soft upon the breeze

i was naught but a moth seeking the light only to find myself ensnared in her web the more i struggled against the bonds that held me the tighter they wrapped themselves soon all that was left of the me that had once flown so freely through the warm summer air was a dessicated shell […]

on surfing

i have never surfed never balanced on the crest of a wave as it threatened to fold over swallowing me in the endless brine but i have skated the edge of a total breakdown as the world crumbled beneath my motionless feet requiring deft motion to slam shut the door to demons cackling in the […]

anise

she trickled little anise flavored kisses across the pallid skin of eternity with the unrestrained sexual force of a hurricane damaging all who dare cross her path. she is a behemoth of mottled rage beneath an exterior of divine beauty. as easy to love as an umber sunset as impossible to hold as the gale […]

charade

the rustle of fabric alerted me to the fact that i was not alone the figure blended into the shadows as if stitched together by the same diaphonous darkness a low chuckle wheezed from my liquid-filled lungs as the knowledge of whom my visitor was dawned across the haze of fever thanatos, i murmured he […]

puffs of art

he sets aside an hour every afternoon for arts and crafts. quiet time to create. pensively gluing macaroni noodles to the construction paper in seemingly random places until the scene he sees comes to life. once he knocked over the plastic vial of glitter sending tiny pieces of silver and green like an avalanche across […]

dead patches of joy

i may never paint a scene like vincent but i can most certainly understand his mindstate. i may never write as well as edgar but i will always be able to feel his pain. the more i dive into the lives of the greatest the more i find hairline fractures that trace the agony within […]

villain

i may be the villain in your tale but my story sees it from the opposite end sort of like how marilyn choked to death on pills after she had already been long dead it’s all about how you spin the story putting whomever you prefer as the victim letting yourself play white hat so […]

sheets

her anger was embers my reaction an inclination to pour accelerant across the floor of our house of cards let natural tendencies take care of the rest. her passion was an inferno my reaction was to smother the oxygen from the bedroom leaving nothing to fend off the encroaching ice age. ours was a shameless […]

winking out

the grass beneath my feet seemed to wither to fade from verdant life to brown nothingness of dust to blow about as if the bankrupt nature of my very soul was leeching the very essence of existence from the sphere beneath and she sat there in her loveliest dress watching the ravens with an abstraction […]

flying

it was that flying dream again not the falling not yet just soaring right over the lapping waves the storms off in the distance weightless painless thoughtless the wind wrapped around me like a funeral shroud a teeter a totter as physics begin to take hold but i choose to forget the thereafter lying awake […]

cave in

her smile managed to invert light an anti-chromatic spectrum of imaginary hues a hint enough to quench the superheated center of his indomitable will to cave in

behold,death

it appeared one of two conditions had been met upon his possibly once striking visage either a swarm of bird sized mosquitoes drained him into the perfect recreation of a human raisin or this man was potentially seven thousand years old he smelled of talcum powder old spice and aggravated rot in a hunched over […]

lacking

every poem is a tiny cut while a novel is full organ removal both an offering from the fool to the universe neither enough to justify the pain. slicing chunks of reticent flesh to grill in front of curious onlookers looking for the next big thing. keep walking. nothing of substance to be here.

origami dreams

fold me into an aeroplane launch me across the sun dappled waves to soar face first into the rubble of formerly civilized vistas. make me into a crane with elegant wings to settle on the shelf with the dusty remnants of all the dreams left to decay as life makes another crater in the place […]

murderbeasts

they called it a tragedy called a lot of things throughout history tragedies tragic events that have befallen innocent souls. the issue is that to call something tragic means there is something more to this eternal cycle of atrophy than living to die. clawing the uncaring soil in hopes of leaving a mark on a […]

sleepy

he woke up with a headache as the rains fell outside he realized there was no point in the day nor most of the others as well so he readjusted the pillows scratched himself then went back to sleep. there is always tomorrow. most likely.

