i am the drowned king of a broken kingdom filled with empty gestures fevered dedications painstakingly recreated carved in marble epitaphs for those long dead but never ever forgotten hail hail the drowned king in his kingdom of darkness sitting atop a throne of mummified hearts supping upon the salty tears of lost hopes tossed […]
the leaves were the color of a freshly newborn child, that purplish red of a soon to be bruise. the sunlight filtered down and danced upon the ground. a slight breeze tried to blow from the north but sputtered before accomplishing much. i sat with my back against the tree, wondering how it all came […]
woke up in suddenly freezing abode after nearly eleven hours of fighting dreams, nearly mummified in twisted blankets my knuckles are sore, cracked and bleeding, my muscles are screaming, my voice has gone hoarse from screaming for you there is pomegranate juice spread across my chest, sticky and sweet smelling, the black grit of crawling […]
orange and black koi dart across the shadow dappled pond feast and fuck no thought no sense i feel envious stress overthinking i wonder how… no it is serene in the yin yang pool the water flows gently over the dark black stones bamboo a dragonfly flits between the petals of the yunzhu flowers the […]
i need a nap a warm body to lie next to someone to wake up with someone to love accepting applications email is in my contact yes the door is unlocked
i cannot give you a portion of who i am as we set forth upon these turbulent waves there is no part of me sequestered away if you cannot handle everything good bad indifferent the spectre of forever plays heartily in every subtle movement like a catfish settled into the sediment of the river bottom […]
i’ve given up on you on me on us this old dog learned one new trick how to bury a dream the world was once all colorful and bright now it is a black and white shit show fuck me for dreaming
he stared at his face in the pool of water under the bridge wondering where the young man that used to watch him back went to the one with hopes and dreams the one that searched tirelessly for his missing pieces he had settled into the broken found himself in the loss but he didn’t […]
she might not have been the One but she was the one my heart was set upon a simple stroke of the shift key maybe life would have turned out differently the ceiling looks lovely tonight nary a hope left in the darkness
Been staring at the ceiling for two hours. This has been stuck in my head. Happy Valentine’s Day.
i hope he made you feel special today, gave you a massage, told you how beautiful you look, made it clear to the world that perfection begins and ends with your smiling face i hope he kissed you until you couldn’t breathe, made your toes curl, made you cum twenty times until you could barely […]
i fell into my head today and ignored the world outside i fell into my head today because all i wanted was to fall into you i fell into my head today and screamed as the walls closed in i fell into my head because i fell in love knowing it wasn’t mine i fell […]
i got a text from eris today the goddess of dischord she was checking in to see how i was doing i had asked for a sign from whichever pantheon was looking over me it makes sense chaos and dischord would be the ones her golden apple has always been special ever since reading robert […]
anxiety filled heart pounding against my ribs mind racing like mad cannot take another day lost in the depths of sorrow
i have spent hours reading my own words was asked for a manuscript filled with my writing for a book of poetry my goddess there is only so much of myself i can handle after a month and a half of insipid lines i may finally snap why do i continue after all of this […]
took a long walk this morning headphones in music blaring echoing in my skull cars racing past i pondered my bricklaying ability did i build a high enough wall around the disappointment the lack of anything to keep the loneliness at bay these hands aren’t those of a craftsman no master not in matters of […]
she carved her initials across my brachial plexus so every movement screamed her name seventy millivolts firing her after image flashes i find myself flexing just to see her face
there was a trail of discarded clothing down the hallway torn and rapidly discarded like a hurricane had blown through a bra hung off the door knob boxers here lace lined panties there a button down shirt sans buttons following the trail of destruction led to an open door muffled moans in quiet night a […]
it begins with the tinkling keys of a piano softly playing in a smoke filled room her heels clicking across the hardwood floors, the swish of her dress in time with the sway of her hips * he eyes the glass in front of him, runs his finger around the rim of it absently a […]
i don’t celebrate valentine’s day but i would if you were mine i would buy you a stuffed animal spray it with my cologne so when we are apart it is like i am there everyday would be valentine’s day i already write poems for you just imagine if i could make them come true […]
we, she and i, speak together like two oak trees, serene, sharing a root system that spreads across the land and time she tells me the truth, unveils the things hidden from my eyes, rattles off mysteries like the voice of delphi from the depths but she is built upon a bed of diamond, beautiful […]
she asked me to take her to the moon for a picnic i thought about it long and hard it wasn’t difficult to set up the shuttle ride i packed a blanket and some food we held hands as the rocket shuddered and shook earth fell away like a blue marble beneath us when we […]
