another one of those i should be asleep moments

another time my mind races through the hallways of maybe if and probably not, i wish it would

the waking dreamstate of need and hope

is it all in vain, this idiotic and possibly quixotic pursuit of something more than the bare minimum

the dreams and wishes of a seeming endless pursuit coming to fruition

maybe burning the candle at both ends is the secret to finding the heart shaped locket inside the melted wax

the fullfillment of one prayer

finding that lamp and the genie granting one true heart’s desire

of someone to fill the emptiness, this frozen chasm in the center of my being

or it is a lack of sleep mixed with too much hope, a transitive state of waxing and waning

perhaps the moon is hollow and all of your dreams go there to whither and die until the weight of all the dying dreamers crashes it down upon the earth

either way i will be here, caught in between daydream and apathetic pining

wrapped in my childhood blanket and held down by the chains of a thousand disappointments

longing for sleep to come and to be in a land of dandelion delights and indescribable terror

a place where one foot in front of the other leads to lollipop forests of happy smiling hitmen

angular and gaunt shadow puppets of apocalyptic destitution dragging the little ones away to slave in the hope factories

gone away from these cool sheets and too flat pillows

from aching tears and hip displacement

just another wish i were asleep moment to pass the time from one idylic nightmare to the next

one step closer to nothing

inch by inch and labored breath by labored breath to the final stop

this ever spinning carousel of dystopian opiod fever dreams

and maybe a chance to see you once again