News and reviews for Hunger

Excellent Review for Hunger on Goodreads And this one I was floored with these great reviews today and yesterday. The nerves of having my first novel come out have been playing hell on my mind. I have no issues with poetry, flashes that come and go. But hoping to convince someone I can make you […]

ingrained

there was an air of situational racism nondenominational fascism free range sexism topped off with cheerful alcoholism it was just where we grew up. right from wrong was smudged into a gray area. some most escaped with scars a fluency in innuendo with a smidgeon of hateful terms in a hidden locked away part of […]

whistling through a wish list

i wonder aloud to myself as i add items to a wish list that will never be fulfilled where do all the dreams wishes hopes that are ignored go to die do they just become calcified bits that cling to the soul weighing it down until the slowly sinking shade becomes so encumbered that hell […]

sail boat

and out on the white topped waves the sail boat sailed as it was born to do. she could be lying on a fancy bed in a ritzy hotel but she had chose lying on piss soaked newspaper on a cigarette burnt carpet in a run down apartment in any city in any state excepting […]

a prompt from Chris Miller

her tears were like acid on my heart leaving etchings of longing that scarred the inner ventricle of daydream. the rapture of her gaze left lines of burning devotion down my spine as the evolution of her seeming revolution hammered nails through the phantasmal miasma of everyday lies.

acceptable losses

can the coroner tell the spot of impact that sent ripples along the supposedly solid core making hairline cracks that raced along the obsidian cage painstakingly crafted to keep the beasts at bay? or will it be chalked up to just another case of broken hearted despair? does it matter? in the grand scheme of […]

evolution in reverse

i don’t recall transforming changing becoming something less than. yet here i sit broken a flesh bag filled with crystalline emotions left in fractured shards that slowly saw through the bands of atrophied muscle to spill onto the overcast sidewalk of the same nightmare hell as always. the acrimonious harmony of wheezing for death or […]

a tease of (un)fettered, van gogh’s other ear

i will never make truly beautiful art women won’t sigh their hearts won’t skip a beat their breath catch in their throats at my words i’ll never be matisse rembrandt whitman braugtigan neruda or bukowski my name will never be uttered in hushed tones but still i write destined to be forgotten van gogh’s other […]

lye

there is an absurdist beauty in a funeral during a pandemic. the grieving forced to maintain six feet of sorrow betwixt the maximum ten allowed to silently watch the box get lowered. even the clouds above seem disinclined to break the new norms. the world now has a tinge of a meth smile as everything […]

good intentions

never have what is needed never get what is wanted. the invisible man with the empty account a blank slate no name no recognition. if it were not for the overwhelming sense of loneliness filling the hollow desperation. i would be as devoid of will as i am of talent. another arm of the abyss […]

pedestrian

i can’t even make myself the hero of my own tale. just another passing pedestrian walking down the sidewalk of someone else’s book. and i am just so fucking tired of it all. never mind. i am sure there is someone doing exactly the same thing that you should give your attention to instead. i […]

mother’s day

in the beginning there was darkness, the waters above were seperated from the waters below, and as if by magic with a flick of her finger against the light switch there was light. most likely also yelling that it was past time to get lazy butts out of bed. every cut every scrape every bruise […]

saline rivers

it’s the things left out the words unsaid. the plans made with no prior notice the hidden agenda. these make the wind feel strangely artificial as the things once thought known were proven myth by the emptiness of doubt. another daydream cast into the ashtray of abstract longing. of all the four letter words none […]

retirement

is it more graceful to say as of late i have considered retirement rather than admit i feel beaten and just want to quit? as if that way i am going to that same farm stray dogs are sent to there will be plenty of outside time we can mill about speaking pedantically on what […]

than gold

i have a friend she is a goddess that once masqueraded as a barista. she plucks the emotion from the breeze to lay lines of pain across the sands that slowly give themselves to the sea. another friend is an artist a mother a butcher of moose a maker of jellies. she takes photos physical […]

or not

she scribbled frantically as i numbly made coffee we both muttered at each other not to when i came home her scribblings were in an envelope that smelled of her perfume this became the last trace of her as far as the rest of my existence was concerned whether i wanted it to be that […]

