compass, words

thank the silence for the kids, the tenuous loneliness of the perpetually alone broken by these brief interludes of joy

baking for them, cooking for them, having someone to take care of is a slice of heaven

all too quickly it vanishes and i retreat into the spiral of depression and emptiness

but as the scent of brownies and laughter fill the room and the nagging sense of sorrow begins to permeate my heart

all too soon it ends

i long for someone to fill this void full time, a lover and friend, a confidant to say the horrible inner thoughts out loud to, someone to share the quiet and the loud

someone that can accept the overflowing love i have to give, to be my goddess, the flame that ignites my passion

a muse to inspire the words and keep the bad thoughts away, to be my shield when the sadness grows to strong, my umbrella from the tears

i worry i ask too much, that it is a dream that will never be fulfilled, but it is a worthy goal, something i shall not regret spending the end of my days trying to find

i wonder, could it be you

a seemingly accidental encounter

you who sing so beautifully

or just another almost in an endless series of near misses and never will

i don’t know any longer, my compass seems broken

won’t you help me put it back together again, lead me to your arms, to home

please

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