sometimes i feel self awareness so intimately like sandpaper across bare skin but with the small in scope veneer of the velveteen depression that seeps over everything an ashen maple syrup that leaves everything wanting so the irony of my profession being fixing things as a semi-autonomous flesh bag filled with the shattered stained glass […]
it has been seventeen years since you left sixteen birthdays with the candles left unextinguished the world has never been the same frankly neither have i they say it gets easier but so far the closer your birthday gets the worse i feel the sense of missing you just grows more fierce i love you […]
i like chilly rainy nights for some reason the words like to play on the falling drops there is a song if you listen closely between the inevitable spatters a symphony with impossible notes nestled within a place of comfort sanctuary in the sullen drizzle a place for monsters to dance between the drops.
i have never been big on possessions except the demonic type they enter my willing vessel as i toss and turn through the night bereft of peace left to the insidious thoughts the ceaseless pain the loneliness of a queen mattress with only a fool to occupy the expanses of wasted time so the brimstone […]
the bleak feeling has made me retreat so far that i have turned inside out internalized so fiercely that the internal organs have extroverted to relieve themselves from the pressure my heart compressed to diamond as the seething need to belong makes ownership another tricky gambit in the lost and fondled my daily attire the […]
it’s raining yet the sun still tries to shine through the scattered gray skies the aches that pulsate through the vessel are nothing new reminders of the fragility inherent three more hours sleep would more than likely make things better but that ship has long since sailed
sifting through the remnants of the day in search of that last silver nugget of hope in the ashes of yesterday
i am lost in this hellish mindscape of conflicting demotion, inflicted commotion, reflected exclusion, dejected reclusion. i am none of the things i need. all of the things despicable. locked in step with the headsman. watching the light glint off the wicked curve of the blade as the crowd throws rotten effigies of the man […]
The leaves were the color of a freshly newborn child, that purplish red of a soon to be bruise. The sunlight filtered down and dappled the ground. A slight breeze tried to blow from the north but sputtered before really doing much. And I sat with my back against the tree, wondering how it all […]
she wore an ankle length kimono as she walked barefoot through the lush grass of her yard, porcelain beauty in lunar rays broken by cloud the silky robe is adorned with a phoenix bursting forth from ash into a cherry blossom colored sky, pinks and reds like a watercolor trailing her steps her movements were […]
the feeling persists the lack of belief in self existence pupils become mirrors to reflect what we wish to see in front of us projected into us we seek in others what we wish grew wild within then reject the briars in a flux of insular need wrapped in weeds until all is strangled left […]
the saint known only as V was a cruel conniving bastard he would lure lost souls into his home with the promise of sweet confections flowers chocolates bits of poetry were weapons in his hands he used them to fulfill his twisted desires his lackey the fat cherub would unleash with his bow upon the […]
the roads are flooded across the city as the cold rains fall he is headed to the cemetery there are a million other places he would rather be not least back in bed pretending none of this exists yet he drives through muddy rivers that were dry yesterday headed to a cemetery wondering if the […]
the transient effect of random incoherence is the same as falling through the shadows to find the closest point between wherever and now a reiterance of irrelevance left to stew in the bog of rendered fats regurgitated organ failures and reticent reminders
it isn’t drowning so much as it is willful settling for the silt at the bottom of the riverbed the distinction is slight but chocked full of intimate questions the author would rather avoid
i was standing in a thunderstorm, watching the lightning play across the sky, the purple after images burned into my retinas rain running down my head and into my eyes, the crash of thunder palpable, my heart racing with every flash of voltage the smell of ozone burning mixed with that fresh rain scent, masking […]
the birds have reawoken from the winter blast that reset the world into a frozen representation of non-essential steps to rationalizing the insipid in the insufferable sufferings they sing outside with the milquetoast blatherings of feathered insanity trilling the turgid death chants of former thunder lizard glories a keening on the blooming verdancy of vapid […]
i found myself falling it was inexplicable but there i was the wind screaming in my ears eyes watering arms akimbo falling through the rapidly darkening skies towards a land that was unfamiliar i couldn’t say how i got there not through the screams at least i am not confidant this is a dream as […]
i would like to live in a world where raccoons are the gangsters they look like they should be i don’t care if emus remain screw them
some days she would rest her head on the flat pillow staring at the ceiling for a sign that whatever this is is something more than what it appears to be most days ended much the same much the shame for a rapidly deteriorating self image but every once in a while she could drag […]
