of things impossible to conceive the day was filled with doldrums impossible to ignore the city is awake yet fitfully so moving in small shudders as if congested with too many tiny clots spread all along the arterial passages from here to there i am a red blood cell […]
2842
laissez faire at the laser fair lazy but fair in complexion lackadaisical in varied complications she runs worried fingers over well worn rosaries reciting bible verses with a practiced tongue trained in prayer by the undevout devotionals
gray clouds
the gray clouds threaten but just hang in malaise over the day like the stern look of disapproval from an old man watching children play at the park
vermillion
the blood sea boiled waves of crimson with white tips churning in my veins
sudden stop
there was no freer feeling as a kid than flying down the steepest hill in town on our bikes sure there was a busy road at the bottom with no real view of either direction and the river was directly on the other side but pushing off at the summit feeling the wobble as you […]
self amputee
a summer day in a bright and deceitful august he stumbles about in full plate armor designed to protect himself from untold danger that lives only in his mind jumping at shadows hearing whispers on the breeze he manages to exist long forgoing living finding it to be safer if bland letting the seconds tick […]
cliff
he ignored the warning signs as he skipped along the edge of cliff choosing ignorance as his saving grace eyes set upon the ending he imagined not the one in front of him so when loose soil began to irrevocably fall he found himself tumbling over to a certain death he had no one to […]
key to the willow pt XIV
curiosity need fear a confluence of emotions culminating in once frenetic goal the door on top of the faerie wing spiral staircase of ivory three desperate naked emotions where do three separate paths converge except in absolute chaos the hero clawing his way to the sunlight that was but a flickering star in the distance […]
sullen sunset
a lonesome heartbeat echoes out into the heat of early evening a ping like a sonar bouncing back to show an empty ocean devoid of life a derelict vessel lost on the waves of another sullen sunset at sea the albatross rides the wind above as he writes another missive to float in a bottle […]
sinshine
the sun spit venom down upon the land in raylashes of angry defilement vehemently stricken not by ozone depletion but recompense for sins as yet unbegotten raze the land of unfettered dead souls chained to the furrows of languished denial sinshine falling like daggers of malice from the unblinking orb in the cerulean sky
key to the willow pt XIII
he climbed slowly leaving fingernails in the cracked earth around him a flurry of stones fell bouncing off of his back his arms one struck his forehead he was forced to blink perspiration and blood from his eyes but he never stopped as the light came ever closer he wondered at what had triggered the […]
time
when he was younger he fought time with savage fury now he toothlessly gums it while he feels it’s fangs tearing deep into muscle fighting is a young man’s game while trying to exist is his only feeble play left drowning as the sand piles up to cover his face as he pounds the side […]
frostbitten
her silence perfectly encapsulates the sound of ice cracking at subzero temperatures in the middle of nowhere on a frozen january evening as you walk down the dark trail in search of shelter from the elements knowing at least three toes are blackened in the wet socks that feel as if l they weigh three […]
rage
it doesn’t matter to them if you are sick or just unhealthy or unstable or being treated for a condition you were born with they expect the same as they would any other pawn on the chess board to fight to die for the queen in service of the greater good but hold them to […]
photo
they used to fear that having your photograph taken would steal your soul now we take selfies send them to whatever demons will still take our call in an effort to forge new deals for the same threadbare bit of fluff dead eyes with pursed lips staring at a point somewhere just northsouth of vapid […]
sleeping as the world burns
the bed is on fire the flames lick the ceiling all i can do is try and find a position to lie in that keeps the heat even careful to roll over every hour or so to ensure even grill marks from the white hot coils a blanket of ash a pillow of charred memories […]
key to the willows pt XII
the wildlife froze as if becoming statues around her she clutched her bear close to her chest the shaking stopped the dust settled but the air had a taste of wrong to it at once the world erupted into motion starting with every bird in the forest taking to the sky at once in a […]
2 years
two years ago i had an idea to make a blog that dealt with being single in the modern age being single in the modern age broke open the well of depression i have always dealt with i was forced to look at myself in a new way through new lenses and give up the […]
key to the willow pt XI
