yesterday it was nearly eighty and the sun blessed the city with a bounty of gentle kisses and today my beloved texas has shifted along with its lonesome fool forty degress into a blank mass of shapeless gray disillusion i was asked to be on a panel of neurodivergent authors because of my open struggles […]

four days until your birthday and you came to talk in my dream last night instead of the normal night terror of saying the same thing into the abyss only to be ignored you put your arm around my shoulders the instantly familiar scent of old spice and cigarettes bringing me home the only time […]

when the spirals pull me deeper i long to be kissed until the world evaporates yet all i manage is to quicken the spinning her smile the only true dramamine in a world of vertiginous sorrows faded in the silent eternity of shattered dreamdander in vapid decline

there was a tingle of danger the moment she entered the room my hackles rose as her black eyes locked on me a predatory gaze that chilled me to the bone she seemed to glide across the room a seductive storm of malicious intent and i knew the fear of the tuna as the shadow […]

stay productive he tells himself as the anxiety pulses he knows as long as he keeps writing never stands too still he can stay one step ahead of his eventual collapse as long as he ignores the pieces left behind calculates how to continue minus a few essential support systems he shouldn’t fall completely apart […]

he walks squinting down at his phone seven foot tall in bright purple past a group of ladies in business attire heels clacking loudly on a quiet tuesday right before the mad lunch rush begins my head hurts and my backpack digs into my spine as i shift my shoulders and follow the amethyst giant […]

the sky is a deep dark shade of blue. or maybe that’s just me coloring the world in the hue of loss. you shouldn’t let me have the box of crayons when my impulse control is driven by my faulty heart. i wrote to her this morning in invisible ink because then i have a […]

rapidly cycling too much happening too quickly to keep my mental gymnastic routine in working order. this is where the fool gives in to the fires of chaos and just sort of hopes that it all works out. it hasn’t yet, but it has to eventually, right?

fluttering flailing trying to avoid letting the waters grow stagnant as the mold grows in blooming latticework on the surface just above me obscuring the beams of golden illusion as the silt settles heavily over weary limbs. sufferwrite rinserepeat it becomes impossible not to jump at shadows as the cataracts blur my vision fluttering flailing […]

feeling sort of mole(ish) the urge to burrow into the cool soil. the solitude of digging deep hoping to strike the mantle. happily exploring the vast interconnected tunnel system snaking through this hollow world. knowing there is as much chance of a subterranean hidden eco system as there is becoming a mole. but it’s okay […]

too busy to write poetry so i left i love yous scattered down the random streets and hoped despite my knowing better it would be enough

the bare branches of the trees an entanglement of middle fingers letting winter know exactly what they think of her frosty demeanor i am right there with you.

the faucet drips a lone orchestra in minimalistic exuberance a resounding sounding in chaotic repetition. the low rumble of planes circling ergonomically cradling the droplets as they crash ensconced in the heavy bass the soft plink carries an ethereal longing tainting the looming hope of a weekend unbegun.

the sun shines today yet it found the wrong end of the cycle and the golden light only highlights the depravity dripping down depression’s sullen sigh a prison cage of illumination trapping the shimmering hints of beauty into a mass of indignant malaise i saw my reflection before the shadows swarmed to hide my disfigured […]

and the mockingbird cried a disjointed series of harsh squeaks sonic fingernails down my chalkboard soul in the heavy cold of a thursday lost in confusion i sat flinching as the warbled dissonance passed in waves over the silent lot then i heard the jangled mating cry return three piercing squelches from across the street […]

i own four different umbrellas yet i am soaked in the rain with no good explanation except for rampant stupidity the year has announced itself in a bevy of storm and silences as a fool sits shivering waiting for a lull in the downpour thinking about the umbrellas leaning next to the front door at […]

there is no music this morning an apparent blown fuse discovered too late has the drumming of raindrops and the rapid fire swishswish accompanying a burgeoning panic attack standing water drivers driving too close for these inclement conditions swishswish a spray of briefly blinding filthy water blurred red in a cataract of precipitous hell i […]

a monotony of sovereign sodden gray the traffic in the distance a consistency of white noise roaring through standing water the sparrows bask in the moment between when the sun should rise and the rains triumphant return to bathe the day in dismalities. this instance of sheer chaos encapsulates the manic drive undulating in spectrographic […]

