(un)requited IV

i won’t say the words
that swell
inside of me
out loud
not to have them fall
upon deaf ears
they have lost meaning
i will try
not to think them
not to feel them
grow inside of me
until i feel
i will burst
if i could
i would cut
the part of myself
that allows them to flourish
toss it into the trash
i am tired
of feeling this way
this need
this desire
this constant ache
it isn’t healthy
wishing to drown
wishing to sink
like a stone
in the pool
of your smile
to be swept away
in a wave of emotion
that will never
be returned
in my
of excising the tumor
that no amount
of radiation
can hope
to shrink
i may be
a hopeless romantic
but i wish i wasn’t
so goddamned

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