a continuing series of ever increasing oddities, part X

the winds screech the banshee wail of impending doom the tempest writhing in cumulus tentacles across the emerald sky a milk crate precariously perched upon an old lawn table with one short leg rattles closed to the edge with subtle shifting plasticmania a new gust batters the teetering table to thrust it skyward the least […]

curled up with a dead poet

there is this feeling as i try and process the latest collection of bukowski poems of heart rending sorrow that one day the ever slimming pile of (un)released poetry will be the last anguish it feels like he typed each on my aorta tangled my consciousness in the simplicity of words flowing in that broken […]

a continuing series of ever increasing oddities, part IX

the cocoon hung fat on the sagging branch a slight wriggling barely perceptible at first then the struggle intensifies the branch bobs under the shifting weight minutes pass a halflifetime trapped in constraint slowly frantically it begins to burst free by nanometers squirming through the lazarus exaltation or (re)birth a brightly colored burst in the […]

a continuing series of ever increasing oddities, part VIII

the sea loving kisses the shore with gentle lips flashes of light far out over the blue gray waves then with a loud sucking sound the water is simply gone fish dance in suffocating motion on the newly revealed sand the lighthouse suddenly land locked in the vanishing tides the light keeper stares out with […]

a continuing series of ever increasing oddities, part VII

thirteen robed figures stand motionless in the mouth of the cave torch flames dance casting shadows to blend with the darkness in the bellowing stone mouth tectonically formed with no rhyme nor reason on the face of the mountain lightning arcs through the ominous black skies at high noon a tome fashioned from stretched human […]

a continuing series of ever increasing oddities, part VI

the bells toll from the musty tower in the center of town the brass behemoths sending a resounding wave of dischordiant warning echoing through the empty streets a small child lays huddled beneath his bed shaking in fear as the alarms clang in a thunderous chorus the congregation gathers in the marble ossuary of accumulated […]

a continuing series of ever increasing oddities, part V

the way the leaves blow across the forest floor in a dazzling display of non-sequitur free dance a bear cub plays in the blowing detritus of summer’s sweet kiss good night a subtle shift in the ground alerts mother bear something is amiss then the land shakes a violent upheaval in the midst of a […]

a continuing series of ever increasing oddities, part III

the sunshine feels oily across the surface retention of the razorblade soul the venom laden fangs of the serpent sink deeply into the vestiges of random insight the scentless stench of brash indifference flickers like gems scattered across the smallpox blankets carelessly given as gifts from nature herself to the bipedal infection slowly killing the […]

a continuing series of ever increasing oddities, part I

she sat on the shell of an extraordinarily large tortoise suspended high above the city the people smaller than ants beneath her proved to be the source of much laughter she daydreamed of the simple lives of those so blissfully ignorant to her plight above the tortoise cared little for the world below and less […]

awake

he didn’t bound out of bed exuberant with the sounding alarm soothed by the chorus of birds trilling the glory of the morning sun ready to face the new day he rolled painfully to the edge of the matress let himself drop to the floor with gravity doing the bulk of the heavy lifting scowling […]

overcast city

the city is overcast it smells like wet dog and burning rubber as the meth addicts walk along the small strips between the buildings searching for something in the brown grass the man shakes screams into the quiet morning with something just left of mindless rage as he kicks tufts of dead sod into the […]

loneliness in the swarm of flesh

i was sitting on the bench the same bench i always find myself sitting on when the sleep won’t come but the tired lays across my lap like a fuzzy blanket there was a star twinkling above that seems to pulse and blink along with the pieces of coherence that sifted through the collander of […]

coming home

the lines of filth run down the inside of the glass to pool on the threadbare carpet in viscous sodden rorschach images of corose beetles eating the flesh clean off the skeleton of hope left discarded with the rest of the good feelings thjs vacuum sealed planet of piss poor expectations launched into the void […]

validation

every smile validates the cold frost that dapples the windows leading to the soulbarren desert of just desserts from whence the tawdry expectation of inexplicable palpation seeks home in biting whorls of detrimental defiance the time clock validates the grand entrance into the vestibules of night

