suicide is not a coward’s way out. can you call someone that has had enough and is willing to end their life a coward for doing the last act? or call them selfish? the selfish are the ones that remain and cannot accept the loss. we never know what anyone else is dealing with. and […]

the mute dawn spitefully shines down over dissipating apparitions of lost loves hazy recollections sorrowful spirits still seeking to haunt the broken down temple of cardiac disenchantment. nothing more than a desultory approximation hollowed.hallowed a composite primary lesson in decreation of art in the midst of subtle self desecration. deafened under the mute dawn buried […]

alternating between social distortion and kyuss so i cannot tell if i am broken hearted in need of a fix or driving through the desert with a demon in the passenger seat as hell rains down. either way seems alright as the traffic never slows on the concrete arteries feeding the wasteland around me. maybe […]

feel too ugly to write pretty today. the coffee doesn’t work. my head is stuffed with fire ants. the birds are stuck in a constant three note regression. like me. i woke whispered my love to the aether as the sun slept above a blanket of gray. i am tired of feeling so very much […]

gathering up the remains shattered souldander to fill the forge an iron maiden with white hot spikes to cast a less broken image of ache a stained glass persona splitting the light into a paradoxical prism of colors undreamt in shades of heartthistle as the emotional refuse simmers in molten dissonance my mind lingers on […]

he leans against the building unmindful of the rain scowling at the brown grass as he puffs the cigarette and watches his dog scout for the perfect place to shit we are cordial neighborly i don’t know his name or that of his ankle biting yipping little shit machine but i nod to which he […]

i get overstimulated after a podcast my insides are electrified my brain won’t stop screaming anxiety’s (bi)polar opposite unintended consequences in these semi-suicidal tendencies, running full force into self-destruction it is exhausting saying the things out loud i only have to think typically. besides her i don’t like talking to, well, everyone. i go inside […]

the mockingbird has heard me utter her name in sift benediction that i hear it in the causeway cawing it into the howling winds until all i hear is my heart in my head and her glow rattling around my chest cavity of dessicated organic failures crammed tightly into the silver barred birdcage with the […]

glittering diamonds ebon blanket of velvety darkness i cannot tell if it is infinity screaming profanities at me as i smile like a goddamned idiot unfazed unphased unphrased unpoetic just a steaming pile of word vomit on the side of the road leading absolutely fucking nowhere. so much of my day is spent just lost. […]

choking onfreedomsin place ofhaving foodas they taxthe air andthe waterfilling upcoffers ofill gottenricheshastily extractedfrom groundup dreamsthe ashes ofthe middle classtwist in thebreeze as thewhips crackon the bare fleshof the poor.

everything is diffused in gray lending a sort of apocalyptical in the best of purgatorial air to a solemn mourning. the crows have all lined along the roofs of the neighboring buildings to stare baleful disinterest from too intelligent beady black orbs. i whisper my love and zip the hoodie as a chill runs its […]

i close my eyes only to find i am the only thing that vanishes as if i was never truly here unnoticed by the world at large. tearing pieces off my tissue paper soul to flutter in the breeze of apathetic insufficiency a shadow where once a man stood shivering in inconsequentialities. i close my […]

i am fascinated by kashmiri saffron the delicate purple flowers the strands of red the dry lands at the feet of the himalayas the struggles with global warming. whole cultures have been radically altered as the world changes around them for all of our technological leaps we seem to fall farther behind at being human […]

fried.sizzling brainsvacantchoppy wavesslappingmy empty skull.fried. i wrotea novelthat took meto a verydark place. she shinedher lighton me to keep me safe. but itlingersunder myskinetched onmy bones. i cannotfullyshake it. i have been coldfor weeksdeep downmarrow frozenshiveringin theafternoon sun. i amfriedand theentireworldexcept for heris soveryveryugly. just like me.

the power of my glare keeps the ceiling suspended just like my disbelief floating in the air all the hidden scenes interspaces within the textured cage a zygote ensconced in eggshell whimsies am i a realization sorrow in actualization just a mass of tumors twisted around fractured spinally etched columns filled with poisons a cadaverous […]

scientifically straddling subservient and transient (feeble emotive words scr amble to propagate) cracked cobblestones line the bleak murky corridors (calculating eternity usi ng broken hearts as a med ian) beaten down by every soulsputter review glancing deep into infinity eyes laid bare to the triumphant tragedies of interstellar recognizance the cashew is a necessary by-product […]

staring down the barrel of self defeat hating every word that falls from these maggot lips to form frost across the dead embers that settled on the more meaningless parts that make up this petrified tree gnarled branches giving only rotted offerings to the neon wasteland of accrued uglinesses in double helixed atrophy. i turn […]

deep black thrombosis nestled next to fleeting palpations a restriction in the affable trickle constricting the gold from the morning light a parable, a prayer empty words thrown carelessly into the aether in hopes of striking a spark along the indifference of eternal nothingness. the coffee drips as i watch the sun banish the darkness […]

sometimes when i read or see something hopeful i begin to sob not because of the beauty but because it is all so goddamned hopeless when it takes fiction to express it and that feels awfully heavy. it is fucking heavy right now. everything. just so fucking heavy. this too shall pass. i just really […]

what we had the thing that died with barely a twitch just casually slung barbs a poisoned monstrosity mistaken for genuine emotion misplaced mistimed and missing key elements. it was a shambling corpse with a red ribbon tied around its broken neck lingering far longer in agony than in any real sort of emotional stability. […]

i cut myselfdailythe nibof the quillinto my exposedaortato spillmyself outonto the dirtyfloorpooling upin the fibersof the carpetinto anotherimpossibleword jumblemeant to tellher thati love her. more scar tissuethan manmore poetrythan poeticjust a lonelyfool withtoo much timetoo many wordsand not enoughher pressed closewhen the sorrowforces me tocut myself daily.

