progress

you may wonder why everything is always in lowercase. it’s harder to scream. but you would be surprised at just how fucking easy it is to cry in lowercase. trust me. i am a professional. not sure at what exactly. call me, a work in progress.

old.

i see the white hairs in my beard the once lonesome outlier now pushing forward i don’t remember getting old i don’t feel old despite the white hairs the cheater glasses the constant aches the brain seems sharp is it shit i don’t know fuck fuck it’s late i woke up upside down on the […]

8lb sledge

i know i am cranky when the birds screaming outside pisses me off all i want is silence or maybe some ryo playing softly undisturbed the birds did not cause this headache i am not irrational not that irrational but every trill every whistle is a finishing nail in my eyeballs with an eight pound […]

winsome

she had a winsome smile from across the parking lot or so i assumed there was behind her mask i couldn’t say for sure but the way her eyes sparkled when i waved made me think so it is the reality i have chosen and it makes the day seem less dour

mediocracy

set adrift on the sea of mediocrity the status quo now a mediocracy critical yet incapable of criticism didactic the phantom swishing of a prehensile tail lost in another time squeaking along the broken bands of time calamitous collateral damages done without a wayward glance backwards

error code

the sky is gray the world outside is hollow just another facade painted along the roadside to give the impression that there is meaning to any of this antagonizing sorrow. in my mind you and i play in the water you and i me and you mean something more than passing fancy. the sky is […]

smears

she stares at me from across the dark parking lot with a blank expression compounded with the yellowish flood light casting long shadows across her face black seems to pour down her cheeks as she stretches on gnarled hand out across the void of night between us my heart stutters in my chest as my […]

orgy

if not for the irregular thump of the ceiling fan the world is so still for a long moment i am alert the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end a chorus of cats fucking somewhere in the bushes startles the world to life again but not really it is all subdued […]

craft of the titans

the paper maché pegasus standing with wings unfurled in the sunny spring afternoon drifting lazily through the curtained window watching over the land with a faint smile drawn upon it’s college rule notebook skin somewhere a pipe cleaner perseus journeys into the perilous styrofoam caverns in which the fates stand around a cauldron with a […]

third

i may not be the poet laureate of texas but i am the third most famous poet in my apartment complex the title goes to the little asshole that put a collaborate and listen sticker on the stop sign the runner up is the guy that scratched a dirty limerick into the paint above the […]

huffing ether

i dreamed in it i was a beetle floating upside down in a whiskey bottle huffing ether while reading kafka in a quarantine during a global pandemic in torn boxers without cable ignoring the news the gas fires the walking dead the milling masses aimlessly pacing back and forth on threadbare carpet in run down […]

smothering

i know by the streak of fire lancing through my arm as my clumsy body rolls over to spring my mind to wakeful exasperation it will take time to fall asleep huddled against the wall of pillows that make the empty bed seem alive even as the deafening hush speaks volumes in the tenacious silence […]

another sip

and lo the fool sipped from a battered clay mug the most exquisite cocktail of neurochemicals with a fragrant bouquet of intoxicating sorrow layered depression he had had his fill long long ago yet damned idiot he is he lifts the mug for another sip

art(i)st needed

looking for a ghost writer to scribble my autobiography in audible alliteration someone to sculpt me out of butter based on my profile as seen fired from the barrel of a gun i realize i am less poet than performance artist casually picking scabs while a rapt audience of none watches on these are not […]

19 years on (hey ho, let’s go)

the dyed black hair, gangly limbs, dancing adam’s apple as snotty odes to teenage rebellion are spit over the distorted guitars and screaming kids in tattered clothes denim jacket and worn out chucks, identical bowl cuts, four chords and catchy hooks you told me judy is a runt in a way that i knew her […]

to River Dixon, a rambling response

the air feels heavy, heavier than the accumulated molecules, a hint of rain to wet the dry ground of desert vistas a torrential storm to be greedily drank by the dessicated browns of once flourishing green the pitter patter of mechanical steps sounds softly through the heady song of confusion, obtrusion, intrusion and whispered delusion […]

cerberus

three snarling maws drip flame to the rough stone floor from just inside the obsidian cave at the rear of the gigantic cavern six red eyes glare out malice emanating in waves to bathe the area in knee trembling fear in the unblinking stare a low rumble shakes the stalactites a shower of stone dust […]

