dissociating
sounds so(enticing)
can someone
pass me a torch
and possibly
a ladder
to climb out
of my mind
teach me the tricks
of houdini
without
the futility
of trying to
contact the dead
shed these chains
slip free of
this burlap sack
of incidentals
suffocating me
let me(dissociate)
the anxiety
detach from
this sense of
drowning
or floating
in space
and removing
my helmet
i cannot stop
crying
and i cannot
say why
and there is
nothing worse
than not
knowing why.

i tire of
associating
with myself
but it is
where i keep
all my thoughts
of you.

i think
i’ll stay.