she hunched down low over the rim of the crater her nostrils flared as she smelled the scent of far away of freedom and the hint of something else could this be the key to doorway high amongst the willows she couldn’t be sure couldn’t trust another false hope after all of the years she […]
confusion
disassociation by displacement the grid has become interlaced with negative discharge disengaged by dissimilar degenerative disorders the decision making process has become weighed down with uncertain certainties making the overall picture a haze of overlaid images underpaid yet over privileged regression recession oppression aggression repression the ceiling drips with misspoken promises made in the heat […]
thursdays in hell
a constant grinding maw of molars crushing the cyclical lifestyle of living minute to minute in pursuit of ideals just ever so tantalizingly out of grasp the parking garage is angry with squealing tires going five miles per hour around hairpin turns to find a nest to roost in for the next couple hours the […]
kite
he floats on emotional currents like a kite bare skin catching the airy dismissals going ever higher until in an instant they turn into concrete to crush his flimsy sense of self into a ball of loss splayed across the barren earth he sees the hawks drift in lazy circles the ravens watching from the […]
pointedly pointless
another coin tossed into the wishing well another wasted quarter another unheard plea shackled to the dream of belief of hope of tattered rags spun into formal wear the mice turned into horses to pull the pumpkin coach cinderella worked her hands to the bone to die penniless while her step sisters married into nobility […]
elevators
the sides of the elevator were made of glass as i rose higher floor by floor it became indistinct if i was rising or if the building around me was lowering the rational part of my brain said of course i was going higher by means of pulleys and cables but the dreamer wondered if […]
differences
the difference between propaganda and advertisement is which side of the poverty line you find yourself on butterfly or moth both desperately hungry as a caterpillar to sleep in the same cocoons the only difference between prison and gated community is the location of the razor wire if they want you in or out
train
i have always loved by the train tracks there is something soothing about the rumble rattle of them passing in the middle of the night the fascination of the former coal fueled metal dragons crossing the landscape like blood cells following the iron arteries the wild west was conquered by the train and telegraph the […]
dallas at 11:36am
she shuffles down the sidewalk in a dirty pair of slippers with smiley face socks crying softly to herself as she listens to a voice on the other end of the phone he walks down the street with the cocky swagger of someone who has absolutely no clue about the state of affairs around him […]
too early to be so damn late
the elevator smelled like urine with flickering yellowed tubes above dirty green linoleum beneath the empty hallways seemed like something right out of a horror film a squeaking sound from around one of the blind corners set his nerves on edge the cleaning woman smiled nicely as he swallowed the lump in his throat smiling […]
an oil painting of the fool
he is leather parchment stretched against a screaming skeleton and miles of veins filled with sludge like sorrow all that separates him from the yawning chasm of hell inspired fantasy is the tethered weather worn soul like the flag forgotten in the wars of time long gone the poor bastard
scintilla
when the group refused to read my writings a scintilla of doubt was planted within me when they leapt to read the other writers the scintilla blossomed into a bush with prickly thorns days later the scintilla become bush has become a forest and none of the words feel right i sit on the bleachers […]
(un)feeling
the difference between accident and miracle is the same slight thread between prayer and pleading the raven watches uncaring from it’s roost in the roots of rancorous ridicule i listen to sylvia plath read her poetry the oven light left on in an absurdist bit of hope to gather her spirit to bless my quill […]
roulette(dealing)
i play this game called dealing with the world roulette in order to deal with the world i take copious amounts of drugs then get as much accomplished as possible before the drugs make it impossible usually i get my shoes on slump over sleep the day away dreaming of all the bastards i narrowly […]
dream tale
i dreamt in this dream i dreamt i was handed a book i frowned confused and flipped the tissue paper pages with little tchochkies attached each story was one i had only dreamed but forgotten yet as the pages turned i recalled each with vividness it was a lovely tome that turns to smoke as […]
glimpse
i saw that boy in the mirror again this morning. i am sure i have mentioned it before but it has been a couple months since the last time. i was brushing my teeth and trying my best to get ready for work when i noticed him staring over my shoulder. he looked at my […]
