my hands shake as i shave my skull filled to overflowing with patches of oh so prickly misunderstandings running occam’s razor in my haphazard holistically heuristic half assed approach to mental wellness sometimes the best of all answers is the one that carries the fewest assumptions while other times i just want it to be […]

i cannot get out of my own raging brain writing words of venomous disdain on a loop if i don’t have anything nice to say scream in lowercase and delete the poems or save them for a collection for later on depends on just how angry the bastards have made me and i am absolutely […]

truthfully, no hope is not as dead as when i degrade it the words falling over maggoty lips a false proclamation made in the insidious heartscape of denial i remain ever hopeful in the desire for hope to come happily to fruition hoping against hope for hope in an endless cycle of self delusion i […]

he staresup at the ceilingalonejust the gymnastspracticingtheir routineabove himand a skullsplitting painreminding himhe stillreluctantlysomewhat exists he givestoo muchmost likely fortoo longclinging to thebroken thingshe foolishly believeshe can putback together againclutching tightto dreamshe stubbornly refusesto admitare long deadsoot stainswhere a lackof accomplishmentbecomes anotherburden of proof he staresup at the passivejudgment ofthe ceilingspilling hispain and regretinto thesilenceforgottenalonehaving […]

the fog rose from the fields along the sides of the two lane road billowing across the dark of a sleepy dawn the whorls of white played on the chill ever present wind beckoning gently a ghost tide of glacial patience covering scars made millenia before racing the rising sun down the highway far from […]

i wake i sit in the quiet alone i write tap tap tapping spilling out as much of my ugliness as the world can ignore every single day it brings no peace of mind to the pieces of mind i can sometiimes find a fool tapdancing in the shadows of a burned out spotlight clouds […]

perhaps i amindignantfuriously passivepetulantly glaringwaiting forsomething anythingthat could possiblymake me feel more an inert sparka fleeting hopedashed uponthe harsh reefa letdowna failurea deep regretetched deeplyinto subliminalignorance an amorphouscloud of locustspetrifiedin thick amberperfectly preservedimperfections hazily clusteredphotonic disarraybounced swiftlyfrom dead satellitemalignanciesthe dark side oflunar lunacya maladjustedinconvenience a blood spatterkaleidoscopic nightmarea gentle rippleblack against blackover the stillheartof the […]

perhaps i ama pigmentmercurial blackcollecting tearsuntil astray nibplucks mefrom the jar an ebon slivera numbness runningpins and needlesdown your spinea pricklinga burninga blinding flashigniting lightningthrough codifiedheartschisms a totem carvedfrom driftwooddrowning myselfin an oceanof sublimatedpainshivers a time capsuleof childhood dreamsencased inadult realizationscrystallizedby the fadingmemory of lighthot lancesin the sullen night uncertain outsidemyopic misperceptionshoarfrost coatingthe dismissive stareof […]

perhaps i am a figment semi autonomous collecting dust until a stray thought summons me back into being a silver glimmer a tickle caught in the back of your throat a nuisance an annoyance a sharp pain running ramshackle along trigeminal nervousness an indistinct wrecking ball hanging myself in the darkness just outside of actual […]

do you remember the game where you whispered a phrase to your friend who repeated it on and on to the end of the line where you found the original words had been obliterated? narratives seem to go much the same way from the truth of events into this malleable clay in which the actual […]

the planes chatter loudly above reminscent of the trains that used to pass behind my house the sound rattles irritated ossicles but it is silence tearing me apart the day is lazy yet my mind races unable to hear the voice of the story as it builds seeds of chaos sprout in the garden of […]

i managed to succumb to sleep as the pounding drums began to rattle my skull i woke a few hours later wrapped in rain and cold as aches raced from my shoulders to my brain shivering beneath the thin gray sheet ensconced in a veil of autumn and intermittent sullen agonies the skies threatened impregnated […]

it was already one of those days where the idea of taking off my shoes leaving them sitting with a note on the passenger seat then jumping into the inviting lake from the concrete bridge spanning the shores then i found out another friend had killed himself i guess those of us with mental issues […]

