not i

she ran her fingernails down the brittle glass of my soul because she liked to watch it flake away, the whatever flakes of my being gathering like so much fake snow in the bottom of my snow globe form, she was like a cat and my spine was her scratching post and when she finished […]

(un)titled dreamscape III

i awoke from the darkness into a barren red land, the yellow brown skies like butterscotch each step like a leap of pure joy in the lesser gravity of this foreign landscape red clouds erupt from each bounding step and form dust devils into the emptiness it is freeing, this lack of tether and alien […]

Debonair with Mona

“Good mor… what the fuck are you wearing?” “Excuse me?” “Is that a bowtie?” “Yes.” “And a vest.” “Astute this morning Mona.” “Who died?” “Whatever do you mean?” “I mean, who died? You wear the same five ugly ass shirts that barely qualify as business casual every week.” “No one died.” “Are you up for […]

no one knows

if a poet dies in the woods and no one is around to hear does it reek of desperate longing or just go unnoticed does the world pause in the passing or continue to spin does the universe sigh in relief or in loss of so much potential she stood on the railing if the […]

a dream, reality, a plea, a wish

do you ever dream that you and i lay in bed and drift off to sleep taking comfort together lost in love, in something more this world only takes but i still have more to give in your eyes i see reflections of want and need we could be the stuff of dreams things get […]

apocalyptic daydream

fell in love with armageddon in bright red lip stick apocalypse in a set of heels and a short short skirt she seems to be my end and it never looked so good she has death and desire in equal measure written in her eyes i fell in love with the atom splitting power of […]

(un)titled dreamscape II

out of darkness i awoke into a fog filled alleyway of mossy cobblestones the scent of the city hung heavy in my nose, of refuse and soot, and an underlying scent of copper i stumbled on weary legs down the tight corridor unsure of my destination ahead a scream broke the eerie heavy night and […]

(un)titled dreamscape

out of darkness i awoke in a land of technicolor amazement the field of wildflowers erupted into flight as i approached it carnivorous butterflies of every shade imaginable swarming consumed in a tsunami of color and gently flapping wings into darkness i fell as the teeth of a thousand mouths feast

(un)titled she XIII

she is a tuft of dandelion fluff in the fertile field of my mind drifting and slowly taking over every thought the culmination of years of searching, of dream and failures, of joy and sorrow, summing up all of it, each scar a mark on the road to her she is

archeological losings

minor league archeologist combing through the strata of pain hoping for the find of the century the root of all self hatred he excavated layer after layer with cramped hands bleeding and blistered it bubbles to the surface in waves of radiating sorrow it all seems so abundant, he’s become redundant, just another case of […]

stoic

he sits silently always watching she stays just out of reach how he longs to sit and hold her closely yet it is not meant to be twice every three or so years they embrace in passing but all he can do is give a pale reflection of her light stoically his need is hidden […]

one night standing

she eyed me at the end of the bar one that spoke hunger with a hint of lonely saying mistakes could be made i had the bartender send her another of whatever it was she was drinking she smiled and nodded her thanks ten minutes later we are in the hallway that leads to the […]

The Gambler

“Hello Lurch, is the Lady in tonight?” Of course she was. We both knew it. But protocol dictated a certain decorum when stepping into the darkness of this world of business and demonology. But Lurch, well, he doesn’t care for me. “Ashtray. You look like shit.” My name is not Ashtray. He knows this. It […]

onetwothreefourfive

onetwothreefourfive onetwothreefourfive straighten the paper cap on the pen have to go outside knock three times on the door touch the frame doesn’t feel right onetwothreefourfive onetwothreefourfive knock three times touch the frame better watch the ground step on a crack break your good luck streak too many fractures cross the road black car blue […]

unfinity

sipping wine from the bottom of the barrel red lips and unfocused eyes antifreeze and failing kidneys wobbly like a cowboy fresh from the dusty trail got an itchy trigger finger a pocket full of dollars and a need to wash the dirt from every crevice cracking my facade haven’t been on a horse for […]

to billy

how i miss you my friend, the way your temper fired my own, the taste of beer and cigarettes as we wiled away another night with no future planned and yesterday another punchline do you remember those nights when we just drove and drove how we never made it anywhere yet the miles clicked on […]

noah’s canoe

sorrow is a cardinal perched on the branches of my heart joy the petals of a lily buried in the snow love is an ostrich with it’s head buried in the sand and madness is a lion stalking in the tall tall grass hope is a mosquito buzzing ’round my ear fear is a tick […]