voice

my poetry is meant to be sang softly to a beat you will never quite be able to hear it sounds like the diamond rains on pluto falling into quicksilver a faint whistle echoing through the hollow dwarf planet a stiletto heel clicking across the plastic hull of a star gazer as it circles in […]

doot

my fist hurts from cracking bricks during yet another we are sorry our princess is not at this castle trip through the inevitable failure of an unpoetic fool seeking to ply his trade in words when stomping goombas is all he ever truly knew doo doo doot do doo doot doot

dreams, wishes, hopes

i wished a gnarled wish dreamt a broken dream let my hopes become unfurled against a backdrop of nightmares somewhere in this pit of infernal sobs between the hoarse screams of the damned the skittering legs of unseen monsters lurking just within the shadows i found myself tucked away in the webs of misery that […]

tilt a whirl

the four sides of this cage have become sinuous constricting restricting distracting as the feeling of self destructing reaches a fevered climax the never ending haze of sleep deprivation and constant pain makes the world feel like a tilt a whirl car operated by a chimp on amphetamines

you don’t pick your death

she staggered down the broken pavement leaving bloody footprints to mark the trail leading back towards the scene of her undoing a wild gleam in her eyes spoke of things best left unspoken she needed a stiff drink a three hour shower possibly a nice soft mattress to pass out upon once it was all […]

mechanism

a mechanical hiss permeates the darkness the sullen drip of liquid lazily plopping into a stagnant pool punctuates this rasping breathing of the machine fungus is the only thing that thrives in this abomination of living conditions the spores cling to the porous mortar between blackened cinder blocks the lone light swings with a polluted […]

waffle cone

the sun pounded down on the city like an iron fist in a velvet glove the sounds of the ice cream truck crawled ever closer as the children scrambled for cash he sits behind the wheel of his mobile freezer with blank anguish drawn in neon across his lined face the heat of the day […]

times

there are times when i close my eyes let the world fade away that i can hear the crackle of tobacco smell the earthy tones of freshly poured liquor my lips feel the phantom brush of hers my tongue numbed by whiskey my hands on the small of her back wishing to slide along her […]

tired

some days there just isn’t anything but that deep bone tired every thing else is too much i feel like a wrinkled bag blowing in the desert wind between dunes that are interchangeable lost and too god damned tired to do anything but let that fetid air push me wherever it will

crow noir

the old crow watches patient head cocked the light playing off of it’s ebony feathers in shimmering spectral shades of purple and green there is an understanding in those black orbs an intelligence that is lost in the auspicious unmoving form it speaks volumes in the unnerving silence hinting at a debt owed a life […]

a continuing series of ever increasing oddities, part XXVII

when faced with the unexplainable such as say an unblinking ocular exception or a downfall of blood science is shelved for a case of the old fashioned religious zealotry with good reason it becomes difficult to convey the impact of suddenly discovering everything you thought you knew was miniscule in the face of eternity but […]

g.a.o.o.

all we are is imagination in a meat suit a cluster of nerves that have attached to a mobile body interpreting chemicals and lights into a series of ideas we call reality what is reality to electrical impulses electricity has one desire to go home well my incorporeal mind has determined she is home yet […]

long thought deadened

my overwhelming curiosity battles my natural instincts to stay hidden in my cave this has always been the case my best friends knew that I would vanish for weeks at a time to try to get my head straight or ride the wave of inexplicable sorrow the constant struggle of the introverted extrovert today the […]

microwaves

the workers stand in front of the microwaves that have been wrapped in caution tape confusion as they hold their cold meals staring with blank faces as the manager explains that it is new policy to prevent people loitering in close proximity the little things that have vanished in the face of essential yet somehow […]

magnolias

the heavy waxy leaves of the magnolia trees hang low over the empty sidewalks staring out over a city that has been so busy for so long now left quiet only missing the tumbleweed blowing across the dusty streets to finish the ghost town facade a haze of pollen glints in the air like yellow […]

left de(composed)

beethoven’s ninth plays softly in the room as the moon sits lazily in the sky outside on one of those in between kind of evenings that melt away into the many unremarkable events broken by a few magical moments that make the slog semi-worth it at times my mind wanders to her chestnut hair that […]

vacuous reaches

the tacit lack of recoil meant the killing blow was not felt as it left tongue to pierce the inner ear of civility the gravity of the situation was not lost in the zero gravity of the vacuous reaches of her needing space

