sometimes
when i
read or see
something
hopeful
i begin to
sob
not because
of the beauty
but because
it is all
so
goddamned
hopeless
when it
takes fiction
to express it
and that
feels
awfully heavy.

it is fucking
heavy right now.

everything.

just so
fucking
heavy.

this too
shall pass.

i just really
really
need it
to pass
soon.

acceptance
doesn’t equal
it being
okay.

it’s not okay.

and i’m not either.