there’s this moment when you stop trying to find the story and in a storm of flashing images, the story finds you. you sit playing with the pieces, trying to break them, then figuring out the fix. when that final aha hits, you sit breathless needing to scream this story you have not yet written […]

at the south end of ervay the video billboard plays drone footage of downtown dallas shifting to infrared as i sit at a stop light enthralled. the hive is bustling as the happy soldiers collect food for the waiting queen atop her emerald throne. i feel spidery skittering down back roads weaving my web around […]

and i sat alone in the darkness running my fingers along the worn wooden ring of the dreamcatcher hoping to dislodge a sweet dream from the tangled knots of nightmares encrusted over the intricately woven design the sky ignited into an opalescent inferno a swarm of pink and purple bruising in reverse as i bask […]

there is an incomprehensible juxtaposition in the cheap seats at the coliseum being nosebleed while the elite sit ringside and how it is the same poor people living at ground zero while the upper class move farther away you can watch the signs of progression in the rings of the city the once fancy neighborhoods […]

this incessant mania makes the end of the world into a joyride my pulse thumping along to the clack of the warped old wooden boards clack clack clackclack clackclackclackclack in the ashes of home a tired metronome persnickety in stubborn refusal to accept the lonesome rhythm doesn’t have quite the same soul if i hit […]

the planes pass low overhead shaking me from my fevered reverie inside the protective bubble of my car i try not to think of frozen fecal matter on the bottom of the flight from dubai as it scatters a grotesque pollen in the gray skies just a ray of fucking sunshine on a dismal day […]

lost in the limpidity of forever’s incomprehensible gaze as i seek the next prognostication in perilously penned prose as i let my fingers trail through the electronic swirl of æther detecting the patterns in vacant lines that hope for a mysterious sensuality yet in their repetition show nothing but a vapid need for attention limp […]

tonighti feel thequotidianpull of thesilverylunacy inelectricspasmswhere allthe/inconsequentialitiesdispersencloudofscattereddropletscountingtheringsastheyracealongtheebonysurfaceofthedarksideofthefool/snapshotsof afaded skytaken momentsbeforea storma palpablepressurein thesweet sirensong ofsilveryslivers ofdeliciouslunacy.

the heronstood in theshallowsawkwardlymajestic asit silentlywatched thesun glint offof the wavesfiery wispsdancing inaloof celebration the universeis capable offeats ofunrivaled beautyeasily forgottenin the terminalugliness ofsingularitiestrudging alongalone in theunbridled madnessof existence i keep a heronpinion to remindmyself thatmy opinionis little morethan aninner choruswailing in dissenta latchkeycollection ofsubversive flawsonly i can see she unfurlsher ivory wingsreed like legsbent […]

the window rattles my heart beat a seismic event calm thoughts reel the rampant emotions back into their cage and lock the door the world spins at roughly seventeen hundred kilomers per second at the equator mine moves twice that when i get stuck chasing ghosts the window rattles my heart beat in a panic […]

i prefer writing in the morning if the words feel sad i can peel the scab lest it fester and color the day but when they call in the evening i sit unable to swallow as the words swell in my throat and i face giving in or giving up if the nib touches the […]

fuck me. this mania won’t go away. it has been weeks. i have become a manic man pixie dancing and singing as i clean and clean and clean, unable to sit still. just the music up too loud as electricity crackles in my skull. at odds with the miserable thoughts permeating this tangible catastrophe, sparks […]

i can’t recall the last time i slept but as i stood pissing the bubbles formed a spider’s eye i watched as the mass blinked once before i quickly flushed the angry glare remained even as it spun down the drain the music is up loud and the voices whisper a mad hush coming through […]

