my dad never got to see my name on the spine of a book never got to hold his grandchildren never got to see whatever it is the world became or how it shaped us some days that is an unbearable weight chained around my neck as i struggle uphill in every direction with the […]
there is a grainy zapruder quality in stuttering black and white that plays when ever she crosses the back roads of my mind a cloud of dust wherever her dainty toes step disconstructing the strands of dna reassembling the frozen instant she walked away back and to the left my head snapped back and to […]
they chopped down the bushes outside my bedroom window silencing the chorus of birds that used to greet me in the morning they closed down the comic shop down the street that was my favorite stop on wednesdays to chat about the newest books the creepy house on top of the hill burned down where […]
i hear your sound the soft snowfall of your thump woosh as the world falls silent around me i smell your scent of wildflowers kissed by the summer sun even as the world erupts in flames i taste your lips like honeyed wine with hints of autumn rot while the ashes coat my wagging tongue […]
old spice the white bottle with the ship on it a carton of reds a case of lite every year it was the same he didn’t ask for anything if he wanted it then he got it but every year he smiled hugged me in that back breaking rib creaking embrace of his kissed me […]
it will always be the way that curtain swayed on the spring afternoon as she left that breaks me down into my elemental sorrow her scent wafting towards me in a final kiss goodbye as the lace danced in the wake of the slamming door that signalled an ending there are days i sit sipping […]
there were these faint amber pulses that seemed to flicker at the very edge of the very edge of the very edge of my vision whenever she came into the room. like the iridescent trail of glitter a cartoon fairy leaves behind her as she darts directly into the face of a villain. they sent […]
her smile managed to invert light an anti-chromatic spectrum of imaginary hues a hint enough to quench the superheated center of his indomitable will to cave in
she scribbled frantically as i numbly made coffee we both muttered at each other not to when i came home her scribblings were in an envelope that smelled of her perfume this became the last trace of her as far as the rest of my existence was concerned whether i wanted it to be that […]
she would send me snapshots of heaven. i would pen missives from hell. there is a flow in this dichotomy as her halo appeared dulled my weeping wounds began scabbing later as i viewed the world from the bottom of another empty bottle i would remember those glimpses into the other side with the fondness […]
i woke to find part of me had gone missing over night. the problem is with so many missing parts how do you tell a new gap from the old. the ever dwindling cage of consciousness bones or impulses keeps the array of insidious worries doubts fears and misinterpretative dance numbers to damn near overflowing. […]
they say a clean break heals better when she left it was a spiral fracture a spinal crushing the only thing clean was the way she got away the way she told everyone it was my fault the way she made it seem as if she was never really here they don’t make casts to […]
she sat in her car eating lunch alone with a book to soak up the quiet of necessity she couldn’t say what made her look up to see the plane become a ball of fire above her tuna on wheat sat forgotten on her lap as the fuselage rained down over the city she fumbled […]
the sun pounded down on the city like an iron fist in a velvet glove the sounds of the ice cream truck crawled ever closer as the children scrambled for cash he sits behind the wheel of his mobile freezer with blank anguish drawn in neon across his lined face the heat of the day […]
close your eyes little one forget the misery that slides across your heart she wore a ribbon in her hair that wiggled through the air like a snake with her every step across the field, her smile threatened to break her face in half, her eyes glittering little stars of the purest blue, taking in […]
it has been seventeen years since you left sixteen birthdays with the candles left unextinguished the world has never been the same frankly neither have i they say it gets easier but so far the closer your birthday gets the worse i feel the sense of missing you just grows more fierce i love you […]
the saint known only as V was a cruel conniving bastard he would lure lost souls into his home with the promise of sweet confections flowers chocolates bits of poetry were weapons in his hands he used them to fulfill his twisted desires his lackey the fat cherub would unleash with his bow upon the […]
the salt of the ocean is the only memory i still have not the waves nor the shore just the salt as it crusted upon the rocks all the important memories have gone to still frames of black and white while i lose myself in the gray falling farther from the colors losing vibrancy in […]
another etching on the long litany of woes that seems to surround the wilderness of unbidden thoughts railing against the bitter winds of yesterday blowing down the open collar to caress the nape of another noose bedazzled neck
