every cell screams for sleep except my neurons which thrive on anxiety and exhaustion little sleep hours on the road physical exertion all the ingredients for a night’s rest spoiled by a brain that insists on picking apart each atom of dismay leaving a cat’s cradle of depression tangled around my brain inhibiting my abilty […]

i can be oblivious while the ants in my brain collect all the scraps i seem to have missed a long drive in the middle of nowhere watching as the hawks circle the brown fields lets the kernels bloom in the forefront of my gelatinous goo clarifying all the hints into aching truth someone once […]

try as you may yoy will never be able to forget the taste of my lips the feel of my fingers or my masterful tongue you will forever ne haunted by what you that slip away knowing every kiss belongs to her now that all the things you loved about me belong to someone else […]

can you feel my phantom heart as it resonates with yours through the long sleepless nights where i send my love across the ceiling pulsating with the twinkling stars to illuminate the skies can you hear my adulations of pure adoration the flutter of my phantom heart that beats just for you as the miles […]

the words are there just within reach but a tenebrae of sweet sadness keeps them elusively aloof a fast week where i managed to actually form a corporeal form and frolic as if i were a real boy for once no crushing silences or undue anxieties just a peaceful pace existing in time with the […]

i can see my breath hanging heavy with sighs and apologies vapor filled with warmth from my steam powered heart steadily pumping brackish sludge through failing organs breathing out these accumulated cumulus a tempest rising in frozen effigy icicles jutting from tear streaming eyes stalactites grown in statistical anomalies to pierce deep with every forlorn […]

i whisper my thoughts soft, under my breath let them swirl briefly before catching them in a small glass jar with holes punched in the lid to let them breathe as i slowly suffocate from all of the things i am lacking rows of jars filled to overflowing with all of the things no one […]

i woke up fractured the spiderwebbed surface of a frozen lake each tentative new thought breaking me into smaller stabbing shards floating over frigid depths an abyssal polar plunge into degenerative doom spirals as the wind chimes clang endlessly signalling a new ignoble ending a firefly orgy winking out one by one a steady strobe […]

it must be just as terrible having everything as it is when you have nothing exchanging need for the torture of finding reasons to keep going the same way retirement leads to falling apart we need to need to have routine a purpose to fight off the entropy a perpetual motion machine sitting idle is […]

a pervading sense of compression a lack of space between angry molecules an atomic bombardment a chain reaction confined within a bird bone prison a haunting melody of hammers crashing into a xylophonic cage of atrophied ribs mistimed notes hovering in a registry of anxietal moaning triggering fight of flight fancies to dampen every crotch […]

nothing seems to be any different the birds singing the same simple songs as the sun hides behind fluffy gray the trees still bare tufts of brown grass poke from barren soil the truck still sat idling outside my bedroom window just long enough to ensure sleep was a dead thing fecundate with sores from […]

he told himself even a cactus will die left out in the gravel and he felt it deep in his bones tweren’t no rains acoming anytime soon another quiet night as he contemplates one year sliding its way into the loose fitting corpse of the last shitty one he would make changes stop giving more […]

i lay quietly in the bow of the gently rocking ship watching as the flaming arrow soars toward me the cleansing fire racing to consume me whole until all i was now a soot stain on the rippling reflection of the sallow moon

i lay awake on the parchment thin skin of the dying year listening to the final liquid filled wheeze before the echoing heartbeat pumps its last red marked pages of another calendar goals unaccomplished dreams left unfulfilled laying in the landfill to slowly fade away into another rigid man made construct showing how little control […]

the strip mined corpse of our planet wobbling in the last gasps of sustainability we turn our gaze on fresh planets to plunder and kill seeking modern solutions in gluttonous disdain humanity produces a single commodity death a thriving pestilence on a perfectly good pebble hurtling into our own insignificant radioactive disambiguation there had to […]

mercurial shivers in shades of intense longing pulsating along spinal delirium an open blossom spreading pollen to inflame passions frozen kisses lighting bonfires of desire tracing the curvature of your precious heart the birds are filled with madness a cacophony of off key notes pervading the quiet of a newborn day trilling winter’s song in […]

