nothing for Xmas

twas the night before christmas and all through the home new york hardcore was blaring the cro mags screaming of sins to atone the kids are not here yet and i am all alone just tapping out shitty poetry by the glow of the phone santa sent a text message he’ll have to visit next […]

all that remained was hers

she wrote her fantasies across my bare flesh with one long fingernail dipped in the venom of forever i shuddered in spasms as the paralytic took over my entire body she purred in my ear as i convulsed whispering every dark dream she ever had into my willing mind to play out across the canvas […]

trust me

if you light three candles of blood red wax pull out the ouija board ask the spirits to name the biggest mistake you could make my name will be spelled out one letter at a time she hated that i got logical when it came to arguments yet she got algebraic exchanging numerics for symbols […]

reality is the seedy underbelly of dream

the forest of thorns drags across the tender flesh dripping poisons that sizzle upon the brown grass of tepid longing infecting those that stumble blindly through the hellshit of awakening to rail against the light of reality piercing the hangover of last night’s reverie celebrating the end of one bastard day to begin the next […]

swimming with ravens

the words are swimming just out of reach focus is fleeting lost in the daze of the holidays a coup a coop a loop in lieu of anything making any sense the ravens circle overhead, beady eyes trained on the slow moving body leaving a trail of crimson across the hard packed earth seven times […]

a year in review

this year began in destitution by the third month my car was repossessed my phone was shut off and i sat at the edge of eviction my first book came out yet the scrabble of survival diminished the joy instead of feeling like i had moved forward it felt like ten miles in reverse then […]

blank record

i was spinning on endlessly spinning without sense without purpose without hope then she slipped into the grooves worn from time to make my soul play a song so sweet i wept maybe it took the right moment to find the music of our souls or maybe it just took the right needle all i […]

hostile solstice

the reports listed it as just another yuletide suicide another heartbreak for the holidays a mere blip on the radar of talk of peaches and tyrants an ink smear on the corner of the day a click to bait the tapping fingers of this doomed society while the festive garland is replaced with funeral shrouds […]

bipolar opposites

i am a screaming mine a silent singer painted into the frame of the opposites that engulf my fragile carbon core with veins of diamond an arsonist in firefighter garb a surgeon with numb hands another blind fool staring at the sky wondering why the sun has yet to rise my spine is an ouroboros […]

invertebrake the system

he is no longer able to tell which side of the ice shelf he is on under while slowly drowning or above suffocating from cumulative fears so he wills himself to sink to fall farther from the rotten center in which he spends his days he wishes he were a squid boneless color shifting able […]

new normal

welcome to the new normal anxiety depression breathing in pollution where you are most likely part of the problem no one has a solution fill the scrips pop the pills forget the feels settle into the numbness of the constant barrage of soundbites retorts replies facts are subjective opinion is fact reality is surreal the […]

joyous saturnalia

tis the festival of light, ushering in the dark winter solstice hail unto thee lord of the aborigines wisest king saturn all to be equal let no one hold any wealth stand, undivided usher in the time of the longest of darkness on this shortest day this celebration of joyous saturnalia we give unto thee

anything else is a bonus

i have come to accept the idea i may never walk on mars i may never be the first astronaut cowboy president of the united states i most likely won’t star in a movie or write a bestseller or discover atlantis that’s okay i found my voice and a handful of people take pleasure in […]

maps to nowhere

he follows maps all day no idea where he is headed just trusting that the marked path is the correct one even if truly he is driving in circles over and over getting farther from where he wants to be yet closer to the destination he fears an ever diminishing spiral towards the end of […]

reverse

he removed his hubcaps installed sun dials on all four tires drives in reverse everywhere he goes in the feeble dream of turning back the hands of the clock it is a desperate hope that fills his empty center as he draws with white out on all of things he would rather not see seeking […]

the lazy artistic eye wanders

the smoke from the days last cigarette stings the eyes of the artist as he stares forlornly out the window of the passenger car as it bounces down the track he doesn’t see the world for what it is or isn’t just the way it once could have been from the myopic view of many […]