the ease of capturing every single moment sharing the most minscule developments to an electronically tethered ever shrinking world makes the most mundane tasks carry an air of actual accomplishment but i think of all the once in a lifetime events lost to hungry maw of time immemorial the things worthy of our remembrances rather […]

the thin line separating capitalism from cannibalism haunts me on these two day runs without an hour of sleep defintions slough away like rancid chunks of flesh until each word is just a puzzle of disharmonic consonants like the cries trapped deep in the back of my torn bloody throat consumerism begins to fade and […]

i cannot tell if it is loneliness or depression that lovingly ties the noose but there is something so reassuring in the weightlessness the moment just before the rope snaps

she stabbed him through the heart with an icicle the perfect crime leaving no evidence she was ever there just a jagged hole in his chest from the shard of tears to confound the police it was ruled suicide self inflicted by a fool who dared to dream the sweetest dream

the bones of my skull shift tectonically my heart was sewn in upside down and inside out the button eyes hang threads of flesh hastily stitched together a golem of dessicated remains shambling forth from the crypt lovingly placed by the same gnarled hands that put me together the wind is cool against my scarred […]

the crow stares at me perched on the hood head cocked curiously it is motionless as if waiting for me to break the silence i don’t know what it wants to hear so i don’t say anything at all rather than risk breaking the strange spell perhaps the light is reflecting oddly off of the […]

he thinks so much of himself that no one else seems to matter he talks over the entire group beleiving his opinion is the only one anyone wants to hear he over conpensates on a constant basis thinking if he is the loudest in the room it means everyone will have to acknowledge him take […]

it is an infestation a million shadows flitting at the edge of sight i watch them from the corner of my eye waiting for them to gather en masse and consume me whole leaving my hollow bones scattered across the floor her name etched deeply into the splintered ivory i think they understand they wait […]

they talk with false bravado making fun of the rival town that hasn’t been anymore than a reflection of the ghost town they live in little people puffing out their chests knowing there is a whole world but never leaving the same fifty mile radius following the path laid out by their daddy who learned […]

the traffic lights swing back and forth as the blustery winds rock my car i sit alone in the middle of nowhere as the hawks circle listening intently to the words of a fool i cannot tell if it is the gales making the treetops shake like pom-poms the swirling mass of shaken leaves spins […]

i do believe everyone is entitled to their own opinion i do not believe the entitlement extends to forcing said opinion down the throats of those that disagree we get so caught up in expressing ourselves we forget other ideas can be just as valid i find no matter sex, religion, or race i hold […]

age is an accumulation of various despairs that pile up until once soft skin becomes a testament to indescribable agony i wonder how many sunless days spent beneath untethered storms have ticked away from my grand total how many i simply wasted while wishing to die does it show mile markers on the road map […]

visceral snapshots of frozen anguishes in half shuttered exposure an intensity of night pulsating hollowly from the midday moon unsatisfied with supping daylight scraps an inception an assertion a lucid diversion an oversaturation of the echoing silence a sine wave connects our bleeding hearts a manifestation of the sun’s caress upon the cratered cheek of […]

i cut the brake lines before heading off onto another one way trip the wrong way towards a better tomorrow the gas light is on running on the fumes of yesterday’s ambition unwilling to be part of the change needed to finally find success the gas pedal is pressed all the way to the floor […]

silence does not breathe an utterance of restfulness the stuttering hands of time erase dream from insomniac eyes leaving blood draining out of tear ducts long past overused i looked up to find a spider hanging from a monofilament thread, slowly spinning as it watched to see if sleep would capture my mind so it […]

when we realize just how inconsequential we truly are the idea of a greater purpose of any kind becomes laughable a daydream to smother as life continues without a second thought as to how we stumble half blind through crowds and minefields incapable of asserting enough of a presence to be thought of at all […]

there are stretches of the texas landscape that lull me into a brief moment of frantic wonder as to where i am as i dissociate among the winding scars and eagles circling above i cannot recall exactly if i am still in texas or if i am driving past starved rock on my way down […]