the kettle whistles as his body lays cooling in a pool of piss on the kitchen tile the horn blares as the bass thumps as she angrily drums her fingers on the steering wheel five minutes before five minutes before the world was ripe with promise five minutes before just five minutes before down it […]
sometimes i remember that we live in a world without david bowie sometimes i remember that we live in a world without lemmy then i realize at one time we had kerouac, bukowski, and thompson all creating at one time the world was countless typewriter ribbons and a thousand gallons of whiskey lighter, but oh […]
she had the sad beauty of a tear glistening like crystal in the early morning sunshine the melancholy malaise of the last bright blossom in a field of brown as winter blows kisses promises of ice
did they tell you how i wept as i held the plastic heart that held what was left of you before we buried it by the sapling did they mention the ten year breakdown i went through in slow motion as the world stopped turning the day you died like swimming in quicksilver with an […]
the air felt stale like in a tomb sealed for thousands of years yet open to the weak light of a dying sun about to go supernova and consume the entire solar system the ground had long since dried the fleeting remnants of flora as dessicated as the smile on an old whore’s face after […]
her memory washes over every tiny facet of this agonizing existence like an angry poltergeist knocking over the mementos of pallid gravesense the sun shines cold light on the vaporbreath of water filled lungs in the early morning pantomime of going through the motions of emotional ressonance can you see through the crooked veil can […]
it was a transcendental tragedy told in three parts in the end all that remained was the stain of what could never be scattered light across the pieces of shattered soulstuff littered along the dimly lit lane of heart ache magnified
the best laid plans are the ones that get away a quiet weekend became missed chances spiraling depression a wall between the words i can see and the ability to write them i am glad it is almost over because i don’t know if i could take another day of it all i want is […]
sliding down the drain like the last remains of summer’s sweet kiss to pool in the pipes of tomorrow’s decay leaves in the gutter rotting with the rest of the discarded daydreams of childhood taken in vain
she says hello like the sunrise on a perfect morning of the first day of the rest of your life she says goodbye like the titanic as the band plays slowly in the ever freezing waters
the dolphin smiles in the moonlight, yet darkness is sheer in it’s mute glare. finally a finale of finite fair for friendly forces find fate folds feeble flair duck and cover in the poignant madness of irreversible tides never once has the void seemed as appealing as when hovering nigh never once has the void […]
overcast underwhelmed out of range of normal skittish little creature with jittery eyes twitching in the shadows of tomorrow hackles raised in response to yet another whispered chant of mayhem undercast overwhelmed within range of tantrum
he clutched his fists either like a man about to scream at the heavens or the way he would a newspaper with the announcement of his former flame’s engagement it didn’t matter which there was a fire of loss so intense in his eyes as he stared out into nothing that anything caught in that […]
she cast her gaze upon the cypress the letter clutched tightly in her hand the setting sun drifting to sleep in lazy pink across the encroaching night sky somewhere out there he lies moribund surrounded by strange faces alone while a part of her is dying inside just as surely as the insect chorus plays […]
of the four hells birth:childhood:adult:death none trickles with fear quite as adeptly as the realization space is not around us but consumes us from within mulberries fresh with writhing maggots hang fat on the dessicated branch of truth yet the kid plays his guitar on the radio with no concept of the weeping mother with […]
under the roots of trees of verbosity dipping low into the worldblood to stain the seas of empty dream her fingers trail off the side of the boat into the rusty hued waters in her wake the cries of ravens echo off the empty sky to send shivers into the aether of loss
he was an unreticent disbeliever a vocal minority in the subvocal hymnals that made him null he swung by his neck in the hot summer breeze from the uplifting branches of the downcast trees let the crows feast as the crowds stand watching in horrified curiosity at another light snuffed by the grinding of gears […]
beneath the heavy make up her skull grins up at me surrounded by silken cushions in the laquered wooden box that is now her home soon to be interred in the lonely soil once she smiled with the freshness of morning glinting in her eyes now those same eyes are taped closed in perpetual night […]
The birds sang a sunrise affirmation from the trees and bushes. An engine roared to life with a sputter. He lay, staring at the ceiling as the world awakened around him. He closed his eyes and waited for the alarm to go off. This was his new normal. The birds, the cars, the alarm and […]
the flares are bright red stars fallen to earth, they send strange prickling sensations across my skin if i look too long, i feel uncomfortable staring it reminds me of when we pulled up to the house as a child and the red and orange flames licked the sky in a sexual way i was […]
