three hours

nigh comatose in the lobby

over saturated with coffee and shaking hands

tell myself tonight i will sleep

mind won’t race

no being mopey, miserable and misaligned

out of phase

a phantom in a skin suit rattling the halls of an inescapable fate

it is the misfired neurons in my brain

the driving need

cutting thoughts and drained of essential understanding

want to crawl into the bed that taints me with it’s lazy easiness

had a visitor last night, fell into another’s orbit but the elliptical nature of gravitational means kept us out of sync

tantalizing glimpses

good mourning my love

as the dead shamble in a mockery of human movement

know my thoughts are only on you

bathed in holy water to expell the spirit of mine own discontent

three hours of fitful sleep

only to rise and greet the darkened doorway of damnation

not fully alive and at the edge of clinically dead

existing in a perpetual state of undeath, the land of insomnial hymns

a chorus of decomposing angels moan the ritual

as i pantomine being a real boy

separation of body and mind

mind entrenched in the hades of uncertainty

today will be different

the laughter roars into a deafening cacophony

limping between love and lacsadasical loss