going to bed, gotta ease this load this waking world ain’t fit for dreamers and my head’s always been in the clouds just gotta close my eyes and let reality slip away find my place without want or need i drift along with mind full of fog lost and scared of what will never be […]
wanna go visit this guy i know he has cut himself off from soceity sounds his time alone, a ghost in his own home rambles on and on about nothing has a thousand and a half stories most of them true some of them insane most do you have to hear about the quarter that […]
bill evans trio on full volume a half pot of coffee an empty bottle of pills falling into the crescendo the racing chords, dischordiant, harmonic dissidence strumming across the rags i call a soul opening doors slamming windows the pots and pans clang erratically in time my brain rattles like the high hat a paint […]
we were lying on the beach watching the waves roll in the sun had already done a number on us despite the number of times i got rub your back, your legs, under the blanket can never be too safe you giggled when i said that never said stop as the gulls circled above and […]
our friend stole his parents bank card one summer i was poor white trash my dad’s bank card was the free drink chips from the bar and by those standards we were rich but by any other we were dirt poor the cool thing about growing up poor is you don’t know any different so […]
my neighbor came over and knocked on my door she was frantic gato subido un arbol i knew gato my spanish is limited to mostly profanity had she said pinche joto, cabrón, blanco diablo i would have gotten the gist she grabbed my arm insisting gato subido un arbol gato subido un arbol her daughter […]
i was driving down a country road it was around three in the afternoon, three hours until quitting time i was seeing double usually on a sunday i would stick with beer because of the night before hair of the dog that bit me my day had started off as usual barely poured myself out […]
i’m thinking about running away leaving just a duffle bag of fluff and my phone guadalajara perhaps, learn acoustic guitar, become a mariachi sneak across the boarder up north and become a lumberjack, or harvest syrup jump in a freighter and get lost in china, eat scorpions and only speak mandarin anywhere but here somewhere […]
punch drunk from this constant ache eight more aspirin and a nap the life of half existence is hard relief, release, instead regret, remorse so i down the pills close my eyes whisper my love to the kids, to another if i die in my sleep those are strong last words words only i could […]
my phone rang and i nearly dropped my cup of coffee onto my lap not sure which would have been more painful, the loss of the black liquid or the burnt balls probably having to clean the mess no need for another stain goddess knows i carry enough of them for a hundred failed dreamers […]
the butterfly moves rippling cocoon, weakened wings winter fades to spring — his heart is shattered the lazy malaise of loss another dead dream — serendipity coming together as one but not for this one — the ice covers all but beneath blossoms find life her garden of love — bloody remnants fall the last […]
the coffee maker hisses and spits in my head it is a seven foot south american hissing cockroach pissing into the pot woke up with one of those cluster headaches again well originally woke up to the headache kicking my ass in triple time but spoke with Her so between the flutters and excitement of […]
i was on acid standing in the gas station, the flourescent lights beating down with the force of a thousand suns i went in to get a pack of smokes the acid had taken hold of my mind i was never one for filtering my thoughts without altering the broken thing i was raving about […]
having a sad night one of those wish i were being held nights feathered indians by tyler childers faded by POS kills to be resistant by bully sound track of my mental state swore i would just go get a bottle of whiskey before doing this to myself again listen to sad songs and embrace […]
so i sort of saved a life today i mean, i did save someone, i guess there was a bus and this lady with her headphones and she was not paying attention she checked one way she checked the other way and she stepped off the curb and then the bus came flying down the […]
i wish those words were meant for me so much have you ever heard something so sweet and thought it would be the most amazing thing if they were aimed at your heart that happened today like when you are sitting alone and see someone wave and smile real big and confusedly think maybe it […]
today has been spent in fire stations across mesquite i was crushed to learn i would not be sliding down a brass pole they just don’t have any poles any more bastard hope springing infernal got to climb in the fire truck and play around in a bomb disposal truck but it just wasn’t in […]