haunted corners

three hours on the road with nothing but his own thoughts to haunt the cathedral in his skull drifting through the dusty pews where he has spent so long in the full adoration of worship of ghosts the fountain long gone dry the stained glass covered by thick cobwebs that filter any light into a […]

in the end of ends

he sits wonders if he vanished today drifted off with all the other embers of forgotten time would anyone notice or would he just be another faceless shade lost forever he clung so tightly to dream that when it crumbled to become nothing but more sand at the bottom of the hourglass he was left […]

entitlement

he wears entitlement like a cape as he twirls through the day with nothing but expectations of agreement to his every whim a special brand of tolerance based on inherent intolerance to anything that went against his own set of standards unaware he is an absolute asshole

brief moments

the moon is still up in the daytime sky the satellite casts her gaze down upon the world in faded grace as i stare up in adoration at her pick marked face the funeral procession stretches on for miles as the police officer stands in the cold wind directing them along their sad path down […]

insanity’s sonnet (a collaboration)

we are born with a hunger, I feel it pressing me against the wall breathing on the nape of my neck. the clock ticks, it fills the room with urgency, like a hive of angry bees with judgmental stares weaving in between the silent moments, drawn forward by instinct, seeking the pollen hidden between the […]

morning rust (a collaboration)

her lips like silk against the smooth skin of my shoulder as her breath danced along sending chills down my spine. She always loved the tone of my laugh, it wasn’t just the sound, she’d say, but the tone. She described it as naked, raw and like a cinema of memories, miracles and glittering geodes. […]

something crawls

there’s a scratching from beneath the wraparound porch a thin keening howl that hangs just under the sound of the wind through the rickety old farm house just loud enough to send chills in the middle of the night there were stories tales whispered behind my back when i first moved to town dark mutterings […]

devils

the devil on my shoulder got into the adderall he is screaming into my ear the angel gave up sent a postcard from some white sandy beach in the fiji islands leaving me with little choice as to which direction to go six six six carefully carved into the soft flesh between my shoulder blades […]

rage

there is a limit to being reduced to nothing by those that believe they are above you that you are beneath notice unrecognized as the same species that when the last domino falls the final insult is given there are two options retreat or retaliate a pool of blood in the middle of the night […]

blurred

blurry eyes don’t focus like they once did as the thunder pounds behind vacant stares the world seems bathed in mirage how do you calm the storm that seems predetermined to rustle the vagrant stakes of nonendearing static into a pulpit of shame the light lacerates the skin of hopeless wonder until all that sizzles […]

oppenheimer

living in the aftermath of an oppenheimer curse pale horse people kicking up the dust of ashen cityscapes winding the hands on the clock until the springs are all sprung the gears as toothless as any hope for salvation the ticking of canary hearts against the ivory cage of ribbed excess nothing but the oily […]

saturhaze

some saturdays feel like freedom while others cast a pall like a funeral shroud over an otherwise fleeting sense of flight the machinations of grinding flesh to paste beneath the mechanical jaws of hubris plays a catchy song of bones splintering along the fluffy white candy clouds in the pastel blue banishment of weeping stars […]

seasonal gratings 1

her kisses felt like riding in a hearse with the windows down on a warm autumn afternoon where the leaves have fallen and the trees look strangely like the varicose hands of the dead man in the box in the back there is a bitterness in holding her like tea left in the sun to […]

pistols at dawn

the bystander watches the self aggrandizing bastard fellate himself for the hundredth time in the last three days and for the ninety ninth time wonders to himself why pistols at dawn are no longer the answer to the question of how to shut the vociferous moron up he mutters to himself to keep calm that […]

wink

he was a self propelled grenade of human instability and insular anxiety launched in a headlong collision with whatever brick wall of doubt was erected along the narrow arterial asphalt lane lined with dreamshards and razorwire of hope airbags disengaged seatbelts cut impact imminent a lackadaisical grin as the last cigarette sits between clenched teeth […]

