this nothing
affixed to my chest
like an anchor
in the presence
of this absence
i am stricken
with an inability
to feel anything
except for loss

it scares me
this not caring
a part of my mind screams
as i drive too fast
down the road
but the part in control
has ceased to listen
just pressing harder
on the accelerator.

is it reckless endangerment
if the part
that recognizes danger
is unable to comprehend
or is it just another
failsafe failure
as the meat engine
accepts the nothing
as all there is.

i don’t care
if i do
it isn’t able
to manifest
just turn up the music
drive faster
trying desperately
to fill the gap
with anything.