suffering through technical difficulties spasmodically frustrated in inconceivable dismay tethered by these faulty mechanisms lost in the static of ones and zeros drifting into infinity our entire existences uploaded to a cloud on the verge of sudden inconsolable sadness

atrophied dreamwhispers hover heavily in a gazebo of unreciprocated declarations smothering candles lit to guide the wayward spirits home again a million golden pinpricks a field full of fireflies caught unaware by the frost the dim glow suffocated under winter’s kiss of adoration in icy relapse

the dark clouds cast a nuclear pall in a ruddy malaise over a half dead city settled in for the last torrential hell in the final breath of a euthanized year irradiated rain threatens to pit the concrete leaving smoldering pools etching sorrows into the asphalt arteries trodden by the partially animated corpses of indentured […]

he feels everything but he has bathed himself in the cold waters of detachment so even as he is pained he shrugs it off and keeps on keeping on he mutters to himself how he just doesn’t care aware enough he is lying but also just gullible enough to cling to it hoping one day […]

i pluck these splinters from my stillbeating trove of heartmurmurs to form a latticework of icy disinterest between my mind and an existence of secondary splendor the delicate weave pulsates in phantasmal shudders tickling agonies in desolate wonder as i paint remembrance in sultry shades of apathetic passionfuries

you were given every opportunity to apologize for your repugnant actions yet you insisted on making excuses passing the blame you inherited alone so as your world crumbles around you and you seek someone to put the fault upon find a mirror and stare deeply into the face that caused all the misery you leave […]

each step upon the frozen river fills the valley with thunderously echoed splintering as the ice spirals the surface littered with icy waves and unanswered prayers glinting in the sunlight filtered through gray despair the current never rests a promise of darkness among the drowned dreamers wailing in calcified refrains reaching upwards to strangle meaning […]

i am prone to falling into my own loops dredging pains to satisfy my oblong orbit i mine away at the cave walls seeking a vein of precious agonies to harvest as i rewire faulty neural pathways but once rewritten the new programming lets me slough the old ruination a new version of the same […]

i happily let you pull the blade along my flesh enjoying the way the blood wells up as you carve your initials through muscle unconcerned with hollow bones or dessicated organs as you complete a masterpiece in pain across my shivering body the burn marks left upon the mattress my lasting contribution to the world […]

now is the proper timing to turn tidings of earnest resolutions into ardent revolutions to clutch handfuls of malleable clay to fire new vestibules to hold dreamember bonfires no more candlelight vigils to virtues but a wildfire of ashen hope raining down to smother the depressionary gasps to choke the brambles entangling nascent desire we […]

there is an irrelevance in the air a snowglobe stuck in texas a pristine winter image in eighty degrees of lamentation as the fog rolls across concrete hiding facts behind illusion a faulty facade of filthy buildings nestled in cotton the city shakes in the curious grip of a child sending plastic flakes to fall […]

i find myself obsessed with finding the perfect balance making poetry just with food the chemistry pulling the perfect flavors forth sweetbittersaltspice umami weaving the disparate scents and tastes to dance over the tongue with the grace of a half drunk ballerina in another life i would have run away to paris to study among […]

i hope you get everything you could ever possibly want your every dream is made real and laid down at your feet each morning is filled with soft birdsong and gentle sunshine that your smile never falters that your heart is always full and i will be here quietly cheering your every win loving you […]

i see the cracks in the diving bell as pressure builds i know the shimmering light is too far above while the darkness is too close at hand yet still i walk along the ocean floor a curiosity for the different fish prancing merrily from calamity to an overabundance of catastrophes

five minutes into last minute shoppingand i was almost inthree accidents aspeople ran stop signsin their desperationto finish their lists i didn’t even parkjust made a bee lineback to the roadand went back homewhere i can safelydisappear fromeveryone’s mind again so driven to satisfyi can not tell the differencebetween my waving helloand the hushed voiceswhispering […]

i think i managed to burn off the anxiety that kept me from finding peace throughout failed attempts at sleeping deep enough to avoid dream pacing back and forth hovering on the precipice of panicked necessity howling into the abyss a wounded wolf torn between domestication and chasing the moon limply softy while lancing painshivers […]

