i couldn’t figure out why i always felt a disconnect to the world around me until i found her and it all became clear my body is right here in texas my mind is lost in the words and my heart is beating two hours behind in west coast time while my eyes keep looking […]
in the quiet i can feel them course through my blood demons whispering soft lullabies i can hear her voice feel the crack across the supple skin of innocence in the quiet i can feel them writhe around my brain stem luxuriating in subtle despairs murmuring hatred into the lost waves of ego supplicating id […]
she tucks her latest score into the medicine cabinet she installed in my chest when the shakes got really bad the only things that made her come back down were drugs and my heart beating softly against her cheek she would pull a syringe worth of my blood out of my vein tap it carefully […]
i hear the chorus sing your praises but no matter how beautiful the words we both know it is my words that constrict your lovely little scar shaped heart every tragedy written line by line down the yellowed papyrus of my soul spells a certain doom as yet untasted so savor the sweet songs they […]
the factories along the highway manufacturing clouds that billow over the grimy cityscape angry faces scowl trapped in single file morose lines of rumbling vehicles spitting noxious vapors horns gleaming in the dull red glow of rivers of lava as the skies open to let the tears of the damned smudge the filth of heartashes […]
i woke in the middle of the night to see the wispy image of a woman staring down at me from the ceiling her features were familiar her eyes rained pure hatred in waves that seemed to contort ferally as she whispered my every failing into the solemn dark the rust dried, a trail running […]
under the woeful stare of the bastard moon beneath malignancy in cratered tombs gray dust compacted ashes of fools that dared dream the incompetent wretches staring at the moon staring at them a degenerate pugilism in the blank faced denial in another world another place they would be launched into the vacuous arms stitched to […]
the privacy fence around my heart is not just to keep myself and those i love protected but to prevent the accidental affections from crushing each of us under the weight of false adorations frequently i cut myself on the jagged shards that once formed a real person now nothing but a collection of scars […]
love letters and suicide notes share the same bones so i sign everything the same way so as to not spoil the surprise
she used to sign every note with x’s and o’s a lipstick kiss in lieu of her name a hint of her perfume hovering just above so when i awoke she had given me a kiss the last note was still signed with exes and ohs the lipstick replaced by a cursive good bye tear […]
./redyellowbluegreen/ the pinwheel spins under the weight of my breath /redyellowbluegreen/ am i just a punchline scribbled in the margins of your defecit[heart] a pinwheel to be spun /redyellowbluegreen/ by the weight of your absent affection as you affect a caring{demeanor} the maple seeds spin lazily to the ground cyclopean helicopters of latent syrupy promise […]
she set me free like lincoln freed the slaves with a wink and a nod to the camera she saw my future sloppily written on the palms of my hands before carefully scrubbing them clean as i slept she was an angel draped in brimstone, smoldering footprints wherever her feet touched the ground, her tarnished […]
she was speaking neruda while i was quoting hank spanish moss draped over the bedside lamp adding an ambiance to the mood she was trying to set while i stomped around shaking bottles for one more sip my brain fixated on the her we both knew she wasn’t she whispered keats in nonsensical rhymes while […]
into the unblinking eye eternally crusted with sleep unslept clouded with dreams undreamt falling into the infinite miseries in unending waves of incessant woe on a cloud impossible in its regularity lies a pomegranate dirt still clinging to the crimson bruise colored skin syncopated binary heartspasms incorporated into the red stained fingers she playfully runs […]
i wear the scars of every incidental adoration in the colorless indentions between the lines written for the her they project themselves into carelessly as tic marks form a callus in the callous disregard shown to intent scrubbed so many unwanted lipstick stains from pink flesh that the weeping wounds from misplaced affection leaves every […]
light flares for the blind sound drums for the deaf there is a movement coming fresh linen for the lepers beneath the gnarled branches of the old twisted oak a pestilent rejoinder from sickness long ago baby teeth hang from memory filament to chatter incessantly on the foul morn breeze bemoaning each tawdry sunbeam refracted […]