inside

she smiled at me sadly a storm in her eyes the only thing we shared in common was slowly dying by inches inside

close up

he realized just how much of his life was framed by a dirty windshield like the laziest director was in charge of the motion picture of fumbling incompetence. he isn’t insane not totally not yet but he is constantly watching for the credits to begin rolling. he doesn’t remember auditioning for the lead role in […]

varying shades of naked

there are varying shades levels of nuance to her nudity. she could lay naked on her back droning endlessly about something so mundane the majesty was lost. or she lay on her stomach hips arched ever so slightly inviting exploring lips tongue or fingers. usually all. stomp her way into the room toss herself onto […]

off

my future is so clouded like the l ron hubble telescope introverted with an as yet uncorrected lens. some days feel exactly like what i assume being caught in a whirlwind of angry owls whilst naked trying to figure out what delicate bits to cover knowing eight arms is never enough. i dream i am […]

wrong lane

the birds fly carrying bits of yarn in beak to build a nest i imagine. the burden bears down upon me as the hollow bones ride the air above. and i feel a burning inside to matter to build a nest or be the string in which it is started. it feels like everything points […]

fractured

there is a fracture a convergence that makes it impossible to decipher the dual nature of your slovenly soul are you just fraudulent so wrapped up in the lies you effortlessly spew or simply so freudian that you don’t see the simple truth as laid out by your mother’s sultry touch. the dreamhammer slams the […]

cathedral of hope

i woke to find part of me had gone missing over night. the problem is with so many missing parts how do you tell a new gap from the old. the ever dwindling cage of consciousness bones or impulses keeps the array of insidious worries doubts fears and misinterpretative dance numbers to damn near overflowing. […]

damned

they say both the few survivors and the lying bastards each, that the sight of the city burning the flames high in the sky as no building was spared. you can tell by the look the hidden hunger that flashes in their eyes the real from the pretenders. when they describe the oily smoke of […]

overdue thank you

i have been luckier than i have any right to have been by the people that have come into my life. i am a bad friend. there for you during mania gone for months in the spiral. but when that connection occurs no matter how long it lasts the imprint is forever. i think about […]

river’s wit

he spills lines of darkness infused with light. it is an art. the deft strokes that draw you in to the battered heart of the matter. then you get to know him. he is hilarious. kind. generous. and. kind of an asshole. that is his secret. a rapier like wit. you somehow find yourself enjoying […]

pc3’s scowl

he has a way surgical precise. he stares at you with an intensity that crushes. it is the scowl of legend. truly. then he talks. the illusion is shattered as you try to make sense of the slurry. you cock your head in confusion. he snaps the scowl back on. as if you are to […]

chris’s lament

one time i got kicked in the testicles. it was an explosion of intense pain. i felt instantly nauseous. i fell to my knees on the gravel ignoring the sharp stones against my boney knee caps. then i saw her shoes. even through the tears falling down my cheeks i couldn’t help but admire them.

one line

in the thrall of sleeping pills where the world is syrupy slow the will is sapped serenely but the events of the day leave the mind cloudy with excitement that won’t quite wash away the random screaming agonies. win some lose some remember the small victories even in the face of crushing defeat. it’s funny. […]

stargazing

this jagged edge is too much for me to navigate so i have decided to just sit for a spell let the raggedness of this world of pain settle into my weary bones. it isn’t the setbacks but the continuous line of them that tarnishes the spirit. i am a stargazer looking into paper bags […]

the void,whispers

i have no issue with my compulsion to pick scabs to draw with the bodily fluids of near despair. every day i shed bits of myself to sprinkle like dander across an otherwise pleasant day of nonsensical meanderings. but under the sudden onslaught of too many eyes. strange orbs that twitch towards me like those […]

muster

broken air conditioning in texas apartments makes sleep nearly impossible when it is a stagnant ninety degrees waking every hour unable to get comfortable in pain burning up it all adds up to make going to a job that cut hours that makes survival no option while the stress of everything insignificant is a constant […]

repair

they say a clean break heals better when she left it was a spiral fracture a spinal crushing the only thing clean was the way she got away the way she told everyone it was my fault the way she made it seem as if she was never really here they don’t make casts to […]

coitus insectis

we made love like star crossed preying mantises. she lovingly ripped my head off after to seal our connection. we were two bumblebees locked in midair coitus. our sudden decompression leaving my abdomen embedded. she quite disliked my musings after in the post coital glow. her fiery gaze burnt into my rotting flesh.