the feral fool finds solace in the hole he dug for himself in the loose soil happily pulling the dirt to bury his absentee soul until winter ends contentedly packed into darkness he shall bleed his sorrows deep into the seeds to give rise to a garden of agony in subdued hues when spring thaws […]

today is transparent in apathetic demise filled with angry faces over happy slogans embroidered by small hands in a cramped factory balancing work with manufactured holiday joy these slurries pollute the swollen rivers where filth washes against the median leaving skid marks on the melancholia pervading the light antlered trucks with flashing lights belch toxic […]

wise people say everyday gets brighter after the solstice for half the year they are correct in their bubbling false optimisms it feels as if sunlight is finite no matter how close to the sun we are that being kept lost in the dark is the human experience the length of a day or the […]

i slip into apathy easily a soft robe on naked flesh where anxieties slip into a dull hum of static at the edge of insipid thought a soothing sense of nothing mattering shutting down turning off riding off on the last white line as the electrons happily disperse there is danger in being numb that’s […]

as the year twitches out the last bit of venom still coursing through collapsing veins the spirits of my suicidal friends gather around me to teach me important lessons about finding the meaning of the holidays through hot tears and aching loss the longer humanity is locked down the higher the number of those incapable […]

semiconscious of the bumper cars bouncing off of one another showering plastic and sparks off the concrete median while i thread between cars at too fast consumed by the words singing serenely into the dappled gray logistically speaking i should be dead crushed beneath the trailer of the semi taking out cars in a seemingly […]

i am constantly amazed at how willfully ignorant humanity acts to further whichever insanity they choose to believe i have no issue with the belief in fact i find it beautiful having a deep seated love for mythology i see the intrinsic value in the road map of being a better person seeking to explain […]

today we find ourselves at the farthest point from the swirling ball of fiery death tilted away into the longest darkest night of the dying year when winter’s court takes possession of a hemisphere snuffing out the light as the ebon tide kisses the earth with cerulean lips i long for a coven to make […]

i don’t need to feel special i just need to prove myself wrong a slow drip ripples across onyx placidity on cold evenings like this i curl up into a ball and sob for the things i am thankful for yet cannot convince myself i deserve i never stop bleeding can you imagine always covered […]

can you hear the static? pulsing beneath the planes overhead the cars racing home the dog yipping the birds singing the wind blowing the static hums with a heaviness that wears away the mind can you hear the static? vibrating your skull confounding your senses shattering tranquility a restless condemnation a sultry disillusion the silent […]

my soul cries december full of promise yet left with only unfulfilled longing my soul weeps winter only gazed upon lovingly from a distance insulated from hoarfrosted laments my tears form icicles hanging dangerously from hazel emptiness slicing deeply to bone as my heart screams spring yet no growth pushes up through the thick tundra […]

there is not much work put into making underground parking aesthetically pleasing to the eye red lines with silver sprinklers set next to yellowish lights odd green shadows follow each ninety degree blind turn clusters of automobiles like mushrooms growing in the dank confines of this subterranean concrete hellscape there is not much effort put […]

i see your smile hovering over the placid water i cannot tell which is the reflection i race forward hoping for a taste uncaring if i drown in this heavenly pursuit

i get miserable constipated with the words when they refuse to unlodge from the back of my bloody throat whether or not i ever make anything from writing it is what i was forged in the crucible of life to do so please forgive me if i have grown overly encumbered by miseries and silence […]

you starve to death on both scraps and best intentions the former lingers while the latter does nothing at all i cannot tell the difference between bird shit streaks and cave paintings graffiti from the finest painters works an incessant hunger keeps cramping muscles flush with lactic angst showering painembers to bloom on the tender […]

the sky is impregnated by aerial mycelium fluffy clouds connected through a simple network conveying a sense of pervasive neuralgic demise while my heart is forgotten truffle buried in rot beneath the roots scrabbling for nutrients in the depleted soil of onyx dreamshards and irradiated joy we stuntedly grow alone yet symbiotic in a fluid […]

hot tears well in the corners of my cold dead eyes the light from the indifferent sun remains hidden as i blink away blurry fractals sitting on an iceberg watching while stability returns to a more mercurial status i have cut back on my coffee intake eschewing the need to vibrate at the speed of […]