(un)titled she XII

she is the comfortable feel of the blade in hand, equal parts promise of protection and harbringer of pain everything i’ve ever dreamt yet more than i could possibly imagine and impossible to ever hold she is

1158

an empty promise made from gently lying lips given too freely no will to fulfill the words whisper worthless thoughtless odes

sodden denials

how long has it been since i’ve seen the sun is it weeks now the sky opened and let loose the rains and i cannot tell any longer if it is a reflection of me or if i am a reflection of it when was the last time any of this felt worth it that […]

impoverished

suffering a deficit of fundamental necessity hollow raised to expect nothing to desire nothing i’m a scarecrow watching the barren fields crows perched on my shoulders ignoring my basic functions in favor of a clearer view to tomorrow i sip from a flask of distilled spirit listless going through the emotions of the day has […]

dejected

feel dejected, rejected, ejected from this world of promise left to rot on the side of the road deplorable, ignorable it is fair to think that no one cares when you spill your guts and even the fat flies don’t swarm nor feast not up to preening, posturing, or begging to come to view just […]

why aren’t you pissed

why aren’t we pissed off at the state of the world like we should be seriously the doomsday clock ticks closer to the point of no return the oceans are warming and clogged with plastics and poisons the ozone still isn’t repaired animals birds plants and insects go extinct at a rate of one hundred […]

slow dance

the room was on fire the flames consumed all racing up the curtains embers blew in the smokey haze on now visible currents yet in the center of the room immune to the heat and falling rafters we danced cheek to cheek to the crackling timbers as the blaze took the piano in the corner, […]

simply complicated

he was the product of an inaccurate conception, immaculate in the sheer accidental nature of his being are there mistakes in this chaos inherent in every atom, or byproducts of grand design flaws residual remnants of primordial ooze that seeps from his every pore born in the footsteps of giants and left to flounder in […]

autumn falls

the leaves fell like pieces of time across the still damp sidewalk gently falling reminders of the world still turning the now naked branches rattling in the wind skeletal hands reaching out once vibrant now gray with longing the verdant sky gone amber then bare now a desolate memory of what was once and will […]

empty shoe boxes, empty promises

how many pairs of shoes have been worn to nothing in my constant pursuit of escapism buy them by the dozen mastered the art of changing mid step nothing better than fresh kicks before being kicked to the curb vans and doc’s left on the side of the road like so many lost chances follow […]

(un)titled she X

she is the final blossom in the bouquet that blooms as the others wilt around her a half remembered dream that stays in your mind the entire day teasing at the edges of thought she is

“EELS – There I Said It”

no better way to express it if you want to be in the poet illiterate’s shoes for a moment understand why he doesn’t sleep this song on repeat in his empty head the fool lies and sings it to the ceiling when he should be resting the purity cuts into his being and rips him […]

insomnia for starters

a crash course in staying awake long after your body says sleep be insane depressed turn off the lights and let your brain go wild have you seen that face in the ceiling this week, no, well we’re not sleeping til we do ever experience bouts of deep seated longing for something anything having thoughts […]

colorless

went down to the lake to watch the waves today the stormy skies mirrored the ashen waves it became disorienting trying to separate the gray above from the gray below did the rain fall or rise it seemed impossible to say equal parts my mind and my heart, both with an indelible ache, both turmoil […]

the between

i relish in your silence, in your quiet moments, your doubts and fears manifest, those times between thoughts and words when you just exist as my only thought is to take you in my arms, to soothe the solemn hurt in your fractured soul yet it is not for me to do so instead i […]

just words

i write about the things that don’t exist, the things i wish existed, the thoughts i never share of love and she and gods and dreams and life to be lived and words meant to be given but they are not love poems they are missives sent to the vacant sky above in hopes when […]

round hearts

the feel of low gravity against an earthbound brain is disorienting to say the least everything works the same except that it doesn’t zero gravity is worse and worsening still the crystals suspended in liquid in the inner ear get all kinds of loopy don’t know if you’re coming and going as you spin in […]