leap day for the nude traveler seeking home

like a ken doll melting in the sun he sat waiting for his flight back to texas poignantly staring at the pacific ocean pointedly ignoring the laughter he ventures into the sky the lone nude traveler waits. the statistic revile leads to an extra day the basic human need to force the universe into the […]

sleepless

she said to me you’re gonna regret this in the morning i kept my mouth shut as i was already regretting it at that exact moment but it didn’t really matter as i am an insomniac so morning never quite comes she asked me causally how do you sleep at night knowing all of the […]

stories

he sees stories in every new vista yet only has so much time to scribble them it doesn’t matter though as no one seems to ever read the things he spills across the page yet on he writes imagining he is leaving a legacy to be found one day long after he has died

there are things

there are things that i wish i remember but i couldn’t say exactly what i will just have to settle for the smell of flowers that occasionally taunts my shredded mind it could be worse sometimes things are forgotten sometimes they claw your brain i will take the subtle hints over the vacuous spaces that […]

between life and thought

the wind howls down through the empty streets whipping up the trash of another failed attempt at civilized domination gone the way of the dinosaurs into the land of tar soaked bones lost to the annals of history a lone silhouette stands in the tower at the center of the fallen bricks that once made […]

dusk

she stared at herself in the mirror not recognizing the lined face that looked back dusk had fallen over her afternoon beauty leaving shadows playing where smooth perfection had once ruled it had been so easy a smile opened doors a shake of the hips dropped jaws to the floor a general change pulled the […]

bones

she was made of calcified dream left to rot beneath the soggy mud of hope unfulfilled a skeleton of whimsical desires stripped bare with organs of failed potential slowly reverting back to the basic elemental dysfunction the chaos will strangled by the roots of hypertension rotting in the spatial insecurities of lazy misanthropic reality her […]

here we are again

almost made it the whole day without more of my intimate whining in shaky metaphor ignored the words in a petulant attempt to prove my superiority yet here we sit in a bare bones diatribe against the goddamned never ending hollow ache that is more a part of me while my mind is more apart […]

pull

one strand of gossamer spider web gently hovering over the sidewalk a shimmering thread dancing on the wind the only thing missing was a rusted hook to draw me in the spectacle of a lure glinting to pull me down down down beneath the placid surface of the sea

inward

there are days where the need to crawl deeper inward to force the entirety of my wayward third eye to ignore the world of rabid regurgitation is the only emotion to pierce the veil of my insipid ignorance today is one of those the only comforting thought is to lock myself in the bare comfort […]

self (aware)

sometimes i feel self awareness so intimately like sandpaper across bare skin but with the small in scope veneer of the velveteen depression that seeps over everything an ashen maple syrup that leaves everything wanting so the irony of my profession being fixing things as a semi-autonomous flesh bag filled with the shattered stained glass […]

17

it has been seventeen years since you left sixteen birthdays with the candles left unextinguished the world has never been the same frankly neither have i they say it gets easier but so far the closer your birthday gets the worse i feel the sense of missing you just grows more fierce i love you […]

drizzle

i like chilly rainy nights for some reason the words like to play on the falling drops there is a song if you listen closely between the inevitable spatters a symphony with impossible notes nestled within a place of comfort sanctuary in the sullen drizzle a place for monsters to dance between the drops.

(en)visions

i have never been big on possessions except the demonic type they enter my willing vessel as i toss and turn through the night bereft of peace left to the insidious thoughts the ceaseless pain the loneliness of a queen mattress with only a fool to occupy the expanses of wasted time so the brimstone […]

lost and fondled

the bleak feeling has made me retreat so far that i have turned inside out internalized so fiercely that the internal organs have extroverted to relieve themselves from the pressure my heart compressed to diamond as the seething need to belong makes ownership another tricky gambit in the lost and fondled my daily attire the […]

sailed

it’s raining yet the sun still tries to shine through the scattered gray skies the aches that pulsate through the vessel are nothing new reminders of the fragility inherent three more hours sleep would more than likely make things better but that ship has long since sailed

