something else with feeling

there is an infinite etching of sorrow in a perfectly prepared sunny side up egg sitting on a plate with golden brown hashbrowns and too many slices of bacon; this golden sea congealed futures decided long before the machinery took all hopes of pecking gravel from unformed wings there was a man who did topiary […]

shhhh

i have conversations with ghosts hints of memories rather than bother real people with my rambling thoughts anxieties it bothers me to think i think of this as normal it bothers me more when they agree.

blue crayon

sad like a sickle left to rust in the dusty barn with a view of fields of waving wheat sad like finishing a wonderful book that went to all the places a tale travels to sad like the lonely that only comes when you realize there is something missing a blue crayon rolled under the […]

murderless

a lone raven murderless landed on the hood of the gray car in the empty parking lot staring with a cocked head at the fool staring with a cocked head back as they stare a connection passes between a bond of sorts as the two lonely creatures turn to watch the cardinals and the blue […]

solecisms

in this cracked eggshell skull floats the solecisms that define the egregious faults precariously stacked to form the repugancy hidden behind tear duct atrophy in my ignoble stare she took a red pen to circle my breaches of social mannerisms highlighting my grammatical mistakes until she realized it would require a tanker of ink to […]

wisp

unsure if this waivering feeling is insubstantiality or insignificance but well aware it is the varnish keeping me as unimportant as inhumanely possible the gray skies do little but increase the permanence in the way my words fall muted upon deaf ears screaming into a vortex of sound yet never saying a thing the errant […]

marionette no more

this marionette has the demeanor of a dragon dragging his hoarde of empty enticements across the arid desert he is forced to reflect in an effort to deflect the desperate attention seeker seeking to capsize his inflatable cardiac distress pay attention to the way he casually dances in his seat oblivious to the obvious ploys […]

ossuary of lost hope

the crimson flows down the ivory steps of the ossuary cracked yellowed pieces of skull mar the serenity the hollow stares that fill every crevice pomegranate flames dance along the torches that do little to light the ebony maw that opens deep into the earth itself buried far beneath the boney outgrowths lies the bitter […]

make up tutorial

in the inner insipidness inherent in indiscriminate self loathing lies the last increment of insidious insubstantiality watching make up tutorials to try and forgive myself applying a foundation to hide the hurt deep in my empty eyes if you could see me like i see me you’d never look me in the eyes again as […]

poets are dying with every ignored word

every poem written is a piece of crumbling mortality spat into the wind to fall unread across the page the quill taps the soul as it scratches along the vellum depleting the whole in an effort to appeal to a world that stopped paying attention millennia ago

kennesaw stroll (exhaustion)

the witching hour tolls as the fools shuffles aimlessly down the street the stars seem to blink in and out with the music that fills his empty skull the typical broken sleep pulverized by the nothing inherent in transitional woe it’s cold, far colder than it should be, a pervasive chill that blossoms from the […]

lines no one understands

we lay together the sheets tangled around our heaving chests her legs tangled through mine the moon playing peeping tom through the open blinds my hand gently running down her spine i could love you she said softly into my chest why i replied in confusion she pushed off of me the storm building in […]

broken daydream of supple neglect

from the darkest crevices(lost light lingers in phantom waves) emits limitless glowering dread alas the sunken dream of drowned hope screaming whereupon the feathery remnant of restless sighs(whereupon the dusty memory of passion died) a lone traveler limps along the uneven truths spilled forth a burned out bulb sways upon the fetid air(drumming laquered nails […]

kennesaw stroll (home)

just above freezing as i stand waiting for light to change there is no traffic but the conditional training keeps me rooted to a the cracked concrete shivering as the wind gusts mockingly the lady at the waffle house knows my name as do the two regulars as i saddle up to the counter for […]

kennesaw stroll (longing)

his heart was a bouquet laid at the jagged edge of an unmarked grave her love clawed desperately at the silk lined box six feet beneath happiness hope is the moon reflected off the curving blade pitted by bitter sorrow joy the deepest wound carved with insolent skill raggedly spilling forth his soul the primordial […]

last road signs and portents

granular reasoning leads to an avalanche of misunderstanding as the tectonic facts shift the reverie of absent realizations the last bloom on a dying vine is a revelation in the bitter cold winds of encroaching winter derailment angular denials follow the bell curve towards lost oblivion as surely as the sneaking suspicions render emotive disinterest […]