forgot to set the alarm last night woke to hear the birds singing ten minutes before it would have rang i feel ancillary to whatever plot the universe has rolled out today a barnacle clinging to be part of the grand production i will be playing the part of stone three it is an unspeaking […]

it is quiet i cannot tell if it is the wind or a baby crying a muffled wailing seeping through the apartment walls i am stuck unable to move forward as none of the ideas feel good enough second guessing the fifteenth guess tearing it all into pieces littering the floor shards of eggshells on […]

hello hello good morning coffee is percolating the sun finally broke through to demystify potential storms a sign of better things to come of happier times ahead as the infusion of golden light but even the dire anger in the misplaced rejection reflected in the sloppy death threats carry the hint of faery tale endings […]

the things that define us are the same things that confine us a series of paper dolls faces contorted in abject misery fluttering madly in the rain the rough blades mindlessly slice creating more souls in this daisy chain of self awareness to scream as one as we hurtle faster into incomprehensible states of dismay […]

it feels as if the parted seas allowed me to stagger halfway nervously venturing across sucking silt as the waters churned mockingly on either side just to feel momentary calm before slamming back into place this isn’t another one about drowning we all see through the clumsy metaphor it is a call out to the […]

i have been missing absent no one that looks into this hazel dismissal would ever realize the body is functioning but the pilot jettisoned out the first time the realization of just how bad it is living with this constant cycle of bipolar insanity is i checked out when i realized that nothing fucking nothing […]

in the quiet moments between bouts of manic anxiety and depressed malaise exists a realm of boundless optimism where i can frolic for minutes every month i cling to these scant seconds so tightly a quiet place to ride out the storms our eyes scan the sky for rainbows they let us know that the […]

at times i feel so far removed from actual living an ache forms a soft sad little dim light shining through my torn tissue paper heart i exist in the center of an abstract algorithm calculating absurdity too ignorant to find a solution or perhaps too ill equipped to properly enact one when you view […]

the pointlessness is pointed jabbing pricking stabbing poking a trail of red running down my inner arm over forearms to drip down making sticky fingers this sticky wicket the immenisity in the unnecessarily pointed pointlessness that is my everyday discombobulation

they shamble past moaning incoherently backs bent by the weight of past loss clinging to agonies slowly breaking them into parodies of the people they once thought they were unwilling to let go still strangling the light from past flames unable to accept they starved the oxygen from infernos that blazed across the sky corpses […]

this couch is uncomfortable i sit pensive swatting at these insipid little angels as they circle my head with unblinking eyes four pair of wings flaming halos singing my beard when they get too close to me my ceiling is my neighbor’s dance hall the dulcet tones of a yelping dog keep time with the […]

the hands of the clock worried into knots lending an immobility to the fractured sky i woke upside down as the birds swam across a sea of clouds wasps buzzing trapped in the screen door as shadows scurry beneath the toaster the world caught in sublimation subliminal in hoarse cries a flummoxation of verdant leaves […]

a voice spoke to me from the cold side of forever in a sepulchral song tickling my inner ear waves of frigid serenity in surrender coalescing around my lizard brain i know not whom calls from beyond the veil whispering torment in the antithesis of daylight from beneath the liquid metals sloshing about the heart […]

one day after i have finally died i hope no one searches for meaning in my words dissecting poetry is the same as listening to someone describe their favorite sunset the perfect mix of pink and purple a hint of dark to the east when the diffusion of golden light saturated the world in a […]

there is a principle ofmicroscopic reversibilitya theoretical detanglingof proteins that couldallow man to unboil an eggreverting a solid intoits original state send me backwardsto a protozoan formback before the sunlightshone down with suchdegrading malevolencebreak me down into mybasic components andlet me drift off the cliffinto the gelatinous lakeof the primordial ooze before gillsbefore lungsbefore the […]

an echo rings out but no sound preceded a fuzzy aura halos that shouldn’t exist recombinant memories transcribed on frozen flesh a flurry of snapping bands bands of thorns a telltale trail of crimson droplets sprinting numbed to the horrors certain to lurk in the shadows of thought lancing memories a regurgitation of pain in […]