i woke to a flashing blue light a work email telling me happy anniversary two years with the company in a message from a generic address – human resources at incentive dot com. it is the personal touch that makes me feel valued. i replied with thanks for the email will there be a raise […]

my body a glass jar rattling with pure electric ecstasy every cell screaming in atomic reduction as my every synapse shoots molten death on any hope for quiet. somedays i am just soundwaves vibrating in a frequency undetectable by human ears. unvisible in vibrant shades of falling apart. i am no longer stardust. i am […]

kitten with claws unsheathed stalking shadows in the afternoon sun squirrel on the grass staring at each and every noise with silent trepidation the planes fly high above us with loud rumbling sonic waves as the busy people circle impatiently waiting for one open runway to settle among the kittens and the squirrels under the […]

crawling across shattered remnants of hope praying to appease the angry spirits that do nothing but spit curses while bemoaning just how blatantly unfair the sunrise over the buildings casting golden beams over the forms of dead dreamers and mumbling poets is when witnessed through the lens smudged with ash from smoldering dream. i have […]

i have been shedlike the wispsof dream fromhalf closed eyesleft to floatwith the leavesand childish hopedown the swollengutters filled tonear overflowingwith wasted tears. as it was beforeand on and on intoperpetuity again. the man who pennedall these savageidiocies into theaether was a discardedhermit crab shellcovered in crystalsof salt and flakesof whoever it isyou pretended he […]

there isa holein the center ofmy patchworksoulthat threatensto swallow mewhole. when i wasa kidi would sitin the branchesof an oldoak treeand stare atthe world in wonder. now i sitalonewonderingexactly how longit has beensince anythingmade anysense at all. falling inupon myselftumblingdown down downinto thehole in mypatchwork soulswallowed whole.

i apologizefor notimmediatelydeclaring myabsolutedevotion for notextractingmy dessicatedcardiacindecencyas a tithing but it isn’tmineto givethe one withsunshine in her eyesand wildflowersin her smilehas itsafely heldin herperfection and petty jabsor mean spiritednonsensedoes nothingto change that it isn’tme. it’s you.

he wasa heliumballoonslippingfreefrom thetentativegraspof realityto floatever higherso theinevitablecrashwould bethat much moredevastatingupon hisempty shell.

listening to the rain hit the concrete as the phantom scent of coffee unbrewed lingers in the dark it pitter patters as if any of this really matters an incessant tapping through the haze.

i woke a sheen of sweat clinging to me my heart thundering in my head the hooves of a clydesdale stomping in time to the ever increasing intensity of the pain in forked tongues through my concussive gray matter the claws of the harpies clenched tightly around my throat still clogged with unsaid words. i […]

there is a frighteningparallel tothe times of confuciusand the currentstateof the world. he railed out againstthe crumblingof society as autumnfaded to winterbreakingthe country apart. who speaks now out nowin a worldwhere families are fracturedby false idealspropagatedby unsocial medias. torn apart in the pursuitof beingupstanding to the detrimentof its meaningdeceivingourselves of the truth.

he is a negative inhabiting a positive space inverted so that he can never reflect photons just ever slowly absorb them. he is a negative desolating all positive space monochromatic in a land of technicolor half truths burning to death on a glacier of dream. if he was ever really there at all.

seems to be a rusted coil keeping my light from ever shining or this photo-negative reality absorbs the feeble glow inside i asked the ceiling for answers but like asking god silence reigns so i sit in darkness unsure if any of this is actually occuring at all murmuring my love from the black hole […]

he sits on a row boat immobile upon waves of calcified despondencies a lone albatross circles the frozen sea slowly starving so very far from home. bottles lay discarded on the stony waves missives sent with the best of intent undone by the latency between god’s shadow and heartshiver pleas etched in lonesome sighs.

torn apart by hungry hands seeking succor in the swirling sand i was never going to slay demons or save the day not the prophecized hero or chosen one any royal birthmarks were beaten into a mass of ugly truths the only star that fell on the day of my birth did so out of […]

she gyrated absently around the brass pole as the bass thumped and all i could do was stare at the pitcher of piss yellow just as apathetically bubbling on the table with one short leg that wobbled like the waitress with the fake leg that kept winking at me. we may have been the three […]

amethyst flashes in the once serene small town skies an ink blot pools just beneath the fleshy chunks draped over bone calling out through the tides forced though arterial by ways pushed along the fractured incongruence that makes up his entire state of unbeing. there are creatures in the darkness just beyong the scope of […]

the sky looks like pollock found a surplus of pinks and oranges and in a fit used up each and every last can the world is too still one lone bird repeats a three note refrain staring at the mass of fresh bruises in dayglow aftertones hopefully signaling the end of this entire goddamned world […]

the words are singing loudly yet incoherent the ice cold metal of a straight razor, honed to a near monomolecular edge skipping across goosepimpled flesh the rhythmic slap scratch of a brush on canvas the scratching of graphite the cutting of flesh i cannot see past my self contained torments to decipher the intent today […]

i have become less a man more a slab of meat slow roasting over the perpetual heat of self imposed hellfires depression holds tightly to my less than significant state of being ephemeral mists where a person likely never truly ever existed i scream silently watching as you drive past slowly without a glance phantom […]

brittle.at the edgeof my serene ifeelbroke. yet strangely.complete it is warmunder all theseblanketsyet the comfortersoffer no comfort. the worldis a mazeof amazingnothingnessdappled withshades of longing. i see herin the darkyet i cannottouch her. that is true hell.held beneath the icebrittle.at the edgeof my serene.