twisted into a parody of hr geiger’s nightmare, sexual and dripping malice in scream inducing frozen moments of pleasure and pain my flesh crawls as the muscles in my legs cramp in time to the fight or flight gag reflex that consumes me in this overbearing silence veins stand against too thin skin like worms […]
the shadows play across the ceiling as i spend night whatever in a row unable to sleep even as my vision grows blurry this pounding in my skull is a nonrefundable debt to the universe for services not yet rendered have you ever felt like maybe it was the end of the world and that […]
the creak of the chair as the coffee pot spits hot water across the grounds cinnamon fills the air as the birds wake up in the bush right outside the window soon the little bastards will be singing some vapid ode to seed and berry and yarn and stick happily chirping as if the world […]
fear knots my guts terror stricken cold sweat shaking knees * voices in the darkness * she tied a string around my finger a reminder of what is unclear * i remember dying agony convulsing bleeding out on the cold tile of the kitchen floor * there was no bright light no choir of angels […]
i am clueless when it comes to the opposite sex i don’t know how to play games i don’t assume so unless things are spelled out for me i don’t know what is happening this is why i will die alone
i am a man of my word but that word is loneliness i built you a castle with my bare hands ignore the fact that it is made out of sand slowly falling apart in the rising tides my last home was a house of cards but without you it was a queen of hearts […]
her touch was like sunlight through the blinds, after a month of rain the rains have passed, finally, the clouds have taken leave of their claustrophobic grasp upon the land, azure fills in this sudden absence of gray her absence is like hoarfrost on my heart, a coating of ice so pure and biting the […]
he spun words into silk for her to drape across her body, he had nothing more to offer her, alas, the words would never be enough there was always someone better, more deft at weaving, more able at stringing turns of phrase into works of art she deserves so the fool did one last act […]
she has read my entire story, thumbed my pages while writing thoughts into the margins, trying to highlight the underdeveloped good points the spine is cracked on this tale of woe, it is a story old as time, boy is born, is beaten, is broken, is left to his own literary devices as he stumbles […]
swimming through an ocean of glass in search of the octopus garden darkness closes in, crushing me in the depths of frigid water, what lurks beneath the light line jellyfish bob listlessly tendrils float small silver streaks dart about pull me deeper, drown me in your embrace, free me from these feelings of inadequacy, i […]
she was the raven circling over my head, the shadow on my heart in the x-ray, the thought that kept sleep at bay, the racing in my pulse it isn’t the voltage that kills you it is the amperage, the arrhythmia translucent in her eyes how many nights did i long to hear her voice, […]
i can feel the half moons of blood well up on my palms as my oversharp fingernails cut into them shaking fists and throbbing temples is it frustration or simple contemplation, a restoration, an emancipation, a declaration of love that will never be love is a broken boomerang i continue to throw hoping one day […]
dust devils along the gravel road the sunshine filters into raging grit demons inner and without lashing out into the pale wan light * surreptitious serendipity saline cognition mathematically misused tenderly torn in two x and y harbor hidden doubts that z is planely oblivious * rattling bones hung from the dipping branches of the […]
if you are going to love someone make it a paleontologist someone that is willing to sift through the dirt and strata to find the skeleton hidden away to take the time to clean the remains rebuild a stable structure with nuts and bolts long after it has all fallen apart don’t fall in love […]
woke up to an alert got excited a new message hoping it was a dream but life prefers to spit out nightmares i know this deep down that hope is a chemical spray a deterrent a crux in which to hang oneself so when it was the face of a former flame staring at me […]
nothing that is here now was before and most likely won’t be in the future everything is temporary even my love for you will one day be dust and etchings on the ivory bones of my remains
Balcones Fault i’ve left my heart and soul scattered along i-35 from dallas to del rio shattered like the tectonic shifts as my emotional stability was fracked in hopes of mining precious commodities * Fractured you opened things inside of me made me think there was a chance at something more but it was me […]
i read dickinson for the first time today see i don’t really like poetry i don’t understand it the hidden messages the undercurrent the metaphors all beyond my feeble grasp see i am not looking for the secrets of the universe hidden in prose scribbled notes on where it all went wrong no that is […]
crystal chandeliers cast shadows of sparkling diamonds across the faded wood floor how our feet shuffled gracefully to the song that played when our hearts were one your hair like shimmering strands of spun gold as i twirled you in front of me your cheeks flushed as i dipped you ever so low and how […]
Another wistful song of longing, on repeat in my head since i quit pretending to try and sleep.