dust devil of good intentions

the empty faces half covered with darting fearful glances the walking dead just not quite aware yet roaming the decimated aisles where canned goods once sat he drives down the once busy road seeing the sign that states the next four turns go to the mall but no one is going to the mall just […]

slivers of mirror

the only girl he ever loved was born with slivers of mirror for teeth when she smiled it cast a blinding glare across faces filled with horrific wonder at the many scattered reflections of the folly of fools in love as the trees turned green and the bombs rained down from the many circling planes […]

dangling

dangling the view from the edge of the cliff is divine as fingers scramble to find purchase on the tufts of brown grass a fool’s game feeling the earth give with every frantic grasp to let go to just freefall into the gaping mouth of the abyss below better than dangling at least in midfall […]

The other shoe tends to drop

Hello dear readers The world is shaky at best right now. This morning I was informed our hours would be cut at work. As someone barely making it check to check, this is something I can not survive. And I’m not the only one struggling. I don’t know what I am going to do to […]

icy daggers

the words fell from her lips like icy little blades designed to freeze and flay the very soul i hope you die she immediately wished she could pull them back that she could send her tongue out like a lasso to latch onto them and swallow them to dissolve in the roiling acids that filled […]

pandora

pandora sat quietly staring at the clay vessel in front of her in her solitary room at the foot of mount olympus she never asked to be given breath by the gods to find herself plucked from the sea foam and clay a world of wonders greeted her outside yet she was obsessed with the […]

cherry blossoms

he dashes through the floating cherry blossoms as they dance on the light breeze through the evening air the moon hangs fat and bright above as the silent strikes like a cobra in the tall grass lash out in rapid succession the trilling of the heron sings in the darkness beyond the flickering light of […]

sidewinder

the sands seem sinuous as the sunlight stabs unsightly daggers into the eyes of all who are stricken by the unfiltered photons when i was a kid i liked to study snakes the sidewinder with the strange way it slithers across the stinging sands was always my favorite simply because of the oddness of it […]

gribbit

Peter felt sleepy. The fear had slowly ebbed away from his heavy limbs. The days events drawing quietly away to dissipate like the early morning mist over the trees. The trip to the jungle. The savages attacking. Being tied up and put into the giant pot. Watching them laugh as he squirmed against the rough […]

beyond words

the rollercoaster seems to be one straight plummet into the bowels of candy coated nightmares in a cistern of excrement splattered reenactments of soap opera starlets and genocidal dictators playing polo on the dessicated corpse of summer’s last good bye. i am listlessly searching for an exit from this long corridor my mind insists is […]

dreamt

i used to just dream about simple things like watching the sunset over the water of an ocean i have never seen in a land i didn’t know existed now i find myself wondering what it would feel like to wrap my arms around you to smell your perfume as my lips gently kiss your […]

dreamstench

the days when depression grips tightly in that lovers embrace of tragedy beguiling the effervescent waves of wildflowers and pomegranate daydreaming when she clutches the back of your neck with sharp talons breaking flesh in crescent moon shaped reminders of how there is so very little that remains in this world that can match her […]

two travelers and bad word play

his father’s name was sam a poor dirt farmer from a long line of dirt farmers he grew up watching as his father get older as the world spun around them without notice he dreamt of more than stinging grit in the wind bill collectors and sore muscles he would travel the world see the […]

worse

it is an eldritch algorithm that insinuates itself deeply into the undercurrent of insidiously frenzied need to pull the gasping mouths beneath the surface of the toxic pools of self asserted necessity gently entwined into the harsh light that shines upon the ever growing cracks in the facade of ritualistic joy we live love and […]

of sins and sunlight

The wind was fire on his skin, pouring salt across open wounds. The sun sent blinding forks of lightning through his skull. Blood welled on the stones as he pounded his fists fervently while howling agony at the heavens. The gods ignored his screams today. Just as they did every other day. This was his […]

rough sketch of the cover

the rough pencil lines bring the words to life as they spill across the page like graphite rivulets of hot blood let loose from the series of worms that writhe just beneath the skin under the harsh light of summer’s fury pounding the cracked earth an encapsulation of the intent given form from the nebulous […]

abysmal silence

when she spoke it was like a radio tuned to static her eyes flickered as if she tried to tune to a frequency decipherable to the strange creatures braying before her she had a pretty smile that sparkled in her eyes when the weight of the world was turned towards another poor soul to sputter […]

plaguerism

at the laundromat during the plague the normally indifferent faces left as eyes floating in an indistinct void over paper masks as the dirt of the week is slowly spun from the soiled cloths that somehow keep this emperor roaming the hallways of his own mind in glorious nude misunderstatement of the differences between viral […]

holding the future like a blade against the throat of today

she was a psychic using the future as a blade to carefully slice apart the present tense muscles of past indiscretions indiscriminately being forgotten intimately being dismantled this mantle of soothe sayer waving her hands over a crystal ball to see the spirits of the living dead all while holding the future like a blade […]