Valleys with Mona

“Good Morning.” “Uh huh.” “How many days has it been?” “Since what?” “You’ve slept.” “Three.” “At this point the debilitating effects of sleep deprivation start.” “Yay?” “Not yay. Are you still sick?” “Sort of.” “Sort of?” “Nah. I’m good.” “Which is it?” “Which is what?” “Are you sick or better.” “Yes.” “Asshole. I care. Lord […]

“Lost Out in the Darkness” and haikus

some words mean a lot some of them don’t mean nothing i tend to use both kinds i paint with the one and i live by the other you pick which is which but know this one thing i try to never tell lies truth is beautiful so when i look up and tell you […]

ripe with meaning

the first night she stayed the night, we laid together, my arms wrapped around her, her hair in my face, her breast in my hand all felt right in the world and as she drifted to sleep, scooting closer though there was no more closeness to be found between our naked forms she murmured softly […]

(un)titled she IX

she is that moment when afternoon skies grow purple and clouds ignite pink on the horizon of the setting sun the occasional bitter bite of kale that reminds you perfection is only perfect for the inherent flaws within she is

new constellations

do you remember staring at the stars that night lying on the hood of the car, still warm as the chill air surrounded us watching our breath blow clouds into the sky orion’s belt seemed cocked at a funny angle and we laughed that could have been around his feet as lupus and lepus pranced […]

sermon of sin

she was a vision in revisionist history, hysterically visionary in the way a vice vanquishes virtue, a shimmering sign of holy power and brought the good book to life hard the hairy angles swing, glory to this sweet, sweet thing brothers and blisters, let us bluster and prey upon the deaf, dumb and blind bindings […]

whatever it is

he starts the car, turns the stereo up too loud for the early morning, puts it into gear and heads down the road with no destination consciously in mind one day he will find that which he searches for, even if he doesn’t know quite what that is, the specificity is secondary to the road […]

street art(ificial)

he stood still, trying to define the walls of the latest box he found himself trapped in, walking into a wind that isn’t blowing, tugging on a rope that slides through his grip, his painted smile at odds with the pain in his eyes, beret jauntily perched on his head, onlookers just stood and watched […]

(un)titled she VIII

she is a flyer for salvation caught on the breeze and blown through the alleys of a dirty city the sad smile that knows a secret that could change everything but is sworn to silence she is

resplendent emptiness

staring at the world through the filtered lens of the abyss, an ever spinning counter clockwise void of nothing with a shimmering black center unaware the ground beneath is slowly consumed by the unrelenting hunger, standing with locked knees and vacant adoration slipping, slipping into the end, is it falling if there is no sense […]

quiet the fool

he acts so tough but i watched him weep as she sang, after when she came out in her black dress looking so grown, he wept as he held her the poor illiterate fool he wonders why he is alone without seeing he is his own worst enemy so sentimental, just an open book no […]

rain on the windshield

this tenuous blob of sorrow hangs from the back of his throat like a secondary uvula wretched fool wallowing in a pool of his own traffic jammed insidiousness the black streaks down his face mirror the immaculate filthiness of his tattered soul he is playing with fire yet fearing the dark of his own troubled […]

(un)titled she VII

she is the blinking lights from staring too intently at the noon day sun that flicker at the edge of vision the wispy halo around the full moon on an autumn night just before the first snow falls she is

color on the bayou

my sleep was filled with hanging moss and willows weeping into the lazy river winding in the back it was a black and white southern gothic syrupy accents and barely concealed tension behind an affluence of manners biting sarcasm you were there you and i were the only ones without accents, the only ones that […]

