lucid dreams in which you’re near bending laws of time and space wishing just for you to be here the lies of fate seem all too clear like the lines upon my face lucid dreams in which you’re near doubts with ugly heads that rear of futility in which i need to chase wishing just […]
i thought my heart was in a state of arrhythmia, my head aches and my mind only seems capable of focusing on her out sequence throbbing in my veins i rest two fingers in wrist and try and call my nerves two quick pulses one quick one long two quick three long three quick one […]
you see a tripwire, i see a means to an end. it feels as if society is a dogearred copy of salinger from flipping its collective shit. all the while i cut myself not to make the pain real but to make sure i am still capable of bleeding. that they did not swoop in […]
“Good morning.” “Morning Mona.” “You seem chipper.” “My work bestie met my outside work besties. It was a momentous occasion.” “It was?” “It wasn’t?” “They were nice.” “Uh oh.” “Well. They were different.” “Oh yeah. For sure.” “What did you tell them about me?” “Your name and we work together.” “That’s all?” “Yep. Why?” “Well. […]
the words kept singing and she grew tired of my heeding their call and went to bed, angry at me, tired of being ignored it wasn’t as if i did it on purpose i just can’t leave something half done it was half an hour later when i slowly opened the door and crept into […]
depression is giving me the silent treatment lately oh she still clings to me and weighs down my normal, is my normal but she is mad i don’t talk about her as much as i used to i think she is jealous just another her thinking she is the her that fills my heart and […]
she has this ability to derail my train of thought, to collapse the tunnel and rend the tracks from the earth she is the light at the end, barrelling towards me with no regard to decorum or my fleeting sense of self just the billowing black smoke of inevitability, signals i cannot read wafting high […]
shutting down the system for maintenance, stuck in the same loop, depression, loneliness, silence, not enough, set a sail in a rickety boat with more leaks than leg room on a dry river bed of desire distant howls signalling they come to feed again, slavering maws and jagged fangs, eyes devoid of all but hunger, […]
the cold light of morning tends to shine upon you things we don’t want to see the loss of the day before the wreckage we stumble away from seems so much worse as the muscle ache sets in and the adrenaline wears off the snapshots in our mind, a jumble of blurring colors, all seems […]
the cat watches the fish swim the fish is in an imbecilic daze swimming in lazy circles there is no thought in it’s vacant little eyes the cat has nothing but malice as it stares i clear my throat a sure sign to her that i know what she is thinking she looks at me […]
restless leg syndrome has taken over my entire frame vibrating molecular motion in tune with another dimension occasional bleed over occurs tabbies with moth wings sentient knives with thick eastern european accents my legs are caught in a fisherman’s net and the tolling of the bell on the buoy calls out staggered steps towards the […]
“Good morning.” “But is it?” “A good morning? Sure.” “Hmmm.” “What happened?” “I don’t even know how to describe it.” “You don’t know how to describe something? Hold on, I need to jot this down on my calendar.” “For what?” “Do you know how rare it is when you are at a loss?” “Somewhat often?” […]
i think about death a lot too much my death not suicide though if i had a nickel for everytime that though had occured i could pay for therapy and a bottle of pills that would stop the incessant erections and thoughts about i think about death a lot not sure how you quantify a […]
shifts in time zones and early morning flights a full body sense of discombobulation i meant to read but woke three hours later as the tablet fell with a surprisingly jarring impact against my face panic set in where am i, whose bed is this, why is it so cold in here eyes refusing to […]
I saw her as I was waiting in line at Target. I don’t know what made me look up from my phone. Yes I was staring at my phone. I don’t do the self check out bullshit. The last time I was standing there screaming at the machine that the fucking bread was in the […]
irradiated in the solar rays isotopical failure half life full life no life left mutated designated reinstated ridicule falling farther from the light of day ensconced in shadow left with waxy feathers and an expired lottery ticket roaming the world alone a modern day daedelus craftsman destined to watch the ones he loves scorched and […]
this life beats me to a pulp and all i can do is curl up in a ball and let fate dry fuck me into oblivion i picture you and it all smooths out a little this a part meant hell this impossible need for more in a world of dwindling hope you shine like […]
