anxiety says hello

my saliva tastes like batteries a sort of charged copper numbing my mouth my heart hammers a bird in a cage by an open window as a tornado begins swirling above the same as the bird a change in atmospheric pressure in grinding my hollowbones to diamond anxiety criscrosses my innocent soulshatter razorwire for the […]

umbrella

an umbrella rests next to the door for as long as i can remember i have left an umbrella resting next to the door i never use it when it is raining i just duck my head low and scurry like a rat to the car there is another in the door of the car […]

transparency

the fascination in taking things apart putting them back together understanding how the gears interlock the direction they spin tracing wires figuring out what made them function i have pulled myself into pieces a kaleidoscopic cellular breakdown to figure out what is wrong with me in the hopes of magically putting myself back together functional […]

the world screams as i seek solace

yesterday the world was silent this morning it refuses to shut the fuck up something out there has the birds in a tizzy the sun already seems too high and if i could close the blinds find a way to catch all the sleep that ignored my silent pleas and wake up in a land […]

warning: choking hazard

i choke gagging hands clutched to my throat finally the obstruction breaks free i begin vomiting flower petals onto the rainswept sidewalk a cacophony of hues puffs of airy pollen fairydashes of sweet scents a coagulation of efflorescence a symphonic swarming in blossomed decay spewed to deface the faceless face of reckless consumerism as presented […]

empty streets, empty mind

the highways are empty the city seems devoid of life no movement the windows all gone dark as i drive these winding one way corridors no longer seeking my destination just driving enjoying the solitude surrounded by concrete and glass monoliths dedications to a dead race on nine eleven i was sent home early because […]

alternating sparks

electricity has always called to me something in the alternating currents reflected something broken inside of me i fluctuate some days all i see is beauty some days all that exists is ugly dour disenfranchised disavowed disassociated disemboweled by these thoughts errant sparks a recurring theme like electricity or my broken the pattern calls to […]

(un)heard

scattereddust motesacrossthe anus of timeunable tograspsubstantialitylostin a turbulencerestlessindifference thewordsrefusetospeaktheyscreaminchoaterage insputteringgasps incapabilityin culpabilityincandescentin indecentdescents a hushed crygoes unheard

here at all

in a world of echoes i lose track of if i am real or just a tinny reverberation off the cave walls i am a distortion a mirage a shapeless shadow in the steam dripping down the mirror if i was ever truly here at all.

lingering side effects of existing

we are transient balls of energy suffused through meat golems passing from one instance to another no direction no goal just moving from one state of being to another there is a magic hidden there beneath the rot and the agonies in the search for the right chemicals to be dumped in electrified gelatin that […]

shredded

interlocking rows of teeth fed reams of paper hardened steel rollers chews and spits a basket of shredded financial confetti but no more matter the design and care it is paoer that will eventually destroy the paper shredder much the same way as life is the number one leading cause of death the things we […]

bleak. bloated.

bleak. bloated. a cascading waterfall of hellblight thunderkisses. ranting ever screaming streaming curses to the empty sky. a smattering of pretense. a caustic haze of ever firing relays a maze a blaze malaise. bleakly bloated insidiously corroded weakly exploited. a sand dune in the shape of surrender one last drink at the molotov cocktail happy […]

monster

the vampire lies awake through the day longing to feel the sun’s gentle kiss i lie awake through the night longing for you tightly wrapped in my embrace i worry in the quiet before sunrise that monsters like me are destined to pine away for the light that never shines on their rancid souls

interpretive stigmata

spent so long trying to be different to be better than i was but this leper cannot change his weeping wounds always a photo negative representation of what is reflected back from the clear waters that only show me the parts that will never be right about the aching fool drowning in three inches of […]

bad time at the fun house

in a bathysphere headed deep down fathoms beneath the jagged sawtooths cutting the surface needing the sanctity of the metal walls to keep me safe from this impending breakdown a flower pulling its petals closed reacting to barometric inconsistencies a late frost impending doom impeding rational thoughts until all there is is sheer panic a […]