americana in c-minor

he spat out the kind of meth fueled truck stop pimp garbage a stripper would have tattooed in misspelled cursive across stretch marks beneath sagging breasts. a sort of stoned laureate lothario to the winos and hipster types that never leave home without a flask. he never had any sort of fortune to speak of […]

r crumb scribbles

do you ever blink your eyes because everything takes on the cast of an r crumb comic for just a brief instant upon waking feel like the floor is a vortex pulling you into a hellscape search for the american dream while hunter shoots a revolver. some days i feel like a discarded screw top […]

meat

when the light fades vanishes the body is just another slab of meat ready for processing thrown down surgical steel ramps to be pulverized by the greasy hammers of industrial justice sawed ground scooped down the chute to be mixed into a former human slurry sold to fast food chains as compassionate meat form pressed […]

in/up

my favorite color is complete darkness. my favorite sound is utter silence. it is just another in long series of failings i have managed to cultivate in the dirt beneath my fingernails. so when i descend into another spiral of madness unwilling to face the light of another vacant day. pretend i am pursuing my […]

pillow

most everyone is a stain a mold ingratiating themselves into the fabric of life. but you’re okay. could be worse. now if you will excuse me. i am going to scream into a pillow.

poor performance

afflicted to this addiction addicted to this restriction in my rasping blood flecked airways my inspiration tends to be more from desperation than an inclination to follow my dreams it isn’t that i don’t want more to be well to move on to succeed it is that past performance is indicative of future returns or […]

grocery store confessional

There is this story, I heard it Once when I was a kid. There was a girl. Now I don’t remember the particulars not clearly at least but I remember the feeling of the story. Another bullshit parable teaching another bullshit rule with the underlying message of try and not be an asshole. Something something […]

progress

you may wonder why everything is always in lowercase. it’s harder to scream. but you would be surprised at just how fucking easy it is to cry in lowercase. trust me. i am a professional. not sure at what exactly. call me, a work in progress.

old.

i see the white hairs in my beard the once lonesome outlier now pushing forward i don’t remember getting old i don’t feel old despite the white hairs the cheater glasses the constant aches the brain seems sharp is it shit i don’t know fuck fuck it’s late i woke up upside down on the […]

8lb sledge

i know i am cranky when the birds screaming outside pisses me off all i want is silence or maybe some ryo playing softly undisturbed the birds did not cause this headache i am not irrational not that irrational but every trill every whistle is a finishing nail in my eyeballs with an eight pound […]

winsome

she had a winsome smile from across the parking lot or so i assumed there was behind her mask i couldn’t say for sure but the way her eyes sparkled when i waved made me think so it is the reality i have chosen and it makes the day seem less dour

mediocracy

set adrift on the sea of mediocrity the status quo now a mediocracy critical yet incapable of criticism didactic the phantom swishing of a prehensile tail lost in another time squeaking along the broken bands of time calamitous collateral damages done without a wayward glance backwards

error code

the sky is gray the world outside is hollow just another facade painted along the roadside to give the impression that there is meaning to any of this antagonizing sorrow. in my mind you and i play in the water you and i me and you mean something more than passing fancy. the sky is […]

smears

she stares at me from across the dark parking lot with a blank expression compounded with the yellowish flood light casting long shadows across her face black seems to pour down her cheeks as she stretches on gnarled hand out across the void of night between us my heart stutters in my chest as my […]