(un)titled she VI

she is fine grit sandpaper slowly smoothing out the jagged scars left by former egregious flames the taste of coffee upon a still half asleep tongue rich with the promise of a new day she is

Manic with Mona

“Hello?” “Hey Mona.” “What?” “What what?” “Why are you calling me at this hour?” “What hour is it?” “Three in the morning.” “Oh shit. How the hell did it get so late?” “Are you drunk?” “Are you drunk?” “I was asleep.” “Well that just seems like an acceptable act at three in the morning.” “What […]

a warning

having trouble catching the air, like breathing under water feel so cold even as the fever flares If this is the end let it come, i’m ready so tired of feeling this way and ready for a fight bring your pale horse you rotten bastard, i’ll feed it apples til it chokes your scythe means […]

“Eels – Fresh Feeling” and tanka

the silence beats down watching the ceiling again at a loss for words the sadness seems to be all in a solo frame of mind souljacker up loud looking for answers to life the question seem moot but just once i’d like to hear some reasonable reply born and die alone moving slowly between them […]

a final wish

she knelt on the steps of the pagoda cherry blossoms filled the air around her the wind whistled through the bamboo and the cicadas sang a solemn song of loss and from the hills came the roar of the great beast the sky itself began to burn the doctor cancelled the surgery scheduled an appointment […]

oh well

is this heaven or hell, i can’t tell the difference that well, kneeling before the throne in supplication, or in a pit of flesh eating ants sing a song of six pence, a pocket full of lies, until the best parts of this child atrophy and die i sit on the wall awaiting the fall […]

she flows

she’s summer i’m winter she’s water i’m oil she’s beauty i’m scarred she’s courage i’m scared together we could be something new something stronger stranger better more she’s spring i’m autumn she’s perfect i’m flawed she’s scripture i’m fiction she’s poetry written by a master’s pen i love her she’s etched in my soul carved […]

the spider

he kept meticulous notes in the small black book in his jacket pocket, written in code only he knew the cipher to to the normal person it would seem random dots and squiggles but to him it was the key to everything the secrets of the universe, of god, of man and of terrible hunger […]

(un)titled she V

she is the answer to the question that sits on the edge of your frontal lobe but never forms an art exhibit of images that project onto the blank canvas of your heart and soul she is

fevered appeals

i cannot see, this fallacy, this faded sea, this infancy sadness, madness, sorrowful morose, singular, modular, scented malaise shake the plastic eight ball and show me my future, all of my answers hidden in the murky blue depths all signs point to the emptiness the uncertain certainty of cerulean cynicism sinking softly into saline daydreams […]

(meta)phorically (spoken version)

when i opened myself to her my guts came out like writhing vipers that hissed and snapped at the autumn air in angry knots my bones like broken glass held together by rusted barb wire and muscles like slugs perch upon the slick ivory calcified remains when i told her i loved her she recoiled […]

(un)titled she IV

she is the ferocity of the storm wrapped in the comfort of a home you have only dreamt of the curvature of the horizon, so tantalizingly within sight but always just out reach she is

trails in glass

is he crying, choking on the words of sorrow, lost in reverie do they run down his cheek as he stares at the storm, unseeing the loss, trapped in himself, wishing it could all be different no, it is the reflection of the rain on the glass on his face it seems nothing more than […]

color blind

the colors seem to bleed off of the page, pooling onto the floor and forming an ink blotch as i stare at the stain it morphs and shifts nothing matters in the black oblivion and i feel myself sliding down into it a free fall into a shimmering lake of mercury that coalesces and forms […]

lethologica

lethologica and fregoli delusion settle in every face is the same no names endless crowds of strangers in a room full of friends i’ve said certain words so many times semantic satiation has set in the neural pathways have been burned from my mind so if i look you in the eyes and have no […]