sifting

sifting through the remnants of the day in search of that last silver nugget of hope in the ashes of yesterday

driftwood daydream on the river styx

i am lost in this hellish mindscape of conflicting demotion, inflicted commotion, reflected exclusion, dejected reclusion. i am none of the things i need. all of the things despicable. locked in step with the headsman. watching the light glint off the wicked curve of the blade as the crowd throws rotten effigies of the man […]

last bullet

The leaves were the color of a freshly newborn child, that purplish red of a soon to be bruise. The sunlight filtered down and dappled the ground. A slight breeze tried to blow from the north but sputtered before really doing much. And I sat with my back against the tree, wondering how it all […]

yokai (a poem in (un)poetic)

she wore an ankle length kimono as she walked barefoot through the lush grass of her yard, porcelain beauty in lunar rays broken by cloud the silky robe is adorned with a phoenix bursting forth from ash into a cherry blossom colored sky, pinks and reds like a watercolor trailing her steps her movements were […]

mirror lenses

the feeling persists the lack of belief in self existence pupils become mirrors to reflect what we wish to see in front of us projected into us we seek in others what we wish grew wild within then reject the briars in a flux of insular need wrapped in weeds until all is strangled left […]

saint

the saint known only as V was a cruel conniving bastard he would lure lost souls into his home with the promise of sweet confections flowers chocolates bits of poetry were weapons in his hands he used them to fulfill his twisted desires his lackey the fat cherub would unleash with his bow upon the […]

flooded

the roads are flooded across the city as the cold rains fall he is headed to the cemetery there are a million other places he would rather be not least back in bed pretending none of this exists yet he drives through muddy rivers that were dry yesterday headed to a cemetery wondering if the […]

Mid-February update

Hello dear readers The Manic Word Depot has been quieter than normal as the Lead Maniac is writing like mad. I tend to casually write whatever I feel like, bouncing between stories until one sticks if there are no deadlines to meet. I find I like a good deadline to keep me focused. It doesn’t […]

wherever and now

the transient effect of random incoherence is the same as falling through the shadows to find the closest point between wherever and now a reiterance of irrelevance left to stew in the bog of rendered fats regurgitated organ failures and reticent reminders

lightning(razor kiss)

i was standing in a thunderstorm, watching the lightning play across the sky, the purple after images burned into my retinas rain running down my head and into my eyes, the crash of thunder palpable, my heart racing with every flash of voltage the smell of ozone burning mixed with that fresh rain scent, masking […]

sprung in falsehood

the birds have reawoken from the winter blast that reset the world into a frozen representation of non-essential steps to rationalizing the insipid in the insufferable sufferings they sing outside with the milquetoast blatherings of feathered insanity trilling the turgid death chants of former thunder lizard glories a keening on the blooming verdancy of vapid […]

vertigo go blues

i found myself falling it was inexplicable but there i was the wind screaming in my ears eyes watering arms akimbo falling through the rapidly darkening skies towards a land that was unfamiliar i couldn’t say how i got there not through the screams at least i am not confidant this is a dream as […]

raccoons

i would like to live in a world where raccoons are the gangsters they look like they should be i don’t care if emus remain screw them

importan’t

some days she would rest her head on the flat pillow staring at the ceiling for a sign that whatever this is is something more than what it appears to be most days ended much the same much the shame for a rapidly deteriorating self image but every once in a while she could drag […]

music

she tied the cords around my throat played my vocal chords like a violinist in the first chair of the orchestra of the damned sending my own words reverberating through the desolate emptiness of my personal concert hall playing my fears and passions like an auteur leaving nothing but blood flecked lips curled into a […]

fisticuffs

it isn’t that he wanted to fight but the thought of exchanging fisticuffs made the doldrums of the day seem less inconsequential in some mesmerising way so he spat blood with fragments of tooth onto the rain slicked sidewalk with a wary smile that showed somewhat a physical manifestation of the inner agony was a […]