it has rained for two days straight it seems to have been enough to finally rinse your scent from my nose no more baying after you chasing after what doesn’t want to be caught the hunt is over might as well try and catch ghosts as pursue something that was never there except in dreams
there is a maze in my skull get lost with me mitochondria make my cells continue on continue on how long have i hugged the edges of the whirlpool seeking the center infinity at the center of her eye calm in a turbulent safe zone left left right the ball of yarn loosely spread out […]
(january) an ex was born this month, a mistake that led to two perfectly carved diamonds frozen broken huddled in a ball ripped and torn spikes of ice ragged wounds crimson ice (february) my father was born this month, flawed and brilliant, my hero despite my own actions shortness of breath wheezing spots in my […]
i won’t say the words that swell inside of me out loud not to have them fall upon deaf ears they have lost meaning i will try not to think them not to feel them grow inside of me until i feel i will burst if i could i would cut the part of myself […]
(september) this is typically when the rains begin again, when the thirsty soil turns vibrant again, reborn to die confusion refusal self destruction with no understanding this life is a break between infinities (october) laughter fills the night, the crinkle of plastic costumes, faces painted like the visage of death burning leaves the icy chill […]
(may) too many lost loves, one born and buried in the now muddy ground of these thirty one flavors of hell the green slowly takes the brown the allergies soon take over the ability to breathe beautiful to itchy eyes (june) the freedom of warm winds, of oiled bike chains, stolen kisses in the dead […]
sorrow etched his face much like hard work callused his hands it was a part of him a defining trait like hazel eyes or a receding hairline he owned it his smile never reached his eyes carried that tinge of bitterness sarcasm flavored his speech self doubt was his cologne of choice it wasn’t his […]
i was standing in a thunderstorm, watching the lightning play across the sky, the purple after images burned into my retinas rain running down my head and into my eyes, the crash of thunder palpable, my heart racing with every flash of voltage the smell of ozone burning mixed with that fresh rain scent, masking […]
let’s lie upon the river bank beneath the shady tree let’s watch the clouds meander slowly overhead your head next to mine my mouth eagerly awaiting the taste of wine stained lips the tall grass tickles as i absently stroke your skin a feather touch chills across your body or maybe instead we can just […]
(january) an ex was born this month, a mistake that led to two perfectly carved diamonds frozen broken huddled in a ball ripped and torn spikes of ice ragged wounds crimson ice (february) my father was born this month, flawed and brilliant, my hero despite my own actions shortness of breath wheezing spots in my […]
now attempting system override //cmd: run will to live protocol error: system incapable of processing request contact admin if issue persists now commencing shutdown of all non-essential functions love hope dream will happiness motor control initiate final solution hard drive deletion imminent commence cessation of all systems user profile erased from mainframe compete systemic failure […]
alone bloody knuckles from striking the wall this ache it tears at my insides like barb wire a need for more in a world that only knows how to take it is all too much to take to process to handle to make sense of alone with thoughts that no one should have this fire […]
i asked her did it hurt when you fell? and she gave me a grin replied from heaven? thinking she had heard this one before it was my turn to grin back no, from the pedestal i had placed you on, high above every other her face crumbled like the foundation of respect i had […]
when i tell you that you are beautiful i don’t want you to misunderstand what i am trying to say it isn’t a line or me trying to be slick when i say you are the most beautiful woman i have ever seen i mean that because my feelings for you and that magnificence you […]
i danced with a ghost tonight she had a famliar smile sad eyes that spoke volumes she stood awkwardly with a silent question on her face i stared back confused she nodded to my phone more, i guessed to the music it was playing hesitantly i turned it up she stared expectantly i bowed to […]
she came to me again last night i felt a chill travel down my spine when i looked out the window i saw her misty beautiful yet just out of focus staring back sadly at me a smile of infinite sorrow traced across her face i felt my heart break my vision blurred when i […]
i am my own therapist i over charge over analyze over compensate for the things that are broken inside my therapist says i have unresolved issues from my childhood my therapist says i have not been the same since my dad died my therapist says a lot of things but i choose to ignore him […]