kennesaw stroll (seeking)

the fool had thought after eight hours trying to get to where he didn’t want to be to do what he doesn’t want to do at a hotel that didn’t want him there once his head hit the pillow it would be curtains to a(besides her)terrible day so he gave up the ghost of hope […]

intrinsically wrong

the stars are the same even if i am farther from your embrace there is something intrinsically wrong with that the sky should feel the same lovelorn sorrow every twinkling light should burn itself out in remorse

checklist

i don’t want to complain if i can help it all it does is lead to more complaining dwelling on things that cannot be changed so i fake a smile laying in bed staring at the ceiling going over the mental checklist underwear socks pants t-shirts work shirt comfy shoes mask toiletries chargers kindle glasses […]

wrong

at times i feel completely lost pushed and pulled with no say in the direction packing a bag for a flight i don’t want to take to learn more for a vocation that barely let’s me breathe taking time from the things i should be doing frustrated anxious and fearful aware that this constant streaking […]

and i watched as the horizon filled with smoke

and i watched as the horizon filled with smoke insignificant the sky rains razors the immensity of tangential comeuppance they put flouride in the water to pacify the barracudas in the tanks and i watched as the horizon filled with smoke transitive secular polarity as the ever shifting rancorous majesty abounds in magnetic bipolarity bandied […]

collection

some days when the light refracts off the wayward eye of utter devotion splitting nto isotopically intrinsic morning showers comprised of shuddering sorrowdaggers with ebon blades hungering for the heartblood dripping from the open blossoms of pale purple thistleweed choking constricting the diaphragm until all that is left is a hazy reflection in the mud […]

stars

the stars were dead long before we believed they twinkled for us alone making wishes on celestial death so focused inward that the gods we made to justify our own failings had to be shadows cast on the backwall of this dilapidated ouija board factory we call home sweet hell

all i know

incidental incremental falling into self destruction every three miles a dead skunk in the middle of the road a glitch in the system replaying images designed to strike the paranoia the anxiety screaming to stop from falling inside curling up involuntarily the storm on the horizon feels like a bad one the lighthouse isn’t visible […]

insan(i)tea for one

microscopically myopic with a tinge of body dysmorphia wrecking hell reckless feeling way too energized feeding on the manic anxiety like a superconductor a lightning rod getting struck on repeat the lichtenstein patterns dance on my bare torso as i self flaggelate on the stained carpet of a back alley motel on the bad side […]

somewhere

i want to be somewhere that the city doesn’t drown out the stars where the world is not frenetic somewhere quiet but i love the city maybe it is the people i can do without except i love watching people i want to live somewhere close enough to a people zoo but far enough away […]

scratchy

feeling over-emotional skinless in a salt water bath the mad line between cryinglaughingandscreaming my head hurts my heart hurts and the world is far too scratchy

clack

once the potential turns kinetic once i engage it is never ending clack clack clack clack clack clack the silver balls smack sending mercurial shimmers at an atomic level to shift this electron dystopia of negative charges down the spinal recompense of a life lived huddled in the shadows afraid to be seen as the […]

time

the clocks have fallen backwards little drunkards on the mantle yet the internal dismay sounds regularly no matter the locality the fool refuses to acknowledge time as anything other than a construct invisible chains of anxiety until a scientist figures out how to traverse it backwards then it remains meaningless i count the heartbeats since […]

cold

the sky showers down droplets of its peculiar vernacular a rhythmic dribble lost in the nuance of her absent-minded stare when the only urge is to wrap myself tightly around her take the worries away in the warm glow that pulses in her presence it’s cold again today i sit watching the rain shivering beneath […]

lesser than

i woke today insubstantial a shadow of the person i had hoped to be a wispy almost human shape filled with insecurities anxieties a once hopeful bastion of dream no more than a fraction of a hint potential squandered in an emotional pile up along the rainy corridors between real and imagination i woke today […]

the moon weeps

the moon weeps the air filled with sullen tears as the skies above reflect the seas below i dreamt of you last night in fits and starts i found you sitting in the shade of the kapok tree while the concial thorns sway beneath the falling rains you smiled as i chopped my way through […]

one less

he lit another cigarette off the corpse of the last letting out a cloud of blue smoke that danced in the cool rainy air followed by a tremendous cough that rattled like thunder and looked me in the eye as he spat onto the wet concrete and said: each one of these is a fuck […]