artfully

i don’t wish death upon anyone i visualize it with painstaking care then i pour it into words across the paper how the blood beads up in the initial slice the affect heightened blood pressure has the gentle arc of arterial spray no i would never wish death upon someone but I will revel in […]

cynical

the air is cynically sublime in the way it sucks the will to live from gasping lungs the sky is petulant in shades of gray the lazy rays of light marionette strings on an uncaring land the carcass of hope has been hollowed out to fit a family of five comfortably in the filthy residue […]

soft

it isn’t growing soft as the years continue the tally the odometer reaches towards the upper limits of spatial awareness when i was a kid i got a bicycle and we put a thousand miles on it over the stretch of one summer filled with reckless abandon now as i get old and the distance […]

memory of loss

the salt of the ocean is the only memory i still have not the waves nor the shore just the salt as it crusted upon the rocks all the important memories have gone to still frames of black and white while i lose myself in the gray falling farther from the colors losing vibrancy in […]

eight letters

Tomorrow is eight letters that reek of impending doom. The air is ripe with fuckery. The apocalypse looms between the bulbous eyes of the pockmarked squirrel attending the closing act of the syphilitic going out of business sale at the whorehouse of invalid bears. The apple is ripe with maggots swimming in the pulpy brown […]

titular denials

she was a nocturnal transmission to my satellite cortex just another dash of white noise to pollute the airwaves of the missed connection in my hypothalamus my antenna snapped low to the frontal lobe leaves much to be said for my reception this defective detective that smokes a pipe in my general malaise there were […]

ashen tongue

she wore concrete stilletos a razor wire brassiere the thin line of her thong a fuse my gaze set aflame as she strutted across the room with heavy steps dripping lust hungry eyes follow the trail of ash as it traces along the curves of her gorgeous frame knowing the gray will soon be all […]

most likely

two weeks ago we hit critical need for laundry and groceries as a true pro i was able to manage with a three dollar load of work essentials allowing for post shower nude lounging to balance it out i could easily blame it on not having the cash but i had put ten bucks in […]

random squelches II

I spent the night at a cemetery last night. It was cold and the wind was whipping up dead leaves into mini-tornadoes all around me. I found it hard to complain though, I was here by choice, while the bulk of the other occupants were not given one. Here, I could sit on the hard […]

random squelches

Josef knew 3 things. Unicorns told the dirtiest jokes. Elves were all sorts of stupid. And satyrs were always thinking of sex. That was why he was so surprised to find himself demonstrating the punchline to the unicorn’s joke to the satyr using the elf as a prop. Hindsight would show this to be a […]

half in and out

the traffic is at a standstill like rows of angry crabs waiting re-entry into the ocean big claws snapping while the little claw taps the asphalt chittering back and forth as they face perpendicular to the highway a terrapin convention to the north as they crawl upon the high-rise ramps like the world’s worst rollercoaster […]

same no matter the floor

no matter how many stories into the sky the elevator takes you or marble floors granite counters gold embossed toilets there will still be a stagnant fetid puddle of piss on the floor to navigate no matter how many millions of dollars that are made in the adjoining offices someone is wrecking the restroom the […]

remora

have you ever had to choose between medicine and food then realize you cannot afford either in a civilized age filled with supposedly civilized people on a somewhat civilized planet the poverty rate is in an inverse proportion to the to the ones that control the bulk of the wealth but that is just how […]

hellspike

some days there are no words to explain the constant state of panic that colors the world a hellspike driven deeply into the sternum keeps the light of anything resembling joy at bay

survivor

there is no greater beauty than in the eyes of utmost tragedy the shattering lends prismatic interpretation of insular pain that is why holding tightly to the broken tends to cut both standing in the eye of the maelstrom as shards of awareness spin at the pinnacle of rock bottom lies a harsh truth unpossible […]

corpse(flower)

she was a corpse flower with tendrils that swept across the everdusk of my wilted sorrow the sticky pollen coated everything in the open air market of this strange secondhand soul she never feared burning down the haphazardly stacked tinder bundles of hopeful adoration now the world is covered in ash as the sickly sweet […]