“alone again?” she asked i could hear the smile i knew parted her full lips but i ignored her as i listened to the word play slipping into the gaps between intricate lyrics and the driving sound of 808s “you knew exactly how it would end, yet you let yourself fall once again. don’t you […]

it has been days since i have uttered a word now i sit waiting for the phone to ring announcing a return to unwanted reality. my jaw has rusted shut a bear trap forgotten left to the elements i have lost my ability to speak. a simple contradiction after spending so long trying to he […]

a final morning as the ice retreats baring the city to the orange nimbus hovering gently to the east by tomorrow only the furrows carved by the glacial dispersal will remain the skies blush a light pink as if a hundred thousand blossoms awaken to dispel winter from the sleepy city as it stretches to […]

we put an inordinate amount of trust in the meteorlogistic prognistication of a rodent allowing it to determine such an important decision though you begrudgingly need to give the furry little bastards a modicum of credit for literally decimating the human population that was clearly a one off and we already let rabbits the bloodthirsty […]

atoms pinging chaotically in a vacuum frictionless works of fiction never stopping merely deflecting off one another hoping for an ambient bond to form skittering endlessly in a state of quantum dissonance if energy can neither be created nor destroyed then every i love you sits discarded pieces of pearlescent shells eradicated by the moon’s […]

wolves howl the crunch of paws on the icy snow outside the windows as the sky transitions to endless white a lone mockingbird calls out a three note refrain that folds in on itself into a wall of angry static as the pack circles i am a pitted gargoyle perched on the edge of a […]

there was a fool melancholy as the ice rained down outside sitting quietly on couch as bittersweet romances spill out in the candlelight shadow theatre playing on the walls so calm except for the high pitch ringing the cold causing the bands to constrict around his chest the ice falls he is falling the same […]

the sparrows line the railing chattering in what feels like an aural assault from from a rift torn in the fabric of reality itself beady black eyes stare unblinkingly as the coffee steams in a yellowed mug the weight of atoms vibrating slowly in place meandering little building blocks restrained by the wintry refrain and […]

i should sleep or at least lay still with my eyes closed as impossibilities flash unbidden fake it until enough time passes to rinse and repeat my way through another day each night i spin myself a sheet cocoon liquefy myself into a dreamslurry of enforced metamorphosis only to struggle free of my bonds somehow […]

lost in the fractals sketched in frost down the glass a cataract blinding the all- seeing eye of fate i trace the whorls of lady winter’s delicate fingerprints longing to feel her fingers softly laced with my own as i stare into her lovingly oblivious gaze lost in the rapture etched in frost down my […]

the clouds hang so low the trees seem to be the only thing keeping the ground from vanishing in the smoky vapor \ heaven is suspended on a block of dry ice the clouds are the manifestation of god’s baleful intent / i am a malcontent rubbing two sticks hoping for a spark a flame […]

the city bedazzled in ice sits silent the ambient sound has gone missing no cars or planes or sirens or people a lone hollow note rings a low rumble pulses across the electric purple clouds the heater kicks on as the storm begins again the city bathed in frozen silence sits morosely in the merciless […]

standing beneath steel gray skies in the yellowed light shining off the buildings the air is still yet filled with a trillion icy hanging droplets there is calm peacefulness a blanketed serenity laying gently in a glittering crust as i stand vibrating with sparkling light an alien tourist plucking diamonds only for them to melt […]

thunder calls as the sleet falls a torrent of stinging crystals slicing razors forming mercurial icy shells on the dismal skyline i hear sirens singing warnings in the stillness between showers i press my face to the foggy door lost in the spectacle blurry sleet crashing around me when i pull back a frozen facade […]

have you ever seen the inside of a turtle’s throat? a nightmare of jagged hooks compressing with each contraction tearing soft flesh to ribbons. curse this abhorrent anxiety swallowed whole by a snapping turtle, alone in this endless night of my own accord. the last words still coalesce a barbwire noose lovingly crafted an exit […]

the city is paralyzed by an incoming cold promising ice dark and dreary the skies match my demeanor as i shiver in an empty parking lot lost in thought trying now to drift away what will come with the storms a marathon of rolling blackouts as the ice falls exchanging one mobile prison for the […]

connecting dots subverting the transitive properties seeking a solution to the overwhelming sense of my structural stuttering in place as the insular loneliness shelters me ignoring as the universe wobbles with a dystopic curvature putting the things i desire just ahead and around the bend in time dilations coagulating the soaces between as i sputter […]

i clutch dreams a handful of loose pearls the floor is covered in the perilous lost spectres each step an uncertain risk i stand shaking clutching a handful of dreams flinching as another pops out of my sweaty palm to clink and bounce before chattering into place scattered delusions a floor covered in caltrops soon […]