if i stop moving sit perfectly still the only sounds are the raven and the ceiling fan sputtering futilely there should be peace in this then tell my why the loneliness is so thick so pervasive so persuasive so my heart is fortunato this emptiness my wine cellar slowly brick by brick i erect a […]
the sun filled the world with vibrance, a light wind from the east, apparent by the old fashioned weather vane, gently kissed the land and it felt so goddamned disrespectful the day is perfect, seventy degrees without a cloud in the sky and i sit in the car watching the tractor dig into the hard […]
i began this life flying high above the clouds my fingertips trailed in the coldness of space every scar and sorrow a weight upon my soul drawing me closer closer closer to the earth now the skies are a distant memory the clouds on which i rested my head replaced by rock but still i […]
no one loves as hard as one in the cusp of losing it all maybe one who has nothing left comes close new love burns like a comet tracing through the cosmos, unaware the brighter it burns, the faster it melts but love on it’s last legs is inversely proportionate, the one who cannot let […]
she tried to teach me how to play chess i didn’t have the attention span to learn the finer rules as i tried and failed i realized i would always be the pawn taken by the queen no matter how i tried to be the knight she never saw me as the king worthy of […]
it was cold, bitterly so as the wind cut through my shirt i slipped on my jacket to check the mail normally i avoid the mirror, an aversion to seeing the puppy dog eyes staring back at me, a reminder of how long since those lips were kissed, the beard not covering enough of the […]
she set a jar beneath her pillow said it would catch her dreams for a rainy day i held a jar beneath her cheeks in which to catch her fallen tears in hopes of finding a cure we placed a jar beneath our bed to catch the passion as it flowed from our writhing bodies […]
everytime you turn away i carve another piece of myself in a flaccid attempt at recalling your divine attention it began with occam’s razor down my wrist, the simplest solution seemed likely the best you removed your shoes and stomped the grapes of my wrath into a delicate whine, fermented in casks of anonymity, better […]
it isn’t the re-entry that burned me to a crisp, it wasn’t the sudden in flux of atmosphere, the re-inflation of lungs with combustible gas it was her floating in a capsule with artificial gravity, pills to recreate emotional discourse, freeze dried remains, frozen scenes, moments of loss, trivial words that fell from their sockets […]
her ability as an escape artist the falling chains picked lock broken hairpin empty safe pulled up from the lake vanishing in a puff of smoke like a ninja no sign she ever existed except for the faintest hint of wildflowers floating faintly above the messy bed she was exactly what you wanted her to […]
the band of gold you once wore sits upon my finger today, it feels as if it weighs the same as a dwarf star i don’t know what to say every year i dread your birthday the scab gets ripped off and the pain flows freely if energy is neither created nor destroyed, then you […]
of all the things lost in the sands of time, fallen to the bottom of the hourglass, buried by incremental entropy you were the hardest to lose on the black wings of the raven, high on thermals above, searching the world below for hidden morsels but you are nowhere to be found the hourglass is […]
crystal chandeliers cast shadows of sparkling diamonds across the faded wood floor how our feet shuffled gracefully to the song that played when our hearts were one your hair like shimmering strands of spun gold as i twirled you in front of me your cheeks flushed as i dipped you ever so low and how […]
(january) an ex was born this month, a mistake that led to two perfectly carved diamonds frozen broken huddled in a ball ripped and torn spikes of ice ragged wounds crimson ice (february) my father was born this month, flawed and brilliant, my hero despite my own actions shortness of breath wheezing spots in my […]
(may) too many lost loves, one born and buried in the now muddy ground of these thirty one flavors of hell the green slowly takes the brown the allergies soon take over the ability to breathe beautiful to itchy eyes (june) the freedom of warm winds, of oiled bike chains, stolen kisses in the dead […]
she came to me again last night i felt a chill travel down my spine when i looked out the window i saw her misty beautiful yet just out of focus staring back sadly at me a smile of infinite sorrow traced across her face i felt my heart break my vision blurred when i […]
1) it started with a smile. that’s all. a simple smile across the crowded room. like a neutron bomb rippling across my consciousness. 2) it ended with a smile. that’s all. a simple smile across an empty room. like a shattering of glass that was my entire being. 3) how many smiles between? how many […]
how many times did i stare at the faded photograph memorizing the faces trying to recall what it looked like the colors not washed out the scents the feel if i heard the voices today i wouldn’t recognize them i fear they would be as strangers to my ears that hurts a deep down pain […]