lost in spaces

it was less dine and dash then done and dense the dangling particular of participles and pageantry deny the peevish the peckish dinner of pasteurized dentata i egress i regress i degress into a spot of trouble trailing turbulent times as gestation receeds the tumultuous trials of triangular longing leaving trembling tumors to trespass the […]

incidental contact

the world is a string of ones and zeros laid out in seemingly random disarray across the optical dismay of another synthetic symbiosis synthesize intuition from the chemical dump left in brain pan of flickering lights flashing synapses reiterate the alignment of this false sense of reality into a cypher of semi-autonomous hive minded reflections […]

amnesiac wonder

the office is a regurgitation of seventies motif with avocado greens burnt orange and dark chocolate brown the walls have a strange cube pattern it feels as if i have fallen into the overlook hotel in the middle of texas outside the window the blustery dallas skyline looks angry with dark gray clouds threatening to […]

krakatoan scar

i get a little moribund when the air is cold and the rain won’t stop fucking falling i get a little antisocial when the words choke me yet all i do is stare at the blank screen there’s this krakatoan scar across the insides of my eyelids like an afterimage of her smile you can […]

drowning on solid ground

the world seems so confusing when the fog hangs heavy over the once clear vistas yet still the maps lead us towards our destinations as if there is nothing to fear hidden around us so still i drive down once familiar roads towards a place i would rather not travel to working towards an end […]

rat dreams

the thunder rattles the calcified bits of dead dream in the long silent solace of who i once was the rains pummel the windows of the squalor while reality rolls in the collected trash of another failed attempt at life beyond the daily allotment of means dribbled across the failings of my icarus like fanciful […]

another etching

another etching on the long litany of woes that seems to surround the wilderness of unbidden thoughts railing against the bitter winds of yesterday blowing down the open collar to caress the nape of another noose bedazzled neck

reactionary war

they strode across the snowy fields a line across the horizon rifles over shoulders feet in step with the drummer’s staccato pace the reactionary war to perceived slights bringing out the warriors from behind their fiercely tapping keyboards the steady call to not shoot until they see the whites of their lies defending the indefensible […]

cobbled

the shallow mimicry screams at me as the words fall from mute lips to be showered upon deaf ears again i search my skin for an impossible to pronounce swedish sounding glob of consonants and umlauted vowels some assembly required product was assuredly damaged in shipping no returns not liable for pedantic poems another case […]

dinosaurs for gold

another dreary day in the back half of a city covered in grime the boarded up windows of strip clubs adult shops and small stores that once accumulated dreams gone to out of business signs he sits in front of the pump as a line of cars forms behind him yet he pays no heed […]

lines of fire

i feel the lick of the lashes as the inexplicable whips of rancid understanding leave lines of bloody reminders down the length of my ability to verbalize this nauseating truth the blissful ignorance of a life left painless long since discarded with childhood fantasies in the ditch of stagnant refusals it is a form of […]

tickles

i have looked everywhere for the thing i have misplaced for the thing i have forgotten for the thing that tickles the back of my foggy mind on a chill winter day in the middle of another mental break in the same lost anthem of hope in the midst of betrayal it isn’t anywhere even […]

safer

it isn’t like i am an amnesiac it’s just that i have shredded every memory so the burden of guilt is just another dumpster fire in the distance it isn’t like i am a human being it’s more like i am a human who is being inert like one of the noble gases but without […]

destinations

we weren’t two adjoining puzzle pieces nor her the itch while my pensive hands scratched furiously we weren’t the sun and moon we just were like two ancillary stars just out of frame pulsing quasars that tapped a singular message of maybe not forever but how about for now there was a subtle beauty to […]

venomous

her smile curled around the ventricular gasp of a fading heart coiled tightly her petulant gaze injects the sweetest venom articulating the arterial silence within

misfortune

it spilled across the rain slicked sidewalk in a puddle of the deepest crimson a waterfall of ruby with pink foam as it sprayed serenely in great arcs into the misty overcast morning in the center of nowhere population everyone all he could do is stare dumbfoundedly at the white plastic cap in his hand […]

