she was a
collection
of sharp angles
a hidden image
in the freckles
i longed to
connect with
my shaking lips
her smile
crackled through
every single
prepubescent
fantasy

the first time
my lips
pressed tightly
to her mouth
was a comedy of
foolish error
where she waited
for me
to make my move
before she
pinned me down
making dream
a confusion
of reality

baptized in her
eternal flame
burning away
the fears of
hormonal uncertainty
leaving ashes
in the shape
of who i was
to blow across
the fields so
carefully tended
over a childhood
of scarred lessons

the clarity of
that first kiss
overshadowed by
the forgotten
final act of
youthful adorations
until it is all
a blending of
heartaching breaks
in blurred out
recollections
with a hint of
cherry chapstick
wafting sorrows

her image replaced
as time dragged me
unwittingly
farther from then
until now is
another memory
not to be trusted
as the overlaid
insecurities
distort the vista
into a parody of
chemical despondency
until yours are
the only lips
i crave