March end with the Fool

Hey there Dear Readers Been an odd month so far. The world is locked down. The panic is rising. Let’s take a deep breath and find out centers. In with the good, out through the mask. As March winds down I realized, at this very moment(ish), the cover for my Western Horror tale is being […]

answers

maybe every wish has been over a meteor falling from grace and never the shooting star i had hoped for maybe every prayer was uttered in the wrong language to be picked up by the holy antennae of the gods every dream was just a regurgitation of the days events mangled and made palatable by […]

snail

when the pain gets to be too much the anxiety whispers the depression pressures until my inner organs turn to diamond i retreat into my shell feeling less like a hermit crab than a snail as the world speeds past yet i cannot seem to get my bearings the spiral of my mobile command center […]

dropping pennies

he lives by the airport he likes the noise having grown up by the train tracks making a gentle rumble was more comforting than distracting some days he would sit constipated by the words that taunted his every day with their incessant murmuring then running away on those days he would sit at the window […]

a plea for rain

it seemed to rain everyday for a month the entire time the dull gray skies seemed a reflection of my soul now the sun shines through the crystal blue and in this naked exposure i find myself longing for the rains i am as tumultuous as those thunderheads that hung morosely over the uncaring concrete […]

the call

he stares out the window at the birds flying free swooping merrily through the bright azure skies a chubby squirrel stares at him with its head cocked possibly wondering why the hairless is trapped in a box the conference call had been going for roughly two hours longer than was positively possibly necessary yet no […]

lesser than

i have a diabetic sweet tooth craving everything that will only lead to my undoing i have a blind spot for trouble that leads to stumbling in the darkness for the edge of the cliff i have a an inconvenient grasp on the truth when it points towards fallacies that seem ideal i have a […]

mourning routine

the low bassline rumbles across the floor to find purchase in my now tapping toes the guitar kicks in as the cymbals shiver with vibration she sits on couch with her legs demurely crossed ignoring the fact that sunlight streams across her erect nipples as she pretends to read all pretense lost as she sets […]

of pomegranate kisses and fires left unchecked

her pomegranate stained lips leave a trail of bloody kisses down the rigidity of all i try to suppress the world is silent except for her breathing a symphonic array from her lungs combined with my need to launch the entire room into chaos of action as my hands play down her bare legs still […]

hoof it

the words escape me trapped in a whirlwind of my own butter discontented sighs to traipse across the room a will o’wisp of bad intentions irresponsible irreprehensible irreparable an abomination an abdominal snow man a flaky crust of subservitude to a cause and affectionately spooked recurring theme i don’t know what’s happening but i don’t […]

a continuing series of ever increasing oddities, part XXI

there is a river that runs far underground that has never seen the light of day fed by one underground aquifer to travel through a honeycomb of caverns and spill into another pale creatures uncatalogued by ever inquisitive scientists live and die in this unlit land it is mindless in its flow in the molecular […]

springtime for isolation

tomorrow is the vernal equinox as the sun passes the celestial equator to the northern hemisphere far below the two hemispheres of the self isolated brain begin the slow divergence into two autonomously functioning sickly gray matter simulated masses realms of total fear when fitzgerald or heminway were isolated during the spanish flu they guzzled […]

(un)poetic, free for a limited time

Hello dear readers So the world is in a panic and everyone is being told to stay indoors. Myself and the wonderful people at Potter’s Grove Press know that can be long hours of staring at the walls. Why not read my first poetry collection to wile away the time? For free! That’s right. Until […]

current dismissals

i feel like one of the last icebergs floating in the warm waters of mental breaking slowly shrinking into the abyss of ever drowning this is home this is heaven this is hell this is home this is here this is now this is the end of the beginning the begining of the end don’t […]

emp(t)

the empty highways of a city on lockdown afraid of everything it feels like a holiday except for us poor bastards headed to work