driving down the highway my middle finger a battering ram against the ignorance of little dicks in oversized diesel over compensators serpents in the high grass venomous camoflauged snakes coiled in the shape of hearts adrenaline spiked and cold blooded strikes if it weren’t for the small raw spot in the center of this wind […]
squinting the tired spinning from my mind as i get dressed the howl of words whipping up a frothy frenzy as i attempt to close the cage it is like if you have a day off and do not nothing it is fine but if you have a day off and cannot do anything it […]
planning on spending the next couple days engrossed in work throw myself into it one of those find a reason to continue on sort of adventures in not wanting to curl up in a ball and die when i was a teen i stood on the railing of a bridge i watched the water beneath […]
i couldn’t tell if she was the tornado or the calm before the storm sitting on the hood of my car, sipping whiskey and staring up at the newly awakened stars, watching the clouds roll in fast, feeling the warm wind blowing from the opposite direction made me think of her the subtle burn of […]
drank a bottle of water while i drive too fast down the overly congested highway had to use the restroom the minute i got close to my destination small talk with the lady behind the counter love it when they call me darlin perks of living in the south bought another bottle of water before […]
waiting for the call to go to work while i’m at work i will have a hundred ideas, snippets of things that need to be written down and no way to do it when i get home the echos will still be there but not the proper feel i’ll try a few times and then […]
“so, you actually are writing again” i didn’t quite care for her tone “yep” “since when” “august” she sat quietly trying to figure out how to ask if any of it was about her years ago she drunkenly confessed she thought the idea of someone writing about her was romantic then she threw up and […]
i miss the crackle of a fresh lit cigarette sometimes the first inhale of blue smoke after a long night drinking, the stale smell of beer and a dirty ashtray like a dog without a bone she smiles into space wide eyed not here, not sitting on the couch not next to me my phone […]
angry guitars wail a snide voice, whiny and prophetic snarls about the government, or organized religion maybe it is a love song i stopped paying attention five or six songs ago really paying attention my toes still tap along to the staccato drum breaks the bass line travels up and down my spine late seventies […]
anger has teeth, ragged broken things, chewing and grinding sorrow has wings, they drape and hang, threatening to smother but love has fangs, sharp pointed things that pierce, slide in with barely a notice, injecting venom directly into the vein, paralyzing the body and going directly to the heart and brain she hated driving an […]
the feel of the razor at it scrapes across my head, terrforming it into a smooth uninhabitable place for the next few days she used to stand in the doorway and watch as i plied my craft, first with the grain, then the second against it now as i shave it i find myself looking […]
it was the middle of the night we worked third shift together, a chance to get out of our empty homes and spend time together she worked two jobs and didn’t sleep much but kept this one to be with me we would go to the park next door and make out and steam up […]
her short shorts hit the floor as she stepped through the door her pretty little foot kicked the door closed as her shirt went over her head the bra and panties didn’t match the bra didn’t last long she stood, hands on hips daring me to speak i was far too interested in the view […]
come and sit with me spend the night watching documentaries learn about each other laugh cry i’ll put on some music and we can slow dance and pretend we are somewhere else somewhere better run your fingers across my scars i will tell you their tales make up stories to wile away the time never […]
went to bed tired but fought to fall asleep, woke up feeling like i was beaten and not in the good way actually went to bed, try and be normal for the kids as normal as possible maia asked me yesterday if i have given up given up i carefully repeated on having a life, […]
single malt, aged seven years in oak cask barrels, only the finest in heart wrenching sorrow blended with corn mash and subtle notes of bitterness and bile triple carbon filtered, distilled through copper wrought from the blood of the gods themselves no proof but one hundred percent pure and true a pint for sipping, a […]
each prayer a stone cast into the stream concentric circles, ripples in time, the cascading waters of eternal hope swept in the currents of ego and void pulled through magnetic fields, stretched thin, inside out and reversals of fate the gods throw tantrums, drain the wishing wells until naught but coins remain belligerence and belittlement […]
