once
the potential
turns kinetic
once i engage
it is never ending
clack clack clack clack clack clack
the silver balls
smack
sending
mercurial shimmers
at an atomic level
to shift
this electron
dystopia
of negative charges
down
the spinal recompense
of a life
lived
huddled in the shadows
afraid
to be seen
as the monster
that was beaten
into the supple flesh
until all that
remains
is the bile
of bitter
self denial

but you see
and that is more
frightening
than the idea
of dying
unwitnessed

what if you
see the beast
and flinch

it isn’t as if
i haven’t seen
the soulshudder
of revulsion
sweep along
washing out
the blossoming love
until blank disgust
or worse yet
pity
is all that lights
the dark
but i think
if i see that in
your eyes
it may break me
beyond hope
of glueing the pieces
back together
ever again