dirty

she stands on a step ladder carefully pouring bleach into the machine but she has a smile for anyone that looks her way he stands against the wall loudly talking on his phone unaware that anyone else exists making sure they all see he does they sit huddled together on the chairs watching the bubbles […]

of yesterday

the air felt stale like in a tomb sealed for thousands of years yet open to the weak light of a dying sun about to go supernova and consume the entire solar system the ground had long since dried the fleeting remnants of flora as dessicated as the smile on an old whore’s face after […]

fetid glimpses of home

the splintering of frozen trees exploding as the sap freezes reminds him of spreading his ribs in a futile act of showing he has a heart to those who don’t believe the echo of the woodpecker pecking into the pulpy flesh of the sullen tree to nest within reminds him of drilling into his skull […]

iron pyrite sculptures

he built monuments to the monumental failures of thinking the world owed him anything the chip on his shoulder just a pebble from the avalanche of self doubt leaving clouds of dust with every aching footstep in the craters of the giants that came before him from the valley of kings there were no preordained […]

sickness

she still clutches my face grabbing with more ferocity than is necessary in a show of love more a sign of ownership left me shaking sweating through thirteen hours of fitful sleep yet still she clings on in a stranglehold just south of choking just past seeing spots she is fever she is pain she […]

a promise of summer

as winter spreads her crooked fingers against the land of sullen heat the streams along the highway give forth clouds of mist that blanket the land between the trees it looks haunting to the three or four people not so caught up in their own terminal velocity angrily driving to whatever destination of no consequence […]

deconstruction zone

i am deconstructing the remnants of who i once was so that perhaps the marble facade of willowy understanding might refract the bitter rays of winter sun in reverse osmosis injecting chlorophyll into the unnecessary bits to overrun the mitochondrial subdermal hemotoxin of hope suffusing the entire cellular breakdown with paisley daydreams like rubbing your […]

december 10

the sky pisses cold rain while the sun hides it face in shame high above the clouds even celestial bodies are aware enough to see that some days everything is shit

aisle of you

alone on this isle of view this aisle of you muttering i love you in ways to make it sound like random nonsense yet it is true life is funny that way

winter wonder(land)

she stabbed again and again with the blade made of ice so in the end there was no trace of the means to this end just another puddle of red diluted down to a sheet of black ice on the highway of lonesome travelers searching for home on a dead end lane she wanders with […]

contorted

this latest zeitgeist is one of looking away looking through never really seeing not caring for anything but keeping the status quo opinion is only accepted if it fits the mold the latest loudest lamenters find acceptable all else will be decried as hate heads down eyes averted comply or comform fit in or fall […]

a list of haves and have nots

i don’t have the luxury of being self righteous i don’t have the means to being regular righteous i have a tongue that carves as well as thoughts that pierce yet inflicting pain is the last thing i wish to do but it is on the list written in blood underlined five or six times

thus the angel sleeps

years of acid rain have pitted the ivory stone from which she was cast yet never once in her vigilant watch has one of those beneath her gaze risen yet after so long keeping guard over the restless spirits interred under her wide spread wings the facade begins to crack as even the most virtuous […]

lush lifelessness

john coltrane plays a wistful riff that echoes down my flaccid soul playing against the vertebrae introvertion of another nightmare left festering across the sleepy pockets of my mind in daydreams like this i know i am just the soft piano accompaniment to the staccato high hat that shivers in the lulls between notes the […]

self distressed expansion

the universe slows down for me in brief moments of clarity these insipid seconds stretch on and on until all of infinity itself can be boiled down into a craven feeling of fear and remorse these singular instances dance across the cerebellum like sparks drifting from a lightning struck tree split in twain deep in […]

an interview with M Ennenbach, author of (un)poetic

Welcome back to another exciting interview with yours truly. This is the second in a series of interviews. If you read the first, you may know I was a little shaky. But I am happy to report, I have done my research and have a handle on it now. Without further adieu, I’d like to […]