don’t wear a seat belt lest you drown in your own urine, a placard attached to the peg board next to my soul and daddy says come to the kingdom of light and rejoice, i feel a tankard short of a viking funeral two hands for the players, one for the house, keep your sentences […]
i carved your initials into the bench by the tree under the moon where we once sat and promised forever to one another in foolish abandon do you remember the promises we whispered into one another’s ears while we made love under the stars did we make love i ask myself or did we affirm […]
the voices whisper constantly a litany an invocation white noise in the background of every quiet moment gentle tolling of the bell the dagger the cup an entire tarot deck come alive thousand fates unfold at once don’t go that way this path is fraught with peril death danger failure inconceivable torment allegorical ache irreparable […]
Three years and fifty one weeks ago “Good morning.” “I’ve made a huge mistake.” “Is this how we start our morning?” “With you being pleasant and me running from crisis to crisis? God, I hope not.” “What crisis?” “I’m an idiot.” “It’s only been a week but I think I can agree to that statement.” […]
in the moments before dawn, right before the tendrils of light push the darkness back, that sublime moment of anticipation and fear what new horrors will be cast in shadow, the hidden face of primal fears and knots in sub-gastrointestinal distress will be shown it is a time of truth, where the machiavellian plots of […]
just another social anxiety flare up one of those public autopsies encouraging hashtags and in depth analysis no one cares what i think so when the inevitable breakdown occurs audacious ineffectualness a murder of crows settles silently on the fence a conspiracy of ravens on the church steeple universally inept coroners conduct a social autopsy […]
thunder lizards on the horizon subtle shaking as they roam closer stark technicolor nightmares viscera a low upright bass off scene buh doom boom boom boom boom boom boom buh doom boom boom boom fingers run down the ivory keys the tyrannosaurus snaps a brush across the cymbal nostrils flared the scent of prey on […]
i asked her for her name and she only whispered death i chuckled but she didn’t even smile the closer i looked at her the more indistinct she seemed to grow the room chilled as she grew near i tried to make small talk but she was indifferent at best, disinterested and bored with subtle […]
you are beautiful as i float along this gentle winding river of shattered dreams and fluttering moths of yesterday gathering the pieces i’ve so carelessly let go over time pieces of me of you of strangers glittering little baubles of broken hearts and souls well wishes and wandering eyes as the words fall in fat […]
the bible says man gave a rib to make woman i’d give another rib to have you here, in front of me, to just whisper my eternal love to you i would use my tears to moisten the clay beneath me so i could sculpt an effigy of you to show my devotion but my […]
“Good morning.” “Hi! How are you?” “I’m doing well.” “Awesome. I’m Mike. Looks like we are going to be sharing this room together.” “It does. I’m Mona.” “Is your middle name Lisa?” “What? Oh. No.” “Get that a lot?” “No.” “Oh. Seems like an obvious question.” “I guess it does.” “I’m sorry. I’m rambling. I […]
and as the world crumbles down around us all i can wish for is to feel your hand upon my cheek your lips on mine to gaze into your eyes as it turns to ash there could be no greater way to go my sweet lost love you were the most wonderful dream in a […]
so many thoughts fly none of them fill me like you like this bottle here i’m empty and discarded headed for the bin outside nothing fills me up it all just leaks down my face what a fucking waste another vessel ignored left to be broken again open another let the liquid slosh about and […]
i came home to find her asleep in my bed she had on my shirt, too long and big for her but she wore it so well she was laying still and i watched her as she slept memories of a hundred nights of lying next to her i let her sleep didn’t climb in […]
there’s a quivering in my abdomen, a fear begins to grow, the words they come a spilling out, there is nothing left to show fear is just uncertainty, and trauma seeds to sow, armageddon is two blocks away, my head’s about to blow the razor runs perpendicular to the raised scar tissue that starts to […]
i know i’m a human the question i’m feeling this one has me reeling am i a human being being anything, just a walking corpse, just a stain, a pain, another moron penning sad refrains am i here can you hear am i a human being being anything but a carbon dioxide dispenser, a tear […]
she said if you’re playing with me, you’re likely going to drown so i dove in headfirst i let her churning waves and mysterious depths consume me no need for a deep breath not in her oxygenated embrace the farther down i swam, the more i needed to explore all sensation of up and down […]
