i call her friday because she is freedom from the trials of the week i call her july because she is summer and all the joy that sunshine entails i call her though she doesn’t answer my calls i call out to her yet she goes where she will irregardless of my need i call […]
i cannot make much, but i will build you a castle made out of sand, we can hide until the tides sweep us back into sea i cannot give much, but eternal dedication in the form of sloppy words, we can burn them to keep warm in the long lonesome night i can do both […]
why of all the swirling doubts that fill the air like mosquitos on a hot june evening sensing sweet nectar the warm pulsing of blood it comes back time and time again why there was a candle in the window of the second story room the light danced sending elongated images of nefarious deeds across […]
the porthole had fogged up due to the storms i rubbed it away peered out into the black sky lightning raced across the sky in great arcs gave brief glances at the frothy waves in one such flash i saw her she seemed to ride a wave towards the ship seaweed colored hair with an […]
the ink of her penned odes to another bleed through the page and stain my heart, it flows through my veins, attacking my marrow, etching her words into the double helix of despair that makes up the flawed being, barely being worthy of being a witness to her brilliance, being less than a human being, […]
there are shelves of classics all around the bedroom but none that can hold a candle to you works by the greatest poets in history, yet none have even come close to the majesty of you it’s your spine i would like to run my fingers down, your soul i wish to mine the secrets […]
https://www.theboldmom.com/notches-by-m-ennenbach/ The wonderful TheBoldMom just posted about Notches being up for digital copy pre-orders. She runs an awesome site and cares about pushing literature. https://roadienotes.com/2019/02/21/getting-personal-with-mike-ennenbach/ This is an interview I did with Becky, the co-host of Deadmans Tome podcast. I will also be on the podcast again March 6th. This time more relaxed I hope. […]
the weight of the world crushes down, anxiousness ebbs from the core of my being, compressing, collapsing, a man sized crater all that remains i yearn to become an armadillo halfway there as is a leprous thing, tainting all that come near, eyes glowing in the night, reflecting a light not inherent inside curling into […]
everyone of the words was another red hot dagger into his soul. how many more barbs could he stand before finally succumbing to the pain and snuffing the candle himself? a new scar to remind him of how fleeting the old scars were. his flesh more a topographical map of sorrow than that of a […]
i felt the change come over me my joints popped cracked as my limbs took on a whole new shape the pain so intense it crossed a boundary into pleasure of a sort my arms stretched muscles corded knotted up rational thought fades into hunger i forget the pain as my mouth rips grows speech […]
pre-orders go live on Friday! Tales of love, depression, blackest of black humor and even a gigantic poem. I’m proud of this collection. There is something in it for nearly everyone. And this is just the beginning. I hope. love me
if i could pinch the world erase the distance between your heart and mine tear through both space and time just for a moment of your precious time silence kills but distance builds up scar tissue restricts the flow of oxygen collapsed lung bleeding out in a dry riverbed fetid feelings fester help me rip […]
my head is swimming as the world seems to be filled with need my teeth are shards of glass jammed into bleeding gums, my hands replaced with talons, my heart a wicker basket filled with coals what more can you take, what more can i give, just ask and it is yours just another case […]
the band of gold you once wore sits upon my finger today, it feels as if it weighs the same as a dwarf star i don’t know what to say every year i dread your birthday the scab gets ripped off and the pain flows freely if energy is neither created nor destroyed, then you […]
of all the things lost in the sands of time, fallen to the bottom of the hourglass, buried by incremental entropy you were the hardest to lose on the black wings of the raven, high on thermals above, searching the world below for hidden morsels but you are nowhere to be found the hourglass is […]
my blood is on fire my love, it sets the oceans aflame as i let it fall into the water, an open vein sparks the inferno as i seek to summon you back for one more night of feverish need help me make it all go away or burn it to the ground around us […]
i sought the most beautiful stone to place upon your finger nothing was ever good enough in my eyes not for you maybe a stone from the riverbed would have been enough smoothed by the ever flowing stream a symbol of my love for you a fallen star set in onyx to show how long […]
i gave up your ghost so long ago but it still haunts me in the quiet times spent alone building this house of cards in a hurricane that tastes like your lips feels like your touch across my bare skin why did you have to encapsulate my desire my dream my yearning so goddamned right […]
did you know you were in my dream last night after i had thought i was done being possessed by the spirit of your touch yet i closed my eyes and your soft footsteps entered my mind again do you recall how you initiated it you hoped for a night of pleasure but as i […]
some days are bad days this one is getting worse the butterflies in my stomach are monarchs with razor fangs, the bats in my belfry have gotten into the meth again rancid remains of ridicule the check is late i’m overdue i’m sinking down into the backed up sewers, sliding down into ruin, falling faster […]