i see their pictures the youth i remember drained from the faces i barely can recall grown lined and round happy creases in the corners of sparkling eyes a single snapshot does not encapsulate the bickering screaming each petty barb cast this photo shows two people that have taken good and bad and found a […]

i worry sometimes all i am is a sea of misaprehenions a slurry of words spat in the same sullen monotony a flake of dandruff marring an immaculate suit other times i am sure of it but occasionally i yearn to be more than the last drink half spit half cheap whiskey left forgotten in […]

the idea of dying in a hospital horrifies me the knowledge that all i could leave is astronomical bills i will likely die in misery at home secure in the knowledge i didn’t saddle my loved ones with a mountain of debt that says something about the terrible state of healthcare here government funded addiction […]

an electron dispersion as dream turns to a shower of sparks smoldering upon the carefully tucked covers until the entire dreamscape becomes a raging inferno slowly consuming every stray oxygen molecule to fuel the never ending destruction tossing and turning a cold sweat clings to numbed flesh another evening spent in the throes of manic […]

there is a completion in letting go of the last vestige of dream a happy sigh as the pressure leaks out falling slowly into the routines left behind no more frantic scratching just releasing the voices settling into silence the incessant cycle creation to deflation begin again and again until you are buried under unpublished […]

he smiled showing granite teeth carved into fangs bats flew out from the darkness that was his howling forever a schism in skin a skein of fate unravelled tangled yarn of a million degnerate souls in a pile of brightly colored distress still he smiled through the cloud of rabid rodents with hungry maws screeching […]

a thunderous doom rings clear in the quiet morn the powder clots no matter how much i stir the glass it floats and bobs defiantly on the surface reminding me there is nothing in existence i have any control over yet i keep turning the spoon moronically the steady bursts of lavender blossoms light the […]

perhaps poetry is a vestigial trait one worn to the nub a random mutation eroding in a world where everyone seems to feel everything causing apathy to drape itself over the constant grit the quiet desperation of the solitary poet an appendix ignored a forgotten stump only remembered in times of great crisis how i […]

i sat silently on the picnic table watching as obsidian waves gently kissed the beach the first birds piercing hidden things had woken the second set who whistled happily drowning out the first or perhaps they napped lulled to sleep by the happy song bellies full of the early worms on which they supped peace […]

i imagine around seventy percent of what i write is likely terrible but the same amount of effort goes into the seventy percent as it does into the thirty percent and i will be goddamned if i can tell any sort of difference between the two sides a short order cook during lunch hour with […]

i always feel hopeful before i check the status of my bank account the things i need the things i want happy little plans gone to ashes as soon as log in i don’t know what it is exactly i think will be there a magical thousand dollars i forgot about maybe a sudden surge […]

shards of glass on the cool breeze cutting deeply into the resonating pangs that come with rising opening tired eyes to take in the majesty in the fleeting seconds each day feeling the prolonged effects of the living condition eroding expression off of calcium masks layered musculature covered in failing flesh less emotive each new […]

i like to get a topo chico with a hint of lime every once and a while as i walked from cooler to cooler searching the rows before my eyes i beheld a miracle in the beauty of life rows of little sodas waddled down the plastic tracks sea turle babies freshly hatched headed to […]

the redundancy feelsdidactic in a morosediabetic dilemmaa lazy glaze of malaisediametrically shot inpanoramic lens flareshowing nothing butthe shades of a liferendered neatly unseen an energetic anemiaa slow leeching of willa nervous nervelessnessa calculated chaosleft to flop on the coalsof this apathetic sunrise sounding on the clangingchimes in a whirlwindtornadic turbulenceit tastes like batteriesanxiously unassuming inpresumptive […]

broken spectacles shadows dart in the bottom of drawers a panic stricken sense of encroaching agonies unbespoke the sun came out to be swallowed whole by the incidental clouds as the men march in bright orange brandishing implements of lawncare the screams of leaf blowers a morning siren for the disenfranchised dreamer my pillows are […]

i got a new alarm a couple weeks ago my neighbor who works the early shift back his large truck the over compensator into the space right outside of my bedroom window and at around four fifteen he goes out and sits revving the engine until about four thirty it rattles through the sleep that […]