lately i have spent a lot of time thinking about moose i think my next obsession is going to be finches but in my heart of hearts i like kitties and crows so there is always that
she tied the cords around my throat played my vocal chords like a violinist in the first chair of the orchestra of the damned sending my own words reverberating through the desolate emptiness of my personal concert hall playing my fears and passions like an auteur leaving nothing but blood flecked lips curled into a […]
it isn’t that he wanted to fight but the thought of exchanging fisticuffs made the doldrums of the day seem less inconsequential in some mesmerising way so he spat blood with fragments of tooth onto the rain slicked sidewalk with a wary smile that showed somewhat a physical manifestation of the inner agony was a […]
i don’t wish death upon anyone i visualize it with painstaking care then i pour it into words across the paper how the blood beads up in the initial slice the affect heightened blood pressure has the gentle arc of arterial spray no i would never wish death upon someone but I will revel in […]
the air is cynically sublime in the way it sucks the will to live from gasping lungs the sky is petulant in shades of gray the lazy rays of light marionette strings on an uncaring land the carcass of hope has been hollowed out to fit a family of five comfortably in the filthy residue […]
it isn’t growing soft as the years continue the tally the odometer reaches towards the upper limits of spatial awareness when i was a kid i got a bicycle and we put a thousand miles on it over the stretch of one summer filled with reckless abandon now as i get old and the distance […]
the salt of the ocean is the only memory i still have not the waves nor the shore just the salt as it crusted upon the rocks all the important memories have gone to still frames of black and white while i lose myself in the gray falling farther from the colors losing vibrancy in […]
Tomorrow is eight letters that reek of impending doom. The air is ripe with fuckery. The apocalypse looms between the bulbous eyes of the pockmarked squirrel attending the closing act of the syphilitic going out of business sale at the whorehouse of invalid bears. The apple is ripe with maggots swimming in the pulpy brown […]
she was a nocturnal transmission to my satellite cortex just another dash of white noise to pollute the airwaves of the missed connection in my hypothalamus my antenna snapped low to the frontal lobe leaves much to be said for my reception this defective detective that smokes a pipe in my general malaise there were […]
some days are no good awful sons of bitches today is one of those.
she wore concrete stilletos a razor wire brassiere the thin line of her thong a fuse my gaze set aflame as she strutted across the room with heavy steps dripping lust hungry eyes follow the trail of ash as it traces along the curves of her gorgeous frame knowing the gray will soon be all […]
two weeks ago we hit critical need for laundry and groceries as a true pro i was able to manage with a three dollar load of work essentials allowing for post shower nude lounging to balance it out i could easily blame it on not having the cash but i had put ten bucks in […]
the traffic is at a standstill like rows of angry crabs waiting re-entry into the ocean big claws snapping while the little claw taps the asphalt chittering back and forth as they face perpendicular to the highway a terrapin convention to the north as they crawl upon the high-rise ramps like the world’s worst rollercoaster […]
no matter how many stories into the sky the elevator takes you or marble floors granite counters gold embossed toilets there will still be a stagnant fetid puddle of piss on the floor to navigate no matter how many millions of dollars that are made in the adjoining offices someone is wrecking the restroom the […]
have you ever had to choose between medicine and food then realize you cannot afford either in a civilized age filled with supposedly civilized people on a somewhat civilized planet the poverty rate is in an inverse proportion to the to the ones that control the bulk of the wealth but that is just how […]
some days there are no words to explain the constant state of panic that colors the world a hellspike driven deeply into the sternum keeps the light of anything resembling joy at bay
there is no greater beauty than in the eyes of utmost tragedy the shattering lends prismatic interpretation of insular pain that is why holding tightly to the broken tends to cut both standing in the eye of the maelstrom as shards of awareness spin at the pinnacle of rock bottom lies a harsh truth unpossible […]
she was a corpse flower with tendrils that swept across the everdusk of my wilted sorrow the sticky pollen coated everything in the open air market of this strange secondhand soul she never feared burning down the haphazardly stacked tinder bundles of hopeful adoration now the world is covered in ash as the sickly sweet […]
it was less dine and dash then done and dense the dangling particular of participles and pageantry deny the peevish the peckish dinner of pasteurized dentata i egress i regress i degress into a spot of trouble trailing turbulent times as gestation receeds the tumultuous trials of triangular longing leaving trembling tumors to trespass the […]
the world is a string of ones and zeros laid out in seemingly random disarray across the optical dismay of another synthetic symbiosis synthesize intuition from the chemical dump left in brain pan of flickering lights flashing synapses reiterate the alignment of this false sense of reality into a cypher of semi-autonomous hive minded reflections […]