did i tell you i dreamt of you last night no how could i we don’t really talk i would have though in the dream i was back up north a place we have never been not together at least i went to the bar that i always went to and remembered falsely you went […]
can you see yourself through the lens of another person’s bend, if you could would you look hummingbirds and preying mantises prance along the feeder outside my window i know how this will play out, another bird carcass littering the ground what does the bird see, just a bundle of patiently staring green sticks what […]
“Good morning!” “Sure.” “What’s wrong?” “The hospital sucked.” “They do.” “But…” “Oh no. What did you do?” “Did I ever tell you how much I like scrubs?” “The clothes or the TLC song?” “Both.” “No. You never mentioned that. Either.” “And you know what the nurses all wear?” “Please tell me you didn’t…” “So this […]
the taste of whiskey will always be synonymous with your lips, the feel of your hair as i pull it, the taste of your throat as i hold your head back the sweet burn as it goes down and the smell of your perfume as we pull over just so we can kiss some more […]
bananas have tryptophan and trace amounts of radioactive potassium if i eat twenty five million bananas and the radiation and consumption don’t kill me i could gain superpowers or sleep throughout the night either or is a best case scenario am i willing to go to such desperate measures when i close my eyes i […]
my life has become an abandoned camp ground, when i explore it seems i’m always traveling past tents, in the past tense, by fires that raged but left blackened circles of stone and half whittled confessions if you close your eyes you can hear camp songs echo over the trees, which is funny because i’ve […]
our relationship was a ménage à trois, this love that we shared, those secrets we bared it was her, me and crippling emotional divestment sharing a mattress of exposed springs and pillows wet with tears she’d tie me in knots with her pretty tongue and leave me drenched in sweaty denials when she placed her […]
he came crawling out of the woods, his femur broken and pushed through the skin, the smell of infectious rot permeating the air his eyes unfocused, finger tips covered in blood and the ragged remains of fingernails everyone stopped what they were doing to stare at him as he pulled himself slowly along the ground […]
even in dream in a world of pretend when my mind is free to make believe it is an empty void while awake grand visions dance and frolic but when all is quiet it is that distinct lack of anything that smothers my head shhh no need to remind that she doesn’t exist let me […]
give it a couple minutes to kick in, she whispered in an evil tone playfully how will i know it is working i asked nervously you will know my head snapped back as fireworks blossomed across my optic nerve i was on the back of an otter, if it was huge or i was small […]
“Hello?” “—” “Mona?” “—” “What in the hell? Hello!” “Hello Michael.” “Hello? Who’s there?” “I’m hurt. You don’t know who I am?” “There’s no one there.” “Isn’t that how you always described me? An absentee father?” “I doubt it. The only one I ever describe like that is…” “Go on…” “No.” “Come on.” “No way.” […]
1) she stared at me waiting for me to make the first move in my head i knew i should lean forward and kiss her knew it was what we both wanted all i could do was stare into her eyes 6) she pulled me down the hallway to show me the framed pictures of […]
she wore a shirt that said eat me, drink me and i was ravenous dying of thirst willing to go down that rabbit hole a tea service for two smiling when she announced it was off with my head told her i loved her she grimaced said that was seven impossible things she’d heard before […]
More creative haiku collaboration with HelloLauren based on her post . ***** Brokenhearted one Sad secrets are in the shards Blue melancholy misery abounds happiness has no home here all hope abandoned Wretched, sick, flailing Questioning my existence End this lonely life everything ends except for this solitude no one hears my cries Though they […]
i loved, i lived and i lost, ghosted and roasted by an egregious flame that sputters and flickers chasing shadows across the lawn, invisible puppeteers and the strings they tug and yank,jerking movements and motion sickness on full display my soul is a greasy soap bubble floating through a forest of thorns, anxiety and ill […]
if you knew the effort it takes to sand down my horns, to hide my blackened wings, to keep my tarnished halo hidden, these cloven hooves require special boots often it is forgotten i can be the lightbringer, the chosen child before my being cast out, my fall more famous than my earlier position as […]