orgy

if not for the irregular thump of the ceiling fan the world is so still for a long moment i am alert the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end a chorus of cats fucking somewhere in the bushes startles the world to life again but not really it is all subdued […]

craft of the titans

the paper maché pegasus standing with wings unfurled in the sunny spring afternoon drifting lazily through the curtained window watching over the land with a faint smile drawn upon it’s college rule notebook skin somewhere a pipe cleaner perseus journeys into the perilous styrofoam caverns in which the fates stand around a cauldron with a […]

third

i may not be the poet laureate of texas but i am the third most famous poet in my apartment complex the title goes to the little asshole that put a collaborate and listen sticker on the stop sign the runner up is the guy that scratched a dirty limerick into the paint above the […]

huffing ether

i dreamed in it i was a beetle floating upside down in a whiskey bottle huffing ether while reading kafka in a quarantine during a global pandemic in torn boxers without cable ignoring the news the gas fires the walking dead the milling masses aimlessly pacing back and forth on threadbare carpet in run down […]

smothering

i know by the streak of fire lancing through my arm as my clumsy body rolls over to spring my mind to wakeful exasperation it will take time to fall asleep huddled against the wall of pillows that make the empty bed seem alive even as the deafening hush speaks volumes in the tenacious silence […]

another sip

and lo the fool sipped from a battered clay mug the most exquisite cocktail of neurochemicals with a fragrant bouquet of intoxicating sorrow layered depression he had had his fill long long ago yet damned idiot he is he lifts the mug for another sip

art(i)st needed

looking for a ghost writer to scribble my autobiography in audible alliteration someone to sculpt me out of butter based on my profile as seen fired from the barrel of a gun i realize i am less poet than performance artist casually picking scabs while a rapt audience of none watches on these are not […]

19 years on (hey ho, let’s go)

the dyed black hair, gangly limbs, dancing adam’s apple as snotty odes to teenage rebellion are spit over the distorted guitars and screaming kids in tattered clothes denim jacket and worn out chucks, identical bowl cuts, four chords and catchy hooks you told me judy is a runt in a way that i knew her […]

to River Dixon, a rambling response

the air feels heavy, heavier than the accumulated molecules, a hint of rain to wet the dry ground of desert vistas a torrential storm to be greedily drank by the dessicated browns of once flourishing green the pitter patter of mechanical steps sounds softly through the heady song of confusion, obtrusion, intrusion and whispered delusion […]

cerberus

three snarling maws drip flame to the rough stone floor from just inside the obsidian cave at the rear of the gigantic cavern six red eyes glare out malice emanating in waves to bathe the area in knee trembling fear in the unblinking stare a low rumble shakes the stalactites a shower of stone dust […]

voice

my poetry is meant to be sang softly to a beat you will never quite be able to hear it sounds like the diamond rains on pluto falling into quicksilver a faint whistle echoing through the hollow dwarf planet a stiletto heel clicking across the plastic hull of a star gazer as it circles in […]

doot

my fist hurts from cracking bricks during yet another we are sorry our princess is not at this castle trip through the inevitable failure of an unpoetic fool seeking to ply his trade in words when stomping goombas is all he ever truly knew doo doo doot do doo doot doot

dreams, wishes, hopes

i wished a gnarled wish dreamt a broken dream let my hopes become unfurled against a backdrop of nightmares somewhere in this pit of infernal sobs between the hoarse screams of the damned the skittering legs of unseen monsters lurking just within the shadows i found myself tucked away in the webs of misery that […]

tilt a whirl

the four sides of this cage have become sinuous constricting restricting distracting as the feeling of self destructing reaches a fevered climax the never ending haze of sleep deprivation and constant pain makes the world feel like a tilt a whirl car operated by a chimp on amphetamines

you don’t pick your death

she staggered down the broken pavement leaving bloody footprints to mark the trail leading back towards the scene of her undoing a wild gleam in her eyes spoke of things best left unspoken she needed a stiff drink a three hour shower possibly a nice soft mattress to pass out upon once it was all […]