unfuflilled harvest

the world rings hollow the rains continue to fall in the blank spaces between errant spatters unblinking eyes trace movement coiled ready to strike i lay here under the elements weathering the storm staring into the ceaseless night that rests just behind your unabandoned vacancies in you i become less substantial unvisible in your tumultuous […]

rings

they take their rusty blades to hack hack hack away at me seeking the secret to my hollow rings whenever my mind is otherwise elsewhere surgical precision of a million palm fronds dancing in hurricane force winds carving intuition from virgin flesh leaving vast fleshy partitions to strut my nightshigers like a skinned cat in […]

treadbare

i have become treadbare threadbare spinning in place yet never moving never finding traction in traction a reactioniary revisionist no time for thought no plan no future no time for foresight forgot to look ahead hooking a gift horse in the hellmouth beating a dead hoarse throated cry of the harebrained hairtrigger sniper the asinine […]

(her)on

his head is heavy the headache has returned welcome home it screams in pulses of wavering intensities of electrified honeysuckle infused agonies he is in his bed yet he cannot turn off the feeling he is still gone too little sleep too many thoughts so he drowns it all in coffee ryo happy thoughts of […]

fifteen to close to home

exhausted yet wired back in the familiar cave not home no she is home together we are home but close enough compared to hotel life fifteen hour day five of which spent roaming the airport dancing down the escalator singing i’m scum loudly with nothing better to do need to decompress or simply press my […]

shed

there is a reckoning coming i reckon a time for the beast to shed the skin of the fool to ravage savage ruthlessly crush the remnants of what once was a man but is now no more than a shell of who i longed to be too many times i was tossed to the side […]

pinholes

there are pinholes in my darkness little rays of light lost lumens seeking an escape from the irrevocable emptiness that permeates my entirety cascading beams that exist only to be absorbed into my inequities bounced against the onyx stillborn heart caged in a tomb of bonefuckery every unanswered prayer wish or i love you a […]

first

the first time you came over we talked for hours on the couch then our lips got entangled and somehow our clothes all fell off we went back to the bedroom where you screamed out my name with every shuddering spasm with every time that you came when we woke in the morning i wanted […]

day three, morning

she sat weeping as the cold air blowing as she tugged her (exist ten)shawl(dread) tightly over her bony shoulders as bitter tears turn to dirty smears upon her lined cheeks a chance encounter on another sleepless walk i needed coffee she needed food so now we sit under the less than hospitable stares at the […]

edge of babylon

it’s so quiet too fucking quiet i can’t think without the music on breathing in the recycled air in this empty hotel the edge of babylon. i keep going out for walks aware there is nothing to see here nothing to be here an interruption a disruption mistyped code deletes the function an empty junction […]

day two, morning

the line for the fast food restaurant stretches around the building snaking it’s way through the hotel parking lot he stands in the window freshly showered in the midst of crippling depression as he stares down at the cars he can’t sleep the bed is too soft the covers too heavy the pillows too much […]

in there

there are monkeys flinging shit from the balcony in my mind rabid little bastards with insane fever burning madness in their eyes there are ducks swimming in ever tightening spiralling doom through my endocrine system pecking at my pituitary gland like a fat beetle on the waves there is a squirrel frantically clawing at the […]

day one, morning

the time change has my head all sorts of fucked as i found myself roaming the streets at two in the morning unable to silence the words in my skull yet incapable of spilling them into the aether the area is familiar enough during the day but as i walked i found myself feeling more […]

heavy

there are moments when the world feels too heavy but the weight starts somewhere inside my chest everything feels fractured i find myself floating in an upside down umbrella in flash flooded streets as cartoonish nightmare parodies dance along the roofs of the submerged cars kicking off alarms that bleat silently with flashing lights on […]

myop(i)c

i am starving hollow an echo answers when i choke down the sparse spittle from biting my lip the entire day i am miniscule an ant among giants that seek to step on my every furitive movement through the big city hatred every building is covered in mirrored glass yet when i look i see […]

hole

damn near rubbed a hole through the magic lamp wasted every wish on idiosyncrasies disguised in ill advised soulrattling cries draped in lies there is a hole in my sole as the streets run red with blood the steady squelch step leaving crimson splatters on this one way manual escalator leading directly to the latency […]