the steady hum of the dual solenoids firing rapidly, needles driving deep into epidermal artistry, wiping blood and excess ink away as the pattern takes shape, like a thousand nettles, an angry swarm of beautiful bees, lost in the endorphin surge, elevated the story of my life with another indoctrination, every new scar, every new […]
“Good morning.” “No.” “Excuse me.” “I said no.” “I heard that.” “Okay.” “I’m meant what do you mean?” “Not today Mona.” “Not today what?” “I’m not feeling up to our normal routine.” “What happened?” “Nothing. You want coffee?” “Tea. And an explanation.” “Tea it is.” Some days things go from bad to worse. Some weeks […]
she walked in like she owned the place she may have how in hell would i know the difference she came over sat at the table next to me and stared at me like i was some kind of stain on the chair cushion she pulled out a pack of smokes and carefully tapped one […]
black tar tears blister and bubble down her cheeks rusted nails across the dirty glass of her soul she has been seasoned with needles of stringent regret and left in the heat of tortured passion the tinkling keys of a piano played like the loose teeth in her smile an angel with moth wings and […]
in these hastily written odes to her, to life, to depression, to home, to loss, to pain, to tender refrain, to bloody knuckles, to jazz, to music, to muses, to ruses, to rhyme in tanka, in haiku, of sonnets, of soliloquies, free form, rigid structure, dialogues and diatribes this is a dedication to you, i’m […]
indistinct mutterings from the other side of the veil, frail, stale and lost under the stove, kingdom of discarded spoons and lintball fantasies, gone the way of the slotted spatula and hope captured, enraptured, fact into fiction, friction, mistakes in diction, restrictions, restricting, conradicting, evicting the childhood to make room for adult condominium desires compartmentalized, […]
a lot of my sloppy odes are directed towards her, the mystical she, the not so well disguised metaphor for love, for pain, the incarnation of ache, of unrequited need she is the culmination of a life of bitter regrets, of poingant rememberance, of heady need and passionate lust she has the face of every […]
when i was a kid we went to the laundromat every sunday morning back then i hated it, or thought i did we would get up early, my father and i, and get there as it opened a deck of cards and endless hands of spades or hearts or go fish to make the time […]
hello passengers, this the captain speaking it is seventy five degrees and the barometric pressure is roughly as intense as the heart of a black hole out there we expect a terrifying flight across the endless void of insecurities and unbound passion if you look out the window to your left you will see the […]
“How did it go?” “Good morning to you too.” “Damn it Mike. How did it go?” “I got so shitty drunk. And remember that waitress with the brown eyes? Let’s just say she has a third. And I saw it. And it was just as pretty.” “Look here mother fucker. You know what I’m asking […]
as i lay here naked in bed, the works of true genius to my left, a cold wall to my right the empty bed feels like it is a football field, the derisive voices of real authors mocking my feeble works from the stands the fan blowing across me, sending little bumps of gooseflesh up […]
the cat sits watching as the mouse stares at the cheese the dog looks at the cat the spider happily weaves in the candle’s waning light a bird builds a nest in the thick bush just outside while the squirrel scurries a chill begins to settle as the moon shines down on all he sits […]
i traded two expired coupons for the whisper of a wish the whisper of a wish for three beanie babies a lucky find the spider eggs were still unhatched mostly gave those to a gourmand for a pinch of essence of wonder the essence went fast to a bored kangaroo got three billy ripken baseball […]
if i die tonight know every day was a gift even through the pain light one lone candle and place it in the window to guide my spirit just call out my name and i will come to see you my love will survive every soft whisper crosses past the great divide and pulls me […]
remember when i didn’t say i love you as i stared into your eyes under the harvest moon the stars gleaming and the wind was chilly and full of the promise of snow and how you looked at me with wide eyes as we were the only two people on the planet for one long […]
the last time was the last time in a long series of last times just another broken hearted broken promise that only promised he’d grow more broken as time passed but no matter the matters that so shook and shattered he found the strength to try try again a testament to ageless stupidity but if […]
call me your satan, come rub my horns, let me teach you how sweet bad can be call me your dionysus, drink with me a spell, our revelry doesn’t ever have to end call me your satyr, be my nymph, and let my seed take root beneath your loving tree call me demon, call me […]