and thus the angel weeps

the angel weeps her stone face frozen in perpetual sorrow as the gnarled branches of the tree dance across granite skin for in her tears shed in anguish for the folly of mankind none shall see the doom that lies resting gently upon her tongue beware the gaze of the angel for in her eyes […]

murder on the side of the road

as i drove down the empty highway i witnessed a murder hovering over the barren fields circling in preparation of a meal or so i assume the quiet drive filled with sudden apprehension as the black eyes stared with menace at something on the cold ground far below then en masse they swooped a small […]

bubbles

i long for the tears to fall unfettered down scruffy cheeks to feel the bubble deep inside pop maybe find just a few moments of peace from this constant state of constantly stating that every single thing is fine living on the edge of a mental break emotionally unavailable to one’s self when emotional immaturity […]

more is less

i have spent the last week diving through hell both figurative and literal as this stomach virus rages and hell becomes all too real it is quiet so quiet that the only sound is that of the endless cycle of thoughts roaring in the empty skull of once upon a time so the fool writes […]

applicable

every step across the charred ground is a feat born of agony the lancing pain erupts travels at the speed of light from the stab wound in my thigh to brain overworked from too much stimuli everything smolders that isn’t outright burning still the sky is choked by noxious clouds i believe i may be […]

she and i

she and i walk hand in hand towards a tomorrow we hope to never see chasing the sun along the horizon in hopes that the sun never sets

growls

a drop of crimson hits the surface of the crystal clear pool with a splash sending ripples across the tranquil surface before dissipating into nothing a second a third soon a constant flowing stream as the lone man kneels shakily trying to stem the tide pouring from his throat to the side she smiles white […]

mist rising

the mist rises gently over the placid waters thick with algae the world seems stagnant only the green remains only the green remains the stains of life’s last refrains bubble up from the sewage of yesterday the sewage of yesterday stews in primordial ooze of proteins forming rudimentary chains with nucleocytoplasmic integers with nucleocytoplasmic integers […]

one more

the subtle art of binge watching the inside of one’s eyelids seems to have been lost upon this always on world through a heady haze of exhaustion the need for one more trumps the bodily desire for sleep one more stanza one more fix one more episode one more kiss one more is the rallying […]

of bears and bares

i scrolled through the book of poetry that bears my name to see the words that bare my soul reading them for the first time since they ran from brain to finger to screen i tried to separate myself from the self that selfishly scribbled the odes to a she i dared not dream as […]

(un)poetic Release Day!

River’s post with links worldwide River says it better than I possibly could have. But today the fruits of his hard work and my scribbled lines is officially out there in the world. I have no doubts Potter’s Grove Press will be a powerhouse in the world of publishing. River is not just a brilliant […]

outside the fire

my guts are knotted like the tangled skein as clothos runs the rusty scissors to trim the errant thread from the tapestry of fate i feel her fingers across parchment thin skin to gently fondle the mass of tumors filling every crevice of this humanshaped sac deprived of stimuli wrested from sleep to shudder silently […]

a cthonic carol

on the first day of Cthulhumas HP gave to me a vision of what should not be on the second day of Cthulhumas HP whispered softly words filled with harsh insanity on the third day of Cthulhumas the rats clawed incessantly through the walls of my sanctuary on the fourth day of Cthulhumas i wept […]

hibernate

highs and lows of inclement weather sending the cellular biome into a state of disrepair of despair wrangling wild witticisms into a full slate of winsome goodbyes as the urge to sleep until summer wins out

of mummification and bone trumpets

the ancient egyptians would lovingly remove the internal organs fill the cavity of the corpse with dried flowers a hooked tool entered the nose to extract the brain then with attention to detail they would wrap the body in preparation for the afterlife in the duat a year ago i hit the lowest point of […]