the soup is heating up and the rice is cooking as the aroma of fresh baked cookies fills the air a hustling bustle holding down the sadness of dwindling minutes none of us are quite willing to acknowledge as sunday fades gently to dust soon enough reality will rubberband back into unsightly refrains of dismal […]

little more than a petulant collection of frankenstein’s creatures cobbled together from the corpses of childhood dreams forced into an unwanted existence by a slurry of chemicals as lightning strikes the collection of misremembered memories floating in a myopic sense of lost wonder scared and alone torn from the comforting dark assaulted by sensory overload […]

grief is an ouroboros all consuming infecting every atom a nuclear barrage of self implosions a crater a toxic cloud hanging heavy hiding a forever altered skyline i cannot see through the curtain of tears as the curtain closes on another daydream delirium i choke on the soot as aspirations smolder on the green wood […]

bars of golden light diffused through the dirty glass slice through the smoky haze a retention of hope vivisecting a frozen morn the coffee tastes of ash my tongue a terminal for the arcing dissent frying bare nerves bathed in the bars of golden light a cognizant shadow in a fog of swirling caffeinated particulates […]

the afterimage of phantom lightning strikes is etched into every furtive blink as the asphalt erupts around me plasma induced explosions rattle the overpass yet no one else seems affected as i speed by in a ruptured panic dodging errant gigavolt destruction in hurry to get nowhere before the end of everything

i wrote to you yesterday a message expressing my feelings as the sparrows hopped happily around me i left it unsent an open wound bleeding love into the æther because i knew you wouldn’t care to read it the same as the day before on and on for the last two months i hoped to […]

i didn’t know who i was for so very long because i was always someone different i didn’t know there was something off inside that made me chase clouds always seeking some magic a miracle that could satiate my ever changing desperation it took too long to recognize the pattern the shifts to see normal […]

the world is frozen and still populated by sad faces staring out of frosted windows looking for a bit of hope to carry them through the day i scurry an insect exploring immune to the concept of time driven by instinct as the full weight of the multifaceted horrors in a perpetual fog of danger […]

i have hours between calls sitting in the cold rain in a gravel lot outside the fed ex warehouse somewhere west of 35 a few miles from the next appointment too far from anything except empty parking lots and blustery bouts of rain waiting for the next act to play out in my mind a […]

the rain began in the middle of the night the power failed soon after as i lay shivering beneath the heavy gray blanket listening to the elegiac sounds of the chimes half muted in the frigid drops while winter sat watching patiently in the gray swirl my mind leapt between conclusions as little flashes of […]

i am a squid. an ink black cloud. then poof, gone. i have the heart of an invertebrate and the soul of a mad franciscan friar wailing away in a fibonacci sequence of descending chaos compressed into a bullet shot point blank at the tenuous fabric of creation a despot dreaming of draining the font […]

i am not adverse to change just petrified of anything different from the status quo i have built my necessary routines upon the rigid rules on which my fractured brains subsides but now the blue has become green and the constant comparisons to days past are a rusty nail jammed deep into my anxiety dipped […]

pop i could feel it pop poppop the edge of the mania warble pop a ripple ran along in a placid distortion yet it filled me with a loathsome anticipation pop poppop pop the drips of moisture in my throbbing skull becoming agitated pop i don’t want to fall i have seen this bottom dwelled […]

we all have that silly little dream that never quite dies even as life proves it will assuredly never be a reality mine has always been to say live from new york it’s saturday night then have a great monologue before introducing the musical act the only change over the decades is which band that […]

i have sat erasing unwritten poems from my mind tracingtheseimpossibletanglesthrough/a rat’s nest/ofangular sorrowswith(a)rapidlyshrinking pinktrapezoidtryingtosolveintnagibilitythroughstubbornrefusaltoadmitthe/light at the end of the tunnel/isnothingmorethan (a)fuckingtrainbarrelingdownthetrack a shower of inky flecks falls as i scrub the folds of my defective brain a trail of half remembered snippets in a pool of unshed tears /little more than a collection of accumulated […]

i have been known to seemingly exaggerate from my sphere of hyperbolic ramblings from time to time but one thing i know for sure is where to get the best pancakes in all of texas without question my friends have divined the best practice to lure an anxious fool from his dark and comfy hidden […]