i won’t beg unless that’s your thing i won’t say i can do things no one else ever has to you but you will be hard pressed to remember anyone that did it half as well you might beg a little it might be something i like you’ll know my hands better than your own […]
she was the first and only woman to break my heart twice to have two albums associated with agony to be allowed to walk barefoot across my arterial highway with that devilish grin as i begged for more she could strut cock her head make me follow i was a lemming willing to charge blind […]
the face of the clock is a doorway while time only goes one way the hands reflect the past how much of the flow is wasted trying to swim against the tide
1) it started with a smile. that’s all. a simple smile across the crowded room. like a neutron bomb rippling across my consciousness. 2) it ended with a smile. that’s all. a simple smile across an empty room. like a shattering of glass that was my entire being. 3) how many smiles between? how many […]
this is not a love story not another desperate plea for acceptance not me opening my heart to another empty room the beat of the dessication in time with the ebbing silence unseen unheard uncaring this is my love turning into a cicada burying itself in the cold soil for seven years awakening to find […]
how many times did i stare at the faded photograph memorizing the faces trying to recall what it looked like the colors not washed out the scents the feel if i heard the voices today i wouldn’t recognize them i fear they would be as strangers to my ears that hurts a deep down pain […]
Hello my dear friends and readers. It’s late and even though it has been days since I have slept I am wired as can be. Blame it on mania or just old fashioned excitement. I did the podcast this evening. It was a blast. Very inappropriate. Not family friendly in the slightest but we all […]
use my bloated corpse as a boat to traverse these moss choked waterways let me do that much for you one last bold sacrifice in a long string of meaningless gestures god knows in life i did nothing worthy of your attention deficit just dug deeper into anonymity a burr inside your wet socks at […]
the shelves are lined with someone else’s odes to a her i have never seen not imagined in a way that brings her smile to life the twinkle of mirth in her eye the soft emotion in her voice the bookshelves in my mind are a different tale altogether they sing with her laughter exude […]
a flower blossoms in utter silence love dies much the same so i scream hoping to never fade away
it is too quiet too empty too lonely today this afternoon has been dreams of naps of need a lacking a failing a burning my soul aches love is a pyramid scheme the question is how to stack the blocks
due to rampant insomnia your regularly scheduled onslaught of poetic nonsense has been discontinued the words have chosen to silence themselves the longing and depression however continue unabated as always just wrapped in a cocoon of indifference it has been days since sleep has tapped tapped upon the fool instead please enjoy the timeless classics […]
a hot house in the frozen land/moisture dripping down the window pane/interior/exterior/ice crystals blossom/tracing along expanding lumber/a lone cry in the haunted night/loss/pervasive/never knowing solace/fallen stars find shelter/drifting sullenly/ through shards of memory sparse vacant longing
in the briefest respite between crashing night/breaking dawn far beneath the ever vapid holding her hand was like grasping the wind;ever swirling;tantalizing in effervescent whirls and whorls;her finger prints etched deep into the soul of the earth solar radiation in lapping waves in the briefest respite between setting sun/encroaching night
we spent most of our lives apart so when we finally found each other we made every single second count we made up for lost time by loving each other as fully as possible for the remaining time we had her time just didn’t last as long as mine
she played me like a violin. but she had me on our third date. i played hard to get. or so i thought. on the second date i held my own. it was her smile on the third that told me i was done for. she could have had me on the second. my tough […]
my cologne is eau de whiskey and percocet i tied the noose around my own throat but your whispered words were the rope i hear the ice clink in the glass of your abject disinterest so i wobble back and forth on the dotted yellow line playing chicken with truck drivers and blindfolded emotional investment […]
on the long walk back across uneven ground nary a sidewalk in sight i saw a field of clover with a wish that maybe my luck could do with some bolstering i gave in to superstition just a precursory glance maybe four leaves would save the day a glance turned into looking turned into searching […]
This album is the best Prince inspired set of songs. Got me through the couple mile trek to my interview. Now sipping tea and patiently waiting with it on repeat. Wish you were here.
