docile dismality

the quiet oppressively coats everything except the dishwater an ocean echoing from the kitchen with soothing waves i fall into the rhythm reminded of the womb when the vacant heartbeat was no promise of sundered wounds but carried hope before the understanding that just because it is the first sound i heard doesn’t necessarily make […]

extinguished

she set me down gently swaddled in false adoration on the shredded newspaper littered floor in a glinting cage of golden words spun from the dying heart of hope. if she cast a nickel to my feet for every sovereign lie bespoke in earnest tones the avalanche of silver coins would be enough to bury […]

magnolias

the heavy waxy leaves of the magnolia trees hang low over the empty sidewalks staring out over a city that has been so busy for so long now left quiet only missing the tumbleweed blowing across the dusty streets to finish the ghost town facade a haze of pollen glints in the air like yellow […]

emp(t)

the empty highways of a city on lockdown afraid of everything it feels like a holiday except for us poor bastards headed to work

steel wool bedding

it’s the little things the incidental contact the secret looks the smell of her hair on the pillow a million microscopic instances of her that make the gaping void where she once sat feel fathomless in scope the world carries a her shaped hole that all the light seems to pour into leaving nothing but […]

another empty poem

in his mind she was a buffet of extravagance a feast for hungry eyes for tasting tongue for savage desire a cornucopia of earthly pleasures wrapped in the most delightful package he was hungry as well he realized mixing metaphors combining hungers knowing neither would be satisfied with empty turns of phrase empty ability to […]

sunshine halcyon

i was reading hank and pablo this evening, class for three straight days made my mind exhausted, the constant pain keeps my body lethargic, all in all it has me feeling sub par in every way between the two of them there isn’t a goddamned thing worth writing, no expression to be expressed, no dream […]

koi

orange and black koi dart across the shadow dappled pond feast and fuck no thought no sense i feel envious stress overthinking i wonder how… no it is serene in the yin yang pool the water flows gently over the dark black stones bamboo a dragonfly flits between the petals of the yunzhu flowers the […]

hol(low)

she feels hollow oh, how he understands it is not the pain that kills it is the emptiness the lack of release the ice cold grip of the void so much better to be a canvas coated with agony than blank left to rot in the attic a slow demise suffocation in an inch of […]

(un)titled sorrow VI

it is cold in here the emptiness seems to compound it wherever you are i hope it is peaceful warm happy that the sun shines down upon you the ravens of sorrow do not mar your view there is a murder of them circling overhead here untouched by the cold

new day

cockroach in the coffee cup he takes errant sips brown against the brown brush against the lips a new day dawns maggots in the soft cheese mold on the bread everything is tainted happiness is dead a new day dawns the face staring back from the mirror is unfamiliar, laugh lines like headstones, reminders of […]

archeological losings

minor league archeologist combing through the strata of pain hoping for the find of the century the root of all self hatred he excavated layer after layer with cramped hands bleeding and blistered it bubbles to the surface in waves of radiating sorrow it all seems so abundant, he’s become redundant, just another case of […]

impoverished

suffering a deficit of fundamental necessity hollow raised to expect nothing to desire nothing i’m a scarecrow watching the barren fields crows perched on my shoulders ignoring my basic functions in favor of a clearer view to tomorrow i sip from a flask of distilled spirit listless going through the emotions of the day has […]

empty shoe boxes, empty promises

how many pairs of shoes have been worn to nothing in my constant pursuit of escapism buy them by the dozen mastered the art of changing mid step nothing better than fresh kicks before being kicked to the curb vans and doc’s left on the side of the road like so many lost chances follow […]

like insomnia

hold me like insomnia, love me like depression, fill the empty half of the bed i can never quite lay in for fear of crushing your memory, in memorial of what slipped like grains of sand through the hourglass shape of you in my mind wrap your arms around me like pain, paint my skin […]

pretend

even in dream in a world of pretend when my mind is free to make believe it is an empty void while awake grand visions dance and frolic but when all is quiet it is that distinct lack of anything that smothers my head shhh no need to remind that she doesn’t exist let me […]

971

she asked for a face to face to face the face i face when i close my eyes and the faceless faces of past pain stares into my eyes through tears and barely restrained restraint i strained to face disdain and stain evaluating the reevaluation of revelation and evangelical restitution she, a different she than […]

bleached

i have taken to drinking bleach in an effort to whiten the lies, to soften the cries, in the hopes the agony dies misery loves company yet i always find myself alone ironic in the sense irony is irrationally less iron than silt tragedy breeds insolence and apathy, but i could care less, a self […]

lunar lunacy

the moon was lined up perfectly between the buildings that rise into the sky beside me reflecting off of the tapping buildings in either side it cast three pale orbs i stared at it and felt the as if entire world was off three moons affecting the tides pushing down on me while calling out […]

depression tanka

twice damn you sorrow depression holds my black heart squeezing like a hug taking all that is happy and filling it with sweet doubt curse you for this pain bottomless flows of sadness damn you bitterness leave me alone for one day find a new joy to smother i already know the depths of your […]

an episode of twilight zone

sometimes i look for a camera behind the picture frame this can’t be my life i fell asleep and woke up in the twilight zone as i slept rod serling came out and introduced my episode tonight we take all happiness and joy away from this man when he wakes up everything good will be […]

i just need some brains

i’ve got a gurgling in my guts an ache in my neck jackhammers going off in my skull i’ve got an emptiness in my chest that no amount of drugs can ever fill a hollow place that keeps getting bigger just string up caution tape and hope no one falls in it’s a bottomless pit […]