deadlines are creeping yet i bounce between four stories and think about ten others i will likely never write hoping for a calm in the storm or at least to sit in the eye for a while my emotions are a color wheel constantly spinning and depending on the hue i can write ten thousand […]

at three o’clock the rumbling of the neighbor’s truck rattled the window and i woke her name on my tongue and an ache in my chest a rather auspicious start to another lonesome weekend but the palpations ease the flow of sorrow in inflection a case of unwanted introspection as moon hangs in fractured repose […]

my lips will keave you singed the fever in one impassioned kiss burns an inferno leaving your lovely shadow burnt into a silhouette projected onto the wall my embrace carries the chill of the grave as your heart fuels the flames while i siphon your very soul with the grace of my silvery talented tongue […]

today spun itself into a disturbing dervish of frantic action a ball of manic anxiety shivers arcing against my ribcage the fiction becomes irrelevant concentration a myth skimming eight books for a word to incite creation been so long since i escaped the city i had forgotten the lazy circles of hawks over withered fields […]

last night i slept for once i was a normal boy capable of stringing together hours of dream and awake to the alarm clock savored the hot coffee and sat as the sun rose lost in my head as the stories tell their secrets sylvia’s words grandiloquently scraping the toxins from my brain in this […]

a symphony of singing crystals the clatter of skeletal hands clamoring for a momentary warmth the world pauses queues up the next batch of discordant racket the sudden silence lays heavy the stillness pressing down downdowndown one note floating sharp and clear through the emptiness a pinprick of beauty drawing a deep crimson blossom swelling […]

the lady at the post office asked if i had a printer i could use to print out the address labels since my handwriting is so atrocious she was more polite about it as she pointed at the jumble hoping i could translate the chicken scratch the lady at the register next to her laughed […]

i am a bystander the people unseemly collections of dream wispy phantasms swirling in spectral clouds of ambiguous malaise my fingers pass through as the performance plays on an audience of one sitting at the edge of my seat as i imagine what happens next swallowing the longing to be a part of the play […]

i cannot tell if it a motorcycle racing back and forth down the road outside or if it is a gigantic circular saw slowly tearing its way through grand prairie the engine whines reverberating as i brush my teeth rattling the mirror or at least my brain within my cavernous skull as i gargle and […]

the skeletal branches scraping slate gray skies beguiling a faux winter feel as i sip coffee and nurse lavender clusters from the silence of the living room the kids are still asleep as the birds sing triumphant tales of verdant fields a serenading symphony in softly whistled snatches proclaiming the glory of pseudo springtime in […]

ever feel one track over for the longest time the tracks ran together but slowly the layers peeled away and now maybe you should have zagged the safe bet was to zig but what if does it keep you up at night that fucking surefire zig you knew deep deep down it screamed a desperate […]

there once was a man who loved the moon no that is unfair it belittles his dedication implies he is touched by the spirit of madness not just madly in love for who could possibly love the moon? the coldly aloof spectre hanging demurely in the night the wan relfection with a dark side barely […]

there is an intrinsic peace found in a hard night coming down a surrealistic exposé on the logic in setting down the phone as the heaviness radiating softly in your skull leads to a unquenchable melancholy a desert of intimacy in stark moonlight coldly reflected ina trillion grains of dreamscatter a tattered tired vagabond snug […]

no one spares a thought for the birds umceremoniously pushed from the nest who never figured out how to fly our feet crack the hollow bones as we watch spellbound the sparrows fly and sing an avalanche of writhing pink featherless fear stricken figurative fatalities falling falling falling there is a parable in there probably […]

and so, at last the fool sat strapped to a folding chair with a bouquet of eager balloons tied the back astride his wobbling star speckled chariot holding two bright red flares he wobbles on the gently blowing breeze one last quixotic attempt to mar the ideal of beauty with his posioned pen of vagrant […]

i haven’t drank in a long time but i can close my eyes and taste the phantom burn with notes of smoke and pure ambrosia tonight i lay in the darkness a hazy transparency hanging heavily the fire of creation burning wildly in my belly stripped bare beyond nudity a transient state somewhere between implausible […]

when the dust finally settles our organs are unceremoniously bagged and tossed into our abdominal cavity and our blood has been siphoned out replaced with the brightly colored formaldehyde the paperthin flesh reduced to dust in a film over pitted ivory the things that made us miserable the piece of food wedged between broken molars […]