i stood over him, he lay in a heap as the rain fell, his mouth gasped like a bass on the dock for a moment the rain appeared crimson as if the clouds were bleeding as lightning slashed everytime i screamed for help, thunder crashed, drowning out my voice in the booming i closed my […]
selling myself to a world that didn’t want me when i tried to give myself away hide the profits in the marginal dismay of another failing quarter, drawn and quartered, playing quarters for shots of hope in hopelessness drunken anger it isn’t greed, being broke is fine when you have other things to fill the […]
she was still, as if her cloven hoof was encased in amber slowly bubbling up from the ground beneath, topaz highlights in the low light of subterranean strip malls and nail salons glass bones wrapped in copper wire like ganglia, fine rubber hosing threaded carefully, fibrous roots bunched like monocotyledonous musculature covered with brown paper […]
the sheets smell clean, like lilacs and lavender, but i would give anything, for them to smell like you again the milk has gone bad, yellowish fluid, curdled remnants floating in the tainted liquid of yesterday’s fond regrets took the remaining paints and poured them all together, it looked like a wet dream in circular […]
i don’t recall what happened after before is crystal clear though it was a smile, a kind word, a compliment said not for one in return after? mystery before? easy it began with a seed taking root within my guts, roots spreading from my now wobbly knees, past my sweaty palms, across my desert like […]
*my actual eye, the window to emptiness. ugly face, sometimes pretty eyes.
was thinking of taking a trip. looking around for what to pack when i realized all my baggage is emotional. futility. regret. depression. and a thick coat of compassionate vacancy. luckily i have gotten so good at pushing it down all i need is a carry on. just put on a fresh set of mental […]
love is an absence an abscess an access panel to nothing unfelt unrepentant unreal unacknowledged unaccepted unpronounced i saw it once oozing down the torn fishnet stocking of a prostitute with morning sickness behind a dumpster her left eye was swollen, when she smiled you could see the scars of life etched into her tattered […]
rotten gourds in the roots of yggdrasil, seeping into all of the realms, split and blackened the aria sounds i stand alone on stage, the spotlight blinds me as i look out on the empty seats in front of me the rot swims, taints my mouth as i open it to sing, the words choke […]
sparkling light calls out in the empty room, will o’wisps dance in the air softly singing voices, odes to love, of escape, lure in the unexpectant fool the sweet smell of flowers, pollen heavy on the breeze, impossible to deny follow us down, follow us down, away from care and worries, where dream is at […]
the air was still, heavy with moisture not yet prepared to fall, tranquility before the storm ever looming all around she stand in pure night, no star nor moon above, nothing reflected off of her ivory skin, her black hair nigh invisible the gentle sound of the rake against the sand, tracing around stone pagodas, […]
i am the drowned king of a broken kingdom filled with empty gestures fevered dedications painstakingly recreated carved in marble epitaphs for those long dead but never ever forgotten hail hail the drowned king in his kingdom of darkness sitting atop a throne of mummified hearts supping upon the salty tears of lost hopes tossed […]
the leaves were the color of a freshly newborn child, that purplish red of a soon to be bruise. the sunlight filtered down and danced upon the ground. a slight breeze tried to blow from the north but sputtered before accomplishing much. i sat with my back against the tree, wondering how it all came […]
woke up in suddenly freezing abode after nearly eleven hours of fighting dreams, nearly mummified in twisted blankets my knuckles are sore, cracked and bleeding, my muscles are screaming, my voice has gone hoarse from screaming for you there is pomegranate juice spread across my chest, sticky and sweet smelling, the black grit of crawling […]
orange and black koi dart across the shadow dappled pond feast and fuck no thought no sense i feel envious stress overthinking i wonder how… no it is serene in the yin yang pool the water flows gently over the dark black stones bamboo a dragonfly flits between the petals of the yunzhu flowers the […]
i need a nap a warm body to lie next to someone to wake up with someone to love accepting applications email is in my contact yes the door is unlocked
i cannot give you a portion of who i am as we set forth upon these turbulent waves there is no part of me sequestered away if you cannot handle everything good bad indifferent the spectre of forever plays heartily in every subtle movement like a catfish settled into the sediment of the river bottom […]
i’ve given up on you on me on us this old dog learned one new trick how to bury a dream the world was once all colorful and bright now it is a black and white shit show fuck me for dreaming
he stared at his face in the pool of water under the bridge wondering where the young man that used to watch him back went to the one with hopes and dreams the one that searched tirelessly for his missing pieces he had settled into the broken found himself in the loss but he didn’t […]
she might not have been the One but she was the one my heart was set upon a simple stroke of the shift key maybe life would have turned out differently the ceiling looks lovely tonight nary a hope left in the darkness
Been staring at the ceiling for two hours. This has been stuck in my head. Happy Valentine’s Day.