slept

laconic meanderings in the heat of early autumnal reverie(flint spark tinder)heavy is the head that wears the fez tassel streaming(oft forgotten glimpses)lost hours filled with unwept tears diuretic fancies flit(permeating the tenebrae)serendipitous; the bastard sleeps: the bastard slept. rainswept/windswept/unkept/unkempt everything tossed together in the umbra of lackadaisical(semi- plausible)denialbilities a translucent redundancy hums at the edge […]

lemon scented hellfire

i woke up feeling like a balloon knotting itself because of leaky conditions torn between maintaining shape or flying loose across the skies stuck in the incidental half thought out measures between twisted like a balloon sculpture in the shaky hand writing of a non-believer scribbling scripture to keep the devil unaware i am coming […]

lighthouse lamentation

how long did i sit sojourn in this cracked lighthouse manning the rocky shore leading ships safely with crew and cargo to the nearest port? penning letters that were never intended to be sent to a her that never intended to read them the gulls the only company as the waves ceaselessly slap the stones. […]

calcified

self manufactured silence as the miles tick ever downward to a destination an ending the horizon seems just as far out of reach as it always has when the city vanishes all that remains are the calcified concrete overpasses spread like the bones of leviathan under the dim light of an ever diminshed sun i […]

phantom trails

i was driving through an area i hadn’t been to in a long time came from a different direction didn’t recognize the sights but as i was driving i felt your hand high on my thigh i could taste the vodka and smoke on your lips as we frantically kissed at every stoplight or stop […]

of wheat and weeping wounds

the sun rises impaling the sky with golden flames to strike direct the heart of night spread across in ebon tides an ominous warning threats as yet unfulfilled fade into the aether frightened wisps wrapped in silence ensconced in dream i find myself standing in brown fields of wheat swaying though i feel no wind […]

sip

the ocean or the desert can kill you by dehydration but the desert doesn’t act nearly as fucking smug about it there is a lesson in that but i am too thirsty to see it drowning in whiskey yet always thirsty for another sip i gave up drinking things that just make me more thirsty […]

meal worms

meal worms in the flour wriggling fat yellow meal worms the color of old bones sticking up from the ground they curl into tight balls the moment they hit the sizzling olive oil with crispy garlic little hopping old mucus colored tires the world is filled with meal worms maggots writhing in the underbelly of […]

daredevil

he didn’t see himself as a daredevil though he rode a rocket propelled motorcycle through the air over canyons in his red white and blue jumpsuit the stars on his shoulder pads as well as in his eyes addicted to the cheers the fame the pain pills that allowed him to lace up his special […]

chaotic insolence

this picturesque obelisk emblazoned with a slow descent into rigorous decay the world is gorgeous chaos as the sun’s maternal glare falls balefully resting on the frozen surface of the lake as it opens up to swallow the light there is no clearly marked exit just a box six feet deep waiting impatiently the chaotic […]

off

the world feels half a step off there is a palpable surrealism dripping to form mirrorpuddles but i know instinctively not to gaze too deeply into the ambiguities they reflect affecting disaffected instances of rejections prior to the actual execution of escapology apologies i haven’t seen the sun in days now i question if i […]

nightlight

unaware if i ever slept or if this is just one continuous day of sleep deprived inhibition the sky is dark the ambient light a nightlight pervading the ever growing darkness within manifested externally in a display of black on black on black on lavender fever dreams across the asphalt i see my distorted reflection […]

as the squirrels chitter doom

i am reading camus and my sense of self seems disproportionate to the sense of myself others seem to feel entitled to i was sitting in the shade thinking, by the old oak with the squirrels that like to run across the back of the bench chittering profanities i saw my ex today i didn’t […]

soulscatter

there is a hole in my heart a steady leak filling my chest with blackened gelatinous bits of the parts of me i long to share but likely never will i am tired of screaming myself hoarse hoping an eagle mistakes my shaved head for a rock to drop a tortoise end both of our […]

terribly

i am not sure who you are but i miss you terribly today but it feels like you don’t even know who i am that just makes it more bittersweet on my lips

sudoku(seppuku)

trying to weave my way through the minefield in my mind is playing sudoku with the finesse of seppuku the numerics out of sync with the blade in my stomach questioning the honor in quenching the steel in random digits clenching the slick hilt as the crimson stains the squares there is a fragility thick […]