the light darted out between the slender trunks lining the small one and a half lane country road aesop rock was rapping about a thousand virtues kicking the same bucket like chinatown turtles and i was one with the cosmos racing like a single photon unerringly straight into the cardiac stutter of a near panic […]

spent an hour signing books trying to write legibly so the lady at the post office doesn’t have an embolism all while trying to not come off as an asshole to the kind people that wanted a fool’s autograph in a book he scribbled lavender shippers with chicken scratch along the labels familiar anxiety over […]

little kitten meowing at my door happily consuming a can of tuna and a bowl of water rubbing up against my bare shins a ferocious little ball of purring already learning to game the system yet despite your independent streak a quick stop for chin scratches after your morning feast before skulking back into the […]

if we had some sort of super powered parabolic microphone aimed at the heart of a black hole i imagine it just pulsates bleakly screaming at the emptiness of space maybe that’s just me it’s easy to dissociate when there is no reason not to be uncertain where you are or if you are or […]

was being an unwanted pregnancy the precursor to an living an unwanted existence or was it the knowledge of being unwanted that set me on course to question everything i had been taught just barely cognizant enough to forecast self fulfilling prophecies of dire dooms to recognize the recursive shitshow growing into a mutilation of […]

hope is the tinderawaiting a sparkto light the bonfireof discarded dreamsor so it seemssitting in a parkinglot with nowhere to goand all day to get there patiencehas never beena virtuejust fertileground tosow the seedsof uneasinessas the interminableseconds ceasetheir infernallyarduous flow i havedeconstructedmyself so oftenin this silencealways findingan extra partwhen i finishto toss withthe mounting pileof […]

there is a subtle beauty in the flashing of the cursor on a blank screen when i need to scream out my anxiety or cry out my love but there is nothing but the staccato beat of the blue line focusing all of this hyperbole into stringently defiled order a brief silence before my thumbs […]

the wind is a howling wolf prowling just outside my bedroom window i hear it over the shower in an array of disharmonics sounding the clumsy metal collisions of the wind chimes as they hang horizontally in the wailing gales i stood shaving putting the broken pieces of sleep together to show a full design […]

i have been preoccupied with death lately moreso than normal when the walls are pressing in on me as i lay wide awake after hours feeling too tired to think now all i have is these thoughts ricocheting about my cavernous skull writingwritingwriting using a straw in a futile effort to stay ahead of the […]

you could attach jumper cables to my heart and power a remote village from the anxiety in an acidic halo of near panic whispering softly in willowy undertones under my frantic pulse enslaved by these feverish desires the devil’s heartbeat thunders deeply in my papermache chest i am torn to shreds in the divine chaos […]

my friend and i were walking through the woods one hot summer day i had just gotten new shoes and as he walked in the creek i stayed ten feet above him going through the trees because i knew what would happen if i got my shoes all muddy i remember exactly when the tree […]

a friendaskedme to writean introductionfor his newcollectionof shortfictionand as iscribbled mythoughts onhis writingand on ourfriendshipit beganto feel asif i werewriting hiseulogy insteadof sellingthe readeron his words in my macabremindset ibegan toeulogize myselfa goddamned foolwho gives pastthe point oftotal embarrassmentunrelentingin his pursuitof what doesn’twant anythingto do with himspilling himselfinto the ætherincessantly tothe verge ofbecoming a parodymaking […]

i despise my delicate nature easily bruised a faint breeze leaves me shattered all i can do is lash out in my petulance airing every ache skinless in the storm of salty tears so filled with the golden glow of untarnished emotion the beauty of which i cannot capture as it seers my insolent tongue […]

the mourning routine remains unchanged a pot of adderall to wash down the bitter brown coffee as i read the news of the last evening tapping the same apps hoping for a new spin on the old insanity half an hour pleading with the universe for a deviation off this accursed loneliness as i get […]

occasionally i find myself on a web sitting quite still as is my peculiar nature feeling the vibrations of alien interpersonal connections run beneath my curiously awkward perch i make myself as small as i can to not disturb the buzzing semivoyeuristic afraid if i become to active a tidal wave of my madness will […]

the bells of the chapel played a happy song and i wished you were there as the melody rang out holding my hand