external stimuli triggered episodic rapid cycling self destruction is more addictive than any synthetically structured intoxicant you bring your smile i will bring the matches catch a wave maybe the mania can wash us far enough from shore your flotsam to my jetsam the embers float specks of civilization like pollen wrap your legs around […]
the trash blows happily on the cold wind swirling in the causeway as the fool squints up angrily at the bright gray sky hoping for a stray sunbeam to illuminate the shadows across his brain he is learning to cut the things that serve no purpose out of his mind with the surgical precision of […]
coltrane blows a hopeful refrain through come rain or shine as the rain pounds the glass i stare through no whispers to the moon or twinkling stars greet the gloom of winter feebly grasping at the defiant texas sky there is an undercurrent of trapped madness that trips merrily along the high hat metallic shiver […]
she claimed the damsel role leaving him to twirl his mustaches as he tied her to the railtoad tracks of another insipid tale of love gone sour leaving him in a flux that saw a flood of would be rescuers cutting the ropes he never saw them tying as he pined away for something that […]
lost in the pitter patter of penguins dancing across the hoarfrost covering my mind sidestepping the rain falling over this concrete mausoleum disguised fitfully as a city the temperature falls with every aching breath expelled down empty streets in crystalline malaise the potholes threaten to swallow me whole to drown in the discarded daydreams that […]
no matter how tightly i squeeze my eyes shut how earnest the prayers muttered to the silence above the absence within whispered to whomever wherever whenever the only answer is the same heaven is a dream for good boys to chase hell is all around us everyday so i don’t waste my breath on hopes […]
a part of me desperately clings to the pages of this first act time has proven that once the second act begins the hidden aspects eventually turn me from love interest to villain begins to creep along the edges am i the hero in this ironic tale encompassing misadventures through the bottom rung i wasn’t […]
i have burned bridges that spanned chasms between hearts salted the earth in the memory of agonies shared the ugly truth is always feeling lost left love stagnant in the mire filled with the bloated corpses of feral adoration written odes to dead lovers whose last breath carried blackened petals that attached rusted anchors to […]
for a moment the dark sky was a promise of cerulean sanctity over a cold gray land i sit shivering staring out the window as the coffee steams lazily beset by longing and as the sky takes on a rose quartz luster the clouds reflecting the city below i murmur my love into the rising […]
i am surrounded [by madmen and suicides] every word that screams off the page pushes me towards one of the only two options seemingly available for a self medicated poet with too many feelings dragging himself across the broken glass signifying another day staring out the window at a world that is missing the one […]
light effused itself through the canopy in unnecessary bars of yellow a grid filled with pollen lazily suspended in an absence of air briefly i considered myself a cat burglar in eighteen eighties paris seeking to escape with mona lisa packed securely on my back a lackluster ballerina pirouetting through a bastardized war zone slippers […]
how longhave i feltlikea figmenta fugitivea tall talejust the whispers ofan ugly soulthat criespaint smearson the runfrom future sinsa trail ofheart shapedpockmarkswhereverhe restshis cavernous skullthe winding rootssnake throughhis steam poweredinsubstantiality i am eitherthe deficient sumin the rambling odesa paint by numberspoetora shadow box prophetdrowningin wordsno onewill ever seeforetellingan endingthat sounds sogoddamnedinviting the thing is even […]
it isn’t suicide it is just that all the things i love are killing me incrementally these poets with their pretty words that make me wonder if more than a handful ever felt anything at all that wasn’t a goddamned metaphor or buried so deeply that it became an echo of a fractured nothing i […]
i was alwaysa mothwith theaspirationsof a fledglingbutterfly so when i wasburntto a cinderby your flameit simplymade sense it was justmy placein the emotionalcaste systemspun outof nirvana
it was an unlit tomb on a small strip of land beaten mercilessly by the sea; a needle from which a great light once warned of shallow waters ahead. now a frost covered gravestone to an industrious past; a last jutting bone from the skeleton of whalers seeking ambergris afloat on the whitecaps. before edison […]