cue dramatic flourish spotlight centers on curtain out comes the shambling form of the idiot poet hands extended to crowd, open wound on chest, heart on fire on stool beside him no applause greets him he bows and blood spills out promptly he slips and lands on his rear roaring laughter slipping and sliding he […]
over used dopamine receptors, drained of happiness, an empty vessel where a human once sat rigor mortis and rictus grin resistance of reoccurrence, reticent, regretful, riddled with remorse head hurts from supple waves of silent misery forgotten, forbidden, fostered from frigid fate a strapping male with more scars than smile lines past his expiration date […]
i make check marks on the wall one for every mistake in bright red to the north one for every failure in blue to the south one for every hope in green to the east and for every dream that comes true in black to the west to the north it is a wildfire sweeping […]
dreams assaulted me last night an old farm house in the middle of nowhere a rooster crows in the dead of the night slowly amble out the back door to find blood sparyed across the barn door armed with a stick, open the door slowly to prevent the hinge from squeaking traitorous door lets out […]
i can remember falling lips first into another eyes closed tasting breath, lips, teeth, tongue gently at first exploring slowly turning up the flame harder, hungrier not needing to breathe anything but each other nibbles not so gentle bites to the ear love, the throat down to the collar bone back to the lips again […]
Lana always read my garbage and corrected my misspellings she would call me and ask what i meant she editted my idiocy and made it as readable as possible always said she was my biggest fan now as i hear her voice in my head and fix my stupid slop i feel the tears on […]
i am not a gambler but I have been conditioned by years of sloppy play now i accept the hand dealt with no qualms of winning or losing been clubbed, used spades to bury the past, saw diamonds don’t always mean forever but never found the queen of hearts drowned in the river felt the […]
can’t find the word coffin, coughing, cacophony, corroded confidence no tremor, trepidation, truth, tryptophan triumph close languid, lacsadasical, lazy, lethargic luminescent nothing i ingested infection, insecurity and insignificance, ignominious internment in indescribable indignity stuck in literate alliterative litigation letting the words sing in a rhythm i cannot see phallic failings, philosophical freeform fallacies, fantasies fractured […]
please come to me, my living dead girl show me the dreams, that haunt the dead a taste of the earth, my living dead girl your chill blue lips, and the need for flesh missed your funeral, but visit your gravesite, i call to you, from beyond the veil i miss your touch, my living […]
figuring out life through echo location just screaming at the wall and hoping to find the way ignore the stares, those judging baleful glares thoroughly lost and unwilling to ask for help so no sudden movements if you please and thank you i’m fine
i sleep on the couch because the bed is too big it isn’t comfortable it is just the only place i can find solace i eat brown rice everyday because i don’t care it isn’t good it is just enough to make it through another day in hell i don’t live i survive i don’t […]
he wrapped her bloodied feet with bandages torn from his own tattered shirt tended her wounds with his gentle hands bathed her in the light of his love nursed her back to health with tender shaking fingers made her whole with every piece of him he had to give she never spoke a word he […]
can you hear me roar as it thunders across the plains calling out to you, need and want booming through the night i roar for you hunger and lonelieness, a plea for you to come to me to fill this need this driving force inside of me i want you to fill it the snarl […]
dripping wet from rainfall, played bumper cars down the highway, bloody knuckles and fuck you smile, step to me and watch the lights fade away walk with misery holding hands, loaded pistol and an insurance check, embody the human tornado, call me the living car wreck got the juice in my system, got the devil […]
my mind is racing but there is no cohesion to the thoughts like a lightning round of idiocy and insecurities, bouncing from disparate to desperate and all points between salivate, retaliate, procrastination against salvation a fine line from confusion to disillusion with a healthy observation of defenestration seven happy heartaches, eight offending offers, nine and […]
built a dam and now the sirens blare flood warning not going to give in cannot decipher smoke signals or solve puzzles not going to play games asked the fates for a sign friend zone by thundercat came on the radio well played you bastards well played indeed so cutting the anchor and letting the […]
you shared your pain with the world, it tore me up to see your suffer so you shine like a thousand stars but it is hard to see through tear filled eyes sometimes the harshest critic stares back from reflective surfaces highlights the things we don’t want to see ignore that view we are our […]