i hope he made you feel special today, gave you a massage, told you how beautiful you look, made it clear to the world that perfection begins and ends with your smiling face i hope he kissed you until you couldn’t breathe, made your toes curl, made you cum twenty times until you could barely […]
i fell into my head today and ignored the world outside i fell into my head today because all i wanted was to fall into you i fell into my head today and screamed as the walls closed in i fell into my head because i fell in love knowing it wasn’t mine i fell […]
i got a text from eris today the goddess of dischord she was checking in to see how i was doing i had asked for a sign from whichever pantheon was looking over me it makes sense chaos and dischord would be the ones her golden apple has always been special ever since reading robert […]
anxiety filled heart pounding against my ribs mind racing like mad cannot take another day lost in the depths of sorrow
i have spent hours reading my own words was asked for a manuscript filled with my writing for a book of poetry my goddess there is only so much of myself i can handle after a month and a half of insipid lines i may finally snap why do i continue after all of this […]
took a long walk this morning headphones in music blaring echoing in my skull cars racing past i pondered my bricklaying ability did i build a high enough wall around the disappointment the lack of anything to keep the loneliness at bay these hands aren’t those of a craftsman no master not in matters of […]
she carved her initials across my brachial plexus so every movement screamed her name seventy millivolts firing her after image flashes i find myself flexing just to see her face
there was a trail of discarded clothing down the hallway torn and rapidly discarded like a hurricane had blown through a bra hung off the door knob boxers here lace lined panties there a button down shirt sans buttons following the trail of destruction led to an open door muffled moans in quiet night a […]
it begins with the tinkling keys of a piano softly playing in a smoke filled room her heels clicking across the hardwood floors, the swish of her dress in time with the sway of her hips * he eyes the glass in front of him, runs his finger around the rim of it absently a […]
i don’t celebrate valentine’s day but i would if you were mine i would buy you a stuffed animal spray it with my cologne so when we are apart it is like i am there everyday would be valentine’s day i already write poems for you just imagine if i could make them come true […]
we, she and i, speak together like two oak trees, serene, sharing a root system that spreads across the land and time she tells me the truth, unveils the things hidden from my eyes, rattles off mysteries like the voice of delphi from the depths but she is built upon a bed of diamond, beautiful […]
she asked me to take her to the moon for a picnic i thought about it long and hard it wasn’t difficult to set up the shuttle ride i packed a blanket and some food we held hands as the rocket shuddered and shook earth fell away like a blue marble beneath us when we […]
twisted into a parody of hr geiger’s nightmare, sexual and dripping malice in scream inducing frozen moments of pleasure and pain my flesh crawls as the muscles in my legs cramp in time to the fight or flight gag reflex that consumes me in this overbearing silence veins stand against too thin skin like worms […]
the shadows play across the ceiling as i spend night whatever in a row unable to sleep even as my vision grows blurry this pounding in my skull is a nonrefundable debt to the universe for services not yet rendered have you ever felt like maybe it was the end of the world and that […]
the creak of the chair as the coffee pot spits hot water across the grounds cinnamon fills the air as the birds wake up in the bush right outside the window soon the little bastards will be singing some vapid ode to seed and berry and yarn and stick happily chirping as if the world […]
fear knots my guts terror stricken cold sweat shaking knees * voices in the darkness * she tied a string around my finger a reminder of what is unclear * i remember dying agony convulsing bleeding out on the cold tile of the kitchen floor * there was no bright light no choir of angels […]
i am clueless when it comes to the opposite sex i don’t know how to play games i don’t assume so unless things are spelled out for me i don’t know what is happening this is why i will die alone
i am a man of my word but that word is loneliness i built you a castle with my bare hands ignore the fact that it is made out of sand slowly falling apart in the rising tides my last home was a house of cards but without you it was a queen of hearts […]
her touch was like sunlight through the blinds, after a month of rain the rains have passed, finally, the clouds have taken leave of their claustrophobic grasp upon the land, azure fills in this sudden absence of gray her absence is like hoarfrost on my heart, a coating of ice so pure and biting the […]
he spun words into silk for her to drape across her body, he had nothing more to offer her, alas, the words would never be enough there was always someone better, more deft at weaving, more able at stringing turns of phrase into works of art she deserves so the fool did one last act […]