feeling inconsequential in a sequential pattern of repeating selfdetrimental implosions along my cardiac redaction today is a day for screaming silently into the plastic world filled with distracted emotive disconnections echoing back milquetoast inflections my anterior cardiac infraction directly correlates to the relapsed dismality that is only found in store brand miseries i long to […]
drowning in it today just my middle finger extended to let them know that even as i sink this is my choice not due to her or her icy fingers rearranging my guts into a knotted self indictment on the pressures of isolation in the heart of depression always leave them wondering as the corpse […]
the flame flickers a small ball of yellow suspended above the wick a boa of black smoke coalesces around the breath of fire long tears of melted wax run in rivulets adding to the girth of the whole while ignoring the steadily shrinking waxen stature the room itself alive with mercurial shadows that change the […]
she had anatlasprinted onthe sheetsso every timewe made loveit wasa global eventmy handsand hungry mouthexploringa differenthemispherefrom the onewhere shemoaned aloudin tectonicdivisions ofshifting ecstasy
the fine print on the contract for one tattered soul in exchange for drowning in an ocean of diction never mentioned grinding your softest bits to dust to make the ink the heartthistle quill imbued with a breath swollen with broken sobs barely held back the magician doesn’t show the audience how the trick is […]
my eyes opened too early this morning as the overwhelming desire to run my tongue along your sorrow to let you infuse your beauty so that every taste bud carries a reflection of your magnificence carrying a hint of the storm brewing at the edge of your horizon where the darkness flickers to tinge the […]
every photo is a caricature where the exaggerated dejection burrowed into the furrowed brow is but a reflection of hyper distended incomprehension madness in vacant eyes scars squirm fat coarse cords sewn in haphazard{x’s} by heavy handed[exes] to keep the palemaggotskinnedlips firmly pressed together keeping the declarations (un)spoken the ugly bastard waiting for the seeds […]
living in images is great for writing poetry but bad for a life lived alone filled with insufferable longing. we get what we get. doesn’t really matter what we want.
thismolten worldof sinconspiresto drown mein themucked aboutmaligneddribbleof unintentionalmalaise
today is cloudy heavy with the promise of winter kissing the back of my neck as the winds whip dead leaves like so many what could have beens in a series of messages from the aether to reprogram my deficient selfless understanding as to the complex calculations that seem to leave me on the short […]
the mechanical man trundled slowly to the outskirts of town careful to remain in the woods away from accidental eyes away from despising stares black smoke rising from the furnace in his belly driving his steam powered heart the treads on his feet slowly sinking in the soft loam as he watches the happy people […]
she found me in a pawn shop standing in front with a note that read free to a good home i did my best puppy dog eyes dreading another night kennelled in the back room that smells like cheap cigars and stale flatulence with a heavy dose of melancholic misplaced affections she gave me a […]
the only beauty i can find in the world this morning is in sylvia’s words and the wildflowers in your gaze i got up on the wrong side of the bed fell into a mobius loop of constant waking then stumbling into the negative space between thought and action it is cold yet the bitds […]
damn the truth!damn the wretched truth! she was a vampyre!she was a nymph,cast in dusky brown!foul succubus! on my kneesi beseech thee,oh lord above!spare me fromthese ignoble slights! cast thisfoulest demonbackback to bottomof the fiery pits!to hell!to tartarus! just allowthis poor foola momentof succorfreefrom the dinof yourmost foul harpy,i implore thee
my mental acuityhas hamperedmy emotional growthas a defense mechanismagainstearly hatred shown the words thatdieon my tonguefly freeonly in verse i worrymy mute expressionismthis screamingin silentsolitudewill always denythe infernoof passionthat flaresbehind eyesno one everglances into
it occurs to me that no matter how deeply dreamt or fervently wished the things that i want aren’t required for me to survive just to live so i exist in the pedantic lines of unread poetry a half alive spectre standing in the snow peering through the large window as the lovers curl up […]