wanting

sorting through these rusted rotting remnants of a life slowly pulled across razor blades hidden in the carpeted filth in a baselessly improbably petulant existence left distinctly wanting

six feet deep

too long spent wishing upon the scattered dust of dreams best left unfulfilled carrying a shovel only meant for digging my own grave as the ladies dance flowing skirts rising higher and higher until all that is left to the imagination is another set of night tremors that vanish in the early face of the […]

loopy

fallen into a loop a cycle of repeated transitional disaster not sleeping unable to think burning myself out by pushing myself too far past the brink of my home made self-extinction fantasy is it suicide working yourself to death yet never having anything to show but a sore back bloody knuckles when the only external […]

don’t overturn the turnip cart

emotional stability a suture bridging kaleidoscopic catastrophes and a meandering sense of selfless undulating regrets i walk through this garden a weed amongst the flowers a thorny disruption in the petals of sweet serendipitous regalia an unlit molotov teetering another roundabout for the unruly mob of subversives with chattering ivory fangs

translucency in staggering dismay

my thoughts are wrecking balls slowly destroying the parts of me i cannot face in the mercurial surface of my own reflected dismissal. i am a vampire draining the day of light in a perpetual thunderstorm of acidic malaise. in this translucent prison of fundamental failures of the flesh i am the warden the prisoner […]

a fair trade

i lost a hundred or so poems in the hills around dublin texas between the forests and over the fields filled with longhorns i muttered likely my greatest works little declarations to the cloudy skies and the verdant rolling hills of how none of this untamed majesty can hold a candle to you i whisper […]

wobble

the sun overslept or maybe the world spins slower than it used to but i rolled over it was still dark while i felt every off kilter revolution on a broken axis it feels like the only good sleep comes five minutes before the alarm while the rest of the restless nights are spent searching […]

fame

she came stomping through my life in a pair of dangerously high concrete stilettos mascara ran thick down alabaster skin the revolution wasn’t worthy of broadcast on the most basic tier yet she still managed to cast a funeral pall in beautiful sorrows across broadband delusionary frequencies buried in the ashes carried by bittersweet murmured […]

manic midweek mornings

it suddenly gotquietthe humof the compressorrattledbut the ambientsound ofthe waking worlddisappearedmaybe everythingand everyonesaid fuck todaycurled uprolled overextended a middle fingerto the vacancythat comes withmanic midweek morningsbut justforgot totell me. it’s nowlate afternoonand that feelingthe world around megave upthat everyoneeverythingis refrainingfrom concernseems apt. the farther ifallthe less thesensation ofthe precipitousdropregistersgiving upor justgiving inechoes the samewhen you […]

screaming in silence

i have never askedfor more than enoughhaving receivedlesser and lesseri learned to stoppraying i wouldone daymove the mountaininstead hoping justto have the strengthto walk around it. i whisper all mydesires and needsto the ceilingit feels the sameas prayersjust the ceiling existsand doesn’t hide itscasual disdain. floating on the seaslost and tiredseeing your facein the sea […]

amateur key cutter

as a kid i was always fascinated by the machine at the hardware store that made copies of keys unaware it was a simple jig that traced the edge of the original key my lack of understanding implied a sense of skill perhaps even magical in the art of duplication the simplicity of the world […]

thoroughly concussed at the fly orgy

spots dance in the corners of my vision black bloated flies in random states of fucking crowding in thick oblong orbiting dementias tinting the world in varied shades of purloined virtuous sin i didn’t get out of bed today with the intention of running head first into the walls my limitations have set but i […]

for more

i keep little mementos in my between my caged ribs so when i sit just right the memories jaggedly pressed into my lungs coloring every gasping breath in pastel fragments of who i once was my marrow tinted in words left unsaid as i wheeze out another line about the ones that carved their initials […]

little things

we were all forced into this state of being so if we can do a little to make it better for everyone that doesn’t seem like a big thing to ask. respect is earned but kindness is always free. seems to get forgotten in the day to day of trying to survive.