a hush filled night breaks day

the time just before dawn when the world is still slumbering the moon hangs in pale white dominion the stars shine like gems long carved from the ebon sky this is the time to reminisce to fall back into the fleeting wakeful dream of memory where the walls of the veil are thinnest between what […]

burnt orange umbra

when the tattoo artist shaved my arm for my latest inking i wasn’t quite prepared for the truth it exposed some things are buried deep down so deep they become dream so deep they are forgotten mementos of another life but in the glaring light of the day i saw them staring up at me […]

map of nowhere

i bedazzle my clothing with panic buttons in case of inadvertently crossing paths with other people as i stomp my way through the mythological lands of mirth filled indignation a dogeared copy of the art of war clutched tightly in trembling hands as the cold of summer’s shadow breathes onto exposed skin sending lines of […]

chaoswing

the crow peered down over the battlefield with milk white eyes unseeing of the carnage below circling the stormy skies as rivers of crimson run in spurts and sprays from mangled forms it’s lone caw echoes as the screams of agony become one static burst in the chaos of war

five

the world is blanketed in white mist as rain teases from above there are too many souls roaming endlessly in pursuit of that which is freely given yet hidden behind facades and here i sit wishing for five more minutes with you

heavy handed

my life feels like the lyrics to a tom waits album left in the garbage bin because it was too hard to relate to just the memory of his rasping voice calling out to the gutters where the drippings of famine and family once supped a punk rock version of cardstock with safety pinned pinings […]

childhood holidaze

dad is drunk on the couch while the turkey slowly burns the big plans become forgotten at the bottom of the twelfth can i am stoned in my bedroom with the music way too loud trying to drown out the sounds of fighting in the living room it is another wasted thanksgiving a stroll down […]

should be

the street should be beautiful lined with trees the color of embers as the fall season settles in fits across the land it should be as the sun peeks through heavy gray clouds to give the briefest sign that it isn’t all bitter winds and even more bitter memories of holidaze to come if you […]

fifteen years ago

fifteen years ago i held you for the first time after months of singing the alphabet telling you i love you promising to always be there that moment of clutching you close to my chest changed me to my very core i had floated along aimlessly for so long no place that seemed to fit […]

there is a blockage in my creativity a tumor of depression compressed into a stopper between the words and the screen. lost in the loss of the vision of you that sends thoughts spinning with no release into the inky black of another lonesome longing

yearning for home

the time change has made it so every morning starts off with no glimmer of hope the zones pull farther apart leaving each daybreak filled with a sense of need unrequited abolish this insanity so that the day can return to a feeling of home so this void can be filled with the smile that […]

guacamuerte

havocados crushed into guacamuerte happens all the thyme split the skin carve through the flesh to find the solid pit of despair within fill the mocaljete smash it down against the rough stone until all that remains is paste blame the onion on the tears the burning rage on the jalapeno and this sense of […]

skewed

the world seems skewed on it’s axis tilted at an angle just wrong of the normal leaving everything off from where it should be burning up from this fire blazing just beneath the skin this desire reducing my brain to ash a viral infection defying detection a subtle defection from how it should be leaving […]

sunday dinner

chopping onion smashing cloves of garlic for dicing water as salty as the sea meatballs float in the sauce the noodles bob in the bubbling pot a quarter cup of the starchy salty water to help thicken the sauce before being mixed thick slices of buttery garlic spread bread toast gently in the oven the […]

tonguebile

words slash from tongues like blades flaying the skin from innocent fools traipsing along the road to ruin peeled with angry intent like the flesh of rotting fruit in a dish on the table of incontinence the hoarse cries of those who lost their voices wailing for salvation on the precipice of sundered hope begone […]

statistically average

had i been born ten years later there is a better than average chance i would have never been born at all just relegated to an another anonymous abortion but as luck would have it that wasn’t truly an option then for two stupid teens that let hormones dictate the next eighteen years of miserable […]

feathery regret

from the soft unmarked flesh erupts the blackened wings of one too many trips near the sun of one too many accidental affections of one too many sanguine sunsets spent surrounded by surreptitious soundings singing sweet surrender into the sultry abyss of her warm embrace an angel tarnished by hellish desire a demon cleansed by […]