the sun did not rise behind the cloud cover the land is tinted with azure highlights a semblance of cold to overlay the day a facade in tentative shades of tainted light the traces of sickness sparkle in muted hues dreamlike in intensity nightmarish to behold another day blurred incomprehensible from the ones before it […]

i am tired the stinging rebuke of rejections a remora swimming with the sharks foolishly believing there was a place among the hunters a parasitic failure picking scraps from between ferocious teeth slowly starving in symbiotic emptiness what is a writer no one reads but a delusion in streaming words pooled in the drain forgotten […]

at last it rains angry droplets so long hovering at the verge as the crow wings darken the sky they are expelled washing away the sins coating the city i watch as the trash wobbles drunkenly in the swollen gutters racing the raging drivers windshield wipers slashing dismissively across the glass a solitary baby shoe, […]

gray is present as i exist in the present tense a bundle of spindly wires rusted in peeling plastic a harness unharnessed useless and frail still thr rains only threaten nothing falls listless hopes awaiting the battering cold drops shaped like tears the skies do not weep they are aghast afraid, ashamed, aloof asymmetrical allegories […]

empty hollow a candle’s flame a series of conical reactions zero density a reckless chain of water vapor carbon dioxide melted wax less than the component of the candle itself slowly destroying its own form for dire chemistries my adoration carries the rapture of a thousand suns molten at the core the coal fire stokes […]

over caffeinated souldust glitter humming in hues frigidly staring at nothing for hours retracing steps through the blizzard of dust shed skin and radioactivity this heart is a geiger counter clicking hisses rapidly tick glow in the dark with the serenity of sterile flame blistered flesh bubbles as the rancid bits slough fluidly off of […]

lost tired a forest of rat teeth yellowed incisors sharply sprang from the sickly gums buried deeply in the soil enameled roots thriving untended gnashing a constant gnawing a thousand pinpricks of purple light dancing playfully along the hollow cavities we alternate positions arms snaked around each other a sleepless fugue of exhausted terrors given […]

he whispers softly to each bullet reminding them of their sacred purpose he cleans and oils his rifle with the patient hands of a practiced lover who he was eroded with every flash and puff of cordite until he and his weapon were indistinguishable he is a killer the blood crusted upon his hands could […]

the storm smothers yet will not engage baleful despicable an inane insanity sequestered anxiety i fall from the sky a fledgling river a dense fog a leaf mottled in red and gold a lone drop hits the glass i wait breath held for another

every third bird glitches winking in and out static flashes each car is the same make same model same color indistinct drivers exude boredom i dissassociate from dissociating i am numb the days are summer each night kissed by winter i oscillate generating electricity in eye blinks sending a morse code cry for help flashing […]

the lavender pierces through the day a trident thrown by poseidon an explosion eradicating all thought bursts of ill defined painshudders deteriorating consciousness at the atomic level a cluster ringing in stinging nettles clamped tight around this hollow burden lilac blossoms carried on nuclear winds degenerating nervous anxieties into full on armageddons

a stagnancy permeatesthe predawn luciditya sleepless pressurea franticness instigatedin the lost hourof silent reproach of teeth of dream of heavenbroken broken brokenlogisitical fallacies in brazenshades of nightfalldusky hints of terminal neurosisthe fecund mindscape of brutally self inflicted malaises my mind skips across the placid puddlesripples ever wideninga drop of intensityblanketing the soundscape betweenlocked jaw and […]

under swollen moon persecuted by adventitious misery a wave frozen in glass unable to feel ebbing tug of the cratered satellite crystalline tears an engagement of sorrows misplaced displaced replaced by sullen imposters untouched by the wan yellow glow disengaged from the soulshiver pining in this supple sea of secondhand tranquility lunacy in lunar withdrawal […]

his once sharp features eroded with time his button nose peeking out clitorally from sagging jowls he was once somebody in fact he was once someone now just a collection of clogged arteries desperate to cling to the sparse silver crowning his skull razor sharp tongue pitted and dulled he glares ruddily with porcine contempt […]