i can stare across the chasm of where i am and where i wish i was the small blurry figure that represents all the wrong choices all the wrong obsessions the lies the tales told the drinks i drank the drugs consumed yet as i raise my hand to wave the figure does as well […]
her lips were painted a shade of pink i couldn’t quite identify one of the crayons i never used maybe or a shade that didn’t exist then like coral or a dusty sunset across the red clay hills i longed to kiss them to see that pink smeared as she kissed my throat bit my […]
seventy degrees on a tuesday at the beginning of february seems like a waste of a beautiful day early february is meant for cocoa and cuddles and a crackling fire maybe that is the midwesterner in me maybe i just crave human contact
he carved little dragonflies into his thigh with rusty fishhooks while the wind sang in coffee cans by the rocky shore she danced on one foot while vipers hissed and struck at her when the swelling got too bad she switched feet they sell drugs out of metal lunchboxes to the men with no eyes […]
he had a grin on his face a gun in his hand pointed right at my chest unodostres i felt the bite before i heard the bark yet i stood there lacking any comprehension undeuxtrois again and again we played this game he’d count to three i would spring new leaks njëdytre i wondered aloud […]
Wednesday the 6th at 930pm CST I will be on the Deadman’s Tome podcast to promote my upcoming book, Notches. I’m excited and maybe a touch apprehensive. Self promotion is not really my thing. I think the stories in Notches stand well enough on their own I just have to get them into the hands […]
the ever expanding waistlines in the bible belt more a hangman’s noose around the throat of science evolving into a circular argument against what is plainly seen and plainly planted in scenic desperation add more corn syrup super size the daily regimen of anemic fact based reporting insulin prices are up corn futures are up […]
i’m just not me anymore not the same guy i used to be not becoming one i want to be less full of hope now just full of shit the happy go lucky guy died a couple miles back i just want a cabin in the middle of nowhere with a barrel of whiskey a […]
i see these reminders of valentine’s day fast approaching of chocolate hearts declarations of undying devotion already dying flowers in a cheap vase maybe i always did it wrong perhaps that is why this is yet another in a long string of hallmark holidays spent wondering what it is exactly that i so fundamentally lack […]
it was a dream i know it was a dream the kind of dream you don’t want to tell people about the kind that stays with you the kind that fades and fades all day but there is a sliver that eats at the back of your head that grinds down on you it was […]
her words shot from her tongue like comets across the early morning sky her eyes flashed in anger meteors fell obscuring the normally crystal clear iris for all that she is paradise she is destruction when the mood falls badly
i refuse to allow myself to be defined by need as prescribed to the human condition enslaved to desire shackled by that which i lack scarred by failure imprisoned by doubt yet all i have is this depression and empty meaningless words
in the beginning there was darkness from the darkness came chaos from the chaos came gaia rivers oceans seas sprang forth she came to me, nurturing as mother gaia, her hands scarred from battles fought, her eyes pure, her lips sweet as honey, her touch soft as silk then came eros the need to copulate […]
feeling caged need company or conversation or maybe just a freshly sharpened blade shear the sheep fleece the flock the walls are closing closing closing in again can you hear that just then hello is there anyone in here the bars have been greased no climbing from this cage a whetstone an ivory bone the […]
the man in the mirror made a face at me today a face i didn’t make from the face i have as well then he mouthed words at me enod ma i then he was gone from view just walked out of the frame i looked around in the reflection that suddenly didn’t reflect the […]
there is a radiance a blossoming light a schism in the finer fibers of nervous endings electrical malfeasance shooting sparks into the clear glass skull with muscular trappings bloody kisses from lipless mouths mewling softly as salt water tides slowly drown the incessant hiss of never more ever sore ever tired ever grasping the roots […]
i sat alone on the same bench to watch the same squirrels to think about the same woman who makes my heart flutter captain ahab and queequeg stopped and gave a sad stare in my direction seems they know a little something about obsessions tie me to the mast you bastards if i can’t have […]
the color of your hair of your eyes the taste of your lips the feel of your tongue as it plays with mine the rhythm of your pulse on my teeth at your throat the smell of your skin like sunlight and flowers the way your body fits snugly next to mine my love for […]
it was the light kiss of the razor, skimming across hot flesh, unblinking eyes and shaking fingers And I was tired, not sleepy but where your bones ache and your skin is a million nerve endings of pin pricks and goddamns. I could feel the passion in the room full of ultimatums ropes all taut. […]
she stood on the balcony of her lonely tower wondering if her hair was long enough to allow her prince to climb up and save her she did the calculations of tensile strength compared to the mass of a heavily armored body if she braided it the whole would be stronger and less likely to […]
i have twenty/twenty vision but I can’t see you i have a telescope that let’s me see the stars a microscope that makes the smallest large but of everything i can see in this entire universe when i look around me the most important isn’t here i would rather be blind and hear your voice […]