numb

woke upon the numbsideof the bedthe constantacheshiveringthrough myskull tofinally settlein my jawsnappedmy synapticresponseleaving meblissfullynumbconfortablydumbsipping coffeeas the cloudsthreatenrain. each timei wokein the darkknees tochestunwilling tofeelthe surgescoursingcoarselythroughmy bone prisoni beggedthe cosmosto take awayyour painto ladle ithappilyupon mineto let mewallowwhile yousoar. i speakto theemptinesslingeringbetween ourmouthsshufflingbarefeetthrough theshattereddreamsand echoedprayersbest leftunheardin thiscacophonousswirlsoftly givingwords tomy desires. woke upnumbedto the endlessachesrunning callouslythroughthe absenceof […]

a little off the top

rats gnaw at my toes as my guts gurgle acidic odes to empty cupboards a dream, a joke, a life left half conscripted by a string of hearts not quite won over with clumsy attempts at ill mannered charm unseen in the rippling ugliness seething at the surface bury my scraps in unconsecrated soil leave […]

check please

bleeding for scraps while others vomit to fanfare and gratutious applause poetry is loneliness wrapped in barb wire and i am pretty talented at screaming alone i will never amount to anything but moments you can never get back maybe that is what the sparrows sing as they watch a fool wasting his life for […]

mining my way to the center of my own hollow truth

on the crusted filth of misanthropic disembowelments collecting on the burnt end of progress there is soft buffeting of sparrow wings sending little clouds of dreamdust soulbillow to scatter amongst the cracked facades of fragility in a quick tempered state of ambiguous losses i was a spectating spectacle of spectacular idiosyncrasies wondering about in shuffling […]

tired

the tendrils of maternal abuse claw my broken psyche in the quiet moments spent lost in the shadowy ceiling my head weighs approximately the mass of the black hole where my soul once bled out in spectral hues transmitted on the sine waves ingrained into the synaptic disfunction of a broken child crying alone

silenced

i keep myself secluded from the a world i mostly don’t understand reaching out with shitty poetry from my cave because anxiety ain’t no way to half live i am cut off silenced by algorithms left to fester a mushroom in the darkness living off of the rotted soulsoil in petulant heartwhinings lost in a […]

drowning in birdsong

the rickety ship careensover the tempestuous seain the throes of sorrowsdraped in logical fallacy there is asimplicityin the ever presentbirdsongcoming throughthe open screen doora tonalprogressionfalling insynchwith the restof the worldaround me the lonely cries of the gullcircling in the gray skiesa hint of rot blowing throughon the wings of bloated flies i know whythe crows […]

rudimentary indecencies

there is a boozy insubstantialness to reality in the frame of bioluminescent purgatorial musings a hint that nothing is as it appears viewing the world through side mirrors lends an inky incandescence to freefalling through the strata of traumatic scars. i could accomplish something but i will be good and goddamned if anything sounds half […]

pulling back a stump

gone gone gone the dreams of bittersweet youth entrapments of hopes best left to fester amongst the creepy crawlies in the darkness of soulwept miseries millipedes crawl up the poignancy inscribed into the hollowbones of forevermore the moist memories rotting incrementally until all that remains are sympathetic serenades gone gone gone dust in the corner […]

dirth of d

my defiance in the face of dastardly deicidal dooms verbal defecation desecration of the subtle adorations my skull is filled with thoughts of you and a million angry bullet ants

hilda

her tongue leathery loudly licks shriveled worms disguised as lips the scent of curdled milk wafts thickly beneath hairspray and slow decay an out of focus gleam in her one good eye tells me the sky is falling her jerky whipfast motions lend an air of danger to an otherwise obscure sense of sliding between […]

citation

woke to a ticketstapled to myblood flecked chesta citation forvagrancyas the foolishmuscle constrictsthe sense ofpeace fromthe lonely lanethat leads tothe only placecardiac distresshas ever known asa destination.