failures

they say you never really fail if you tried your best but tell that to my bank account as it goes overdrawn again it is hard not to lose faith in your ability when all you’re able to do is beg for scraps which is no ability at all

placid sway

there was a way an ethereal sway to the hidden currents making her hair dance as i stared in horror at her broken form just beneath the placid surface she appeared as if under glass poorly formed by an arthritic glass blower at the end of another long day with sore hips and back i […]

a testament to the power of positive doubt

she wears the tiara of muse as if the sun doesn’t glint from the jewel encrusted band to blind her as she strides across the landscape of my mind with gentle steps to crush all meaning from my lack of understanding yet each time she gazes at my wonder she only sees the gears spinning […]

teatime dissonance

the candle burns down the rivulets of wax long since spilled over the brass holder as tendrils of manic dream to slowly encroach upon the blank vellum where the quill sits untouched for the last hour a fevered thought races from all angles of diseased angels falling like dying stars to crash into the dry […]

bitter

if you are raised with spicy foods you build a natural tolerance to the heat this explains my drinking coffee black as the bitter tang of disappointment has rendered my tongue numb in the battered tapestry of my soul large sections have been bleached white with only the afterimage of dream in the fine threads […]

five before

the kettle whistles as his body lays cooling in a pool of piss on the kitchen tile the horn blares as the bass thumps as she angrily drums her fingers on the steering wheel five minutes before five minutes before the world was ripe with promise five minutes before just five minutes before down it […]

an anthem

there are these little gnats flying around my place, every where i look i see them at least i think i do, sometimes i sit here and wonder if they are little wisps of dying dreams struggling to catch my eye and remind me there is more to… this i set out cups of vinegar […]

raised by the city

i know the streets of my city like the back of my mother’s hand the details are fuzzy until it strikes me across the face i sit in the parking lot tasting blood before spitting a tooth onto the dirty asphalt i know the skyline out the highrise windows like gazing into my father’s eyes […]

lessons harshly learned

every lie you laid like a hen in the roost that you sat on nurtured let hatch knowing the damage they would do but taking great pleasure in the chaos you willingly have sown one day they will come back to you like the million daggers cast into those that have trusted none shall gather […]

rains

it hasn’t stopped raining yet today as i lay here in the dark wishing you were curled up beside me the rain lulls a sense of calm even as the torrential fallings woke me from fever induced dream yet as i reach in the dark to my left nothing greets me beside the crater like […]

how to speak

when you left i forgot how to speak, my tongue grew heavy in my mouth, a slab of raw liver, awkwardly flapping up and down but the noises that came out were little more than moans and groans i lost the ability to conjugate, to articulate, to conversate, to concentrate on anything but was that […]

a nap

drowning on dry land lungs filled with fluid thick and viscous suffocating every breath that wheezes it’s way in or out it is bound to get better or not a nap that might do the trick

light in hopeless spiral

as i lay in fever soaked nightmare her smile calls forth through the night the sickness claws upon my chest wheezing wet coughs fill the dark room around me she casts down her halo of light to offer relief in the sullen suffering no matter how bad it may be she is the hope in […]

shed

as i shed this skin like a diseased pauper loosing my spoiled meal into the gutter of indignant spite the wretched clouds that mask the cerulean skies cast naught but bitter spittle down to smear the rot of this incomprehensible failing across the cobblestone streets that spiral leading deeper into the nowhere of lost ambition […]

gaps

she was walking down the road alone a backpack over a shoulder tears in her eyes i saw her approached cautiously she had the look of a deer in the woods that heard a branch snap escape written in her bright blue eyes as she stared at me we made small talk for a moment […]

choking

in the brine of resolute redaction the sole soul of solitary dissonance finds purpose behind the bitter sighs of retracted heartspun shade there are billions of words yet not one that can describe in totality the encroaching madness of choking down the sobs of loss and need with any certainty the bitterness tastes sweet as […]