another bitter worker’s lament

mostly everyone in the company i work for is working from home. they can do everything over the web. then there is us techs. we read the emails warning that it is for the best if everyone avoids everyone else for the next few weeks. as we, the lesser than, get sent out, much like […]

simple things

the most complex things are made up of the most simple things at the center of the core. yet sometimes the most simple things are overly convoluted by an inability to separate the two. as the basic human needs cannot be met without complex human interactions in the modern age. we barter our trades as […]

the survivors

it was day three of the plague enforced spring break the children with dirty faces and runny noses walked along the empty streets in desperate need for milk and toilet paper the parents sat alone in the dark staring at their phones as another and then another store was ransacked trash swirled in the empty […]

rodent

there was man with the face of a rodent not the actual face of a rodent but similar features to a rodent the mannerisms as well he pushed an ice cream cart up and down the street in the sweltering heat of the summer his nose twitching as he sang nonsense and the little bell […]

a continuing series of ever increasing oddities, part XIX

if a man cries in the forest alone under the baleful glare of the eye of an unfathomable creature manifested in the center of an unworldly spiralling storm does he make a noise does the sudden inexplicable knowledge that there is something more something larger than the menial life spent in mind numbing labor that […]

laid bare across the early morning haze

there is something magical in an overcast day where the sun stares down with a corona of malaise through the misty skies when the words flow like sweet nectar across the honeyed sick of anxiety and woes a time of insipid prose that coats the inside of the manic skull while tapping out meteoric metaphors […]

a continuing series of ever increasing oddities, part XVIII

the thirteen hooded figures choked out the chanting through blood flecked vocal cords from the cave overlooking the now flooded town exhaustion should have pulled each to their knees the painful rasping of their voices should have given out but as surely as a tortoise can fly or a tennis ball can feel freedom or […]

sometimes maybe

sometimes i am thinking so far into the future the present is a blur of external stimuli i tune out sometimes i get so transfixed on the problems of today i forget that the future holds promises as yet unfurled mostly i want to crawl into bed and sleep for roughly a decade wake up […]

a continuing series of ever increasing oddities, part XVI

she shuddered in her blanket coccon not unlike the butterfly earlier but she was not trying to break free no she was burrowing further in as the waves crashed against the buildings around her like rolling thunder down the litter strewn streets she found herself falling deeper and deeper into the spiralling malaise that threatened […]

hidden away

with the constant state of panic sweeping the globe it feels odd not being the only one with crippling anxiety hiding at home but at least for most everyone else it is a temporary thing to me it is the same as breathing this hidden away half baked poet become prototype for sheer terror

fields of saffron

the sun and the cracked ground are the same hazy shade of yellowish brown she stands in the sweltering heat wrapped from head to toe walking down tight rows she plucks the vivid purple flowers with tossing them into the ever filling basket the wind is a blast furnace pressing the loose fabrics tightly against […]

time spent on time

i spent the morning smashing all of the clocks in the house my pastime is staring into time past so keeping an up to date registry on the time i will not consider until it is long over seems prudent i keep the brass gears in a dish trying to fathom the secreta to putting […]

a continuing series of ever increasing oddities, part XV

there was a shifting a low howl that registered just under hearing just above recognition then a sudden surge as the absent minded water came rushing back with a longing for the shore so abrupt it crashed over the sea wall through the crowded streets leaving nothing but rubble in it’s frantic need to return […]

settled

she settled on me when she decided that the car wreck that was her life could use another tragedy to spice things up she settled on me like the tons of snow from an avalanche launched down the side of the mountain after an errant sneeze she settled on the repetition of anger and lust […]

blurry

I was writing a summation about my take on the state of the world. Then after reading it realized it was more the plot to a horror novel. Then after that realization hit, I deleted it and wanted to curl up in bed for the next decade or two. Once the lines have blurred enough […]

genuine

he had spent so long faking his life when the doctor told him he was dying it was a relief all those years of pretending to be someone he was not liking people he could not stand doing things he hated but in that one instance he realized that even if his entire life was […]

dreamspike

close your eyes little one forget the misery that slides across your heart she wore a ribbon in her hair that wiggled through the air like a snake with her every step across the field, her smile threatened to break her face in half, her eyes glittering little stars of the purest blue, taking in […]

simulated

the sun came out today but as it shines down on the land i find myself not in the mood for sunshine or bird song the highways are filled to bursting with carbon copy cutouts of the same basic body style in angry lines with metal cups of coffee clenched in manicured fingers like a […]