the office is a regurgitation of seventies motif with avocado greens burnt orange and dark chocolate brown the walls have a strange cube pattern it feels as if i have fallen into the overlook hotel in the middle of texas outside the window the blustery dallas skyline looks angry with dark gray clouds threatening to […]
i get a little moribund when the air is cold and the rain won’t stop fucking falling i get a little antisocial when the words choke me yet all i do is stare at the blank screen there’s this krakatoan scar across the insides of my eyelids like an afterimage of her smile you can […]
the world seems so confusing when the fog hangs heavy over the once clear vistas yet still the maps lead us towards our destinations as if there is nothing to fear hidden around us so still i drive down once familiar roads towards a place i would rather not travel to working towards an end […]
the thunder rattles the calcified bits of dead dream in the long silent solace of who i once was the rains pummel the windows of the squalor while reality rolls in the collected trash of another failed attempt at life beyond the daily allotment of means dribbled across the failings of my icarus like fanciful […]
another etching on the long litany of woes that seems to surround the wilderness of unbidden thoughts railing against the bitter winds of yesterday blowing down the open collar to caress the nape of another noose bedazzled neck
they strode across the snowy fields a line across the horizon rifles over shoulders feet in step with the drummer’s staccato pace the reactionary war to perceived slights bringing out the warriors from behind their fiercely tapping keyboards the steady call to not shoot until they see the whites of their lies defending the indefensible […]
the shallow mimicry screams at me as the words fall from mute lips to be showered upon deaf ears again i search my skin for an impossible to pronounce swedish sounding glob of consonants and umlauted vowels some assembly required product was assuredly damaged in shipping no returns not liable for pedantic poems another case […]
another dreary day in the back half of a city covered in grime the boarded up windows of strip clubs adult shops and small stores that once accumulated dreams gone to out of business signs he sits in front of the pump as a line of cars forms behind him yet he pays no heed […]
i feel the lick of the lashes as the inexplicable whips of rancid understanding leave lines of bloody reminders down the length of my ability to verbalize this nauseating truth the blissful ignorance of a life left painless long since discarded with childhood fantasies in the ditch of stagnant refusals it is a form of […]
i have looked everywhere for the thing i have misplaced for the thing i have forgotten for the thing that tickles the back of my foggy mind on a chill winter day in the middle of another mental break in the same lost anthem of hope in the midst of betrayal it isn’t anywhere even […]
it isn’t like i am an amnesiac it’s just that i have shredded every memory so the burden of guilt is just another dumpster fire in the distance it isn’t like i am a human being it’s more like i am a human who is being inert like one of the noble gases but without […]
we weren’t two adjoining puzzle pieces nor her the itch while my pensive hands scratched furiously we weren’t the sun and moon we just were like two ancillary stars just out of frame pulsing quasars that tapped a singular message of maybe not forever but how about for now there was a subtle beauty to […]
her smile curled around the ventricular gasp of a fading heart coiled tightly her petulant gaze injects the sweetest venom articulating the arterial silence within
it spilled across the rain slicked sidewalk in a puddle of the deepest crimson a waterfall of ruby with pink foam as it sprayed serenely in great arcs into the misty overcast morning in the center of nowhere population everyone all he could do is stare dumbfoundedly at the white plastic cap in his hand […]
they say you never really fail if you tried your best but tell that to my bank account as it goes overdrawn again it is hard not to lose faith in your ability when all you’re able to do is beg for scraps which is no ability at all
there was a way an ethereal sway to the hidden currents making her hair dance as i stared in horror at her broken form just beneath the placid surface she appeared as if under glass poorly formed by an arthritic glass blower at the end of another long day with sore hips and back i […]
she wears the tiara of muse as if the sun doesn’t glint from the jewel encrusted band to blind her as she strides across the landscape of my mind with gentle steps to crush all meaning from my lack of understanding yet each time she gazes at my wonder she only sees the gears spinning […]
the candle burns down the rivulets of wax long since spilled over the brass holder as tendrils of manic dream to slowly encroach upon the blank vellum where the quill sits untouched for the last hour a fevered thought races from all angles of diseased angels falling like dying stars to crash into the dry […]
if you are raised with spicy foods you build a natural tolerance to the heat this explains my drinking coffee black as the bitter tang of disappointment has rendered my tongue numb in the battered tapestry of my soul large sections have been bleached white with only the afterimage of dream in the fine threads […]
