(january)

an ex was born this month, a mistake that led to two perfectly carved diamonds

frozen
broken
huddled in a ball
ripped and torn
spikes of ice
ragged wounds
crimson ice

(february)

my father was born this month, flawed and brilliant, my hero despite my own actions

shortness of breath
wheezing
spots in my vision
drowning
on dry land
choking
suffocating

(march)

meaningless to me, asphyxiating on the pointlessness of it all, thirty one days wasted away

the white rabbit
pocket watch in paw
teasing me
trying to get me
to follow
deeper and deeper down
but i am afraid

(april)

in like a lion out like a lamb, the first lamb i loved was born as the month faded away

doom
dire dread
dissension driven deep
destined
denied
draped
in derision

(may)

too many lost loves, one born and buried in the now muddy ground of these thirty one flavors of hell

the green
slowly takes the brown
the allergies
soon take over
the ability
to breathe
beautiful to itchy eyes

(june)

the freedom of warm winds, of oiled bike chains, stolen kisses in the dead of night, a son is born

a time for firsts
first kisses
first exploration
of the opposite sex
sweating together
as the sun baked down
on new love in the tall grass

(july)

it took no time for the lush green to turn brown, the soil to crack, the sun to smother all

dying by inches
swimming
in a lake of lava
shedding
past lives
past loves
burnt to ash

(august)

ambivalence breeds in the heat, the taste of salt on her skin, our eyes locked, our bodies in sync

dead eyes
staring up at the stars
no reaction
to the over abundance
of light
dimming
fade to black

(september)

this is typically when the rains begin again, when the thirsty soil turns vibrant again, reborn to die

confusion
refusal
self destruction
with no understanding
this life
is a break
between infinities

(october)

laughter fills the night, the crinkle of plastic costumes, faces painted like the visage of death

burning leaves
the icy chill
blows down my spine
a sense of desolation
desperate longing
is all
that remains

(november)

the two most important women in my world are born, as well as the fool that fools himself

the feeling
of dejection
rejection
a lack
of retention
this disbelief
in suspension

(december)

the death knell tolls, how do you determine the wealth of a life, significance becomes loss

the shovel strikes
the frozen earth
the gray sky
threatens
fat flakes
cover
the corpse of yesterday

another calendar tossed into the landfill, another corpse interred back into the earth from whence it came