i am crazy all of these odes to love, to her, to things never quite in grasp all i do is scribble lies to turn attention from the insanity that grips me i am not the wizard of heartbreak i am the unloveable man behind the curtain spitting flowery prose to shine the light on […]
hands shaky, irritable, ants under my skin withdrawal my only addictions are women that are too good for me, profanity, and seeking things i shall never attain then why the onset signs of withdrawal not because she stopped talking to me, she being every single woman i have ever shown interest in unless they are […]
was going to write an idiotic allegory of a yard sale the objects for sale were broken hearts, feelings of despair, blossoming love still born before it took a first breath cheap prices, everything must go discarded hopes and dreams, nickle a piece, three for a dime penny dish of frozen moments that ended up […]
as I walked to bathroom to shower i noticed i had left a cabinet door open in the kitchen it was her pet peeve and i learned to quickly remedy it so as to not here her yell even if she was short enough to not have to worry about hitting her head i never […]
her ghost sat next to me on the floor she always loved to watch me meditate, wait until i was in a different place and whisper terrible things into my ear that didn’t change after she died of all my ghosts, her’s is the worst she led me to buddha with her insane ramblings of […]
it feels like a lead blanket has been draped across my chest breathing is difficult sensation has gone numb i feel a lump in the back of throat choking on the bittersweet feeling of nothingness an absence of all the weight of all this discontent, the open eyes stare at the crumbling ruins, a beauty […]
my heart is not broken i was wrong when i thought that it is a jigsaw puzzle waiting to be solved by some lucky lady a lovely lady sweeps into the room, brightens the darkness like a flare in the night i, being nocturnal, scurry away from the light, eyes squinting from the painful glare, […]
my friend Lana died this morning, i just got off the phone with her room mate i don’t know what to do she was the most wonderful person and i always told her she was perfect she would laugh that deep throaty laugh of hers and call me a fool she had been down lately, […]
the law of diminshing returns states if one production is increased while all others are held constant invariably the increased output will lessen therefore i postulate the more one seeks something, the less likely that thing is to appear by dedicating myself to the search for intangibles and barely recognizing the real world i find […]
said i wouldn’t write today but then i made a mistake and overshared it wasn’t the sharing that was the mistake probably, maybe, possibly it was the broken flood gates of memories, the levee cracked and with it came the thoughts another metaphoric poem about drowning it hurt to share those things with you, a […]
opened the door this evening and found a battered package sitting outside no return address, just my name ransom note style in cutout letters from a magazine inside was my heart, a note attached by a nail piercing the right ventrical it said thanks but no thanks, i recognized your arts and craft style i […]
i may have brain damage the searing pain, the addled ability to think the moon is two hundred and thirty eight thousand and nine hundred miles away feels closer than i am to you maybe i was concussed, suffered a subcutaneous hematoma, let my little brain rattle around in it’s bone home possibly i read […]
the gentle patter of rain fills the world around me been riding the waves of words all morning, a steady intake of coffee and introspection early punk humming, feet tapping the floor as my fingers fly across the phone face trying to keep my mental excitement tied down heart fluttering, racing from creation, caffeine and […]
beginning the awkward reintegration into my own world again blowing the dust off of seldom used corners of of my mind found a box marked happy pushed way to the back under all the baggage that has accumulated a small crushed cardboard box on a shelf that had a childish scrawl and reads dreams so […]
i am Loki incarnate plying my trade of mischief in the subtle guise of word the turn of phrase hides the wicked blade the golden tongue beguiles, pleasures and wounds in turn chained to my stone slab in Hell, the snake drips venom in my eyes but still i fight no chains can contain my […]
i have come to a conclusion this voyage of loneliness, the futile search for someone to share this life of misery with is illusionary the she i have spent far too long looking for is an intangible thing like trying to catch sand with a net, no matter how tightly woven, the particulates are always […]
