there is a autumnal ache in this false spring of decaying promise and unexpected shivers, dust motes hang heavy on the swollen symphony strummed lightly across tattered old heartstrings. ill intent permeates these overflowing salted rivers of unshed tears from lost lovers last laconic demise, the sparrows sing mutely no soft whistles in this heady […]

the air thrums with potential heartbursts of compressed recalcitrance, the moon hangs moribund in sickly shades of amber tinted umbrageousness. and here i lay sadly listening to the sickly thump hiss of corroded arteries, my mind tangled in webbing from lies spun in silvery tongued sanctimonies. less a scribe than an idiot awash in an […]

tied up in nots a net of blank refusals raining nuclear dismissals from the hell that is the human condition conditioned to instinctually huntfightandfuck in a soft land of store bought nonessentials prepackaged pineal processes recycling plastics as breakfast food chemically castrating the alpha diabetically with surplus sugars to insulate pancreatic insulin insolence over indulgent […]

spent an hour watching a tiny spider weave a massive web invisible except for errant rays of light streaming from behind the ever present gray blanket a flurry of careful instinctual choreography hypnotizing in the steady chaotic order. lost in the details umable to see the entire work of art incapable of understanding the finer […]

he grew up with just two burning passions; the first being the extravaganza of professional wrestling, and the second a deepseated love for methamphetamines. they called him the leprechaun as a kid because of his perpetual attire in verdant hues until he got old enough to take that first taste of crystal death, then he […]

i get smallfalling inon myself whenthe wordsbecome obstinatelike aself-containedmarsupial. i haveforgottenwhich pouchi am ina writhing tumorin my own fleshseeking solacein puckered scars.

there is a magic in dark depression and dead kennedys too loud alone i don’t know if it is the surf rock grooves or the darkly satire dripping on every off key exclamation third wave ska makes my soul quiver with happiness unable to sit still but jello makes me want to burn the entire […]

the day went by like a helium balloon slowly succumbing to gravity it held the enjoyment of a rock in your shoe there was no sun shining and i would really like a do over or to absently rub your feet as the rest of the world kindly fucks off

the blue cooler sits abandoned a wasted existence left empty no purpose there should be untold memories of sloshing ice and shady grass or white sands the ugly fool sits sorrowfully a wasted existence born empty with no purpose staring out at a blue cooler the same shade as the ice encompassing a stillborn heart […]

i feel like a goddamned punchline to an unfunny rambling narrative of hells and pointless idiocies unnecessary stresses insufficient funds a mental collapse with the addition of a stolen debit card and falling farther behind. i would scream to the heavens but they are fictional as happily ever after and hope.

the city of rotterdam was laid to rubble in less than twenty minutes at the beginning of the second world war it is something i spent way too long researching to be barely used in a novel but i can be obsessed possessed and that’s where i found piet blom rotterdam had always been a […]

my head is too swirly to be of any good today i feel like a werewolf in springtime mid-transformation stricken down by a never setting full moon

fear is not an emotion i usually face depression is an old lover anxiety a constant companion sorrow paints my day but fear can usually be broken down into the unessentials even as this icy panic feels less whatever the fuck normal means and more batten down the hatches. certain doors opened that i am […]

the wind whistles through the cracked pane diesel fumes and distorted sirens growing ever closer the engines rumble vibrating through the agonies in calicified thought as the flames dance along sunbeams there is a hesitancy in the skies a sense of senselessness streaming from the vacant adoration in the unblinking orb.