the empty vessel; a seashell of supple hells

subtle vibrations easing along the nervous system on the brink of collapse wired for sound yet filled with white noise the song of the ocean in your ear is just my distorted palpatations echoing along inner ear insanity. i am an empty vessel stirring at the bottom of your oceanic depth a skull in a […]

books

lost alone in these stacks of books a million happy endings at least one metaphor that reflects where i am in my languid sorrow. surrrounded by books but the only one calling is the book of matches. one last tall tale written in embers across the shadow over her smile.

ribbon

he tied a ribbon on the old walnut tree by the side of the road every april as the last of the winter snow had faded to muddy ground patches of yellow with hints of verdant growth and the lone red ribbon dancing in the soft breeze with hints of home. it hadnt worked to […]

loveblister

a wriggle a writhing a tremor passes through my hollow bones as the cool wind murmurs across my shivering skin a chasm opens somewhere in these shifting shafts of calcified remorse a wriggle a writhing a tremor in the center where soot lines the pockmarked surface of angry loveblisters along the cardiac sack of salted […]

gaslight and filth

the flies, fat overfed black swarms that seems to cover every inch of the foul smelling building with puddles of blood and water baking in the noon time sun mercilessly glaring down over the city of shadows the bells toll sickly from the soot stained cathedral once a symbol of purity now an accurate representation […]

art is the whimpers of the dying flame of hope.

as da vinci sketched virtruvian drawings did the sheer reckless atrocities in nature ever make him sick to his artistic stomach a carousel of painted horses with pinprick pupils at the edge of panic as they race in circles yet never truly make any bit of progress while his ink smudged hands lose sensations in […]

over populated in solitude

in the quietest of moments lost in the singularities the heavy population of my solitude is a weight unto itself it feels like another one about drowning but the metaphor feels too apt to apropos not clothos or lachesis enough for my thology feels like another one about the scent of wildflowers longing lost and […]

weatherworn

she stood emptied of all hope and happiness a prune where there was once a plum interwoven into a tapestry of her own shadow streaked contemptuous longings slow roasted until her juices boiled splitting her once vibrantly colored casing her will spread ever so thinly until her soul became another transparency drifting on the last […]

chill

the vapid disinterest of the sun rose a golden ball shimmering in feigned regard (a burning middle finger) etched in vaporous <ill intent> lending a tumultuous air of chill intimacy to an otherwise funeralesque sunday spent malingering in the foyer to hell.

rent and rendered

the concrete souless monstrosities in a semi-heathenistic plethora of circumfusions a pod of poisoned seeds nestled tightly against the strangled heart of future endeavoring spirits a sacrament, a sacrifice a sack of simmering sighs tar black runs down slowly from the unblinking orbs encased in resinous lies the rusted snap of a trap tetanus infused […]

skintag morning

the coffee sits steaming with a forlorn haze into the morning silence the occasional bit of siren or warbling note of birdsong all that manages to pierce this three ton concrete bubble slowly suffocating the fool who suffers silently on the couch trying not to disturb his lonely corner of half existing. he scribbles bloody […]

silver

not sure if it is selective propagation or if the world is just filled with more despicable sacks of shit on a daily basis. i don’t even know if they know just how rancidly horrific they are or even if they possess the awareness to see just how off-putting their actions seem. one day the […]

devil’s solitaire

he sits flipping cards on the scarred coffee table between pots of coffee chain smoking one cigarette lit off of the dying embers of the last a blue gray filtration obscuring the horns growing out of his lined red forehead fifty two cards in four uneven columns with four piles steadily growing on the side […]

furrows

this obsession scratching my soul a possession of my every thought a repossession of faulty cardiac insurrections digging furrows through the once fertile topsoil now salted in tremulous tragedy. i sing loudly to fill the void left by silence stricken sparrows in an absence of solar radiations i don’t seem to recall where i have […]

the fear

the fear that i have cut myself so many times tearing off rancid bits and screaming in to the aether in lowercase has left me too scarred to strike a vein all that will remain of the foolish stain will be a dessicated corpse with an empty birdcage where his heart once hung itself. no […]