chasm of self

i am a casual insomniac with artistic aspirations i dabble in the lost arts of self-referential self-abuse with the light linework of matisse across incidental pain graphite sketches gradients crosshatched along the obtuse radius resisting radiance radically radial radio broadcasts sent from the edge of the last heartschism sleepwalking through the performance art inherent in […]

buried in the roots of the cherry blossom

the best parts of me the hidden bits untarnished by the greasy hands of familial distress are kept in a burlap sack buried beneath the cherry blossom tree on the onyx hill in the center of the necropolis filled with all the interred lovelorn corpses slamming angry fists against the cheap wooden boxes in which […]

thirteen times

in the obviously oblivious obsolescence of oblivion he busks for change a one man band humming elevator versions of unwritten pop songs decomposed in the brains splattered against the mildewed tiles of the last bathroom hidden in the darkness beneath the landing for the orange line train thirteen times the candleflame flickers in the rancid […]

sixty percent

if the human body is sixty percent water why do i always feel like i am drowning? not just returning to where i came from.

eyes of twilight desperation

i live in that moment of bated breath between witching hour and sunrise where the dark things scurry across the leaf laden ground blind creatures that defy reality hunters drawn by the scent of soft emotions hidden in the brush if she were to ask me what i want what i truly want i would […]

shipwrecks

we are all shipwrecks some of us have yet to find the reef while some of us have already sunk we carry the unmarked graves in our waterlogged bones moss swaying in the cold currents of the past telltale signs of emergency repairs half finished as the rot returns all to sediment where all the […]

johnny appleseed

he was a modern day johnny appleseed casting his soul across the infertile earth with every turgid ode tossed to absently spin in her disengaged sense of entitlement all while blindly spilling his secrets into the wind unaware intent can never be determined by the emptiness when i love you stopped being more than eight […]

a thousand sloppy cuts

none slice the hardest as the ones that clench the knife in lovelorn anger for they are the ones that know your secrets using them to temper the blade their hands have touched every soft spot know where to cut to stab to plunge to maximize the impact to share the shattering ache that fills […]

the ellipses in your smile

i’ve spent so long writing tales of the incredible drowning man a mere inch beneath the surface i can eyeball six feet of rope, tie a noose with both hands tied behind my back in a bad dream it’s become impossible to define me because i have made it impossible to even find me i […]

limbic infinity

the infinite cosmos are the spaces between the synaptical flash in the neural network interlaced within her mind the constellations sway in her eyes the doorway to a soul that has swallowed the astronautical hearts drenched in intolerable ache i am trying to string together enough flashes to imprint an inverse rainbow across her limbic […]

poets and philosophers

i have a fondness for philosophy but a general disdain for philosophers the ideals no matter how batshit insane appeal to the need for structure in my mind but come around spouting the words of a dead coke addled mother obsessed trying too hard austrian? batten down the hatches as the pretentious pilot begins to […]

rainy dream

the thunder awoke me from vaguely insidious dreams of things lurking just off in the black haze that i found myself lost within i was calling out to you my hoarse voice catching only to be absorbed half-formed spat back mockingly by the things that watch with unblinking ebony orbs when i woke the rain […]

believe

she had a pendant that read ‘believe’ dangling between her breasts i watched it dance as she laughed at whatever nonsensical blathering i tried to convey. i have never been a religious man but the way that word called to me between the heaving smooth brown skin brought a bit of the believer out in […]

a series of un

he sits fork scraping pushing his dinner around the plate unable to will the fork to lift unable to taste the meal songs play softly but they are a chorus of discordant buzzing a book lays untouched the words simply swim on the page he tell himself he has to keep moving or he will […]

accidental suicide

turned down two one way streets the wrong way had a moving truck nearly crush me against the wall of the parking garage another almost hit me on the highway the sign on the front desk of my mind says out for terminal dissonance too tired to function unable to sleep the near victim of […]

misassembled

maybe the problem with me came about in the assembly two parts teenage lust one part accidental pregnancy two lives ruined beat until frustration is gone apply a series of doomed relationships vigorously add anxiety depression loathing (self preferably) leave a trail of breadcrumbs in the truancy of hope then let loose upon the world […]