“Feeling better?” “Sure.” “It’s been three days. What happened?” “Not sure. Bug, I guess.” “It wasn’t a bug. It was what we asked.” “Kind of.” “Definitely. What happened?” “It’s a big deal.” “It is.” “And I know what it means to you two.” “Okay.” “But. Why me?” “Oh fuck Mikey, why not you?” “Obviously one […]
when i write about you i always write it twice one in words you can read one in braille as painstakingly difficult as it is to put myself onto the page and bare my inner thoughts to you to take the time to raise the little bunps on the sheets of paper you’ll never see […]
she didn’t remember me, no, she didn’t forget me either, instead he chose to dismember me with her mind looked past the times of smiles and joy, the laughter, the love i once thought we shared but she so selfishly kept as she walked away she remembered to tear it all apart in her mind, […]
everytime the phone rings a sense of dread and misplaced hope a break in silence another intrusionary diversion selling more unnecessary dreams, death and dismemberment of emotional dependency do you ever wish you could hit that magic button and talk to the one you need to hear the most a blank icon that reaches out […]
the human heart goes for one million dollars, yet i cannot give mine away intrinsic value compared to sense of worth i suppose but still i stand on the street playing the violin for loose change fingers dancing on the strings, eyes closed and visions of you play on in my head spinning signs on […]
“Good morning.” “Hey Mona.” “Hey?” “Hello madam, how is thou this fine summer morn?” “Better. And I am more a fair maiden. Madam seems stuffy and old.” “I stick with my prior descriptor.” “Ass.” “Barely.” “It is awfully flat back there. Is that genetic?” “No. Well maybe. I didn’t check out a lot of my […]
she mounted my head above her fireplace she ran her fingers across my skin and removed it with the razor blade she keeps in her mouth stretched it across the plywood beams and let it season in the sun before making lampshades bottled my blood in homespun glass with a sprig of mint and a […]
dear five year old me i know it hurts, shhh, it’s okay to cry, let it out, trust me i’m you no the other kids don’t wear long sleeves to cover up the bruises they don’t grimace when they sit back against the hard wooden chairs or feel the wetness on their back from a […]
she came to me again last night it was quiet and i had fallen asleep but i woke to the feel of her lips on my cheek this was unhealthy, needed to stop, but before i could actualize these thoughts i had fallen into her embrace i grow weaker with every taste, she feeds on […]
am a light bulb swinging in a dark basement, the filament is tenuous and the next flip of the switch, surge of voltage could be the last, glowing a burnt sienna when once it was white hot illumination a festering wound filled with maggots that no matter how ravenous can not eat the spoil away […]
the knife slid upwards between his ribs like an eagle diving into the placid waters there was little resistance as it slid through lung and heart his knees immediately went weak and he slumped forward she caught him before he could hit the ground his eyes met her’s and the pain was not from the […]
sometimes i need this a driving bassline to blast to erase the edge turn it up louder and go lose myself in the music when the world goes dark and my head is lost in space i need an escape something to shake the malaise to lift me up when i’m down this song never […]
“Did you see that shit out there?” “Good morning.” “Yeah. Whatever. Seriously. Did you see that shit?” “I’m fine Mike. No, we just stayed in and watched television. Thanks for asking.” “Mona. I’m glad your life has become a routine of television and vanilla sex. I’m happy to see domestic bliss is upon you. Did […]
and still i’m awake twenty hours later and sleep won’t find me i curse the walls for their silence the ceiling for it’s allure the world for it’s indifference my mind for it’s ceaseless rambles tried begging and pleading backwards counting and offset breathing how do i shut this off this mental replay seeking fanciful […]
the dead come stumbling down the street towards me hungering their vacant eyes devoid of thought staring down at their phones en masse a part of but apart from this world of the living and they outnumber us us souls still searching for a connection that doesn’t involve towers and satellites look at them mindlessly […]
she is a bolt of lightning that courses through my every thought, from the moment i wake up to when i stare at the walls halfway through the night the personification of dream, of desire, of hope, of love, distilled and made whole she is the dull ache, the sudden rush of adrenalized creation, like […]