meaning
the light filters through the blinds through the smoke in wavy lines across the empty room the orange ember of the lit cigarette reflected back from the dead television screen the only sign of life flares occasionally the crackle of tobacco an accompaniment to the lazy exhale the birds are silent or he is deaf […]
piano
he couldn’t play the piano but he could bang his frustrations feelings of hopelessness out on the keys he couldn’t dance but he could thrash his limbs to and fro in time with the beat he couldn’t face himself but he could pretend to try he knew he would never play piano but he banged […]
gates of heaven and hell
the gates to heaven shook as his heart threatened to escape the confines of his chest pearlescent bricks turned to shrapnel to tumble down through the clouds meteors crashing to the earth shuddering with every impact as his breath caught in his throat agony ecstacy wrapped in a death grip as his stomach dropped to […]
end
i wore a sandwich board that reads the end has come and gone this is the after party the aftermath after mass has reached critical levels tipped the scales it is all downhell from here no one cared so i set myself on fire feeding undifference with indifference unvisible in the invisible light of the […]
former revolutionary
it was evolutionary the bleeding out of the revolutionary from the spiral strands of who i was the rubber bullets clouds of pepper spray lost their appeal when it became clear that both sides were the same coin reflections refractions of the same hands moving the chess pieces across the invisible gradient now my anarchist […]
knight falls
i had set out on my search for her envisioning myself as galahad or possibly lancelot astride my charger yet as i charge windmills another series of mistaken dragons i realize i always knew which knight-errant i truly was the worry was would she see me as i am or just another rust covered fool […]
crickets
pouring yourself onto the page whether in fiction or prose is a sentimental vulnerable thing when you feel as if no one supports your spillage it makes it that much more difficult to give when the taking is all you feel he sits alone in his car listening to the bugs the crickets hidden in […]
difference
the words dance just out of reach behind a wall of pressure they long to be laid out upon the page but circle like dust motes if i squint hard enough i can see the pattern but the difference between squint and closed is negligible so i long to sleep and silence them
diary
every page of my personal diary on public display public dismay the letters spread out for easy consumption common assumption assuming the truth in the things they choose to define from the diction the dictionary defining the terms they choose to ignore to abhor relying on the defiance perpetual reliance on the words between the […]
scurvy shanty part the second
the hail of cannon fire rocked the deck the smell of copper filled the air the scream of the main riggings drowned out by the screams of the dead and dying the captain shouted orders as plumes of black smoke rose from the english ship the red coated soldiers clung desperately to whatever they could […]
secretly
the river vomited her secrets into the sea part and parcel leaving it all bare to the salty waters of inconsequential dream the sea gives her heart to the skies in vaporous lust manifested into storm clouds that cling to the edge of forever as i sit on the rocks watching with a longing to […]
feast
she awoke in her satin lined bed as the sun set softly to the west her first thought as eyes snapped open was that of hunger desire need she rose her diaphanous white gown streaming in the cool breeze behind her down the rough hewn stone lined passages she moved bare feet making no sound […]
(w)reck
reckless but not wreckless left a trail of broken parts behind dominant from the submissive state in charge at the working end of the whip now tighten the collar but know the one thing unknown is how to utter the safe word
like that
it’s the sudden silence the sudden stop from the go go go to the emptiness of falling in newtonian liquids it is a silence that either is deafening or a precursor to having gone deaf dead numbed left out to dry in the sun salted filetted preserved in amber the candle snuffed out as the […]
key to the willow pt X
he woke wracked with pain unaware of where he had fallen he remembered the feeling of stomach in his throat as the vacuum of space wrapped around him like a lover’s embrace he was surrounded by darkness flat on his back slowly he got up craned his neck to see a spot of blue far […]
scurvy shanty
the quartermaster ran to the deck with a tattered piece of paper clenched in his gnarled scurvy ridden hands the seas were boiling the skies dark gray punctuated with strikes of purple lightning the captain navigated the deck with peg leg tapping heavily on the salt water soaked wood his sunken eyes dinner plate sized […]
key to the willow pt IX