i sketch my every ounce of love but these childlike pictures never capture the truth there is a missing connection between my intent and my lack of ability of a love distorted by the static humming in misworded thoughts every day is filled with eraser shavings and graphite stained shaking hands gnarled fingers grip too […]

i read the headlines of the newspaper as it blows past me in the howling gales black and white small print proclaiming the end of times as the polar winds shift and collide a silver diffusion through a smothering of pale gray nothing lends an air of sovereign abandonment to the morning swill manic damnations […]

she was talking about something i could tell by the way her lips were moving but i was staring at her eyelashes as they twitched with odd jerking motions a corona of thick clusters of jittery cockroach legs as if her eyes were the carapace of an overturned bug wedged in empty sockets i wondered […]

the traffic is heavy a sea of clots sitting stagnant in a clogged artery leading to a vertiginous sense of uncertainty in the haze of carbon monoxide slowing choking the city i watch as the gray erodes away the gentle blue

there is an expectation i can make the machine defy physics even as i prove through trial the impossibility of which they demand using poor materials warped and unyeilding and expecting a sudden pliability in defiance of coventional truths often enough the issue is in my explanations being off of center to the narrative they […]

all the other wispy spirits know you get exactly what you get yet they watch as you flail about hoping for more then they snatch at the crumbs you have lamented leaving you with the nothingness your rightly deserve it is human nature to want it all but it is the nature of the cold […]

sleep is a fickle mistress and i at my best am an anxious soul this time of year causes my stern to take on more brackish water than the pumps can hope to displace as i pick and choose responsibilities so i hyper fixate on small wishes rubbing them together looking for a spark seven […]

my mind is a scapel in the untrained hands of an amatuer neurosurgeon it cuts sharply to the truth of matters exposing the things i am not quite prepared enough mentally to handle the reality is plainly laid out in front of me clear as day so i see the entirety of the big picture […]

i start with an idea growing consumed with the story as it grows so wrapped up in the miniutae i lose track of how it evolves what was started is lost in the amalgamation of intent to written word until it becomes unrecognisable to the original i cannot tell larger then life only able to […]

the lenticular hovering between disillusion and eager acceptance slipped a degree now the molten landscape of disapproving glances is rotund with seasoned beatings treasonous gleamings as we lose the true reason for the most glorious of all the seasons

languishing inthis festivelydepressive hazelaying on the floormaking angels inthe ashes of dreamfashioning noosesout of tinselto hang myselfabove the chimneywith a flourish ofholiday indifferencefrom fool to amalformed pinatafilled with theeffervescent sorrrowsbeaten daily byan iron rod ofunfulfilled desiresan advent calendarwhere each new dooropens unto a spectacleof miserable affirmation it’s beginning to looka lot like a breakdown

the dishwasher sounds the same as when the quiet becomes too heavy and my thoughts swish about without rhyme nor reason agitating the filth clinging to my mind leaving a bleached skull staring up at an indifferent darkened ceiling where sleep is a tall tale told in whispered voices so as not to disturb the […]

dissociated ina terrariumas outside wasdraped in illusionthe leafless treesand sallow fieldsbeneath gray cloudstook me back homeuntil i steppedout into the dayof warm weatherand constant windsa delusion blanketedin wintry pastichefeeling like springin contradiction tothe candy canesand tinsel on thewrought iron gates small towns on thewrong side of prosperousan empty retirement homewith all of the windowsshattered leaving […]

i find a strange catharsis shedding pieces of myself to litter the land as i speed along to quickly threading my way between the semis and slow moving half asleep drivers i can lose myself in the road hypnosis put my anxiety to sleep and when it wakes and i smapy fingers it feels almost […]

one hundred and fifty miles languishing in the silent west, a forgotten fool with an overload of words yet no willing ear to hear them, sputtering along between the backbeats, drowned out by the heaviness of exhaustion vibrating alone as the sun sleeps behind me racing the night wondering which will break first me or […]

i had planned on an early start but three o’clock was earlier than originally desired there is a riptide of anxieties percolating beneath the heavy quiet when the world outside happily snores where dreams carry an air of authenticity before the sunlight dissipates all hope definitions become more fluid in nature as importance shifts to […]