if love is blind can you read the braile my heart is scribbling down the page love is forever and i have not begun to write to you, and i will never stop making odes for you but i cannot write a poem about love i don’t know if i have the words if i […]
i cannot tell if i see the city beneath me if it is a long forgotten civilization benath the waves of a crystal clear sea the subdivisions look like grapes rotten on the vine the world of minatures hand painted by a bored god feels like she gave up halfway through and just let everything […]
the desperate symphony of angelic demons wail rattling the spikes of the pits of hell the segmented bodies of insects feast upon the soft skin of human suffering sequinned dresses and torn up tuxedos litter the hallway the cherub, the blasphemous martyr and a machiavellian monarch hold court, casting judgement and dispersions in equal disregard […]
bloody fingerprints on the window pane copper fills the air i can smell decay on the light breeze panic sets in but paralysis has taken hold of my body only my eyes can move cannot breathe see a glint of moonlight on metal feel the coolness of steel upon my throat i cannot scream pins […]
today is a day for tears the sadness just seems so bottomless, welling up inside of me my mind is tumultuous, a jagged mess of broken shards of emotional stained glass but the stain feels deeper today the sense of sorrow and fracture i feel no joy, just loss, listless meandering thoughts of yesterday of […]
i spent the last half hour just walking in the snow the fat flakes falling, a chill wind blowing, the cold memories of being a kid there is something so soothing about a winter storm a lack of visibility as it falls faster and fills the air with a sheet of white wish i had […]
she is beautiful even though i have never seen her i know, it comes through it wouldn’t matter anyway looks can fade, vision can go, but inner beauty always finds a way to light the darkened hallways of a mind it is a bubbling of the soul, the careless grace of phrase as i am […]
can anybody hear me am i silently screaming into the void sound proof dampeners placed on my vocal chords it is futile bashing my fists against the walls, bloody knuckles and broken bones frustrated over a lack of understanding running in place, not making progress going nowhere at full speed i see the red dot […]
dedicated myself to a life of sin a worn cloak of sorrow upon my heavy shoulders ravens follow my every step a solemn vow to do no good as long as i am cursed to walk this world of shame paid back in blood a thousand times over, the heady fumes of lust and rage […]
consumed by heat, the photons make for unsteady footing, finding purchase as the waves roll on the flesh seared, blackened and blistered on my calves, tattooed flesh rendered into ash nubs where podiatry is rendered worthless the tongues of blue lick upwards, my thighs aflame, aerobic activity feeding the fires greasy black smoke fills the […]
been wrecklessly abandoned to rust on the side of life’s highway not allowed to solo ride the high occupany lane, taken to bringing a mannequin with me put under house arrest, a fate worse because at least with the dummy my mannequin is not left alone the castle i occupy, carefully sculpted from my body, […]
three hours nigh comatose in the lobby over saturated with coffee and shaking hands tell myself tonight i will sleep mind won’t race no being mopey, miserable and misaligned out of phase a phantom in a skin suit rattling the halls of an inescapable fate it is the misfired neurons in my brain the driving […]
these thoughts build the frame, the words the bars of my cell hanging over a pit of sharpened stakes made from the bones of broken lovers rocking to and fro with the subtle sighs and blanketed by the with heavy silence of a thousand unspoken thoughts i crafted this cage, made the lock from my […]
i stand in the shadows of greatness an inability to express in fumbling words the feelings that burn, freeze, strike and shatter words are my trade and traitorous they have become leaving me stripped bare, nerves exposed, pounding salty tears how do you move forward when the past weighs so heavily, crushingly, hooks tearing the […]
wanted an hour nap before dinner curled up in a ball and thought about you the entire time wished we were talking, laughing, declaring impossibilities to one another, sharing inner thoughts instead of rest i lay in the too cold room with too desperate musings on the state of having a muse once again on […]
spent the day learning the electric rhythm of the heart of ventricle and atriums, current and flow, the machine that keeps us going how beautifully crafted a pump so strong, so important so easily broken I have been in a state of asystole for so long, a state if no electrical activity, self imprisoned by […]
it has been fourteen birthdays since i saw your face, heard your voice, got your advice i never told you how important you were to me nearly enough while you were here and i didn’t after you got sick because i refused to admit you were dying remember when we promised to see each other […]