(meta)phorically

when i opened myself to her my guts came out like writhing vipers that hissed and snapped at the autumn air in angry knots my bones like broken glass held together by rusted barb wire and muscles like slugs perch upon the slick ivory calcified remains when i told her i loved her she recoiled […]

back home

they said there was snow back home today how i long for those swollen gray clouds and the soft flakes to fall upon my upturned face it is raining here today far from frozen wonderlands and left dreary and sad no slush upon my shoes no frost upon my beard just the haze of misty […]

woke up to sullen skies

it was too early to be so angry the cars sat parked on the highway angry faces glared into mirrors at angry faces staring back somewhere ahead angry men shouted at angry men and held up the whole works the angry wail of sirens filled the unmoving roads soon angry men in uniforms would make […]

science of magic

she sat and stared out the window watching the people on the street her finger idly stirred the ice in her drink as she bit her lip schopenhauer described her best at first i refused to admit she existed, when i found her i was petrified to approach, now i calmly accept her as fact […]

(un)titled she III

she is the full moon at midnight singing a mesmerizing soliloquy into my soul across the sea the scent of lilacs on a warm summer breeze teasing the coming day filled with promise she is

asked for a sign, got a broken bottle of hot sauce instead

feverish need for coffee, freezing and desperate for relief stumble half drunken sober steps shaking from waves of sickness fresh filter, run water, got grounds, doing fine sprinkle cinnamon, hint of vanilla, dash of salt, let’s percolate clumsy elbow, paying no attention, hear the shatter dismay bottle of hot sauce across linoleum, an ocean of […]

(un)titled she II

she is a shadow cast during an eclipse, the penumbra causing her image to flicker with frantic light distortion an ultra high definition image of sublime beauty in a cathode ray tube black and white world she is

she paints

she peeled strips of flesh off of my chest and drew in my blood on the sheets we lie upon sketching vistas of pain and pleasure upon the egyptian cotton as i tremble in rapture she picks apart my failings with a practiced hand and finds beauty in my hidden parts my body is her […]

Black and Blue and Mona

“Good morning. Oh. What the fuck happened to your face?” “Is it noticeable?” “You have a black eye and your lips is swollen. It is slightly noticeable.” “There was an altercation.” “Tell me the other guy looks worse than you.” “No.” “No? You didn’t fight back?” “No.” “What happened?” “Do you remember the girl from […]

a man

he is a man and all that means he is confused comes out fists swinging emotionally stunted he doesn’t cry he doesn’t show pain he is the rock he is a tornado a force of destruction he is a man and all that means he is bile he is hate he is anger raining down […]

needles and need

i don’t much care for needles, but i would let you inject yourself into my vein and travel throughout my body just to feel you in my blood as it pounds against my head, to know that in that rhythm you played along and sang i don’t think about the needle when the nurse jams […]

cette méchante douleur coule à travers moi

no fake smile today, no pretending it doesn’t hurt, that it is not falling to pieces reserving the right to write the truth, when truthfully the lies come easier less poetic to usher in the fall less romantic to curl up in a ball but jagged aches are all a part of the process, and […]

rejection letter

oh the sting, the venomous stinger in which the words inject poison into an already poisonous vein not a good fit, not the right theme, the words of your soul did not shine the right way, did not convey but please try again spit more of your lack of talent into space, bare yourself to […]

Mona’s Disappointed

“—” “Um. Mona.” “What.” “Good morning.” “I’m mad at you.” “For what?” “What was the rule?” “Don’t sleep with Mona’s friends.” “Why was that a rule?” “They are vampires and will suck the life out of me.” “And what did you do?” “Not slept with Mona’s friends.” “No. You did worse.” “I didn’t do anything.” […]

lilies

she dumped his body in a shallow grave, next to the tree where he first proposed, a bunch of sticks to mark his place, down where the lilies grow it was her fault that he wound up dead, with some help from her hatchet, perhaps she didn’t mean to strike him down, but his back […]

dear whoever

hello been a while since i wrote a letter, so bear with me as i remember the curves and diction necessary to form the phrases of conversation hope things are good for you, that your dreams and wants are exceeded by a bountiful harvest of joy that when you wake to the kiss of golden […]

