crossed, words

her ghost sat next to me on the floor

she always loved to watch me meditate, wait until i was in a different place and whisper terrible things into my ear

that didn’t change after she died

of all my ghosts, her’s is the worst

she led me to buddha with her insane ramblings of christ

sent me in a path of spirituality through her trying to force me along her own

she was bipolar and refused her meds

we had a lot in common in hindsight

both let our demons run free for fear of losing who we really are

no matter the consequences

she saw me reading about the occult, tarot cards, black magic

one day when i left she took them all and burned them

cast her own spell with her act of saving my soul

delivered me unto evil with her attempts to bring me to the light

i was stupid, not for the dark studies, but for believing in any of it

she showed me that

i read all the texts, bent my neck at all the different sermons and seances

they all meant the same thing, live your life as a good person, treat others the same

she had her cross and i found my burning palm

she allowed it, the prayer beads and quiet reflection were better than goat’s blood in her warped mind

and she liked to mess with me during quiet reflection

it didn’t surprise me to see her after she died

her insanity kept her from heaven, her life had been hell and the wheel of reincarnation was too spinny

so she decided to haunt me instead

of all the many spirits that color my life, she is the most annoying

and neither of us would have it any other way


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