she has read my entire story, thumbed my pages while writing thoughts into the margins, trying to highlight the underdeveloped good points the spine is cracked on this tale of woe, it is a story old as time, boy is born, is beaten, is broken, is left to his own literary devices as he stumbles […]
swimming through an ocean of glass in search of the octopus garden darkness closes in, crushing me in the depths of frigid water, what lurks beneath the light line jellyfish bob listlessly tendrils float small silver streaks dart about pull me deeper, drown me in your embrace, free me from these feelings of inadequacy, i […]
she was the raven circling over my head, the shadow on my heart in the x-ray, the thought that kept sleep at bay, the racing in my pulse it isn’t the voltage that kills you it is the amperage, the arrhythmia translucent in her eyes how many nights did i long to hear her voice, […]
i can feel the half moons of blood well up on my palms as my oversharp fingernails cut into them shaking fists and throbbing temples is it frustration or simple contemplation, a restoration, an emancipation, a declaration of love that will never be love is a broken boomerang i continue to throw hoping one day […]
dust devils along the gravel road the sunshine filters into raging grit demons inner and without lashing out into the pale wan light * surreptitious serendipity saline cognition mathematically misused tenderly torn in two x and y harbor hidden doubts that z is planely oblivious * rattling bones hung from the dipping branches of the […]
if you are going to love someone make it a paleontologist someone that is willing to sift through the dirt and strata to find the skeleton hidden away to take the time to clean the remains rebuild a stable structure with nuts and bolts long after it has all fallen apart don’t fall in love […]
woke up to an alert got excited a new message hoping it was a dream but life prefers to spit out nightmares i know this deep down that hope is a chemical spray a deterrent a crux in which to hang oneself so when it was the face of a former flame staring at me […]
nothing that is here now was before and most likely won’t be in the future everything is temporary even my love for you will one day be dust and etchings on the ivory bones of my remains
Balcones Fault i’ve left my heart and soul scattered along i-35 from dallas to del rio shattered like the tectonic shifts as my emotional stability was fracked in hopes of mining precious commodities * Fractured you opened things inside of me made me think there was a chance at something more but it was me […]
i read dickinson for the first time today see i don’t really like poetry i don’t understand it the hidden messages the undercurrent the metaphors all beyond my feeble grasp see i am not looking for the secrets of the universe hidden in prose scribbled notes on where it all went wrong no that is […]
crystal chandeliers cast shadows of sparkling diamonds across the faded wood floor how our feet shuffled gracefully to the song that played when our hearts were one your hair like shimmering strands of spun gold as i twirled you in front of me your cheeks flushed as i dipped you ever so low and how […]
Another wistful song of longing, on repeat in my head since i quit pretending to try and sleep.
it has rained for two days straight it seems to have been enough to finally rinse your scent from my nose no more baying after you chasing after what doesn’t want to be caught the hunt is over might as well try and catch ghosts as pursue something that was never there except in dreams
there is a maze in my skull get lost with me mitochondria make my cells continue on continue on how long have i hugged the edges of the whirlpool seeking the center infinity at the center of her eye calm in a turbulent safe zone left left right the ball of yarn loosely spread out […]
(january) an ex was born this month, a mistake that led to two perfectly carved diamonds frozen broken huddled in a ball ripped and torn spikes of ice ragged wounds crimson ice (february) my father was born this month, flawed and brilliant, my hero despite my own actions shortness of breath wheezing spots in my […]
i won’t say the words that swell inside of me out loud not to have them fall upon deaf ears they have lost meaning i will try not to think them not to feel them grow inside of me until i feel i will burst if i could i would cut the part of myself […]
(september) this is typically when the rains begin again, when the thirsty soil turns vibrant again, reborn to die confusion refusal self destruction with no understanding this life is a break between infinities (october) laughter fills the night, the crinkle of plastic costumes, faces painted like the visage of death burning leaves the icy chill […]
(may) too many lost loves, one born and buried in the now muddy ground of these thirty one flavors of hell the green slowly takes the brown the allergies soon take over the ability to breathe beautiful to itchy eyes (june) the freedom of warm winds, of oiled bike chains, stolen kisses in the dead […]
sorrow etched his face much like hard work callused his hands it was a part of him a defining trait like hazel eyes or a receding hairline he owned it his smile never reached his eyes carried that tinge of bitterness sarcasm flavored his speech self doubt was his cologne of choice it wasn’t his […]