fitful sleep, off dreams filled with crimson splashes and distant screams woke up nearly as tired as when i went to bed, and the accursed hotel coffee is not helping matters see i am a light roast man in a world of over acidic bold the opposite of my mental state acidic and bold with […]
barely functional sore body, drained spirit, mind in a fog long day, with longer coming saw the sights, killed the lights, lying on so soft bed with nothing but thoughts the mirror is situated in a way that when i move I am startled by the movement back the sounds of the highway soothe, so […]
i don’t have the wherewithal to weather another storm an aerosol parasol, no protection from inclement precipitous downfall soaked to the bone, so far from home, alone and attempting escape she told me to dance and on worn soles, with a torn soul, i let the music take me away shaky limbs still have rhythm, […]
over tired, under performed wilted my sense of equillibrium is off the excitement of the day has turned this infernal feeling if wanting more burns and leaves naught but ash want home trepidation and feeling insufficient exhaustion magnifies the broken edges less shattered more mangled shades of self indulgent misanthropic melodies flood through my mind […]
bundle of nerves and headache flight to Boston in the early morning, new faces, new lessons, a week away from home thoughts of her, somewhere out there, does she think of me, does anyone silence is the soul killer, leading to questioning, leading to doubting, leading to layers and layers of worry does any of […]
heat trailing my tongue all along your supple curves, tasting, testing your threshold for pleasure exploring every inch of your frame all the spots that make you scream slowly building the pressure until you beg for release over and again it comes when i say, not when you plead and beg full body orgasms, while […]
we were young, sneaking out, drinking beers and making bad choices, no reprecussions, no fear in sight days that never seemed to end, kissing under the stars, the world at our finger tips, the future looks so bright all the promises meant to be broke, all those nights playing games, chasing girls and telling jokes, […]
beauty is in the eye of the beholden, and i find myself besot by you inspired to not move mountains, but reimagine them, reshape them, craft them into monuments for you whether hammer and chisel or pen and ink, i yearn to make something that will withstand time in homage to the brilliance i see […]
i feel as if jackson pollack must have painted my soul my scars are a roadmap across the desert, but shifting sands make navigation impossible i am like a flash frozen thundercloud struck by lightning and shattered into a thousand bits of aether, destined to rage in a thousand impotent storms like a choose your […]
thank the silence for the kids, the tenuous loneliness of the perpetually alone broken by these brief interludes of joy baking for them, cooking for them, having someone to take care of is a slice of heaven all too quickly it vanishes and i retreat into the spiral of depression and emptiness but as the […]
metamorphosis joints popping out of socket as bone breaks fuses over and again wails of agony snapping vertabrae, elongating jaw, jutting fangs, eyes flashing yellow howling over the crackling sounds of becoming something more heightened senses, the smell of blood in the air, succulent fear and sweat transitioning to something more, than human, than predator […]
i am the hunter, the silent stalker in the cityscape the lone tracker of the most elusive of prey following the scent of the heart’s desire, picking out clues in the most hidden of places, laying my traps of subtle turn of phrase and heartfelt prose looking for the missing piece, the completion, the mythical […]
pre-emptive apologies, reactionary dodging of the shrapnel from my sleep addled brain spent too much time thinking of the unknown of falling wishing for a controlled plummet but knowing it is free fall and all i see are clouds beneath did i allow this set myself up for another collosal failure on the road to […]
it was the words that hooked my curiousity the turn of phrase that made it impossible to stop thinking about it is always the words that get me they are the aphrodisiac of choice the only vice i cannot seem to kick and now i fall into the rabbit hole of infatuation with the words […]
if i were a knife i would have a serrated blade, with many sharp edges and a jagged scarred face my words are the razor, the stiletto, by i am far to clumsy to cut smoothly no, i am more of a saw tooth blade, it takes more effort and never leaves as even a […]
the fog of a headache mixed with too little sleep and too much trying eyes having problems focusing is it nromal to fall into waves of black thoughts the moment you awaken is it normal to already dread the day mere seconds into it going to get the kids and that is the only bright […]