we spent most of our lives apart so when we finally found each other we made every single second count we made up for lost time by loving each other as fully as possible for the remaining time we had her time just didn’t last as long as mine
i woke this morning with the dream remains of your kiss upon my lips wispy and tasting of yesterdays long gone cold your name still sat upon my tongue the feel of your fingers entwined with mine lingered like a ghost i cannot escape even if i chose to your memory draped across my skin […]
when she left it felt like lying in a snow bank like lying to everyone it was going to be okay like the pieces of my being were left lying in the broiler as i turned up the heat in hopes they would ooze back together again if absence makes the heart grow fonder silence […]
got an email today about bracelets i don’t wear much jewelery but these caught my eye they make a disc on each disc they show the planets position on a certain day in a certain year a unique time stamp an array of dates flashed through my mind that are burned into my medial temporal […]
i have dated two blondes in my long and self destructive career as a failed lover it seems odd maybe because the two of them caused more destruction than the countless mousy brunettes i tell myself are my type the first i have written about so many times i smell her perfume when i read […]
i stumbled to the bar, in hopes of finding myself in the bottom of a glass or twelve, seeking absolution in stringent spirits for sins as yet uncommitted the snow up to my knees but a fire burning in my chest, the cigarette clutched in deadened fingers the only light in the darkening evening the […]
the skin on his chest buckled and ripped as he lay staring at the ceiling the black beak tore through his flesh slowly the beady eyed gaze stared into his own it shook itself slowly emerging from the now open wound with a caw it launched itself into the air flew around the room before […]
she was so concerned he would leave her that when he finally left her it was a relief she willed him away with every ounce of her self doubt and insecurities but when you ask her she will tell you she always knew he had a roving eye even as she handed him the binoculars […]
i am pompeii while you my love are vesuvius i find myself sitting in your shadow oblivious to your sighs and anger it feels as if it is business as normal soon all will be drowned in your careless disregard all that remains will be ash
the moon hangs heavy i stare at it like a picture of a lost lover.
it only hurts when you remember it yet everything is a reminder so that pretty much sucks
my sinus on the right side is in the wrong way today pressure ear canal feels like venice in an earthquake i cannot find my smile have you seen it put it on a carton of milk crooked little thing enjoys dark humor slow walks along a murder scene and the sight of her
one hello can be worth a dozen goodbyes but one goodbye may be something you never recover from
when i found her i gave up a part of me unfortunately she never gave me a part of her back so i just lost something valuable and gained a measure of sorrow
i sent a letter to my father today. wrote it on the back of a pack of marlboros and placed it in an empty can of beer. just a note of thanks. i have given time and space a lot of thought. i scribbled carefully, john ennenbach father streator illinois two thousand and three. i […]
feeling haunted by the ghosts of first kisses they hover at the edge of my lips whispering of times long dead shh can you hear them no they are mine alone my personal unrequited lullabye
when i was a kid i imagined the stars were cigarette holes in the construction paper sky i imagined once you became an adult and could do what you wanted it was always a party that love was forever whiskey tasted like apple juice and happiness was a given i got it all wrong dreams […]
my soul is a graveyard of all the hopes dreams and loves i have had to bury regrets like wilted bouquets dot the landscape watered by the freshly fallen tears that bring no vibrancy just muddy the unfertile soil
your words and creations helped shape a better world left an indelible imprint you guided the hearts and minds you touched made us see nothing was impossible now you rest and the world itself is less colorful less dynamic with your passing so many iconic characters storylines tinged with hope so much joy thank you […]
what we see is colored by perspective what we hear is tainted by opinion he sat on the bench watching the world, while seeing none of it, his mind was far away from where his eyes stared, lost in the sands of yesterday the first time she walked past him his heart skipped a beat, […]
i ran for miles to tell her that i love her she ran for miles in desperation to avoid it in the end her heart was healthier mine on the other hand never quite recovered cupid’s arrow pierced my aorta as she took cover i lay bleeding internally and she kept running
i wrote this poem while sitting in the shadow your absence casts upon the ground if it lacks substance that’s okay the world does too without you in it
i’ve always been good at hellos the problem is the ones i’ve loved were always better at good byes maybe if i were slightly worse at beginnings there wouldn’t have been so many catastrophic endings but the heart does what the heart wants and sometimes two different hearts have vastly different desires