i was standing in a thunderstorm, watching the lightning play across the sky, the purple after images burned into my retinas rain running down my head and into my eyes, the crash of thunder palpable, my heart racing with every flash of voltage the smell of ozone burning mixed with that fresh rain scent, masking […]
let’s lie upon the river bank beneath the shady tree let’s watch the clouds meander slowly overhead your head next to mine my mouth eagerly awaiting the taste of wine stained lips the tall grass tickles as i absently stroke your skin a feather touch chills across your body or maybe instead we can just […]
(january) an ex was born this month, a mistake that led to two perfectly carved diamonds frozen broken huddled in a ball ripped and torn spikes of ice ragged wounds crimson ice (february) my father was born this month, flawed and brilliant, my hero despite my own actions shortness of breath wheezing spots in my […]
now attempting system override //cmd: run will to live protocol error: system incapable of processing request contact admin if issue persists now commencing shutdown of all non-essential functions love hope dream will happiness motor control initiate final solution hard drive deletion imminent commence cessation of all systems user profile erased from mainframe compete systemic failure […]
alone bloody knuckles from striking the wall this ache it tears at my insides like barb wire a need for more in a world that only knows how to take it is all too much to take to process to handle to make sense of alone with thoughts that no one should have this fire […]
i asked her did it hurt when you fell? and she gave me a grin replied from heaven? thinking she had heard this one before it was my turn to grin back no, from the pedestal i had placed you on, high above every other her face crumbled like the foundation of respect i had […]
when i tell you that you are beautiful i don’t want you to misunderstand what i am trying to say it isn’t a line or me trying to be slick when i say you are the most beautiful woman i have ever seen i mean that because my feelings for you and that magnificence you […]
i danced with a ghost tonight she had a famliar smile sad eyes that spoke volumes she stood awkwardly with a silent question on her face i stared back confused she nodded to my phone more, i guessed to the music it was playing hesitantly i turned it up she stared expectantly i bowed to […]
she came to me again last night i felt a chill travel down my spine when i looked out the window i saw her misty beautiful yet just out of focus staring back sadly at me a smile of infinite sorrow traced across her face i felt my heart break my vision blurred when i […]
i am my own therapist i over charge over analyze over compensate for the things that are broken inside my therapist says i have unresolved issues from my childhood my therapist says i have not been the same since my dad died my therapist says a lot of things but i choose to ignore him […]
i won’t beg unless that’s your thing i won’t say i can do things no one else ever has to you but you will be hard pressed to remember anyone that did it half as well you might beg a little it might be something i like you’ll know my hands better than your own […]
she was the first and only woman to break my heart twice to have two albums associated with agony to be allowed to walk barefoot across my arterial highway with that devilish grin as i begged for more she could strut cock her head make me follow i was a lemming willing to charge blind […]
the face of the clock is a doorway while time only goes one way the hands reflect the past how much of the flow is wasted trying to swim against the tide
1) it started with a smile. that’s all. a simple smile across the crowded room. like a neutron bomb rippling across my consciousness. 2) it ended with a smile. that’s all. a simple smile across an empty room. like a shattering of glass that was my entire being. 3) how many smiles between? how many […]
this is not a love story not another desperate plea for acceptance not me opening my heart to another empty room the beat of the dessication in time with the ebbing silence unseen unheard uncaring this is my love turning into a cicada burying itself in the cold soil for seven years awakening to find […]
how many times did i stare at the faded photograph memorizing the faces trying to recall what it looked like the colors not washed out the scents the feel if i heard the voices today i wouldn’t recognize them i fear they would be as strangers to my ears that hurts a deep down pain […]
Hello my dear friends and readers. It’s late and even though it has been days since I have slept I am wired as can be. Blame it on mania or just old fashioned excitement. I did the podcast this evening. It was a blast. Very inappropriate. Not family friendly in the slightest but we all […]
use my bloated corpse as a boat to traverse these moss choked waterways let me do that much for you one last bold sacrifice in a long string of meaningless gestures god knows in life i did nothing worthy of your attention deficit just dug deeper into anonymity a burr inside your wet socks at […]
the shelves are lined with someone else’s odes to a her i have never seen not imagined in a way that brings her smile to life the twinkle of mirth in her eye the soft emotion in her voice the bookshelves in my mind are a different tale altogether they sing with her laughter exude […]
a flower blossoms in utter silence love dies much the same so i scream hoping to never fade away