mechanism

a mechanical hiss permeates the darkness the sullen drip of liquid lazily plopping into a stagnant pool punctuates this rasping breathing of the machine fungus is the only thing that thrives in this abomination of living conditions the spores cling to the porous mortar between blackened cinder blocks the lone light swings with a polluted […]

waffle cone

the sun pounded down on the city like an iron fist in a velvet glove the sounds of the ice cream truck crawled ever closer as the children scrambled for cash he sits behind the wheel of his mobile freezer with blank anguish drawn in neon across his lined face the heat of the day […]

times

there are times when i close my eyes let the world fade away that i can hear the crackle of tobacco smell the earthy tones of freshly poured liquor my lips feel the phantom brush of hers my tongue numbed by whiskey my hands on the small of her back wishing to slide along her […]

tired

some days there just isn’t anything but that deep bone tired every thing else is too much i feel like a wrinkled bag blowing in the desert wind between dunes that are interchangeable lost and too god damned tired to do anything but let that fetid air push me wherever it will

crow noir

the old crow watches patient head cocked the light playing off of it’s ebony feathers in shimmering spectral shades of purple and green there is an understanding in those black orbs an intelligence that is lost in the auspicious unmoving form it speaks volumes in the unnerving silence hinting at a debt owed a life […]

a continuing series of ever increasing oddities, part XXVII

when faced with the unexplainable such as say an unblinking ocular exception or a downfall of blood science is shelved for a case of the old fashioned religious zealotry with good reason it becomes difficult to convey the impact of suddenly discovering everything you thought you knew was miniscule in the face of eternity but […]

g.a.o.o.

all we are is imagination in a meat suit a cluster of nerves that have attached to a mobile body interpreting chemicals and lights into a series of ideas we call reality what is reality to electrical impulses electricity has one desire to go home well my incorporeal mind has determined she is home yet […]

long thought deadened

my overwhelming curiosity battles my natural instincts to stay hidden in my cave this has always been the case my best friends knew that I would vanish for weeks at a time to try to get my head straight or ride the wave of inexplicable sorrow the constant struggle of the introverted extrovert today the […]

microwaves

the workers stand in front of the microwaves that have been wrapped in caution tape confusion as they hold their cold meals staring with blank faces as the manager explains that it is new policy to prevent people loitering in close proximity the little things that have vanished in the face of essential yet somehow […]

magnolias

the heavy waxy leaves of the magnolia trees hang low over the empty sidewalks staring out over a city that has been so busy for so long now left quiet only missing the tumbleweed blowing across the dusty streets to finish the ghost town facade a haze of pollen glints in the air like yellow […]

left de(composed)

beethoven’s ninth plays softly in the room as the moon sits lazily in the sky outside on one of those in between kind of evenings that melt away into the many unremarkable events broken by a few magical moments that make the slog semi-worth it at times my mind wanders to her chestnut hair that […]

vacuous reaches

the tacit lack of recoil meant the killing blow was not felt as it left tongue to pierce the inner ear of civility the gravity of the situation was not lost in the zero gravity of the vacuous reaches of her needing space

dust devil of good intentions

the empty faces half covered with darting fearful glances the walking dead just not quite aware yet roaming the decimated aisles where canned goods once sat he drives down the once busy road seeing the sign that states the next four turns go to the mall but no one is going to the mall just […]

slivers of mirror

the only girl he ever loved was born with slivers of mirror for teeth when she smiled it cast a blinding glare across faces filled with horrific wonder at the many scattered reflections of the folly of fools in love as the trees turned green and the bombs rained down from the many circling planes […]

dangling

dangling the view from the edge of the cliff is divine as fingers scramble to find purchase on the tufts of brown grass a fool’s game feeling the earth give with every frantic grasp to let go to just freefall into the gaping mouth of the abyss below better than dangling at least in midfall […]

icy daggers

the words fell from her lips like icy little blades designed to freeze and flay the very soul i hope you die she immediately wished she could pull them back that she could send her tongue out like a lasso to latch onto them and swallow them to dissolve in the roiling acids that filled […]