even a hermit crab eventually has to leave his shell in search of a new one a mad dash from one discarded home to another i feel it’s pain my heart was her shell once upon a time now it is just another facade waiting for the tide to sweep it away if you hold […]
her heart has fangs glistening and sharp tearing into mine leaving a withered mass weakly beating itself in remorse
if a poet dies in the woods and no one is around to hear does it reek of desperate longing or just go unnoticed does the world pause in the passing or continue to spin does the universe sigh in relief or in loss of so much potential she stood on the railing if the […]
sorrow is a cardinal perched on the branches of my heart joy the petals of a lily buried in the snow love is an ostrich with it’s head buried in the sand and madness is a lion stalking in the tall tall grass hope is a mosquito buzzing ’round my ear fear is a tick […]
the first night she stayed the night, we laid together, my arms wrapped around her, her hair in my face, her breast in my hand all felt right in the world and as she drifted to sleep, scooting closer though there was no more closeness to be found between our naked forms she murmured softly […]
they said there was snow back home today how i long for those swollen gray clouds and the soft flakes to fall upon my upturned face it is raining here today far from frozen wonderlands and left dreary and sad no slush upon my shoes no frost upon my beard just the haze of misty […]
the cold light of morning tends to shine upon you things we don’t want to see the loss of the day before the wreckage we stumble away from seems so much worse as the muscle ache sets in and the adrenaline wears off the snapshots in our mind, a jumble of blurring colors, all seems […]
I saw her as I was waiting in line at Target. I don’t know what made me look up from my phone. Yes I was staring at my phone. I don’t do the self check out bullshit. The last time I was standing there screaming at the machine that the fucking bread was in the […]
i carved your initials into the bench by the tree under the moon where we once sat and promised forever to one another in foolish abandon do you remember the promises we whispered into one another’s ears while we made love under the stars did we make love i ask myself or did we affirm […]
i came home to find her asleep in my bed she had on my shirt, too long and big for her but she wore it so well she was laying still and i watched her as she slept memories of a hundred nights of lying next to her i let her sleep didn’t climb in […]
the taste of whiskey will always be synonymous with your lips, the feel of your hair as i pull it, the taste of your throat as i hold your head back the sweet burn as it goes down and the smell of your perfume as we pull over just so we can kiss some more […]
in these hastily written odes to her, to life, to depression, to home, to loss, to pain, to tender refrain, to bloody knuckles, to jazz, to music, to muses, to ruses, to rhyme in tanka, in haiku, of sonnets, of soliloquies, free form, rigid structure, dialogues and diatribes this is a dedication to you, i’m […]
hello passengers, this the captain speaking it is seventy five degrees and the barometric pressure is roughly as intense as the heart of a black hole out there we expect a terrifying flight across the endless void of insecurities and unbound passion if you look out the window to your left you will see the […]
she didn’t remember me, no, she didn’t forget me either, instead he chose to dismember me with her mind looked past the times of smiles and joy, the laughter, the love i once thought we shared but she so selfishly kept as she walked away she remembered to tear it all apart in her mind, […]
dear five year old me i know it hurts, shhh, it’s okay to cry, let it out, trust me i’m you no the other kids don’t wear long sleeves to cover up the bruises they don’t grimace when they sit back against the hard wooden chairs or feel the wetness on their back from a […]
the knife slid upwards between his ribs like an eagle diving into the placid waters there was little resistance as it slid through lung and heart his knees immediately went weak and he slumped forward she caught him before he could hit the ground his eyes met her’s and the pain was not from the […]
i’m not sure what i was doing the moment i realized i loved you but i remember the world stopped spinning for a second the lack of centrifugal force sent everything suddenly flying and i flew with it all cars and cows and perfect hydrogen bonded spheres of water floated weightlessly around me and i […]
did my morning workout, thought to workout the feelings, the pain, the feelings of self induced anger and hate and as i did my cardio nearly impossible as it takes three pieces of equipment to work out a broken heart as they refuse to be a team i pedalled and pedalled, like a street vendor […]
my heart is a canary in a cage, my hands those of a coal miner, sooty black and covered in callouses i carry the cage in front of me, looking for signs of poisonous gas, when the canary dies i soon will follow, it’s a game we play every single day, walking the derelict shafts […]
Mike's Manic Word Depot 