he is a purist an anarcho-eucharist blatant plagarist stealing all the best ideas from various religious texts left on read lost in the annals of revisionist historically unfounded incidental inaccuracies it doesn’t matter who said it originally deification through disneyfication hand drawn sketches by former nazis of das ubermensch aimed at childlike misdirectionary retractions a […]

there is a tremor shivering along my timid the sound of champagne glasses clinging or the dulcet tones of silver bells sending shimmers through my quicksilver anxieties a horse a cow a herd of slant pupilled goats the smell of fresh hay the snap crack of plastic she beckons me enter wade in the headwaters […]

the tinkle of broken glass falling lazily to the floor the sharp gasp as crimson wells a fat droplet slowly sinking into the threads dying the silk a sultry shade of rusted apathy the crunch of glass beneath bare feet leaving a trail from the scene of one crime down the hallway where new sins […]

running down the nascent flesh of infantile dysfunction lies a tangle of inherited scars passed down over generations that never found fulfillment in the trials of a lifetime built out of emotional entanglements. before the first uncertain steps the chemical imbalances given naturally through unnurturing connections that do not transcend the ignobility in puckered skin […]

there is an internal struggle against external stimuli wrapped around this compulsion screaming in my skull the world itself is wavering the pressure pushing the center of my skull outwards in the too bright want to be summer sun gleaming down angrily magnified by the fog bank hovering over every thought. i can’t hear the […]

light me on fire use the tattered dream clinging to my broken spirit it ignite a nimbus of blue flames like a malformed phoenix rising to leave a greasy smear in the clear skies of your well deserved tomorrows

feeling frayed along my quivering edges pulses of cold voltage attacking bare nerves nervous but in that nagging everything is falling apart nebulous insidiousness a constant whisper fraught with sullen peril. feeling frayed afraid tattered scattered left afloat on choppy waves searching for the shore or a single beam to guide back the map shows […]

there was a certain subterranean secrecy permeating the cold a glistening hope encased in blue ice hints with no substance just the glimmering radiance of the unknown the bells toll sickly echoing in the tower of rotted wood and brick drifting morosely over the small town sleeping the hiss of neon tubes and flutter of […]

someone said it is always darkest before dawn which tells me they have never sat in sunlight and felt even more alone in the waking world than sobbing in bed hoping for a small break in this constant torrent of agonized hells microdamnations pummelling them like a thousand spider bites on every inch of their […]

ravenous butterflies stuck in a hurricane carniverous heartblossoms draped in antiquity the pilot light lies unlit as fumes make the air in the basement hazy the lone light yellowed incandescence with a shoelace hanging limply he murmurs palindromes into the endless night, i long to be draped in fine white linens laid gently in the […]

i wrap razor wire around my own hazel insecurities carve out notches for each demon residing in this vessel of saturated pain amethyst flashes in the midst of another insipid breakdown blinded by dream a regurgitated hellscape of lonely nightmares. nothing more than shards of broken stained glass refrains never beautiful never whole a slick […]

he is a perpetual notion machine of rusted gears. unkempt. undreamt. slowly vanishing into his own insignificant need. dizzy from the constant spinning. looping endlessly never going anywhere. just a smudge on the windshield obscuring the scenic emptiness. the sky is blank above me, a canvas on which to sketch with sunshine the many failings […]

maybe it’s the sun staying out from behind the clouds or possibly it’s the three and a half hours slept having an effect on my usually faulty wiring possibly it is just you bringing beauty into my frame of insular ugliness i don’t know but the words are screaming today as i drive from building […]

sipping lethe in an effort to eradicate these images that dance behind fluttering eyelids seeking short term memory loss in the flood of all the hopeless incidental thoughts that carry the scent of cold winds disturbing the fresh green on the branches shivering in morning sun spring has sprung even as lady winter clings in […]

the thunder rumbled at 7:21 there was nothing significant about that but i looked up saw lightning flash and as the thunder rumbled looked at the time sometimes moments are poetry others are just forgotten lost between stimuli like thunder at 7:21 on a rainy march evening unable to think as this frantic need for […]

is it hyperbolic if my mind only deals in absolutes? depending on which side of the polar which side of the ache, which role i was assigned by the reader’s unbidden fantasy a caricature half drawn. i deal in absolutes because anything between can and will be used against me. i am a mirage no […]