one day i will cover all my scars become unvisible just some ink stained walking rorschach test that reminds you of your parents fighting or your father’s penis or that time you walked in on them mid-coitus just a vague unsettling feeling at the edge of perception beaming smoke signals in sultry flashes of sinful […]
i can’t remember exactly what it means to be me anymore because me has always ended up being the worst thing about me
today it feelsas if i ama strangerin my own lifea guided missilelaunchedbut unableto do anythingsteeredby invisible hands unableto speakto act a controlledout of controlexperiencethat leadsonly to mytriumphantexplosioninto a showerof nothingin the landof words
she started tocall mea cuckoo clockbecausein our fewdaily interactionsit becamea seriesof repetitive talksas she pulledfather backi hadonly so many chancesto speak but it dawnedon methat i was nevera painted birdin a wooden box i have thisgreat needto sharethe lovethat boilswithin mymetallic framea tea kettleset upon the fireof yourperfectionunable to doanythingbut shoutadoration
i didn’t wake upthis morningas sleepnever managedto quite workits way aroundto my quiet hell lost in thoughtsthat spunon and onuntil the alarmblared a soundof sullen defeatinto the room i feel exhaustedbut it doesn’t quiteovertake the sorrowthat has bubbledto the surfacegurgling tarin quicksand sleepy
i just need medication to combat this desolation of enforced isolation my mental deviation lends itself to this abbreviation of insular emotional deviation even the birds give me fuck off stares as i pass them, beady eyes staring daggers into my own crooked maw of self destructive ambiguity and i am tired so very tired […]
prometheuswas the firstarsonistandmy head feelsstuffedwith angry spidersso as far asgood morningaffirmations gotoday isnot the dayif yourmagic eight ballsays differentlyshake ituntil the blue liquidgets sobubblythe message readswhateveryou want itto sayor wait untilthe eaglefinishes offfire boy’s liverchuckthe plastic seerinto the flaming eyeof the gods ownpenancemy brain feelsspideryit is far toocoldwhen i miss youthis much
once while riding across the cobblestone streets of the farmers market, astride a purple dodo with a regal beak despite a rather peculiar aversion to trolleys the ebony tears of the matrimonial dissidents cascade like tar from the pockmarks running along the veins of the last vestige of peace or love a woman in a […]
once i rode on an aeroplane a wheezing creaking wooden thing with brass gears wings like a bat that flapped in manic delight as the pilot pedalled furiously a small man, no more than a foot tall, tossed coal into the furnace that belched black smoke as the hot air inflated large sacks sewn from […]
this glasshouse bone prison comprising of the chemical deficiencies that form the pilot of the decaying meat golem spitting sounds that vibrate tiny bones in fine canals filled with stagnant truths gone to lie outside in a walking contradictory statement an oxymoron of confident anxieties murmuring into beautiful ugliness as the serpent in the shape […]
my soul is a tulip bulb buried upside down in the brackish muck of unsolicited tears she baked me a cake with a file in the center, i thought to whittle away the bars, but when i looked closer it said divorce along the rusted belly, my false sense of procured freedom was in her […]
her voice carries down from upstairs she sings in some strange language as i shave i find myself head cocked feeling the emotion even if the words mean little it isn’t a great voice, more that of an absent minded village girl at the river singing happily as the world slowly moves past reflected in […]
i have beenfeelingtoo fucking ugly to writepretty proseso if the poetic outputseems lackingit isa direct reflectionon the foolhimself youare the only beautyin the seaof bitter malaise you have no ideahow gratefuli am you exist because i have beenfeelingawfullyfucking lostas of late
drapedin madnessthe worldscreamsin italicswhilethe foolsand poetsclip leavesoff ofthe littleblossomsto dryfor uselater
the cold like pins and needles along my shivering legs even under the blanket in hoodie curled in a lonesome ball of ambiguous dismay somewhat requiring some vapid facsimile of mother’s milk or winsome female camaraderie in which to stoke the fires of heartwood stirring the embers huddled on the couch buried deep down it […]
mute without poetry this isn’t art this is screaming in lowercase
sylvia called death a bald headed buzzard yet she gratefully stepped into the ebon winged embrace of the carrion collector i think death must be beautiful an angel casting negative shadows with every displaced breeze caused by multi-hued peacock feathered wings a ring of lavender tinted perfection floating just above hermaphroditus beauty transcends simple earthly […]