he stood stone still a statue as night pissed darkness across his face i mistook him at first for a phylactery of meaningless discourse a golem with nonsense carved into his clay unmoving form the cats hissed as they passed but he showed no emotion a tree with dead roots a father figure in abandoned […]

the car a reflection of my soul a mess piled on every available surface a boot, a hole in the toe, a daisy grows through the worn leather, two coconuts, cracked, leaking spoiled milk to drown a chain of paper dolls with cigarette burns where their hearts once beat, a prayer unspoken, flowery prose unheard, […]

hello helios trapped in helium dream the remnants of sorrow cling to each beam of golden dismay barimetrically opposed in summer’s lingering embrace oh sulking sun eminently hungering expanding a ball of flame consuming the emptiness the universe an unwanted pregnancy this star indifferent to the rocks in perpetual orbit ossuaries floating lifeless fuel for […]

sitting in this room listening to wheezes a sense of dread from the nebulous doom that seems to hover over the huddled masses yearning to be well kafka said he liked the americans because they were healthy and optimistic i have to remind myself this is before high fructose corn syrup was pumped into everything […]

my mind races a consolidation of unfortunate truth leaving scabs on this pockmarked soul oozing pus down the surface of monochromatic hell an inverse prism of indentured sorrow painblossoms in flowery script

does my grief glow as a light burning with greasy smoke an overladen ladder bowing in the middle teetering toppling an unopened pack of cigarettes calling forth tiny daggers of eventual demise the door sits cracked open but i am unable to tell the direction in which it leads no strobing red light to illuminate […]

i am insistent in carving a wedjat upon my furrowed brow before the falcon flies off into the setting sun absorbing as much from the hunter’s screeching cries awaiting the adze to crack my skull the hooks driven through cartilage to remove my brain wrap my corpse in bright silks send it floating down the […]

there is a constant motion dark things flit at the edge of ny vision a spider bite glares at me angry and red i do not scratch i do not move as small streaks skitter about i snap my head only for them to vanish back into the shadows once more am i mad disassociating […]

if we at least attempt to find the poetry in the everyday rigmorale of the perpetual sameness inherent in existence we can leave a broken trail of heartwept insolence to confound future generations dousing the flames of this trashfire into windswept paintings to brighten the eastern sky

he will no longer chase false hopes left scattered tiring of being nothing feeling himself fading away disconnecting from the world keeping him carefully held at arms length the wind chimes sing in the darkness while he sits huddled afraid to open the blinds to the nothing outside the reflection of himself in sterile skies […]

we need to normalize screaming as we greet the sun stabbing with rusted daggers into the soul of creation spewing great truth in the faces of all the liars dancing nude in moonbeams as the cricket symphony plays there are lightning bugs in our chests desperate to call out to kindred hearts we need to […]

every experience is one lived over and over again for the first time in these things the repetitious life is filled with a stark barren hell of paraded monotonies a determination to grind smiles to dust i repeat myself in an effort to make sense out of this senseless routine desperate to find the correct […]

beauty strikes at the heart of this panoply of melancholia an icy finger tracing the tender leaving blossoms of radiant anguish to take root filling furrowed scars with daffodil petals as bees of anxiety spread pollen in stinging nettles over taut flesh beneath lavender skies

he was an armadillo retreating into his carapace whenever he was overwhelmed he may as well have carried leprosy as repugnant as the world found him in general rocking on his back curled up into a ball staring at the ceiling hoping for a sign he knew was never coming he was an armadillo always […]

a friend asked meif it feels bettercatharticto spill ny gutsonto the pageevery single day the easy answerthe one that i knowshe wanted to hearis of courseit is liberating the answer she gotnot in the slightestit is reopeninga wound so it mayfester in the lightit hurts as badreliving the momentas it did living itworse so becausein […]

he buried them in neat little rows across his backyard doll heads in mason jars staring up at him in tiny sealed watery graves each of them one of his sins still in tangles of hair like seaweeds suspended watching vigilantly awaiting the next he would stand sobbing alone staring back at them incapable of […]

i am a top teetering wobbling before coming to a stop my momentum is spent the urge to fall over too great i have come utterly undone no longer do the fingers of eternity wind me up