out of the cave she took her first tentative steps into the dust filled sky the meteor fell as she had foretold while staring into her cauldron of bubbling brew the rains would come soon thundering across the forest to shake the very spiralling steps at which lay the one thing she desires over all […]
key to the willow pt VIII
she felt the earth tremble beneath bare feet as the branches swayed heavily on the shockwaves she curled into a ball as the dust clouds swept down into the forest the last thing she saw was a spark grow ever closer from the bright star in the ladle in the sky her bear clutched tightly […]
dentata dementia
a luxurious massage scraping enamel from tender tooth decay with bare roots left to rot in fluoride springs the tenacious tongues whispered sonnets of flaccid bridge collapse each pore a gasping whore in the humid dentata dementia
amethyst
she wore an amethyst ring but i never noticed it so enthralled with her smile it never dawned on me to look at her hands purple is my favorite color amethyst my favorite stone it is her birthstone she said suddenly it went from my favorite color my favorite gem to an embodiment of her […]
(un)titled joy
we laughed like unholstered pistols danced like brandished blades we stood out like tendons strung on a giants wrist when the cannons fired across the eastern sky the commotion awoke the monsters from deep slumber still we smiled like freshly stropped razors glinting across the marbled seas
crooked halo
she left me handcuffed to the bedpost with no warning just smiled that sweet little smile then proceeded to walk out of the room fully nude my wrists are chafed my shoulders ache i hear her in the other room on the phone with her mother i would call out but the ball gag is […]
litter
he watched the empty plastic bag blow around the parking lot he watched wondering was it an apt allegory for him part of him screamed no but deep down it felt correct
scar tissue
i would roll up my sleeves to face the day but the left shoulder is at thirty percent mobility covered in sweat as i roll out of bed already too tired to face the same day as yesterday one day is the same as tomorrow as the one that came before as the one that […]
key to the willow pt VII
he stood at the edge of polaris listening to the faintest of sounds then smiled sadly let himself slip off the edge to plummet like another fallen star himself the witch brayed like a mule with a toothache inside her cave loud enough to rattle the bones that hung from stalactites all around her but […]
jitter
jittery over caffeinated under slept drained at the speed of sound enraptured in the speed of love chained to the radiator of one thousand suns pulsating pure anxiety into the brain stem of tomorrow
wolves
he couldn’t tell if the world was outside his door or if it was a wolf lurking in the night he figured out the secret to the maze was to run headlong into every wall to make his own trail to the center of the illusion he didn’t know if the howling was the wind […]
three separate ads; one author
help needed: he had become the invisible man. it was gradual at first. but then he looked in the mirror and he was gone. everywhere he went he was like a ghost. his voice the rustle of autumn leaves. lost: childlike wonder and hope. last seen forever ago. i miss you. come home. for sale: […]
(un)titled filth
the millipede ran down my spine as i sat sipping whiskey from a styrofoam cup staring at the world through booze tinted malaise in boxers and a yellow sweat stained shirt from the balcony of another dead end realization the dripping water from the faucet played an echoed hellfire orchestra on an already damaged head […]
as one
a glass box hung with care two hearts intertwined pinned across a field of lavender a raven’s feather in alabaster white a sketch of an aardvark imposed upon starry night a rabbit with dragon wings another rabbit on it’s back with eyes wide filled with adoration a yin yang two halves swirled a glass box […]
inkling
i am bad at being a human bad at understanding at signals at most things never an inkling never a clue just shuffle along this mortal coil with downcast eyes one foot in front of the other doing my best at not doing what i do best which is usually doing the wrong thing at […]
key to the willow pt VI
the ribbons hung limply as she stared out at the staircase she wondered if faeries really existed if one could see her would come to her set her free from the shackles of fear she sighed long and low as tears welled in her eyes the ivory stairs reflecting the bars of sunlight across the […]
M Ennenbach, author of “Notches” – Your Next Beach Read
https://yournextbeachread.com/2019/07/16/m-ennenbach-author-of-notches/ The Fool is your next Beach Read! Still a ton of summer left to grab a copy of Notches for your beach lounging. Notches: A Collection https://www.amazon.com/dp/1950259102/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_k9DlDbE2PEFRG All typos are voice to text as I did the questions while driving and let it lie like it was. I thought it was funny. There is […]
Mike's Manic Word Depot 