poetry is a gateway to fucking up your life, it seems my story gets more pathetic with every lie put to meter every word carved out of this infinite sadness that is more real than any succor in the bosom of creation zero validation cathartic only in the way the focus shifts to dissect unravel […]

there is a pall that hovers over sundays a sense of my own existence ending put back into cryogenic sleep again relegated to popsicle status for weeks the silence screams in a way the chatter doesn’t empty apartment empty head of hopelessness

the unseen forces intangibles tangling quasars photonic frenzies cosmic dust formedreformedformless existential horrors in infrared ecstasies ultraviolet highlights at the edge of mental stability crested majesties in crystalized redundancies relegated to rust dried crimson stains marring occam’s razor skipping over the incorporeal stubble on the clockface ever tick tocking an avalanche of grains making sand […]

my crazy likes structure repetitive actions for the last five years it has been the same thousand or so songs on my ipod coffee in the morning clockwork poetry writing sessions in empty parking lots routine. the coffee remained canned on this cold friday morn my ipod won’t hold a charge trusted friends became outright […]

the coffee maker died without a sound no gurgling gasp just a flashing light and no percolation. the morning feels too goddamned impossible to comprehend with no sleep a burgeoning clusterbomb resting in a band around my skull and no coffee to greet the sun. as the things i cannot control scream at me of […]

haunted by the ghost of yesterday’s moon pregnant over this valley of discontent unwilling unable to let go as azure winds the sliver strives to maintain vigilance over a waking world where dreamslurry ill tidings threaten to drown the weak diffusion between solar flares white hot passion and promises made under lunar waves of sublime […]

suicide is not a coward’s way out. can you call someone that has had enough and is willing to end their life a coward for doing the last act? or call them selfish? the selfish are the ones that remain and cannot accept the loss. we never know what anyone else is dealing with. and […]

the mute dawn spitefully shines down over dissipating apparitions of lost loves hazy recollections sorrowful spirits still seeking to haunt the broken down temple of cardiac disenchantment. nothing more than a desultory approximation hollowed.hallowed a composite primary lesson in decreation of art in the midst of subtle self desecration. deafened under the mute dawn buried […]

alternating between social distortion and kyuss so i cannot tell if i am broken hearted in need of a fix or driving through the desert with a demon in the passenger seat as hell rains down. either way seems alright as the traffic never slows on the concrete arteries feeding the wasteland around me. maybe […]

feel too ugly to write pretty today. the coffee doesn’t work. my head is stuffed with fire ants. the birds are stuck in a constant three note regression. like me. i woke whispered my love to the aether as the sun slept above a blanket of gray. i am tired of feeling so very much […]

gathering up the remains shattered souldander to fill the forge an iron maiden with white hot spikes to cast a less broken image of ache a stained glass persona splitting the light into a paradoxical prism of colors undreamt in shades of heartthistle as the emotional refuse simmers in molten dissonance my mind lingers on […]

he leans against the building unmindful of the rain scowling at the brown grass as he puffs the cigarette and watches his dog scout for the perfect place to shit we are cordial neighborly i don’t know his name or that of his ankle biting yipping little shit machine but i nod to which he […]

i get overstimulated after a podcast my insides are electrified my brain won’t stop screaming anxiety’s (bi)polar opposite unintended consequences in these semi-suicidal tendencies, running full force into self-destruction it is exhausting saying the things out loud i only have to think typically. besides her i don’t like talking to, well, everyone. i go inside […]

the mockingbird has heard me utter her name in sift benediction that i hear it in the causeway cawing it into the howling winds until all i hear is my heart in my head and her glow rattling around my chest cavity of dessicated organic failures crammed tightly into the silver barred birdcage with the […]

glittering diamonds ebon blanket of velvety darkness i cannot tell if it is infinity screaming profanities at me as i smile like a goddamned idiot unfazed unphased unphrased unpoetic just a steaming pile of word vomit on the side of the road leading absolutely fucking nowhere. so much of my day is spent just lost. […]