the kettle whistles as his body lays cooling in a pool of piss on the kitchen tile the horn blares as the bass thumps as she angrily drums her fingers on the steering wheel five minutes before five minutes before the world was ripe with promise five minutes before just five minutes before down it […]
there are these little gnats flying around my place, every where i look i see them at least i think i do, sometimes i sit here and wonder if they are little wisps of dying dreams struggling to catch my eye and remind me there is more to… this i set out cups of vinegar […]
i know the streets of my city like the back of my mother’s hand the details are fuzzy until it strikes me across the face i sit in the parking lot tasting blood before spitting a tooth onto the dirty asphalt i know the skyline out the highrise windows like gazing into my father’s eyes […]
every lie you laid like a hen in the roost that you sat on nurtured let hatch knowing the damage they would do but taking great pleasure in the chaos you willingly have sown one day they will come back to you like the million daggers cast into those that have trusted none shall gather […]
it hasn’t stopped raining yet today as i lay here in the dark wishing you were curled up beside me the rain lulls a sense of calm even as the torrential fallings woke me from fever induced dream yet as i reach in the dark to my left nothing greets me beside the crater like […]
when you left i forgot how to speak, my tongue grew heavy in my mouth, a slab of raw liver, awkwardly flapping up and down but the noises that came out were little more than moans and groans i lost the ability to conjugate, to articulate, to conversate, to concentrate on anything but was that […]
drowning on dry land lungs filled with fluid thick and viscous suffocating every breath that wheezes it’s way in or out it is bound to get better or not a nap that might do the trick
as i lay in fever soaked nightmare her smile calls forth through the night the sickness claws upon my chest wheezing wet coughs fill the dark room around me she casts down her halo of light to offer relief in the sullen suffering no matter how bad it may be she is the hope in […]
as i shed this skin like a diseased pauper loosing my spoiled meal into the gutter of indignant spite the wretched clouds that mask the cerulean skies cast naught but bitter spittle down to smear the rot of this incomprehensible failing across the cobblestone streets that spiral leading deeper into the nowhere of lost ambition […]
she was walking down the road alone a backpack over a shoulder tears in her eyes i saw her approached cautiously she had the look of a deer in the woods that heard a branch snap escape written in her bright blue eyes as she stared at me we made small talk for a moment […]
in the brine of resolute redaction the sole soul of solitary dissonance finds purpose behind the bitter sighs of retracted heartspun shade there are billions of words yet not one that can describe in totality the encroaching madness of choking down the sobs of loss and need with any certainty the bitterness tastes sweet as […]
i have given up on dreams because for a brief moment i had tasted reality and the hollow moments after waking are just shards of glass driven deep into the third eye of hope an instance of the cure exacerbating the disease
it is in the purview of the hyperbolic to prance upon the bones of pretense with no preamble or precognition planning ahead is akin to playing the role of funeral director in the final act of one’s own one person play of feeble ambiguity so on he scribbles onto the few remaining unblemished pieces of […]
he clutched her close to his chest feeling the heat leave his body as the chill of the grave brought on hypothermia symptoms like necrosis that spread through the spiderweb maze of blackening veins
a sudden shift of forty degrees flurries of snowflakes unable to survive the still warm ground yet defiant in desire to fly it is a storm of confusion as the upper atmosphere refuses to consider the needs of ground level necessity this echoes through my cracked soul as my brain signals in direct opposition to […]
she smiled when she talked about falling in love her eyes grew distant as she recalled that exact moment of chemical intoxication of infatuation she never talks about falling out of love but there are moments when the sadness is etched into her features by a masterstroke of devastation of isolation i just wish she […]
she had considered herself a mistress of topiary so it came as no surprise when i awoke to the sound of shears in the middle of the night as she ran the cold steel across my flesh in an effort to carve the shape she saw within me to the surface with every cut every […]
he sees signs in everything searching the mercury induced sickness of the everyday cyclone of indistinct distinctions seeking answers to unasked questions unanswerable queries
the clock in the clock tower is ten minutes slow or maybe i jumped backwards against the flow of the arduous river that seeks to break me down i cannot recall the last fifteen minutes but i am aware i have lived them as nauseum no matter what that tower tries to tell me as […]
she waved her hands over the crystal ball on the table between us muttering under her breath while i stared at the mists as they swirled thickly within the globe then she stopped arched an eyebrow at me as her lip curled in disdain with no pomp she stood and pointed towards the door behind […]