3124

it was an arrangement of arraignments arranged in random order sighted in the eye of a ridiculous reticule of ridicule and remorse it was absolutely normal in an errantly abnormal sense laid out according to litigious lies lying as laying laying while lying it possibly made sense as dollars make cents in abstractly abhorrent change

a crimson slash

she stood nude in the pale moonlight the snow crunching under her feet she appeared covered in liquid onyx her eyes reflecting the many stars above her posture tense her nipples erect as the slowly congealing blood pooled in the virgin snow around her she smiled a fierce little grin a crimson slash that promised […]

ramshackle blues

another day living the ramshackle blues nothing but the dust of the road miles traveled equalling less than the total sum of miles on the soul. the trees along the highway blur into one bark covered blur as another semi shifts in the wind crossing county lines the ramshackle blues blare with a puff of […]

a moment

for just one moment everything in the universe just simultaneously decided to stop it all hung suspended in a stupor as the laws of fundamental physics ceased in that moment all that filled my head was you then in a rush the symptoms of the universe came rushing back into focus yet i didn’t pay […]

hall of mirrors

the constant pounding the ringing the chorus of demons singing screaming dreaming this illusionary sense of peace of pieces of shattered mirror inserted just inside my cornea to reflect the misdeeds of missing deeds to lands of milk and honeyed lies her thighs her eyes the flies so thick on the unconcealed blood spread across […]

sensefizzle

the land is at odds with the weather it is overcast drizzly yet warm with a colorful drift of leaves blowing lethargically across the pitted concrete from the glass view of my rolling sarcophagus i expect the cold winds of childhood to shred through my shirt yet the warmth feels foreign i cannot make amends […]

just a seed

just a seed planted in the shady side of oblivion left to take root in the sand rich soil of bitter memory a stunted monstrosity gnarled under the selfish need for more in a land ripe with opportunities yet always placed just beneath notice (un)requited forgotten yet unbroken by callous cosmos insipid in design yet […]

boomboxes and dictionaries

listening to gaslight anthem while the media gaslights the nation doomsday prepping in an effort to avoid apocalyptic warning signs of tuesday being a second monday it’s like driving down the road as my father explains the impending divorce a discourse unnecessary in the grand scheme of granular streams in angular screams that maybe possibly […]

kite

tie a string around my heart take me to the park run let the wind take it high into the sky a bloody kite for your pleasure my paper thin skin catching the breeze cracked ribs make a perfect frame for you to set me free at long last

nothing to say

a room full of bored faces stare expectantly at the lone fool sitting under the glaring spotlight he opens and shuts his mouth repeatedly as the words evaporate before hitting tongue this was a mistake a foolish miscalculation yet here he sits expounding upon nothing ladies and gentlemen allow us to present an idiot with […]

16

the needle pierces the skin as ink floods deep into the soft tissue over and over again the gentle hum of the motor an illusion of solidity constant stinging as the stencil is traced to become part of the road map a destination on the path to one’s self yet this sixteenth marker finally shows […]

beauty in nature

she threaded her way in between the nervous system of impulse and adoration wriggled her way deep into the marrow to imprint tiny breaths upon every red blood cell speeding through a vascular system punctuated with her every whim snaked deep inside the soft tissue so each movement bore her wonder inked her name upon […]

who are you

this skin feels like it belongs to another itchy off putting a costume rendition of another being carefully placed over an all consuming ball of doubt this face stares back through shattered glass to reflect a thousand broken images ranging through a rainbow of insipid lies in the guise of emotional incongruence i speak his […]

dear diary

dear diary i can hear her laughter, when I close my eyes it is as if she is still here, her feet on my lap as we absently tap on our phones, just the contact necessary to be united it’s so empty, both in here and in my chest, as if she pulled out the […]