drag my body

drag my body to the river let it float out towards the sea drag my body to the river don’t shed a tear for me wrap my heart with barbed wire, broken fingers from too many fights, chewed glass every morning, drank gasoline on sleepless nights i didn’t go looking for trouble, but it followed […]

like insomnia

hold me like insomnia, love me like depression, fill the empty half of the bed i can never quite lay in for fear of crushing your memory, in memorial of what slipped like grains of sand through the hourglass shape of you in my mind wrap your arms around me like pain, paint my skin […]

saint of sinners and broken hearts

i was born on all saint’s day, but was supposed to have been here to celebrate a fool getting lost, guess this fool got lost as well and this may have set his course for a life of misread maps and faulty compass distinction born to be a fighter, spent the first ten years learning […]

fall heavy

it’s raining thunder rumbles outside and i sit with coffee and stare at it my mind sees none of it though inside i toil along with the raging storms a hurricane of my own brain lightning flashes leaving a purple after glow and still my eyes see nothing the coffee grows cold in the mug […]

tomorrow, probably

today’s the day i tell myself, gonna write that poem that sets hearts on fire, minds ablaze just need to sit down and let the images flow after coffee now to just let the words pour out maybe eat lunch well, now i’m awfully full and the words prefer a little hunger so i’ll take […]

one thing

every morning i hear her outside talking on the phone as her little dog sniffs and pisses on everything she complains endlessly about how all men are pigs and only are after one thing she moved in three months ago above me the little dog runs back and forth, nails skipping and scraping across the […]

Tendencies with Mona

“Good morning.” “Seven.” “Seven what?” “Assholes cut me off this morning.” “And you lost all trace of common courtesy?” “I don’t know if I had the slightest trace to begin with. Is that like con science?” “Con science? What the fuck it that?” “Hell if I know. That thing that makes you feel bad for […]

shine so brightly

you shine so brightly, a flickering flame in the darkness of the world i dance in shadow, drawn to the fires that will surely burn me to ash a moth to your flame, a human projectile destined to explode with your touch can’t you hear my begging, open a window and let me dart about […]

she, she, she

it’s not often the words fail me, not often i’m left without something to say, they flee my head and scamper off but nothing clever comes to mind, no flowery phrase finds blossom upon my tongue and spreads it’s pollen down the page she sends a flurry of electrical impulses down my every nerve, lights […]

rearranged

mountains don’t rise until after the earthquake, the caves don’t form without the stream glaciers carved the plains into valleys, the volcanos created the islands of paradise every crag so painstakingly accidentally created, random works of wonder what will happen to me now that i have discovered you, what new piece will be formed, be […]

a quick job

she smiled at me and kissed me hard on the lips, i wanted more but she pushed me back and laughed, a promise of more after she pulled her back into a pony tail and winked at me, that mischievous smile that made me fall in love with her in the first place then we […]

still renderings of inadequate art

cerulean skies and warm beams of golden light to bask in, the rustle of leaves on threadbare trees, the squirrels search for hidden spoils unspoiled by the touch of man seeking solace from this wracking cough, this somber sickness that infuses and drains, the scratching of pencil on the pad and furious erasing of another […]

1082

i entered the club with a secret knock on the bannister in the hall, shave and a haircut the dour hatchet faced man that stood like a pile of stones stared at me as i passed him i nodded and went to the bar, the girl behind smiled at me and got my order without […]

flying

skimming the tops of the clouds during early morning flight, naked and glittering with moisture, the occasional ray of light sending spots across vision it’s a dream, must be, the blanket is off, the fan is blowing, laying in superman flight and skating the tender blue above and fat gray promises of rain just below […]

barrier

il n’a pas la volonté de parler, alors il regarde la fenêtre seul en silence son âme fait mal pour elle, elle es son tout, mais il ne peut pas lui dire ce qu’il ressent perhaps a different tongue, another language will allow the words to spill fully formed from his mouth je taime mon […]