i am notkilling timejust gentlychoking itin a semieroticresponseto this achethat swingsin pendulous rejectionof life passing byout the dirty windowthat facesthe parking lotin a landof broken dreams
let me layin the fieldsof wildflowersi am tiredmy soul hurtsi just needto catch my breaththis stitchin my sidefrom choking downthe worldhas turnedinto a spiderwebof cracksalong my contentiousi don’t likewho i have to beto survivethis goddamned jokewhere shehas to be hurtbecause he isn’tenough none of usfeel likewe are enoughbut where does thatstop beinga feelingwhen do we […]
i learned to give up the things that didn’t matter to simply walk away but i wonder how much of myself was left on the side of the road as i cleaned house there are things i will never get back that leave small holes in my heart surely i shall bleed to death before […]
is anyone else feeling (irritiable uncomfortable rancorous) a little off or is it the sparrows that flit around my head whistling doo dah with no great concern for the people around me as if this irrational rationale b-movie grandiosity this insipid banter the planes float in the air above the airport and as i watch […]
she stood peering out the window of her little one room apartment into the window of my little one room apartment likely, i was scratching my ass or scowling angrily at the ceiling the glorious life of a poet wasted on fools that swim in words instead of smiling at ladies that peer out the […]
la luna ticks the boxes that make up the madness bleeding through absentee tear ducts the fountain remains dry as the sad little cherubs blow horns that will never ring clear through yellow light in the gray skies above
a thin veneer of glistening frost coats the world outside the filthy windows that do little more than filter out the finer details of another morning in purgatorial musings her fingers gently stroke my aorta as she sleeps sweetly, a stuttering halt to my limbic dissolution gray skies mute the typical symphonic disharmonies of the […]
the winds are strong today the chimes clang a cacophonous unmelody with every gust that pulses through the gestating storm between my ears i want to, yet do not heed, the call to furiously stomp out and tear them down because in the gentle breeze the sound soothes is so easily forgotten in the raging […]
my uglinessis bubbling upto the surfaceagainbarely restrainedby the poorlyformed skullthe fleshdistortedas the imageshownbecomes somethingmore akinto the onereflected backin the quiet momentsof dire depression seven yearsbad luckfor each mirrorshatteredin thisundisguisedself loathingequals a lifetimeencompassedby the truthswhisperedbetween lashesyet i still wantto give my loveto you aloneeven as i fearwho i really am my soulis broken drywallshowing a glimpseinto […]
feel as ifi wokethree timesto a progressive scaleof incrementalnone matterance pouring myselfinto multiplecontainmentswondering whythere is never enoughto go around emptied slowlydrainedof any and everypossibilityyet still tryingto give more lost somewhereon the bell curvebetweenunwantedandunnecessary
my mind islostin the black eyesof sharksas i lookfor youin the stormthat seems tobrewjust offto the sidedissipatingwheneveri looktoo hard i should bewritingbut how can itell a storywhen the only thingi canthink about ishowwrapping my armsaround youseems likethe closest to nirvanaas thiscollection of sinswill ever get
leave the deeper thoughts for the stoned poets listening to the rain hit the window washing the grime from world to leave it still somewhat filthy if not worse for wear as the cold bones of winter settles ladylike upon the earth let those bleary eyed fools suss out the true meaning of love or […]
it isn’t that i am tired it is my skeleton has been carved from dwarf stars my heart is a black hole my mind gone supernova so my shoulders are slumped in the most atlas of shrugs without need for overblown theatrics nor antiquated philosophy i feel overwrought by the stillness in being taking no […]
woke up sad nothing helping workout shop cook nothing just an absent ache an icicle tapping against the cardial sac wishing for empty instead of frozen bobbing for chlorinated apples in the open sewer of my mind i have a headache but my heart feels bruised like a plum from lack of you nestled tight […]
there is an infinite etching of sorrow in a perfectly prepared sunny side up egg sitting on a plate with golden brown hashbrowns and too many slices of bacon; this golden sea congealed futures decided long before the machinery took all hopes of pecking gravel from unformed wings there was a man who did topiary […]
i have conversations with ghosts hints of memories rather than bother real people with my rambling thoughts anxieties it bothers me to think i think of this as normal it bothers me more when they agree.