jarred

it is jarring being trapped inside myself yet overcome with myopic misunderstanding unable to get out of the hell that distorts all. it is that precise moment you realize that you are insignificant just a ball of anxiety spinning faster into disaster the lone star no one ever wished upon a wispy copy of someone […]

no exit

i have never been a good man but you, like an idiot, made me your best man. and in hindsight that doesn’t make any sense as all. maybe it was your faulty judge of character or possibly it was my mercurial lack of character that made the two of us click so well. i will […]

whimpers

you could fit all of the planets in the space between earth and the moon each one nestled neatly between us and our lonely satellite. you could fit all of creation in the space between the fool and hope with room for the earth the moon and all of the planets as well. nothing more […]

pantomiming a series of ever familiar events

a poet is a portal a destination an escape a few lines at a time a frozen dream a fool is a deadend a joke nothing’s shadow a punchline to life itself in a waking hell listening to the birds calling out to the sun that never quite manages to rise just a vacancy on […]

dragon

the dragon swims barely contained on the blackened spoon clenched between shaking fingers as the lighter dances in the fetid air before it is sucked up through a vacuum lashing out at this new hypodermic cage plunger pressed air bubbles displaced no need to disinfect nothing could survive the pockmarks and filth covering every inch […]

billy shakes

the eyes being the windows to the soul is another example of shakespearean inadequacy or idiocy. unless hell is the soil of my shattered soulscape good old billy shakes is a bald faced fucking liar. the only semblance of beauty to be seen in my monstrous gaze is you reflected back.

self portrait as reflected in oblivion’s empty gaze

it is in this hollowboned depression that oblivion sings the sweetest whispering in the cold darkness pooled inside this wicker man filled to bursting with icy insignificance too many hours lost in a month where realizations still spark acrid bitterness on my talented tongue where it was made apparent there is nothing to be here […]

well aware

my soul is one dimensional when viewed from this three dimensional plane of plain pain and panic stricken desolation my heart is wheezing black tar through constricted vessels of vacant adoration seized in rigorous illusionary half palpations you do not have to remind me i am nothing with your callous slights i am well aware […]

seven am suicidals

the light in the room dimmed as i looked out the sunlight diffusion gradually pulling the deep purple into static blue shifted to a melange of pink hued darknesses there is a weight to this salmon haze a heaviness breaking over the rooftops trickling turgidly down the streets a dripping of cloying syrupy madness in […]

a flaw

i’ve long since cast away the foolish dreams and childish aspirations focusing instead on the lackadaisical melanoma of melancholia i am a paper boat soaked through disintegrating on the swollen sewers of guilt ridden self-loathing saturated streams of fetid filth longing to burn a sliver of sodium in your everflowing fountain of beauty to settle […]

painskitters

less compartmentalizing more mental desterilization thoughts that rattle behind the locked doors buried in the deepest darkest cobweb filled corridors in my mind the tarnished padlocks click open to fall heavily to the spongey gray floor letting loose the howls as the damned chorus of the past scrambles down my fragile sense of unbeing circling […]

it isn’t that

it isn’t that i cant get out of my own head it’s that the part i got stuck in was one i swore that i would avoid now it is all that pummels me in the silence that punctures my inner ear an unloving embrace squeezing too tight to my throat

two more hours

fell asleep on a mobius strip of wrong sides so no matter how i were to finally awaken the day was truly well and fucked the coffee still dripped slowly the only percolation in my dingy place as i force myself to leave the cave to enter a world of dreamy disillusion the only words […]

pointless

i spent two hours compiling a new collection reading my own words and i feel so goddamned broken because the words haven’t changed that pain is still this pain and i don’t understand why it never abates why i can never lose the weight of an ocean of black tar tears. and the man on […]

ink swells beneath my ugly

i never begged you to love me because i was too busy begging you to treat me as simply a human being beaten down by a lack of considerations the fact i had to beg at all shows how one sided the entirety encapsulating our accident truly was sad puppy eyes and maternal scarring left […]

the sun came out for no goddamned reason

we lay together in a tangle of legs as the rains hit the glass our hearts regulated metronomically as one my eyes open i reach out to feel your warmth pull you in closer but the bed is empty an expanse stretching from my burgeoning wave of impending sorrows each time i close my fitful […]

meh.