i wish i could collect all the words that tumble soundlessly from my idiot mouth a bucket filled with all of the unreciprocated thoughts not quite poetic enough in brutal honesties to pass off as artful a sketchbook of scabs highlighting how truly repugnant the fool is without his talented tongue layering metaphors to spackle […]

four hundred miles to drive tomorrow whispering poetry i cannot transcribe to the hawks circling high above a hermit carefully wrapped in the vestiges of silence hurtling across texas at a hundred miles per hour racing to get back to the nothing that always patiently awaits him at home dreading both the leaving and the […]

the birds sound frantic repeating the same notes in a succession of shrill cries or maybe it is just me maybe it has been so long since i heard my own voice i fail to recognize i have been shouting the same cries for help until it became background noise crisscrossing my way through the […]

i struggle with knowing exactly what day it is, what date it is, as each day blends into the same slurry of half attentive grime under gray skies, surrounded by angry faces unconcerned with traffic laws or basic kindnesses there is a fleeting panic as i guess which thing i have forgotten, what i am […]

today is filled with the melancholia of an empty nest in the leafless branches swaying dramatically in the approaching storm the odd conjunction where wintry emotion meets lingering heat leaving a confusion of supple anxieties to lash out morosely at numb gray skies

my own hands cut the threads that sought to bind me to this human condition leaving me bathed in solitary refinement i am a dead satellite long silent after a final garbled attempt at calling home failed a faulty transponder no one thinks about the battery indicator flashing its last blissfully untethered from a home […]

i have an ear for word flow an unmarketable quarter talent leaving me floudering in the impoverished end of the disassmebly line a regression of disparate agressions set to a backbeat that gets all the party people in the mood to flee the dancefloor nauseatingly sincere in the face of half said declarations incapable of […]

i lay the cold curve of the blade gently lovingly resting on my flesh the way the candlelight dances on the metal plays upon your contented smile i cannot tell which one cuts deepest through the long silent night hovering where sleep is a myth and dream runs freely over your knuckles as you carve […]

bands of shimmering chills bound tightly to shivering flesh each new disturbance sending fresh chills dancing to the rhythm of chattering teeth between illness and power shortages while drowning in holiday tears the cold has become psychosomatically entwined with this depressive solitude stabbing playfully these frozen daggers scrape and follow the curve of the spine […]

most of the time they stand watching as i choke to death trapped in this invisible box begging soundlessly for anyone to help offering nothing but their mute applause as i search frantically for any exit from this moribund hell of expected silence

life is truly an absurdist nightmare when psychotic death threats are the only sounds in a world of silence where a person is so uninteresting he has to have his identity mistaken to feel as if he actually exists hi my name is mike we haven’t met and i am not exactly who you seem […]

some people are destinations circled on the map of life in bold red ink while i am a half formed coffee ring a blotted stain with no guarantee of safe passage home

you have to let the kitten occasionally get the ball of yarn that is dangled tantalizingly in front of it or it grows bored of the game each day i wake farther detached from the dreams i chase fruitlessly as they grow more unapproachable and i foolishly continue on these shaking limbs trying to exact […]

there is a line of razor wire attached from the back of my right eye to the center of my brain and when i blink a nauseating wave of pain and remembrance triggers my bilateral vomitation center the past is my least favorite vacation spot yet i linger in sepia miseries far more often than […]

mold grows in wispy tufts across his weathered face a dessicated mummy sitting patiently waiting to see the sun facing westward in a marble tomb unknowing that he was never meant to witness its golden rays bound by yellowed bandages bereft of heart or brain stuffed with flower petals and spices as currency in another […]

i run my fingers down the sadness seeking seams to pull it apart uncertain if unraveling this itchy garment will leave me exposed or if i will cease to exist a puff of apathetic depressionary smoke quickly dissipated back into the aether lost in the wild unbound to the wheel a free floating assimilation of […]

it’s cold as i sit waiting for the laundromat to finally open the wind howls and my head is doing the worst imitation possible the weight of exhaustion in the face of three hours spent chasing dreams before reality exerted its sour disposition upon me leaves me feeling punchdrunk and overly encumbered now i watch […]

