mess(age)

woke up to an alert
got excited
a new message
hoping it was a dream
but life prefers
to spit out nightmares
i know this
deep down
that hope
is a chemical spray
a deterrent
a crux
in which to hang oneself
so when it was the face
of a former flame
staring at me
when i least expected
or wanted it
i only had myself to blame
today
i will lay in bed all day
let the misery ferment
maybe
it will make the sweetest wine
to drown my sorrows in
i won’t answer her though
that only leads
to hell
there is enough of that
dripping
from the walls

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