this constant feeling of trenchlike pressure clamped in barb wire and rusted iron bands around my head is slowly driving me insane(r) i cannot stop contemplating my escape the need for relief yelling in the dead center of this vortex of agonized dizziness i need a pickaxe or a cordless drill with diamond tipped bits […]

crab

i am a hermit crab uncomfortable in this too large skull seeking some sort of sanctuary from the storms that rage without reflecting the tsunami raging within i need a different shell to keep my ragged apologies and need to please in check a hobo hopping trains that lead to anywhere but here headed to […]

steel wool and fireants

when i moved to texas it was in the middle of thirty straight over one hundred degree days i was pulling a u-haul sixteen hours across country with the devil’s breath blowing constantly across the featureless land road hypnosis and salt flecked lips feverish in thirst watching the miles tick as i looked for the […]

negative bolt

the emptiness swirls in my cranial cavern pulsating aches spill in synchronicitized marrowdeep bemoaning i am lesser today than i was yesterday the painrattles chose angular sobs to remind me in lucid loss of lividity i have nothing in my pockets but a swell of dreamkisses snatched from morning awakening and soft smiles of peace […]

gravel

he sitson edgethe screamingof the birdswhite noisestaticcoursing throughhis collapsefalling inupon himselfgaining masslosingdefinitionworn downsmoothed outby the riverforever windingover hisgravel soulan aquariumfilledwith upsidedownfish belliesbobbing at thesurface tensionbarely keepinghim constrainedin shape

sisyphus

camus asked the worldto imaginesisyphus happybut happinessisn’t a partof the comfortinherent inrepetitive actioni prefer toimagine sisyphuscontented in hisdaily strugglethe knowledgethat everything we dois eventuallyanother incomprehensiblehabitual actretracing stepswell worn scarsacross our heartsrunning fingersover cardiac nervesexciting palpatationsrepeatingself-destructiveidiocies becauseman never learnsan oroboros ofself defeatseeking its own tailto pacifythe urges.

apathetic

my fight or flight has grown apathetic every minor inconvenience greeted with a shakespearean sigh to give a fuck or to not give a fuck, that is the dilemma i was not born skinless bare nerves in a sandstorm but life has a way of stripping the flesh from bone leaving a huddled mass burning […]

we all knew the truth

his story had so many holes in it you could back the moon through the inconsistencies his vagueries implications while never truly saying anything at all trying to convince everyone anything they did he did better a master of oneupmanship willing to do whatever it took to get a moment in the spotlight no matter […]

a fool to the flame

i run my fingers through every flame knowing how it feel but incapable of learning that fundamental hurl me headfirst downdowndown into the volcano let the lava lick my tears feed me to pele an unworthy offering to grant your every single dream come true i am nothing but flotsam floating on your every wave […]

trash

i am nothing but a trash compactor taking words from novel to story to poetry. crushing out meanings until all that sticks to the page is concentrated emptiness. no more expectations or diluted dreampiss hopes just silence and shitty lines of filth. unable to to face myself a corruption of beauty under gray skies a […]

unable to write

every poem is nothing but electricity flashing and a written interpretation of chemicals into aimless chickenscratch spit over maggot lips drooling venomous angst down pitted skin in the false hope it sparks an electrical discharge in the soup of deficiencies in the gelatinous mess driving that entropic meat machine of broken dream reading it my […]

kerouac (un)cool

i take a picture of the last moment of happiness so i can cry as i forget how to smile again there is a resentment in being a caricature of the sad pathetic little poet the ceiling hides the void the words give form to the tangible lack of substance sucking the air from the […]