we weren’t star crossed lovers, just two pieces of the wings, from an ill fated cross country flight, just two separate beings, we were just two bullets, fired from two shaky guns, and when we crashed it was spectacular, but nobody won you looked at me and smiled, and i gave my heart away, enchanted […]
i stayed up last night staring at the ceiling lost in thought, eyes heavy with precipitation just at the edge of falling, gathering up on my cheeks like dew what more could i do i’d like to say i fell asleep and dreams of you danced inside my head, but the ceiling was so alluring […]
just another pile of brittle bones made of kindling, kerosene for blood and paraffin wax for eyes, devoid of life but yearning for flame a laissez faire scarecrow perched on the side of life’s back road, crows perched with little regard to inane regularities she was slick with desire, legs grinding together like a cricket, […]
you wrote me a letter, an offering of secrets, i read it over and again, your trust and pulling back the curtain sparked something deep inside of me read it over and again, your perfume intoxicating, your handwriting beautiful and precise, like you, i could see the swirls and loops of your pen imagine the […]
i came to the realization today the wide open eye, breath choking in my throat, sweaty palm conclusion i’m dying it’s fine i’ve accepted it one of these days instead of angrily opening my eyes and muttering a hearty fuck you to an uncaring world i just won’t the poems will stop everything else will […]
“Good morning.” “It is now.” “Aww. Did you miss me?” “Not really. There is a spider in the corner and I think it is plotting to lay eggs in my brain. I need you to smash it good.” “I’m gone two weeks and all you missed me for was killing bugs?” “Arachnid.” “Whatever.” “I missed […]
she looked me up and down a smile on her lips let me tell you something you are a pig a real asshole you say what you want disguised as the truth as if you think it makes you better for being real it doesn’t sugar coating doesn’t make you weak would it kill you […]
on nights like this i hear the sadness echo off the rooftops the lapping waves of an ocean of tears, cold as the fan hits my face i scribble on the walls and then try and decipher the meaning of them through blurry eyes the wind through the leaves like the rattling of bones and […]
my mind is a museum, i take guided tours through the musty halls in the quiet moments those brief seconds of peace between bouts of overwhelming sorrow and confusing seconds of energetic need those are the times i am me, like when we talked, the voices grow quiet and all there is is all there […]
the first fist caught me in the side of the face, my head snapped to the side and i spat blood onto the ground the next three, well i’m a little fuzzy on those but as i launched my forehead into the bridge of the first one’s nose with a satisfying crunch and drove my […]
feels like the world shifted one degree to the right, to the left and i wouldn’t have noticed everything is perfectly normal but not like it is more difficult to put on the mask or maybe i want to see what it is like without but i’m afraid how does everyone do it so effortlessly […]
another bleak day more rain and not enough light my life spilling out affecting the world outside and on the music spins out he said he’s looking for the words that he can say and i look around all i have is those sad words but the meanings seem unclear he doesn’t know how yet […]
do you ever read what you wrote and try and recall the exact moment you knew you were so messed up that it all made sense to you, that those words meant more than random filler ever sift through the remains of your life and try to put the puzzle back together again but it […]
the day started like it always does, not with a bang but a whimper of denial, the rebound headache forcing the reminder that new day doesn’t mean fresh anything blink my eyes and wait for them to focus on the nothing surrounding me this nothing a more familiar nothing than the previous nothing of the […]
“Good morning Mona!” “—” “Oh yeah. Another week until you’re back from vacation.” “—” “This sucks.” “—” “Sometimes I question everything. Like why do I even bother. My only healthy relationship is here with you. And it is antagonistic. My life is empty. Devoid of any meaning except regaling you with stories from a better […]
my guts feel twisted up in knots as i sit here crying from words of beauty that cut through me like a hailstorm of rapturous shrapnel fired directly into my heart tapping out words of the most exquisite sorrowful joy onto a screen i can not see to a world that doesn’t see in a […]
the cat stalks me as i walk down the path every now and then the swish of it’s tail gives it away go away you stupid beast, you don’t want any of this the movement stops and i wonder if i succeeded so i continue walking along night has fallen and the tree branches hang […]
Mike's Manic Word Depot 