fill the gap

this nothing affixed to my chest like an anchor in the presence of this absence i am stricken with an inability to feel anything except for loss it scares me this not caring a part of my mind screams as i drive too fast down the road but the part in control has ceased to […]

midtown scurvy

the whites of his eyes were the sallow tint of a rat’s teeth as it hisses angrily rearing up on a dumpster in a piss stained alley. if the poor bastard had gotten any sleep it wasn’t in the last month or so as he blearily squints into the noonday sun as if flabbergasted he […]

amateur mason

i was taught at a young age to build walls with every new pain to apply brick and mortar that if something wasn’t brought up it wasn’t to be talked about that in the absence the small words held the biggest meaning even when unable to manifest as long as you were there it was […]

none

i don’t want to go to sleep because i cannot think of a good reason to wake up. there are spiders in my brain that crawl incessantly all i think about is what was lost. exhaustion sorrow and an inability to pick up the pieces yet again. and just enough knowledge to know nothing will […]

transient permanence

if you find yourself willing to give up everything you have known because the destination is worth the cost be warned when there is nothing left of that hope you are suddenly forced to look around at what was once a transient state now stained with permanence.

map

for the last year and a half there was a goal a new horizon ready to be explored a new life ready to be lived now there is no destination the map just sits blank accusingly no borders no recommended route just a spinning icon a painful reminder that home is no longer an option.

searching the snow

she collected snowflakes the first snowfall of every season if she could just find two that were identical then maybe that would prove that somewhere out there in the dark night of her loneliness hopefully there was someone looking for her as well it’s been years but still she looks standing alone in a blizzard […]

grit

the wind whistles through the stone outcropping hanging over the arid plains the lone call of the hawk as it circles high above the varied shades of brown below it is there the heartache blends itself into the vast world of undulating sweetness of sin far away from the wagging tongues of naysayers preoccupied with […]

com(pass)

i rub the needle across the magnet set it on a leaf in a cup of water all in hopes of finding direction in the ever spinning fluctuations of the ever hungry unhinged jaws of desperation. depression is the accumulated baggage of a life half lived anxiety the whip across bare knuckles pushing on with […]

photo-negative

the ghosts swirl around her every movement a host of hellish intent forming an invisible yet impenetrable bank of fog filling the room with the metallic scent of anxious panic she is never alone not entirely no matter where she seeks a singular moment of reprieve from the constant babble of voices whispering of every […]

tiny coffins

when the government realizes children take up less space with smaller coffins without affecting the bottom line of immediate returns, this is when it becomes an imperative to send them back to school so the dilligent drones can punch that time clock. if we refuse to learn from history we can just destroy the future […]

(un)healthy

some days not all maybe three in seven are filled with abject misery for some reason those are the days i feel most comfortable as myself. i am well aware this is most certainly unhealthy yet it doesn’t make it any less true.

spoiled

under the lonesome stars rests the last vestigal scarring from meteoric caress. a festering bite marked arm hangs limply against the desert sand full of scorpion stings the final kiss goodnight in fevered sweat drenched by incremental hell. explosions sound off behind tightly clenched eyelids denying the ravenous need for spoiled desire.

to feel

her afterimage burnt into the unseeing third eye buried deeply inside my psychosis. i am the mirror image of who i yearn to be cast in multiplicity among the varied funhouse fungi releasing spores to alter disillusion into braille for all the world to feel. i built this labyrinth with the bloodied stumps left from […]

muddied

as i sit cross-legged on the floor feeling the timbers shudder as the concrete cracks the embers of the world falling down around me like lightning bugs in a hurricane there is a peace amidst the insanity an order to the chaos of yet another catastrophe befallen in unspoken fear. of all the four letter […]

possibilities

part of me hopes to have a massive coronary while banging on the keys of the fucking 1969 smith corona typewriter i just had to have as another insipid poem is left to rot in the aether to be misunderstood in decades my disposition spurred by the bitter taste of anise in my soul that […]

youth’s eyes

there is blankness when you first see the emptiness of the void reflected in the youth’s eyes witnessing them be euthanized shredded reduced left with nothing but littered sighs tattered lies cannibalized and despised because the only thing the world ever does is take deflate and remake churning them into something less as the river […]

oh hell

oh hell the fool wants to write another shitty ode to those squishy feelings that wind their way across the nervous system of inconsequential chemical release in an effort to feel more like a human in an age of dehumanizing rancor