rind

there is a bitterness in the rind of the lemon but with just a coating of coarse salt that same bitterness is drawn out leaving a perfect vision of summer. my rind is quite bitter this evening senseless renal failure leaves these poisonous thoughts to gain mass to become a new entity hellbent on self-destruction […]

falsehoods over coffee steam

there is a autumnal ache in this false spring of decaying promise and unexpected shivers, dust motes hang heavy on the swollen symphony strummed lightly across tattered old heartstrings. ill intent permeates these overflowing salted rivers of unshed tears from lost lovers last laconic demise, the sparrows sing mutely no soft whistles in this heady […]

less a scribe, more a fool

the air thrums with potential heartbursts of compressed recalcitrance, the moon hangs moribund in sickly shades of amber tinted umbrageousness. and here i lay sadly listening to the sickly thump hiss of corroded arteries, my mind tangled in webbing from lies spun in silvery tongued sanctimonies. less a scribe than an idiot awash in an […]

chocked full of vitamins and miseries

tied up in nots a net of blank refusals raining nuclear dismissals from the hell that is the human condition conditioned to instinctually huntfightandfuck in a soft land of store bought nonessentials prepackaged pineal processes recycling plastics as breakfast food chemically castrating the alpha diabetically with surplus sugars to insulate pancreatic insulin insolence over indulgent […]

god, an astronaut and a spider spinning into forever

spent an hour watching a tiny spider weave a massive web invisible except for errant rays of light streaming from behind the ever present gray blanket a flurry of careful instinctual choreography hypnotizing in the steady chaotic order. lost in the details umable to see the entire work of art incapable of understanding the finer […]

meth frog (for Shawn, the real Meth Frog)

he grew up with just two burning passions; the first being the extravaganza of professional wrestling, and the second a deepseated love for methamphetamines. they called him the leprechaun as a kid because of his perpetual attire in verdant hues until he got old enough to take that first taste of crystal death, then he […]

obstinate

i get smallfalling inon myself whenthe wordsbecome obstinatelike aself-containedmarsupial. i haveforgottenwhich pouchi am ina writhing tumorin my own fleshseeking solacein puckered scars.

april showers

april showers are supposedly the root cause of may flowers but march came in like a lamb and went out like a bipolar yeti the world sleeps and i find myself trapped in this box listening to the lackadaisical tune my entire body tensed to spring as soon as the lid pops open it’s cold […]

holidaze in cambodia

there is a magic in dark depression and dead kennedys too loud alone i don’t know if it is the surf rock grooves or the darkly satire dripping on every off key exclamation third wave ska makes my soul quiver with happiness unable to sit still but jello makes me want to burn the entire […]

deflated

the day went by like a helium balloon slowly succumbing to gravity it held the enjoyment of a rock in your shoe there was no sun shining and i would really like a do over or to absently rub your feet as the rest of the world kindly fucks off

a shitty analogy

the blue cooler sits abandoned a wasted existence left empty no purpose there should be untold memories of sloshing ice and shady grass or white sands the ugly fool sits sorrowfully a wasted existence born empty with no purpose staring out at a blue cooler the same shade as the ice encompassing a stillborn heart […]

p(un)chline

i feel like a goddamned punchline to an unfunny rambling narrative of hells and pointless idiocies unnecessary stresses insufficient funds a mental collapse with the addition of a stolen debit card and falling farther behind. i would scream to the heavens but they are fictional as happily ever after and hope.

even the birds seem static

red hot needles distributed through my guts painglitter grafted inside my skull another day without the sun every whisper feels ominous filled with rusted hooks slowly dissolving packets of poison in turgid flows unpoetic apathies sludge and muck fill rubber tubes aspirations evaporated on the steel grate over this confounded steam powered heart. i don’t […]

rotterdammit all

the city of rotterdam was laid to rubble in less than twenty minutes at the beginning of the second world war it is something i spent way too long researching to be barely used in a novel but i can be obsessed possessed and that’s where i found piet blom rotterdam had always been a […]