the comfortable shirt hidden amongst the skeletons in my closet is made of fire retardant asbestos every time i slide it over my head i can feel the carcinogens permeate the porous surface of another day spent thinking oh poor me there is something soothing about ingesting poison and calling it the cure maybe because […]
the car ahead of me drives through the drifting leaves on the quiet back road sending a cloud of shimmering detritus floating like a school of fish into the air they seem to move of their own accord darting on the exhaust fumes all around me as if i had fallen into a new world […]
sometimes i remember that we live in a world without david bowie sometimes i remember that we live in a world without lemmy then i realize at one time we had kerouac, bukowski, and thompson all creating at one time the world was countless typewriter ribbons and a thousand gallons of whiskey lighter, but oh […]
he said he could read people see them for who they really were not who they projected to the world at large it didn’t seem possible until the day he saw her and was immediately stricken blind that is the day i became a believer
i have kept my eyes closed this morning clinging tight to the remnants of dream my nose flush with her scent my tongue infused with her taste if i dare open my eyes even for a moment i know it will all fade away
in the middle of Wisconsin lived a man in an old wooden shack he fancied himself quite the tailor and created his own shirt and slacks but there was one little problem his new outfits were quite a mess because Ed Gein had a strange fashion and his outfits were all made out of flesh […]
she had the sad beauty of a tear glistening like crystal in the early morning sunshine the melancholy malaise of the last bright blossom in a field of brown as winter blows kisses promises of ice
the penance of rigorous self denial is the panic of riotous self dismissal i am an anthropomorphic house of cards built to serve as a storm wall it is increasingly difficult to gauge the tensile strength of hope against a mountain of evidence as all the king’s horses and all the king’s men are shattered […]
i used to think i had a weak spot for you but over time i realize it is a structural integrity issue because every time you come around i feel as if i could collapse i can feel the void in the basic building blocks of who i am filled with a deficiency that can […]
i write to you in poetry because the words would stick in my throat if i tried to say them out loud i write to the world in poetry because the feelings are more than i can leave bare in the light i write it all in metaphors so it muddies the waters between lip […]
i have never seen a gigantic squid but that doesn’t stop me from dreaming about the hunter in the inky black i have never ran my fingers through the rings of saturn but i can feel the icy drift on my fingertips in the quiet so many illusions, delusions, intrusions, a mass confusion in a […]
from the cracked rock flows the sweetest spring dancing down the crags to pool gently before running across the gravel of once mighty stone cutting deeper into the forest floor dappled with light falling through the waving canopy above a doe bows to drink a crown of gnats buzzing around her head as the underbrush […]
the cigarette sits smoking in the glazed ceramic ashtray on the dark wooden table a glass of amber whiskey sweats as the three ice cubes slowly melt in the hot summer air the sound of miles playing softly in the background punctuates the sounds of the busy street outside he sits in a yellow sweat […]
the moon looks like the crescents of blood pooling in my palms as anxiety clenches my hand in her loving embrace the angelic host sings hallelujah as the spots grow to encompass my vision like celluloid burning in frames of divine combustion
i would pretend to not hear her so she would have to say my name make incidental contact send shivers of pleasure down my spine with the way her lips and tongue formed the words electricity at the touch of her fingers so in the heavy silence of sorrow the fear of clinical necrophilia has […]
is it any wonder he hides in his cave wary of any sounds from the outside world he hears the crackle of fires raging the whistle of bombs dropping punctuated by heavy sighs so he buries his head afraid if he sees his shadow it will mean six more weeks of horror.
sometimes everything just seems so goddamned bleak it is a wonder the sun ever shined at all
the endless sorry the princess is in another castle routine of running across battlefields in search of peace is the proverbial dog chasing its tail unsure what will happen when the damned thing is finally caught spending all the time chasing phantoms that it becomes the pursuit not the eventual end is there any benefit […]
it’s another day staring at gray skies in another parking garage in another dead end day of less than optimal mental health alone craving the comfort of a shared mindscape in this insanity of numbed reality press your lips to mine as the wobbly spin of the globe sends the desperation of a billion souls […]
her eyes dart back and forth as the walls steadily close in on her the floor becomes lava the ceiling lowers and all she can do is smile some days are a struggle while others are for giving in to the inevitable giving up on the struggles of fighting another day she doesn’t care because […]
the broken husk drags itself across the dead grass drawn by need by necessity it’s every moment one of endless hunger numbed with the icy blade of death driven by mindless intinct a trail of rotten flesh infested with squirming fat maggots as air whistles from collapsed lungs the milky white gaze sees nothing the […]