i can feel it crawling inside of my chest it lays dormant until i try to go to sleep then it skitters along my ribs runs up and down my weary spine latches firmly to my every thought until all i can do is toss and turn to try and crush it i miss you […]

these days feel as if i am surrounded by the dead and the dying shambling painfully a big gulp clenched tightly blood sugar fluctuations with every labored step a division of masked faces casting harsh disapprovals and blank stares a high and low system clashing swirling the greasy breeze that hovered stale and smothering over […]

i woke to a sky painted by rembrandt only for these van gogh feelings to bubble little depressions leaving a steel gray storm hovering above my every fleeting breath a rusted dagger between the second and third rib inserting tetanus into already heaving lungs of stagnant daydream regurgitant picasso sketched my reflection in unsettling honesty […]

she would tell me holding me was like clutching a bag of broken dreams that my heart was a bear trap and no matter how much she wanted to hold it and me, tight she knew she would likely lose an arm or bleed to death she would tell me i was too clever for […]

if i have learned any important lessons from life the most important is to always treat yourself as second then when you are never put first it isn’t a surprise it sounds sad living your life in this particular unseemly fashion maybe you can manage fine without but from my first half liquid gasp in […]

finger painting chaos as i trace the erratic drops running down the filthy glass only to see it vanish into the puddle forming beneath i sometimes wonder does god live in the spaces between answering prayers that get lost in atomic dissonance my fingers stained from tracing out the hidden meanings as my hue shifts […]

i feel less poetic than normal or perhaps this tragedy of silence has crushed the spark i am just a hanging participle left unread an ugly man with an even uglier heart beating itself to death as the birds greet the dawn

when we shine a light on the indifference shaping our everyday lives examine the flaws inherent in purchased freedoms we are lesser than the sheep happily grazing or the cattle herded down the uneven hallways of the slaughterhouse ignoring the sheer ignominy of existence to bask in perpetual miseries locked in fear of the emptiness […]

geometric daydreams in charismatic disarray bleed into the meteoric rhetoric of metaphorical crusades i put so muchpressure upon myselfmy heart isa diamond buriedin an ivory mazea canaryteetering onits perchunwilling to showweakness asthe miners collapselips locked ina rictus smilewith hints ofcerulean dismay complimentary equations hover inalgebraic melancholy of undefined integers scratched in alien text the words […]

woke up new and improved disabused of the notion that my feelings carry any weight leaving the hopelessness floating in the chilled wintery winds to finally fade away a morning’s affirmation after an evening’s confirmation i shed my wings closed my eyes and let the wind whistle a lullaby to sleeplessness as i spiral ever […]

expendable hearts and muted cries shine brightly in the inverse dawn where realizations are coffin nails and dreams become splinters of hell driven ever deeply into lonesome truth grasping hands are left to languish in this place of abandoned hopes there is no night just heart shadows and an ever present crushing silence to guide […]

still fluttering just near the hopeless side of frantic, counting to ten, three things i can see, two i can smell, one i can touch, deep breath, one everyone i come into contact with begins to hate me because i am a viscous stain of need coupled with a steadfast inability to reach out because […]

the worst of the anxiety has passed leaving this new anxiety over what the old anxiety did to me the day before an oroborus of madness in cyclical repetition making sleepless nights no different than these nightmare fueled days i can control my breathing today letting the words tumble gently excepting that last night i […]

my guts are electrified springs so much anxiety i feel as if i could explode i dangle from my last frayed nerve over a pit filled with hissing vipers and i can feel my sweaty fingers as they begin to slip two days trapped in this constant stabbing while the world taps incessantly at the […]

the hawk hung suspended above the intersection not moving wings spread pinions shuddering as the man powerwashed the gas station parking lot a glitch sounded in my operating system my mind frozen in time with the brown hawk hovering in place over angry drivers and beads of water carrying the dirt of thousand trips going […]

i am not foolish enough to believe the words could ever be for me and that is something to keep me up staring at the ceiling all night because some dreams ache too badly to allow to seed so i sit alone in a parking lot outside of dallas city hall weeping as the beauty […]