a window washer on the side of a skyscraper working for spare change as the occupant glare out at him as the squeegee squeaks he is a trapeze artist so convincing scared to death trembles at the edge smiling with false bravado as his knees shake in need of a puzzle solver as i fall […]
sad like a sickle left to rust in the dusty barn with a view of fields of waving wheat sad like finishing a wonderful book that went to all the places a tale travels to sad like the lonely that only comes when you realize there is something missing a blue crayon rolled under the […]
a lone raven murderless landed on the hood of the gray car in the empty parking lot staring with a cocked head at the fool staring with a cocked head back as they stare a connection passes between a bond of sorts as the two lonely creatures turn to watch the cardinals and the blue […]
in this cracked eggshell skull floats the solecisms that define the egregious faults precariously stacked to form the repugancy hidden behind tear duct atrophy in my ignoble stare she took a red pen to circle my breaches of social mannerisms highlighting my grammatical mistakes until she realized it would require a tanker of ink to […]
unsure if this waivering feeling is insubstantiality or insignificance but well aware it is the varnish keeping me as unimportant as inhumanely possible the gray skies do little but increase the permanence in the way my words fall muted upon deaf ears screaming into a vortex of sound yet never saying a thing the errant […]
this marionette has the demeanor of a dragon dragging his hoarde of empty enticements across the arid desert he is forced to reflect in an effort to deflect the desperate attention seeker seeking to capsize his inflatable cardiac distress pay attention to the way he casually dances in his seat oblivious to the obvious ploys […]
the crimson flows down the ivory steps of the ossuary cracked yellowed pieces of skull mar the serenity the hollow stares that fill every crevice pomegranate flames dance along the torches that do little to light the ebony maw that opens deep into the earth itself buried far beneath the boney outgrowths lies the bitter […]
in the inner insipidness inherent in indiscriminate self loathing lies the last increment of insidious insubstantiality watching make up tutorials to try and forgive myself applying a foundation to hide the hurt deep in my empty eyes if you could see me like i see me you’d never look me in the eyes again as […]
every poem written is a piece of crumbling mortality spat into the wind to fall unread across the page the quill taps the soul as it scratches along the vellum depleting the whole in an effort to appeal to a world that stopped paying attention millennia ago
the witching hour tolls as the fools shuffles aimlessly down the street the stars seem to blink in and out with the music that fills his empty skull the typical broken sleep pulverized by the nothing inherent in transitional woe it’s cold, far colder than it should be, a pervasive chill that blossoms from the […]
we lay together the sheets tangled around our heaving chests her legs tangled through mine the moon playing peeping tom through the open blinds my hand gently running down her spine i could love you she said softly into my chest why i replied in confusion she pushed off of me the storm building in […]
from the darkest crevices(lost light lingers in phantom waves) emits limitless glowering dread alas the sunken dream of drowned hope screaming whereupon the feathery remnant of restless sighs(whereupon the dusty memory of passion died) a lone traveler limps along the uneven truths spilled forth a burned out bulb sways upon the fetid air(drumming laquered nails […]
just above freezing as i stand waiting for light to change there is no traffic but the conditional training keeps me rooted to a the cracked concrete shivering as the wind gusts mockingly the lady at the waffle house knows my name as do the two regulars as i saddle up to the counter for […]
his heart was a bouquet laid at the jagged edge of an unmarked grave her love clawed desperately at the silk lined box six feet beneath happiness hope is the moon reflected off the curving blade pitted by bitter sorrow joy the deepest wound carved with insolent skill raggedly spilling forth his soul the primordial […]
granular reasoning leads to an avalanche of misunderstanding as the tectonic facts shift the reverie of absent realizations the last bloom on a dying vine is a revelation in the bitter cold winds of encroaching winter derailment angular denials follow the bell curve towards lost oblivion as surely as the sneaking suspicions render emotive disinterest […]
the fool had thought after eight hours trying to get to where he didn’t want to be to do what he doesn’t want to do at a hotel that didn’t want him there once his head hit the pillow it would be curtains to a(besides her)terrible day so he gave up the ghost of hope […]
the stars are the same even if i am farther from your embrace there is something intrinsically wrong with that the sky should feel the same lovelorn sorrow every twinkling light should burn itself out in remorse
i don’t want to complain if i can help it all it does is lead to more complaining dwelling on things that cannot be changed so i fake a smile laying in bed staring at the ceiling going over the mental checklist underwear socks pants t-shirts work shirt comfy shoes mask toiletries chargers kindle glasses […]
